Negativity and Failure

What is depression? While it is common for everyone to surface negative emotions, there are people who face these emotions intensely for an elongated time. Depression is the extreme of mental illness which triggers from a single negative thought and then takes a severe form. It affects both physical and mental health. Sometimes, there is no apparent reason for depression and this makes it even worse. In most cases, it is hard to identify a depressed person. Let us try to figure out the symptoms of depression... 1. Thinking more and feeling less Feel is essential for happiness... Revive the feel! Unnecessary thinking not only leads to negative thinking but also keeps you away from feeling the distinct emotions. 2. Non-awareness in the present moment You are lost in your past or busy thinking about the future. As a result, you don’t feel the now without realizing that real happiness is nowhere except the now. It is independent of the outside world. If your sense organs are not consciously performing the respective roles assigned, you lose the awareness in the present moment. And deny the real happiness. 3. Inability to say no to others You are concerned about pleasing others even at the cost of displeasing yourself. You agree with others even if your inner-self disagrees with it. 4. Waiting for the right moment to be happy You are not happy now. The definition of your happiness depends on people and place. You crave for happiness outside without realizing that it is inside you. 5. Inability to enjoy solitude You don’t enjoy your alone time and fear the loneliness. You are lonely even in a crowd. Find out: How can you convert the feeling of loneliness into solitude? 6. Not content with the possessions and credentials You expect too much out of you and as a result, keep on demeaning yourself. Instead of feeling proud of your achievements, you keep counting your failures. You keep coming hard on yourself, lose self-respect and self-esteem in the process. 7. Comparison and competition with others   Instead of feeling blessed by comparing yourself with the people less privileged than you, the grass on the other side is always greener to you. You tend to attract negative emotions like jealousy and fear in the process, and eventually, begin to call depression. 8. Too much emphasis on physical appearance and physical health You over-think about your physical appearance and physical health so much that it infuses stress and fear. Gradually, you kill the love for yourself. Again, it is a gateway to depression. 9. Severe and frequent mood swings It is common to encounter mood swings. But when you encounter it frequently and abnormally, there is a lot to ponder upon. It is an eminent sign of depression.  10.The illusion of being judged by others You fear the judgments of people and so your subsequent move is according to people. It never allows you to do whatever you feel. You dwell inside others’ aura. 11. An unfresh tired mind You could not feel the freshness of mind even in the mornings. You feel drowsy and your mind is always fatigued for no reason. 12. Habituation to drinking You don’t feel happy unless you...

You might face many situations in life where you know that you did well. Also, for that, you seek appreciation from others. You might deserve it, but sometimes you don't get it. It is quite disheartening. Friends, you need to comprehend that it is a cruel world out there. The sooner you realize it, the better it will be for you. Everyone is primarily concerned about themselves. All are busy exploring their ways to healthy and happy living. Nobody is interested in knowing your credentials and achievements. Whatmore, you are also one of them. Moreover, there is no harm in it because life is equally tough for everyone. Therefore, instead of criticizing them, start motivating yourself.  It’s a much-deserved reward after a long, tiring day to remind you that you did great today. It not only uplifts your mood but also enables you to push your limits. It creates a belief of satisfaction and self-confidence. A self -motivated person never looks outside for happiness, as the happiness resides inside them. It is vital to applaud for own-self because you only know how much effort has been put to make things possible. Self-motivation decorates your spirit with strength and self -empowerment. It uplifts you to do things with more vigor and confidence.  It helps you enjoy the success. It also helps you to accept failures, which pushes you to convert that failure into success. Therefore, always treat yourself when you do something good. Keep yourself boosted and motivated. Always keep the spirits high.    

Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning? Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely. Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally. It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it... My personal realizations: There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion. It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it. You know why I used to get hurt so badly? It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”  I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life. I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic. One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.” The connotation of  "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings" Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you. You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...

