Negativity and Failure

‘The bad taste to the tongue is always good for health’. It is a common psyche we inherit from our ancestors and parents. But I am sorry not in this case, not in the case of alcohol. Alcohol tastes bad and is bad for health too!!! A few studies claim if you have it in moderate quantities, it is good for your body. But in this article, it is not the body I am concerned about... the subject in question is ‘THE MIND.’ And if the mind gets affected, the mind-body balance also gets affected.  Sink into your mind that mental health is the controller of the entire human system. And the body cannot be healthy without a healthy mind. And did we say ‘moderate quantity’? Do we mean it? Let us talk practically. How many of the drinkers seriously know the meaning of responsible drinking or moderate drinking? And even if they know it, how many alcohol drinkers follow it?  Let me present a fact before you as a testimony. Deaths caused because of alcohol worldwide is 3.3 million(approx) every year.   Don’t you think the definition of ‘moderate’ in case of alcohol is subjective? My dear friend... the effects and after-effects of alcohol are not the same on everyone’s body and mind. If we talk about the mind, a person gets high in one drink while the other needs a bottle to reach the same state. In the case of the body, metabolism has a major role to play how everybody digests alcohol. And the metabolism of every individual is different. Even in the case of hangovers, a couple of drinks can cause hangover to a person while a person who gulped half a bottle last night wakes up fresh today. If we refer to the scientific studies, two drinks in men and one drink in a woman daily can be good for one’s health. Sorry, but I don’t agree with it. Which health are they talking about... physical or mental, it is not clear? And even if we assume that they are referring to both the health aspects, don’t you think this finding is impractical?  If you ask me, I  say this finding is subjective. Maybe an occasional single drink is harmful to me but your health permits you to have three drinks daily. Maybe you follow a healthy diet so your health allows you to have it. And my diet is full of junky fats, and a single drink can be disastrous. It is different in case of every individual. Even if we talk about the transformation within a person, a daily drinker who gets high in one drink today might need two drinks to reach the same state after a month. And the level seeking the same intoxication might reach to four after a year. The quota keeps on increasing. And now if you ask me who is an alcoholic? Straight out, if you are a daily drinker, I shall call you an alcoholic. Because rarely people stick to the fixed daily count. I know, you are not liking this article if you are a...

Do you fear friends or colleagues will find out you are not as worthy as they think? Or you feel your success (irrespective big or small) was a fluke and people will soon find out you are a fraud? Don't worry it's the Impostor Syndrome where you feel like a fraudulent, a pretender, a hoaxer (which you are not). Approximately 70 percent of people will experience at least one episode of impostor syndrome in their lives. What's Impostor Syndrome? Why is it vicious? Often spelled as Imposter, feeling an Impostor is incompetence to deal with your imperfections and perform at the highest standards you set for yourself. It’s like riding high on egomania while enjoying success and then sliding down to fear of being called a cheater or a fraud. You feel like a loser irrespective how successful you are. It makes you incapable to focus on your current work, living in obscurity, not opening up to new opportunities. Rewards and Recognition do more harm than good where you feel you cannot justify your credentials in the upcoming project, and you fear people will know about your incompetence. The feeling of an Impostor kills creativity where you are constantly self-judging. You are too hard on yourself overthinking about people’s opinion of you.  It retracts you from the present moment, discharging the concentration, denting your flow, and jolts your personal and professional growth.  The good news is that you are not alone! Celebrity quotes on Impostor Syndrome: When I was younger, I just did it. I just acted. It was just there. So now when I receive recognition for my acting, I feel incredibly uncomfortable. I tend to turn in on myself. I feel like an impostor. It was just something I did. —Emma Watson    Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud. —Kate Winslet   No matter what we've done, there comes a point where you think, 'How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me? —Tom Hanks     I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out. —Maya Angelou  My Encounter with Impostor Syndrome  Insightful publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain, Purpose fairy, Dumb Little Man published my articles. I received accolades for these, including some of my works published on my blog. Why am I bragging? The critic appreciation prod to deliver more, as I began expecting too much out of myself. I started fearing people’s eyes, thinking about them, all of it abstaining from workflow, diminishing my quality of work, questioning my talent and abilities. I could not write, unable to get rid of the perfectionist inside me self-judging constantly. My creativity fired many times, soon to nosedive into a polluted pool of uncertainties. I could not do love doing most — Expressing my thoughts and emotions. And that led to Impostor Syndrome where there were dilemmas and ambiguity, causing fear and my lower self cried: People will...

