Negativity and Failure

We might be one of those who confuse between Self respect the virtue and Ego the vice.The reason is simple:Both infuse a sense of pride. What I feel is ego and self respect are the two extremes of a single line. Unlocking the mystery is vital. Before moving to the differences, let us address the two — Ego and Self Respect. Definitions of Ego and Self Respect Ego is negative. It is an emerging belief arising from deliberate comparison of oneself with others.We compare ourselves with both the higher and lower people we consider in terms of money, power, authority, appearance, anything. Either we feel superior or we get hurt. Self respect is positive. There is a deeper consciousness where we commit only to actions that don't cause shame while doing it or afterward. A heightened state when there's self-acceptance regardless of possessions and identities.  I love this citation: “There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.” —John C. Maxwell It wonderfully defines the two often confused Ego and Self Respect.Let us jump right into the differences: 15 differences between Ego and Self respect Ego- We bow down to the ones we consider superior to us, and bully/ignore the ones inferior in our adulterated minds.Self Respect- There's a positive attitude where we love everyone including ourselves.Ego- Me only me... there's only self-interest even at the cost of hurting others. What's worse, we are unconscious of it most times.Self Respect- We, we, or after you... We take care of everyone's sentiments, never hurting anyone intentionally. Same time making sure our voice is heard.Ego- We are in constant comparison and competition with others. We desire to beat them anyhow.Self Respect- We don't compare ourselves to others. We aspire to touch our deeper selves.Ego- We deliberately choose the wrong means, opt for shortcuts, be manipulative just to satisfy our ego.Self Respect- Our respect for ourselves is supreme which refrains from committing to the wrong. It encourages to choose difficult paths, the tough responses.Ego- We fear the outside world — people and situations. The reason is simple: Self-conceit is hollow, so we fear any change from the monotony could expose our nudity as naked.Self Respect- We fear no one as there's nothing to hide. We welcome the new through a positive attitude and self-belief. Ego- It dwells on materialistic achievements and alluring drives. We buy an expensive mobile or a new car, it fuels our ego. We feel superior to others. But when we lose money or power, our ego is shattered. There's always dependency for happiness.Self Respect- It is an inner virtue not fuelled by materialism. It is a guiding light from our deeper self independent of the outside world.Ego- It fulfills with negative emotions deriving out of self-pride. These negative emotions are hatred, jealousy, anger, greed, impatience, and the like. We don't hesitate to harm and misuse others.Self Respect - When we ride high on self-respect, we love ourselves and respect...

If there were no cameras, every soul would tell an interesting story. Wondering which cameras? The people’s eyes which blink to capture your sadness. Yes, these cameras want a shot of your disappointment because you failed to fulfill their undue expectations. What worse... you are giving them a perfect picture! Let’s find out what’s happening... You take care of our personal and professional environment, what you don’t introspect is your social environment, the major cause of a person’s downfall. Social media has a testimony, I need not explain how it swallows your solitude time. Even I had a fear of people’s judgments. But when I found most of us have the same problem, I thought of digging deep into it. My observation... People are judging you every time and place. Many times, those judgments are wrong and sometimes, salt over the wound. Surprisingly, it doesn't matter whether right or wrong, people's judgments about you are not the problems.  The biggest problem is the way you allow these judgments affect you. The intensity level raises to an extent where even when there is no one around, you still don’t remember your real self.  You stop defining yourself anymore. Your self-awareness is under the illusion of people’s judgments.You become a television whose remote control is with people. To tell the bitter truth, You think for people, feel for people, do for people... you start living for people. What you don’t realize... In the process of taking care of people, you don’t think about yourself. In the process of pleasing people, you are unpleasing yourself. Yes, your social environment is polluting your personal and professional environment. Want to know why it happens? You are aware of people but not self-aware. In the process, what's going around you is bothering you, not what's happening inside you. Imperative to find a solution... To your surprise, I don’t have a solution to your problems! Like always, you have the best solution. But to figure it out, the first thing I suggest is to shift your consciousness from people to oneself. Only then, you could trigger your self-analysis mode to find out why the outer world is over-powering your inner world. What I found out: The fear of people’s judgment is because of insecurities. What you have to find out: Why your insecurities are so loud that your integrity is suffering? Is it a competition or just a comparison? Are you insecure about your physical body or your mental efficiency? Are you fearing people’s judgment or only a person’s judgment? Which environment is getting polluted- personal, professional, both?  Might be any other insecurity, you know more than anybody what exactly causes you fear of people’s judgments. You need to find out that bomb and diffuse it. You'll find different kinds of people everywhere. When you meet them, they observe you. And when you meet them often, they form an opinion about you. And that's completely fine. They'll perceive you as per their understanding. You can't control their mind! But what you can assure is the exhibition of your real self- what you are and how you feel. Big applause to the author who quotes... “People will judge you anyway, make sure you...