Before evaluating the differences, let's find out the similarity between both the attitude.  Did you notice that both the attitude have four consecutive letters in common-'LOSE'? You know what does it mean? It means that both the attitude(loser/nothing to lose) are provoked by a loss. Now, there are two possible conditions involving a loss.  You are on the verge of losing. You have already lost. Subsequently, when you encounter any of the above-mentioned situations,  it provokes either a 'nothing to lose' attitude or you develop a 'loser attitude'.   An example involving sports where you are on the verge of losing... Two players are playing a game of squash inside two different courts.  The game is of 5 sets. Both the players lose the first two sets. Obviously, the recovery seems extremely difficult hereon. Now, let us try to compare and analyze their respective attitude where one develops a loser attitude while the other develops a nothing to lose attitude.  The one with the ‘loser attitude:’ After losing the first two sets out of five, the person with a negative mindset starts considering himself as a loser even before the result of the game. It evokes fear inside him and he begins saying to himself that he cannot win from this particular game-situation. Eventually, he surrenders to a situation and showcases a ‘loser attitude’ in the subsequent game-set. This attitude fails to deliver miserably, no need to mention the outcome. The one with the ‘nothing to lose attitude.’   A person with a positive frame of mind sees things differently. After losing the first two sets, he sets himself free. Even he starts considering himself as a loser but with a different mindset. As soon as he accepts his loss, he starts seeing it as a different ball game altogether. It evokes a fearless attitude within him as he is already considering himself as a loser. He starts feeling that he cannot go down anymore and plays the rest of the game carefree and stress-free. Trust me, most of the times he is able to turn the tables around from nowhere, and an evident lose turns out to be a surprising victory. Let us consider a monetary example where the loss has already occurred: Two businessmen suffered a huge financial loss in their respective trades. The one with a loser attitude: The person with the loser attitude starts feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He is not able to sink that loss inside his mind. As a result, it never lets him overcome that loss or defeat. That fear of losing refrains him from starting again. As a result, he always considers himself a loser.  The one with a nothing to lose attitude: There is the other businessman who considers it as an opportunity, the opportunity to start from scratch, where he cannot go down beyond it. This attitude allows him to realize his mistakes so that he never repeats it again. Time for some Happy Realizations!!! Friends, we all lose on something at some point in time.  But what makes us a loser or winner depends...

"I found that with depression, one of the most important things you could realise is that you're not alone." ~Dwayne Johnson Did you ever bow down to your mind demons? I have... but that experience taught me the best lifetime-lesson. My life was not a fairytale. But fortunately, my fight was never for bread and butter.  I had every means to suffice my materialistic desires. I had beautiful people around in the form of friends and family. But the ironical truth is I was alarmingly sad with no one knowing it. I had droll people around to laugh with but no one to share my gloomy secrets. My outer world was full of light but my inner world was pitch dark. Unable to recognize the cause, I couldn’t express. A brute force struck my head hard now and then. The occasional was turning into chronic breathlessness. I was deserted in the crowd continuously losing my feelings. Life was asking some tough answers, but my restless mind could answer none. Not that I didn’t think of doc-visit. But which doctor — was always in question as I was unable to classify the category under which my problem falls. The idea to share with someone would soon raise questions — Which person? What would I explain? There were many apprehensive dilemmas consuming my head elevating my problem's intensity. I ignored them all for some time but each elapsing moment was not curbing but exasperating my disorientation. Did I seem so normal to my loved ones or they dumb? Am I over-expecting? Have I become a useless attention seeker? Yes... all of this was bruising my mind — the bruises no one saw. Yes... I finally consulted a psychiatrist. It felt like a hapless victim when the doc diagnosed me with persistent depressive disorder — a  type of depression. Mental health awareness — far away from the educated... My suffering could have been diagnosed earlier and averted. But for the lack of mental health awareness in many including me, what I only knew was a mentally ill person is mad. Discussing mental health problems is still a social stigma in most parts of the planet. Moreover, ignorant people use the word depression so often that the ones who are suffering from it cannot address it. It lays the foundation for a quandary for the one facing it. People are unable to open up about their mental wounds.  Even if they try to express, their words are trespassers to people’s ears. As a result, mind demons never allow the covered wounds to heal. Even the anti-depressants couldn’t revive my feelings... The prescribed pills were more of sedatives and the only positive I could extract — there were no more sleepless nights. But again, I dozed off irregularly for an unusually long period, sometimes twelve hours at a stretch.  It was all bleak with no sense of recovery. And in case you don’t know: Happiness is a feeling. So literally I was losing the feeling of happiness. I was reduced to mere existence. Whenever I  knocked on the sweet-memory door, it never opened. My condition worsened! A boon in...

