When people don’t fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative. Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations?
Why do you expect and from whom do you expect?
In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation.
Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish.
Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection.
Let’s say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations.
The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations?
The never-ending expectation process:
Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day.
Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people.
You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them.
In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.
Let me bombard a few questions on you…
If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations?
Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it.
Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong.
Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental eyes?
Stop playing the blame game and start playing the game by yourself for yourself. Expectations are your dependency which restricts you from realizing your self-worth. Sometimes, it also holds you from pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone.
My dear friend, your expectations are not always wrong. You can expect from the individuals for whom you radiate love and esteem. It is reasonable to expect from people whom you help when in need and hence, the anticipation of the reciprocation.
However, it is not the expectation, but the intensity of expectation, which is the cause of the problem. It is the extremity of your expectations from others, which is the reason behind the negative emotions led by the unfulfilled expectations.
A hard realization…
If your unfulfilled expectation from others hurt, it implies your feeling towards them is conditional. Yes, that is why you are putting conditions to return the favor.
One thing you need to comprehend is was it your voluntary decision to do things or shed positive emotions for them, why are you expecting the reciprocation from them now? Those people are not your debtors who owe you back the same in return with interest.
Do not raise the vigor of your expectations from people where you…
- become totally dependent on them and you begin to lose your own self.
- strangle them by your expectations.
- try to take unreasonable advantage of them as you cognize that they won’t revolt.
- either infuse negativity inside yourself or them.
- stop pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone.
- lose them because of your unreasonable expectations not getting realized by them.
Summon into minds that nobody owes you anything. You look for shelters only when the foundation of your dwelling is weak and fragile. It raises a big question on your competence to solve your problems.
Conditional relations demand expectations, unconditional relations seek love. Don’t lose your near and dear ones by your false and undue expectations. Always be hopeful but at the same time, be ready to face the wrath of the worst.
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.