Let us define a loss and a failure.
The dictionary meaning of loss is “the feeling of grief after losing someone or something of value.”
And of a failure is “
The difference seems clear but what’s important is how do you distinguish between the two in your practical lives. It is a sorry state that most of us get affected by an everyday failure like a loss. And this is the reason our natural state has become sadness, not joy.
Let us find out what is the problem and how to overcome it…
Life is a fairy tale only in storybooks, movies, and dreams. The practicality of real life is a different ball-game altogether. Life isn’t easy by any means. But this is not the problem. The problem is non-acceptance of this fact.
Instead of accepting and appreciating what we have got, the desire to what we can get is taking control. In the process, most of us cannot accept the everyday life failures gracefully, without realizing that failures are inevitable.
Not only we get disheartened by everyday failures easily but also get immensely affected by it. We don’t realize that we can overturn or rectify our failures. And so, it must not become a cause of botheration.
Some of the everyday failures are failing to:
- get up early from the bed.
- score good marks in an exam.
- beat the opponent in any academic or sports event.
- pass a driving test.
- prepare good food.
- hit the gym.
- follow a good diet.
- keep a promise of not intoxicating.
- reach the destination on time.
- break the rule made to oneself.
- stand by a commitment to others.
- to do many such things.
Well, these are some of the everyday failures we can monitor.. But the way we are letting these events impact our lives is undeserved.
“Failures are the stepping stone to success”…Yes, this proverb is not new to ears but are we implementing it in our real lives? Tell me, who wants problems but take a minute to think who does not have problems? You are mistaken if you think otherwise seeing a person cheerful.
There are many cases where their problems are mightier than yours. But, they are happier than you. They have accepted life gracefully, the reason they are enjoying it.
On the contrary, You are stuck to things which do not deserve to be a cause of botheration. I dread to think if this is how we feel every day when life is fair, how will we feel in case of a loss which cannot be overturned.
I am afraid that we all face such a situation at least once in our life-span. So tell me, how will you overcome that loss if this is your approach to a fairly beautiful life. Let us now move one step further to talk about a loss…
- Power or Position
- Over and above all…Life of our loved ones
Well, even the first 3 losses can be controlled or rectified in due course. We can rectify relationships, re-earn the lost money, regain power/position. But what we cannot overturn is the final loss…The loss of life.
The end of life is a chapter which cannot be overturned and hence the biggest loss one can face. None can predict the time of its realization, nobody can control it. Losing life is an inevitable truth. And no wonder, to deal with the pain inflicted by this loss is unbearable.
Every time we face such a situation, it becomes virtually impossible to move on.
But have you ever realized that we are fully in control of the state of affairs until that loss has occurred?
Are we doing justice to our relationships when they are with us?
Are we doing justice to ourselves?
Are we living when we are alive?
A few heartfelt realizations…
How deeply do we connect with the life lessons of Late Sir Steve Jobs? Or how worthy do we find the last letter of a person on his deathbed? Do you know why do you get heart-broken reading it?
It is because you feel every word of those life-lessons. You know those are the things even you are missing. Then why do you allow the effect of those realizations to fade away?
My dear friend, please don’t wait to lie down on your deathbed to realize the essence of life, which is Happiness. Do not wait for that loss to make you realize how beautiful life is. Eliminate all the possibilities of ‘I wish I could have’ and live every moment right now. Never leave any space for regrets to cry over it in the future.
Time for some Happy Realizations…
A journey where most of us are…
struggling to deal with everyday problems,
stressed for no reason,
calling everyday failures as our biggest problem,
Let us dare to imagine what a loss can do to our spirits!!!
Please stop getting affected by everyday struggle like an irreversible loss. Let us not wait for that irreversible loss to differentiate between the intensity of pain.
God forbid, suppose we surface that loss which is bound to inflict unbearable pain. I know theoretical pieces of advice are not the pain-relievers but at least let us talk about it. Let us try to ease that pain.
But before finding out the ways to get over an irreversible loss, let us find the reason for that never-ending pain.
There might be two reasons we get shattered by a loss of life:
- The departed soul is extremely close to us.
- We didn’t express our adored feelings to them.
Considering the first reason, there is nothing much we can do about it. The foremost truth about ‘Life’ is ‘Death.’ The sooner we accept it, the stronger we shall become. Better said than done, ‘Acceptance’ is a process and not a one-day phenomenon. It takes time. But always remember that acceptance minimizes the suffering. ‘Acceptance of pain itself is a pain reliever.’
Moving on to the next reason, we can bail ourselves from the guilt by ‘Expressing.’
Let us not wait for
1. the right moment to express our positive emotions towards them.
2. that loss to realize their value in our lives.
Let us not make our lives a living hell all by ourselves.
I understand how difficult it is to deal with the pain from a life-loss. But this is how life is.
Let us realize that the everyday problems are part and parcels of life. We must stop looking at it as a ‘mountain to climb.’ Let us not wait for a loss in our lives to realize it. And to relieve the pain from a loss, love them when they are alive today in a way that even if we lose them tomorrow, there is no room for any guilt or regret.
Yes mate, never subject your happiness to reasons… Take care!!!
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.