In the fight between positivity and negativity, we wish positivity emerges as a winner... always!  Ever wondered why? A general impression of negativity is bad. For this reason, we want to stay away from it. As the grass on the other side looks greener, we end up longing for positivity without realizing what feeling negative can offer.   What is feeling negative? Is negativity as bad as you think? When I say feeling negative, I mean feeling the most common negative emotion affecting most of us — Sadness. You won’t deny wherever there is negativity because of any reason, we feel sad by default. And if you think feeling negative is bad, let me tell you it’s not. Be it a health issue, monetary loss, an adverse relationship, negativity is an alert notifying something is wrong which needs a fix. In fact, feeling negative bestows you with life experiences which teaches you profound life lessons. Don’t believe me? Here’s more courage to you: “The key to happiness - or that even more desired thing, calmness - lies not in always thinking happy thoughts. No. That is impossible. No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. They key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don’t become them. Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person.” ― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive Allow me to share: 5 positive lessons from Feeling Negative Negativity unleashes the other side —  Positivity Ever wondered why is seesaw-ride enjoyable?  The rider doesn’t hold on to either of the highs or lows of the ride for too long. Or else the ride gets boring. Life is no different. It’s an emotional seesaw ride switching ends — from positivity to negativity and negativity to positivity. And life goes on! Where's the problem? Most of us ignore the fact feeling negative is as real as death. For instance— when we suffer a failure, a criticism, a bully, a loss...it's natural to experience negative emotions. But because of ignorance, we do not accept negativity. What I mean by non-acceptance is we quickly look for solutions to escape without analyzing the whys and hows of feeling negative. Beware! this approach sinks your ship soon. You cannot identify the reasons for feeling negative. What worse, other negative emotions invade in the shelter already created by the mind. Eventually, negativity becomes an integral part of us and positivity becomes a fantasy, an untouched dream. This way, neither you allow negativity to teach you a life-lesson, nor you taste positivity. Is this what you want? Well... surely not! What you need to know: Everyone is on the same leaky boat. Negative feelings hit everyone now and then. It is as customary as going to the loo. So just take it easy and respect the natural phenomena. Keep in mind, only the acceptance of negativity enables you to unlock the solutions to get out of it. Yes... only when you accept the pain, you’ll find the pain relievers. Please stop fighting...

My dear friend, starting from head-tail, good-evil, right-wrong, everything is double-faced. Even a story or a debate has two angles. And you know what, we, the humans are no different. The fact which we all need to get acquainted with is that we have two bulls inside us fighting with each other. Let’s find out who wins? Naturally, our physical body needs food. It is the food we eat which keeps us up and running. Without a second thought, food is the fuel for the physical body. But one thing to observe is the food we eat, the diet we follow is our choice… healthy or unhealthy? And there is a difference in how we feel following either of the diets. While healthy food makes us feel fresh and energy-boosted, the unhealthy food lowers our energy and freshness level. No brainer, you know these things, but there is a reason I am saying this... My dear friend, much like our physical body, which runs on what we eat, our mental body runs on what we feed. I’ll come straight to the point, there are two bulls inside our mind. These bulls feed on two different feeds. Interestingly, only one feed is available at a point. As a result, one bull is always hungry, and the other bull is always full. And so, the fight is always on between the two to get their respective feed. Who are these bulls? Why do they fight? What is their food? Why can’t we feed them together? What is the source of their food? These might be some of your questions seeking answers.  Yes, now the time has come to meet both the bulls... Let us meet the first bull: This bull is always happy, positive, compassionate, cheerful, stress-free, high on inner-self attributes, and hence high on life. I call it the Saint’s bull, which is always hungry for positive emotions. It feeds on joy, gratitude, pride, love which it attracts from the outside world. We can say it is the healthy food which the saint’s bull craves for!!! Let us meet the second bull: This bull inside us is always sad, angry, frustrated, low in inner-self attributes, and hence is depressed all the time. I call it a Demon’s bull, which is always hungry for negative emotions. This bull feeds on hatred, stress, jealousy which it attracts from the outside world. We can conclude that it is the unhealthy food which the demon’s bull craves for!!! Now, when we have met both the bulls, let’s talk about the availability of feed for the bulls.  Situations providing food to the Saint’s bull: The arrival of a newborn Monetary gains and profits Job promotion Success in any competitive field Accomplishment of goals A celebration party These are some situations from our personal and professional sphere in which the saint’s bull gets the feed from the outside world. This is why we feel happy and joyous in these situations. Let us find out the instances which provide food to the demon’s bull: Loss of life of a loved one Monetary Losses Failure in a competition Embarrassments and Criticisms In these situations, the only feed available from...

"Whatever goes around comes around." Yes, it is the bottom-line of Karma. Karma is our action or deed; no matter how small or big. Whatever we do, has an objective behind it. Karma also deals with that objective. If we do something good to others but it has an evil intention behind it, then according to karma, it is wrong. Likewise, if we make a mistake but the objective behind it is pure and pious, then karma treats you accordingly. Let us take an example. If we steal a coin and give it to a beggar who is in need, the motive behind it is compassion. Here, the act of helping overpowers the act of stealing. Therefore, whatever we do, it should have a noble intention behind it. It is what "Karma" teaches us.    