Are you losing beautiful people in the process of pleasing the social environment? A renowned musician Bob Marley once said: Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. So beginning with, let’s meet the people surrounding you indigenous to distinct environments: We’ll start with the most essential sphere... Personal Environment: Generally, the people from this domain are beautiful. The most admirable quality about them is they can distinguish your real self from your fabrications. Wondering what’s the chemistry you share with the people from your personal environment? A sense of belongingness budding from attachment! And sometimes, this intimacy inflicts unbearable pain. You won’t deny the stronger the connection, the deeper it hurts. But is this attachment a setback? No, it’s not. Come on! They are an integral part of your life; he/she is your life partner, parent, kid, sibling, and friend. You seek and reciprocate love in this sphere. There are certain responsibilities you owe towards each other. You share a strong connect anyway — physical, emotional, mental, financial. Obviously, when all of this is happening, an attachment has to seep from either side. And that’s perfectly fine! No wonder, misunderstandings hurt sentiments on a few occasions. Yes, sometimes obligations are overburdening. There are times when you exhaust fulfilling their expectations. And there are situations when you feel a prisoner because of dependency. Look: No two individuals are the same and sometimes, miscommunications may cause distress in the relationship.  Having said: Stop blaming attachment for covering own inefficiency and incompetence. Do you realize how essential is this bond? Not only the soft cries but this deep attachment also bestows you with blissful memories to cherish. Where losing a family member inflicts pain; arrival of a family member spreads joy. Sometimes these people make you cry; most of the times they offer you a hundred reasons to smile. When an unfulfilled expectation hurts; a fulfilled wish rejuvenates. When they make you realize your mistakes; they are the only ones appreciating your credentials. When they blame; they even apologize. I’m sure you agree with most of the episodes. And for those beautiful reasons, make sure the ego never obstructs your way to a healthy personal environment.  Let’s jump to the next dimension... Professional environment: Much like your personal sphere, you need to make adjustments here too. Most of us are employers or employees in the professional environment; right? If you are an employee, you need to respect your boss. If you are a boss, you need to appreciate your employees. After all, the byproduct is money on which everyone strives. As I always say: Money is not every reason but the first reason for happiness.  The professional environment is a vital sphere demanding your meticulous attention. So yes, blending with the people from this world is your unsung priority. And that’s fine again. But are we done? Did you meet everyone? No, you didn’t. Suddenly from the last few years, a new environment has evolved polluting all the other aspects of your life. What’s that? Social environment: It’s an illusionary environment created by you. It is destroying the habitats of your primary two environments. Social media as a testimony; do you realize how it’s unidentified addiction is mercilessly slaughtering your...

Simply, Indecisiveness is the inability to take a decision. An indecisive person is confused whether they should take a left, a right or to stick with the current position. The positive side of it is that we have the liberty and option to chose. In fact, there is no problem in taking some time to choose the right option. However, things get complicated when we spend too much time evaluating the pros and cons associated with making the right decision. Let us try to comprehend the 7 reasons for indecisiveness and the ways to counter it: 1. Prolonged thinking  The foremost reason is thinking too much in the evaluation of the pros n cons attached to the decision-making. It creates a never-ending confusion, which refrains us from taking a decision. Solution- No doubt, it is important to think before making a decision but let us not over-think to create a mental blockage wherein our mind loses the ability to decide.  2. Too many available options  Many a time, the delight to savor several choices turns out to be an upset. The flickering mind creates a chaos inside the mind, which adds to the inability to decide. Solution- We need to understand that we cannot have everything. Let us respect the options available, and chose the one which is our priority.   3. Fear of choosing wrong  At times, the indecisiveness is because we fear that the decision we would take might prove to be wrong. This apprehension keeps us away from inclination towards a choice. When we fear failures, we start recalling our previous decisions which proved wrong. Subsequently, we unnecessarily put extra pressure on ourselves to take the correct decision. Solution- We need to sink into mind that failures are the gateways to success. Let us not allow the past failures to affect our current decision-making process. 4. Thinking 'what people will think' Sometimes, we want to please everyone with our decision. As a result, we start emphasizing too much on the people’s opinion about the options available.  In the process, our ability to take the right decision gets hampered. Solution- There is no harm in listening to everybody, but we also need to realize that people are never short of opinions and suggestions. Let us never authorize anyone to decide on our behalf. And also, let us stop getting affected by what they will think about it.   5. Not listening to the conscious self  More often than not, we don't listen to our inner voice, the voice which is right most of the times. When we don’t trust the answers from within us at the first place, it infuses the dilemmas leading to indecisiveness and eventually resulting in poor decision-making. Solution- Rest assured, most of the times, we have the right answer. We need to patiently wait for the answer which is within us, trust our instincts and go with the flow. This way, we enjoy all the credentials all alone and even if the decision proves to be wrong, at least we do not have people to blame. 6. The desire for the ideal condition  If the decision-making is tough, it means there are...