Did you ever feel depressed? If you have, you know there are many medicinal drugs available which we call the anti-depressants. My encounter with depression I was under the influence of depression medication for 5 years. One day I realized those anti-depressants have stopped soothing my mind. And I was in desperate need of permanent solutions. I asked myself: What is the best way to overcome depression naturally? How can I overcome depression without medication naturally?  I  even tried connecting to people whom I thought would comprehend my disorientation to thoughts and emotions. I was not too late to realize: Though it's easy to give theoretical pieces of advice on how to overcome depression, it looks impossible when it comes to its practical implementation. The person who never felt depressed at any point cannot guide you with the remedies to overcome depression. Therefore, it becomes imperative to express yourself to a person who can completely comprehend what you are going through. Bits of advice like try to be happy and stay away from negativity can do more harm than good to you. That's because these suggestions indicate the person cannot feel even 1 percent of your plight. Every depressed person is aware of these bits of advice the question remains 'How?' Here, I shall share a few practices which I followed in my gloomy past and came out of it strong. 14 ways to overcome depression naturally Meditate It is the best way to overcome depression naturally. To be honest, until my mind tasted the meditated feel, this technique sounded very boring to me. Always thought it was a waste of time but once I started practicing it, it was a magical feeling which I had never experienced before. Want to know the best part? I slowly revived my lost feel which made me realize the true meaning of being aware in the present moment.  Check out: 8 meditation techniques for complete beginners Follow compassion Helping others and bringing a smile to the faces of unfortunate people is the best you can bring a smile to your face. Don't believe me? Try it. If you are capable enough to feed the emotional or financial pain of people, never hold back. Trust me, Compassion is a gateway to the feeling of contentment, which is one of the best counter-attacks of depression. Listen to upbeat music It is one of the simplest ways to overcome depression naturally. Music is the food for the soul. Listening to cheerful music not only uplifts the mood but always keeps you away from thoughts. And once you start thinking less, the mind cuts the chords with depressive thoughts.  Eat healthy to feel healthy Your mental health is deeply connected to your physical health. Enrich your diet with food high in unsaturated fat like omega3. And did anyone tell you about the miracle ingredient turmeric? Never ignore its remarkable powers working as antidepressants. Please stay away from alcohol—the silent killer. It is an elusive stress buster. Not only it harms your physical health, but it also ruins your mental health as well. Accept yourself the way you are  Keep reminding yourself you are a beautiful soul. So please be good to yourself.  You need to realize quickly that everyone is wired differently and...

Everyone feels happy doing different things. But the basis of happiness remains the same for everyone.  My dear friend,  Happiness is awareness and appreciation of the present moment! Whatever we do, if we can pay kind attention to the present, with an attitude of non-judgment, it bestows with happiness. We feel blessed and appreciate everything, and are less prone to stress and negativity.  A beautiful observation by Gautama Buddha... “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  Better said than done Everyone encounters many moments when we feel like running away from our present. Some situations are hostile, some moments are just not worth feeling them. If we feel them, we stress more, we agonize more.  I’m sure you can relate to any of the following hostile moments. How can we: feel happy in the present when we are hungry and don’t know the source of the next bread? dwell in the present when we are a failure today? enjoy the present seeing a handicapped beggar lying down on the side street? extract happiness from the surroundings when rapes and killings are happening around? feel the present when we lose a family member in a sudden demise? Seriously, why will we make our lives tougher living in the present when feeling it is already tough?  If this is what you are wondering, let me tell you that your curiosities have landed on the right harbor. Let’s unlock To begin, let me bombard a few questions on you. Were you happy when there was no reason to feel sad? Were you free flowing when life was fair? Was there no ego in your competition before? Were you cheerful when the situations were not adverse? Did you enjoy nature when everything around seemed beautiful? Were you high on life or high on success - if ever it was? Did you forgive your loved ones when they were alive? If you ask me ‘Why feel the present moment when it’s hostile’, I ask you… ‘Did you feel the present moment when it was unhostile?’ I’m sorry but my question is mightier than yours. And it’s taking you to a deep self-analysis, your feelings get hurt. You know why? It’s because you are guilty of playing the blame game on people and situations. And now finding it hard to take the onus on yourself. Now let’s talk about the solution for which we are here. Why feel the present moment when it is hostile? My dear, it’s easy to blame life, situations, people as per your convenience but what’s tough is to bother least about the outside. It’s easy to run from the present, but what’s hard is to stay there even in unfavorable situations. In reality, you cannot escape reality. No matter how hard you run, it soon catches up with your speed, this time with a harder intensity.  Turning away from challenging life by taking the help of medication and intoxication is not a solution either. It calms a few moments but these are not the solutions, just the momentary illusions. Please stop creating your parallel world by opting...