Have you been hunting for ways to transform into a happier self? It is time to call shots and make some big changes in life.  Well, little did you know but creating a happy bubble around you is easy-peasy. The secret lies in unleashing the potential in you so that you become your best version. Kiss goodbye to anxiety because happiness is not hard-found. Being happy is easier than you think.  So, are you great at chalking out plans and strategies but not quite efficient in implementing them? No problem! Digging into the best of self-improvement books can help you rule out every little hurdle, standing in the way of you and a good life. Believe it or not but self-help books work like magic. Taking cues from the insights shared by the greatest minds in the world, reading lines that are inspiring and healing and getting a hang of simple, developmental exercises, the perks of engaging in self-improvement books are way more than you can imagine.  Wondering where to start? Don’t worry because here’s a curated list of 10 best self-improvement books of 2020 Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert If you’ve been dreaming of taking pleasure in a fairytale life, Big Magic is a must-read. The author has splendidly jotted down stories, spilling beans about her experiences with magic and creativity. Read more to find out what makes her life so much happy and fulfilling. Buy Now Here - Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear   Time Management Secrets by Martin Manser Do you struggle to execute a job perfectly when your plate is too full? Well, Time Management Secrets is a winning aid for you. Explore the fundamentals of time management and give your career the much-needed wings. Read about the ways of strategizing and recognizing your priorities. The book includes priceless words of wisdom from experts in business circles. Learn the ropes of necessary work ethics, analyze the importance of communication and every other knick-knack, important to hit the easy-street.  Buy Now Here : Time Management: Collins Business Secrets   Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis Is your life topsy-turvy? Well, Rachel Hollis is here to tell you that it is okay to have a messy life. However, to make it a joyful space and make life a smooth-sailing, one must get over the bait of procrastinating and lying to oneself. It is a big hurdle that does a lot of damage. Girl Wash Your Face is a book that enlightens you about the 20 odd lies, people love telling themselves to procrastinate and hold back.  Buy Now Here : Girl, Wash Your Face   Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes Shonda Rimes is not an unknown name if you loved to binge-watch shows like ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ The book is not a fancy tenement of tricks and tips for a better life. Instead, Rimes highlights the changes she witnessed after she said ‘YES’ for a year. It is a chronicle of episodes that only got better when she started nodding ‘YES’ for everything in life. Her...

Life is not a race and hence not a competition you can define by winning or losing. It’s an exploration journey, it’s your exploration journey where you are the lone traveller. And because you are alone in your journey, there is no one with whom you can compete and compare with, except one person... yourself.  Someone has rightly said: “If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter, But if You continuously compete with yourself, you become better.”  But are you realizing it? The biggest hindrances restricting self-development today are nothing but comparison and competition with others, without realizing that it is impossible. This is where the problem lies where life-journey becomes a never-ending struggle!!! Be it... a science-subject -scorecard or a cricket-run-scorecard... a debate or an entrance exam... for a government job or a private job... for money or for a position... the physical looks or mental looks... You are competing, not with oneself but with others. Even in the personal sphere... be it the parents, or be it the children... be it the siblings, be it the friends... everyone is competing with each other. It is a sad state but yes, it is happening. And this is what you need to get rid off... But before we move on to the solutions, do you know there are two journeys you are traveling? Yes...you read it right! Your journey is not confined to your out-world travel, but also your in-world travel. Out-world and In-world travel... sounds strange, huh?  So allow me to talk about both the journeys for a better understanding: When we talk about the out-world journey, it begins as soon as you step out of your home. You go to different places, be it your workplace or a hangout place, you are always traveling on your out-world journey. Even the distance you travel to reach these destinations are a part of this journey. During this journey, one thing for sure is that you see new faces and meet new people in your personal and professional spheres. And as soon as you meet them, the first thing your mind does is that it judges them. Those judgments are sometimes out of insecurities, sometimes out of dominance; sometimes out of inferiorities, sometimes out of superiorities; sometimes based on physical appearance and sometimes based on mental appearance. These judgments initiate comparisons where you compare yourself to others. And this comparison gives way to competitions with them. I am sorry but this is happening to most of us. But let me tell that if you are competing with others in your out-world journey, it means you are not traveling well in your in-world journey. My dear friend, it’s time to unveil your in-world journey ...the journey that sets the foundation of your out-world journey, the journey which you don’t travel well. Your in-world journey is nothing but your journey within yourself. It is your self-exploration journey in which you get to know yourself bigger and better. This journey is a gateway to self-realization and self-actualization.  Your in-world journey enables you to explore your positives-negatives, strengths-weakness, comfort-fear, and many other inner-self attributes. You need to travel well in this journey to...