Ok, let me second that negative people and things surround you. Simultaneously, don't you feel that an individual or a situation detrimental to you could be positive for others? Moreover, don't you think it is entirely practicable that others find you cynical? Having said that, does that make you negative? No, it does not. One thing you need to realize is every individual perceive people and situations according to him/her. I am sorry but only seeing negativity implies that you are wearing a defective pair of lenses. Please stop playing the blame game. Always remember that you can never get affected by others when you have a dominant and a powerful inner-self.  Straight out, getting carried away by negativity emitted by people and situations is your incompetency to deal with it. Feeling cynical because of others implies that you are not under the influence of your aura. It indicates that you are dwelling on others' aura. Summon into mind that YOU are the only reason for your negativity or positivity. You cannot get affected by others if you have a prestigious and powerful inner self. Moreover, one more thing you need to understand is that you should not stay quiet if you have an opinion. Speak up. Express yourself. Let people know what you feel. Flushing out emotional feelings then and there always makes you feel lighter. Subsequently, it enables you to keep away from negativity. Retaining things inside you gives birth to negativity. Eventually, you start playing the blame game. Stop doing it.  

Have you ever felt that the fear created by your mind is intense than the actual face of the feared moment? And if you don’t fear it, you respond better being it a spontaneous moment? Let us simplify it. The process where you fear your fear... The problem starts with thinking about the fear right from the outset you get to know you have to face an unusual situation. It soon turns into an apprehension. Your mind distresses because of over-thinking about one thing-the feared moment. As a result, you get detached from the present moment.  But after the actualization of the feared moment, surprisingly you realize that you could have dealt better with it. But the real problem was the fear of fear, with the actual intensity of the problem being extremely low. This way, you never win over your fear, and the fear retains inside you because you did not kill it.  I am sure you have gone through this process many times. A few realizations... Fear has nothing to do with being brave or a coward. Everyone fears someone or something. It even works as a boon as it allows you to prepare to face it.  But the problem arises when you don't do anything about it. You keep fearing that moment until it arrives. This way, you never overcome that fear. Adding to your plight, fearing the fear gives birth to many other negative emotions. Eventually, it kills the essence and feel of the now. You see, it is all connected and is a vicious circle. Reasons you fear...       1. Non-awareness of mind in the present moment You do not live the life surrounding you. Instead, you think either about your past or future. It leads to over-thinking and you lose awareness in the present moment. Eventually, overthinking makes way for apprehensions.      2. Low in inner-self attributes When you are low in self-confidence and self-esteem, you don’t back yourself and trust yourself. Your fear keeps revolving inside your mind, leading to worries and apprehensions.      3. An unpleasant past When you have a troubled past, you don’t have pleasant memories to cherish. You relate those dark instances of the past to every upcoming situation and attach apprehensions in the process.  What do you fear? (This is important...) People It relates to your aura. When you do not dwell on your own aura, others’ aura becomes dominant on you. People define your living and thinking because you are under their influence. You become dependent on them and in the process; you fear people. Straight out solution... When you are right according to you, don’t care even if it is wrong according to people. Just back your right with a positive attitude and confidence.  2. Situation You are usually uncomfortable with the news of facing anything new. The situations which force you to step out of your comfort zone becomes the cause of your fear. Straight out solution... You just need to alter your thinking because unless you welcome the new, you will never be able to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. And if you want to excel...