Yes, it is your judgmental eyes which inflicts unbearable pain, which makes me suffer like a loser. It's because you judge me by my smile without realizing the burden of tears I am carrying. Your eyes can only see my physical wounds, but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I wish you could hear the cries of mental wounds...  You know my problem?  I have not attained that level where I stop getting affected by judgments and opinions about me. Yes, assuredly, I shall reach there one day but for God's sake, please stop until then. I know that I don't have a strong dwelling of my aura where I can reside, but why aren't you allowing me to create a foundation of my aura? Why are you enforcing your aura on me? I'm not asking you to stop judging me, I know you don't have this ability. What I'm requesting you is to judge me only after stepping into my shoes.  Wow..what an irony...instead of pushing me back to life, you are pushing me to death. And the father of all ironies is that you still claim that you care about me. I won't surrender to the situation and commit suicide, but do you just feel that you are responsible for instigating suicidal thoughts inside me. Please try to understand that I am already fighting an intense battle with my capabilities, I am already bleeding so why do you want to bleed me to death? I'm already burning so please stop adding fuel to that fire!!! Don't you dare to perceive it as your dominance over me. I'm getting affected by you because of reasons I'm not sure you would want to hear. But if you are courageous enough, let me clear out the reasons behind my sufferings... I'm tolerating this suffocation because you matter to me...your opinions, your comments, your observations, your judgments regarding me matters to me, it all matters to me. I cannot turn my back on you, I cannot run away from you, I cannot part my ways with you. It is because I care for you, I'm attached to you, and so I don't want to hurt you. But you are not stopping!!! Your judgmental eyes and judgmental lies   are choking my breath. And if this is what you have to offer, I'm sorry but you are forcing me to become you. And my dear, if I become like you, not sure whether you would be able to withstand my honesty. Beware...it is my respect for you talking thus far!!! But if you are not stopping here, then I don't find any option than to be brutal!!! And if you really want to know the reason behind the discrepancy between my physical and mental appearance, be patient...I would uncover my feelings as slowly as I could so that you taste every bit of what I'm going through. Instead of asking me what is wrong, you always call me wrong. Please stop stating the obvious because I was not the same some time back. But did you bother to know the reason?  And when you are judging me through...

What is depression? While it is common for everyone to surface negative emotions, there are people who face these emotions intensely for an elongated time. Depression is the extreme of mental illness which triggers from a single negative thought and then takes a severe form. It affects both physical and mental health. Sometimes, there is no apparent reason for depression and this makes it even worse. In most cases, it is hard to identify a depressed person. Let us try to figure out the symptoms of depression... 1. Thinking more and feeling less Feel is essential for happiness... Revive the feel! Unnecessary thinking not only leads to negative thinking but also keeps you away from feeling the distinct emotions. 2. Non-awareness in the present moment You are lost in your past or busy thinking about the future. As a result, you don’t feel the now without realizing that real happiness is nowhere except the now. It is independent of the outside world. If your sense organs are not consciously performing the respective roles assigned, you lose the awareness in the present moment. And deny the real happiness. 3. Inability to say no to others You are concerned about pleasing others even at the cost of displeasing yourself. You agree with others even if your inner-self disagrees with it. 4. Waiting for the right moment to be happy You are not happy now. The definition of your happiness depends on people and place. You crave for happiness outside without realizing that it is inside you. 5. Inability to enjoy solitude You don’t enjoy your alone time and fear the loneliness. You are lonely even in a crowd. Find out: How can you convert the feeling of loneliness into solitude? 6. Not content with the possessions and credentials You expect too much out of you and as a result, keep on demeaning yourself. Instead of feeling proud of your achievements, you keep counting your failures. You keep coming hard on yourself, lose self-respect and self-esteem in the process. 7. Comparison and competition with others   Instead of feeling blessed by comparing yourself with the people less privileged than you, the grass on the other side is always greener to you. You tend to attract negative emotions like jealousy and fear in the process, and eventually, begin to call depression. 8. Too much emphasis on physical appearance and physical health You over-think about your physical appearance and physical health so much that it infuses stress and fear. Gradually, you kill the love for yourself. Again, it is a gateway to depression. 9. Severe and frequent mood swings It is common to encounter mood swings. But when you encounter it frequently and abnormally, there is a lot to ponder upon. It is an eminent sign of depression.  10.The illusion of being judged by others You fear the judgments of people and so your subsequent move is according to people. It never allows you to do whatever you feel. You dwell inside others’ aura. 11. An unfresh tired mind You could not feel the freshness of mind even in the mornings. You feel drowsy and your mind is always fatigued for no reason. 12. Habituation to drinking You don’t feel happy unless you...

"Whatever goes around comes around." Yes, it is the bottom-line of Karma. Karma is our action or deed; no matter how small or big. Whatever we do, has an objective behind it. Karma also deals with that objective. If we do something good to others but it has an evil intention behind it, then according to karma, it is wrong. Likewise, if we make a mistake but the objective behind it is pure and pious, then karma treats you accordingly. Let us take an example. If we steal a coin and give it to a beggar who is in need, the motive behind it is compassion. Here, the act of helping overpowers the act of stealing. Therefore, whatever we do, it should have a noble intention behind it. It is what "Karma" teaches us.    

