Let us define a loss and a failure in the first place.
The dictionary meaning of loss is “the feeling of grief after losing someone or something of value.”
And of a failure is “
The difference seems evident but what’s important is how do you distinguish between the two in your practical lives. It is a sorry state that most of us get affected by an everyday failure like a loss. And this is the reason why our natural state has become sadness, not joy.
Let us find out what is the problem and how to overcome it…
Life is a fairy tale only in storybooks, movies, and dreams. The practicality of real life is a different ball-game altogether. Life isn’t easy by any means. But this is not the problem.
The actual problem is non-acceptance of this fact. Instead of accepting and appreciating what we have got, the desire to what we can get is taking control. And in the process, most of us are not able to accept the everyday life failures gracefully, without realizing that failures are inevitable.
We get disheartened quickly by everyday failures and get affected by it immensely. We don’t realize that these events can be overturned or rectified. And so, it must not bother us deeply.
Yes, this is the motivation which should always keep us moving positively…that the failures can be overturned or rectified unlike a loss of life.
Some of the everyday failures are failing to:
- get up early from the bed.
- score good marks in an exam.
- beat the opponent in any academic or sports event.
- pass a driving test.
- prepare good food.
- hit the gym.
- follow a good diet.
- keep a promise of not intoxicating.
- reach the destination on time.
- break the rule made to oneself.
- stand by a commitment to others.
- to do many such things.
Well, these are some of the everyday failures which can be regulated and measured. But the way we are letting these events impact our lives is undeserved and uncalled.
“Failures are the stepping stone to success”…Yes, this proverb is not new to ears but are we really implementing it in our real lives? Tell me, who wants problems but take a minute to think who does not have problems? You are mistaken if you think otherwise seeing a person happy or cheerful.
There are many cases where his/her problems are mightier than yours but they are happier than you. The reason is simple. They have accepted life the way it is and it is the reason why they are enjoying it.
On the contrary, you are stuck to things which do not deserve to be a cause of botheration. I dread to think if this is how we feel every day when life is fair, how will we feel in case of a loss which cannot be overturned.
I am afraid that we all face such a situation at least once in our life-span. So tell me, how will you overcome that loss if this is your approach to a fairly beautiful life. Let us now move one step further to talk about a loss…
- Power or Position
- Over and above all…Life of our loved ones
Considering the first three instances, even these losses can be controlled or rectified in due course. Relationships can be rectified, Money can be re-earned, Power or Position can also be regained. But what cannot be overturned is the final loss…The loss of life.
The end of life is a chapter which cannot be overturned and hence, its the biggest loss one can ever face. Neither anybody can predict the time of its realization nor anybody can control it. The loss of life is an inevitable truth. And no wonder, to deal with that pain is unbearable.
Every time we face such a situation, it becomes virtually impossible to move on. But have you ever realized that we are fully in control of the state of affairs till that loss has occurred? Are we doing justice to our relationships when they are with us? Most importantly, are we doing justice to ourselves? Are we really living when we are alive?
A few heartfelt realizations…
How deeply do we connect with the life lessons of Late Sir Steve Jobs? Or how worthy do we find the last letter of a person on his deathbed? Do you know why do you get heart-broken reading it?
It is because you feel every word of those life-lessons. You know that those are the things even you are missing. But then why do you allow the effect of those realizations to fade away quickly?
My dear friend, please don’t wait to lie down on your deathbed to realize the essence of life, which is Happiness. Let us not wait for that loss to make us realize how beautiful life is. Let us eliminate all the possibilities of ‘I wish I could have’ and start living every moment right now. Let us not leave any space for regrets to cry over it in the future.
Time for some Happy Realizations…
In a journey where most of us are struggling to find ways to deal with the everyday problems; in the world where most of us are stressed and depressed without any reason; in the life expedition where most of us are calling the everyday failures as our biggest problem, let us dare to imagine what a loss can do to our spirits.
Please stop getting affected by everyday struggle as deeply as an irreversible loss. Let us not wait for that irreversible loss to happen to differentiate between the intensity of pain.
God forbid, suppose we have surfaced that loss which is bound to inflict unbearable pain. I know theoretical pieces of advice are not the pain-relievers but at least let us talk about it. Let us try to ease that pain.
But before finding out the ways to get over an irreversible loss, let us find the reason for that never-ending pain.
There might be two reasons why we get shattered by a loss of life:
- The departed soul is pretty close to us.
- We don’t express our adored feelings to them which we have towards them.
Considering the first reason, well, there is nothing much we can do about it. The foremost truth about life is ‘Death.’ The sooner we accept this fact, the stronger we shall become. Better said than done, ‘Acceptance’ is a process and not a one-day phenomenon. It takes time. But always remember that acceptance minimizes the suffering. ‘Acceptance of pain itself is a pain reliever.’
Moving on to the next reason, we can try to bail ourselves out from the guilt just by the way of ‘Expressing.’ Let us not wait for the right moment to express our positive emotions towards them heartily, when they are with us. Yes, let us not delay it till that loss, to realize the value of them in our lives. Let us not wait for that moment to happen in this world full of uncertainties. Let us not make our lives a living hell all by ourselves.
I can completely comprehend how difficult it is to deal with the pain from a life-loss. But this is how life is.
We must try to make sure that we don’t repent of remorse and guilt. At least, let us make an attempt to give our best while they are alive. At least let us negate the feeling of never-ending guilt derived out of ‘I wish I could have…’
Let us realize the fact that the everyday problems are part and parcels of life. We must stop looking at it as a ‘mountain to climb.’ Let us not wait for a loss in our lives to realize it. And to relieve the pain from a loss, start loving them when they are alive today in a way that even if we lose them tomorrow, there is no room for any guilt or regret.
Yes mate, feel happy now without any reason…will be back with a fresh realization soon.. Ta-ta.