A lockdown for bodies, but minds still wandering... And this distance between mind and body — it’s turning the inevitable pain into self-made suffering. But that’s the downside!! Let’s talk about the upside... the positives through this period. Let’s try to experience these happy realizations: 1. Death connecting us to life People are dying everywhere. It provokes fear of death now and then at every heart, no different you and me. But amidst all these did you realize: We literally experienced our biggest fear Death sitting at home? Gracious we are alive!  Is there a bigger blessing? I don’t think so. Let’s celebrate life with a toast to breath as the biggest reason to smile. 2. Higher sensitivity towards poverty and hunger It’s not only about this lockdown when the poor are dying of hunger. Earlier, most of us could only sympathize. We could not take that one step further — to think about doing something for them. Why? Either shortage of time or our own lives in a turmoil. Now as we standstill, there are more volunteers to think about the poor. This lockdown has taken our sympathies to another level. And that’s wonderful! 3. Turning faces towards the real mirror — Self-awareness We are denied worldly experiences ongoing lockdown. But this phase made us dig deep within to feel ourselves.  The deeper we touch, the darker it feels!! But do you know the sunnier part? At least we are facing the real mirror! We are meeting ourselves everyday. We are knowing ourselves more! No matter beautiful or ugly reflects our face in the real mirror of self-awareness, we are experiencing the taste of our company. It is leading to self-acceptance — the foundation of self-love! 4. Inculcating a new interest Earlier we never got this length of me-time. With a lockdown of direct connections with the outside world, the sharpness of the mind has less to dissect. Maybe it’s time for the soul to reach a deeper dimension without self-judgments. Picking up that half-read old book from the shelf, Tuning-in the chords of the broken guitar, Scribbling emotions in our personal diary,  Pursuing the hobby left out of responsibility, Learning different meditation or yoga practices, Let it be anything that pulls our interest! Who knows, we discover an artist within who flares the life-spark rest of our lives. 5. Connection with smiling nature after decades  Neither money is having the last laugh nor the people. It’s nature smiling! We must feel happy for them.  After all this damage, it resurrected! The air turned cleaner; the tress became greener; the water got purer. Guess what? The renewed nature is blessing us with a healthy life! Do we really need anything else? I feel nothing can draw our interest more than getting richer with nature’s wealth. Let’s celebrate nature, preserve the wealth it’s bestowing! 6. Our battle is always in the inside We have been our comparing lives with people, competing against them. Conveniently we have been blaming them for all the wrong happening with us. But about this time, we are not against outside; we are exploring the truth: We have been battling against our illusions. And it is always about the inside! We are meeting our inner critic... the real audience. And it’s an original ball game altogether. No doubt the battle has got tougher but...

Before starting any journey, one has to know the destination.  Without a destination, the voyage is incomplete.  Let us assume that we have a set of skills. However, until we don’t know what to do with those skills, they are good for nothing. It’s like living life without a purpose. Goals are essential to move forward in life. Moreover, they help us in harnessing our energy in the right direction. Subsequently, they result in productivity from our efforts and energy.  Goals help us realize our true potential. We come to know about where we stand today and what needs to be done to raise our standards. A goal not only helps us in measuring our progress but also helps in maintaining our focus. A goal oriented person never gets distracted.  Moreover, when we subdivide our goals into small targets, it excitingly motivates us and keeps up our motivational level. Therefore, it is vital to set a goal and work for it.  

You might face many situations in life where you know that you did well. Also, for that, you seek appreciation from others. You might deserve it, but sometimes you don't get it. It is quite disheartening. Friends, you need to comprehend that it is a cruel world out there. The sooner you realize it, the better it will be for you. Everyone is primarily concerned about themselves. All are busy exploring their ways to healthy and happy living. Nobody is interested in knowing your credentials and achievements. Whatmore, you are also one of them. Moreover, there is no harm in it because life is equally tough for everyone. Therefore, instead of criticizing them, start motivating yourself.  It’s a much-deserved reward after a long, tiring day to remind you that you did great today. It not only uplifts your mood but also enables you to push your limits. It creates a belief of satisfaction and self-confidence. A self -motivated person never looks outside for happiness, as the happiness resides inside them. It is vital to applaud for own-self because you only know how much effort has been put to make things possible. Self-motivation decorates your spirit with strength and self -empowerment. It uplifts you to do things with more vigor and confidence.  It helps you enjoy the success. It also helps you to accept failures, which pushes you to convert that failure into success. Therefore, always treat yourself when you do something good. Keep yourself boosted and motivated. Always keep the spirits high.    

No, you are not. You are just going through a rough phase in your life. Maybe, you are overthinking in matters which do not require much of your attention. It also might be the case that you are going through the process of self-realization and self-actualization. Remember, nothing hits you harder than the process of self-realization and self-actualization. Do not try to overdo things. Do not expect too much out of you. Things will happen. Let it take its time. Everyone has their good and bad times. You need to respect the time zone. Try to indulge in any productive work. It will keep you away from thinking. Remember, most of the times, overthinking because of idleness is the cause of negativity. It is equally important not to fear the unknown. Welcome it. Don't fight with it; Face it. Apprehensions are also the cause of worry. Always remember that most of the time, the problem is not the Fear, but 'The Fear of Fear.' It is also imperative to take pride in whatever you do. Try to do whatever you feel. Moreover, it is equally important to feel whatever you do. Feelings are the essence of staying happy, which are evoked and revived by mediation. Meditation keeps you away from apprehensions and negative thinking. Moreover, always express whatever you feel. Speak out then and there to flush out negativity. Retaining negative emotions inside you is a definite cause of negativity, where you start taking everything in a wrong sense.