The past is gone; The future is unpredictable. What you have and what you can control right now is your present. It is imperative to feel it to enjoy it. As they say, time and tide wait for none; likewise, you should appreciate the present moment rather than making a hue and cry of your past or worrying about the future. On the contrary, what you do is either you ponder upon your past, or you are busy making plans for future. As a result, you neglect to feel the essence of the present moment.You need to realize that 'now' is the moment to cherish. These small moments in the present moment can only make your life happy. Awareness in the present moment makes every moment memorable in a way where you don't need memories to cherish later. When you enjoy the present, the future is bound to be good. One foot in the past and one foot in the future is just like keeping your feet in two boats and trying to make a balance to stay safe. This way, you will not only hurt yourself but also will lose the precious moments of now. STOP HERE. Take deep breaths. Enjoy the NOW. Don't run away from it. Don't allow your thinking to take control over your feelings. Things will happen. You are neither early nor late. Respect the 'TIME ZONE.' Just flow with each passing moment.  Relax and enjoy the present moment. Learn the art of Meditation to stimulate your feelings, which will keep you away from overthinking. Life is beautiful. Start cherishing every moment now.  

Even if you are not a winner, appear like one. It is one of the most important traits of your personality to lead a healthy life. It is the reflection of your self-belief. A confident person lives far better life than a person with low self- confidence. Well, there are simple things that help in acquiring this particular trait. One is your lifestyle. Most of the times, your physical appearance reflects your self-confidence. Now, do not confuse between your looks and appearance. Your looks are not under your control, but you can always monitor the way you appear. Your presence creates your aura, which always has to be compelling to look self-confident. Always keep in mind that an early bird catches the most worms. A fit person appears more confident than others. Therefore, your appearance makes a lot of impact on the people you meet. Moreover, a smile can do wonders. A smile welcomes a smile. A happy person invites others to converse with him/her. Make eye contact and maintain your body posture while talking. You can practice it in front of the mirror. Rest assured, it helps. Moreover, you must know what to speak. Never try to impress others with false statements. At the same time, never try to impose your ideas on others. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.   Be confident in thinking and attitude. Talk to random person whenever you get a chance. Be generous and kind but don’t over apologize. Don’t worry, nobody is perfect, so tie your laces and take on the world.          

Let us define a loss and a failure. The dictionary meaning of loss is “the feeling of grief after losing someone or something of value.” And of a failure is “an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.” The difference seems clear but what’s important is how do you distinguish between the two in your practical lives. It is a sorry state that most of us get affected by an everyday failure like a loss. And this is the reason our natural state has become sadness, not joy. Let us find out what is the problem and how to overcome it... Life is a fairy tale only in storybooks, movies, and dreams. The practicality of real life is a different ball-game altogether. Life isn’t easy by any means. But this is not the problem. The problem is non-acceptance of this fact.  Instead of accepting and appreciating what we have got, the desire to what we can get is taking control. In the process, most of us cannot accept the everyday life failures gracefully, without realizing that failures are inevitable.Not only we get disheartened by everyday failures easily but also get immensely affected by it. We don’t realize that we can overturn or rectify our failures. And so, it must not become a cause of botheration. Some of the everyday failures are failing to: get up early from the bed. score good marks in an exam. beat the opponent in any academic or sports event. pass a driving test. prepare good food. hit the gym. follow a good diet. keep a promise of not intoxicating. reach the destination on time. break the rule made to oneself. stand by a commitment to others. to do many such things. Well, these are some of the everyday failures we can monitor.. But the way we are letting these events impact our lives is undeserved. “Failures are the stepping stone to success”...Yes, this proverb is not new to ears but are we implementing it in our real lives? Tell me, who wants problems but take a minute to think who does not have problems? You are mistaken if you think otherwise seeing a person cheerful. There are many cases where their problems are mightier than yours. But, they are happier than you. They have accepted life gracefully, the reason they are enjoying it. On the contrary, You are stuck to things which do not deserve to be a cause of botheration. I dread to think if this is how we feel every day when life is fair, how will we feel in case of a loss which cannot be overturned. I am afraid that we all face such a situation at least once in our life-span. So tell me, how will you overcome that loss if this is your approach to a fairly beautiful life. Let us now move one step further to talk about a loss... We lose: Relationships Money Power or Position Over and above all...Life of our loved ones Well, even the first 3 losses can be controlled or rectified in due course. We can rectify relationships, re-earn the lost money, regain power/position.  But...