You might be one of those who confuse between the two feelings.
The reason is simple:
Both the feelings infuse a sense of self-pride.
But trust me, ego and self respect are the two extremes of a single line. Unlocking the mystery is very important.
But before moving to the differences:
Let us get acquainted with the two often confused feelings — Ego and Self Respect:
Ego is a negative feeling. It is a feeling evolved when you deliberately compare yourself with others.
You compare yourself with people smaller or weaker than you in terms of money, power, authority, appearance, anything. You do that to feel superior, bigger and powerful than others.
Self respect, on the other hand, is a positive feeling. It is a feeling of taking pride in what you are and who you are.
Self respect is a sense of a higher being derived when you accept oneself regardless of money, power, position, appearance. It is only connected to oneself. The virtue of self-respect is regardless of people and things.
I love this citation:
“There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.”
—John C. Maxwell
It wonderfully defines the two often confused feelings- Ego and Self Respect.
Let us jump right into the differences:
15 Differences between Ego and Self Respect:
Ego– You respect yourself and the ones whom you consider superior to you.
Self Respect– You respect yourself and everyone, irrespective of their power, money, fame, recognition, anything.
Ego– Me, me and only me… You think only about your self-interest, even if it is at the cost of hurting others. What worse, you don’t even feel guilty for the same.
Self Respect– We, we or after you… You talk about the interests of everyone. You are always conscious of the right and wrong. And you never ever hurt anyone intentionally.
Ego– You always try to compare and compete with others. You want to beat others at any cost.
Self Respect– You never compare yourself with others. You compete only with oneself because of the strive to become a better individual.
Ego– You can do anything, opt for the wrong means, be manipulative just to satisfy your ego.
Self Respect– Your respect for oneself is supreme which stops you from committing to the wrong. Self-respect always encourages you to choose the right way. It motivates you to endure harder by providing inner-strength.
Ego– You fear the outside world — people and situations. The reason is simple: your self-conceit is hollow, and you fear any change from the usual could expose you.
Self Respect– You fear no one and nothing. You have nothing to hide. So you welcome the new because of your positive attitude and self-belief.
Ego– It dwells on the materialistic achievements and alluring drives. When you buy an expensive mobile or a new car, it boosts your ego. You feel superior to others. But when you lose money and power, your ego gets shattered. You are all dependent!
Self Respect– It is an inner virtue which is not fuelled by the materialistic forces. It comes from within and again, you don’t lose your self-respect when you lose the materialistic achievements.
Ego– Ego can fill you with negative emotions deriving out of negative self-pride. These negative emotions are hatred, jealousy, anger, greed, impatience, and the like. As a result, you never hesitate to harm and misuse others.
Self Respect – When you are riding high on self-respect, you love and respect others. You do not harm others, your self-respect will never let you do so. Instead, you help others whenever they need it.
Ego– You have unreasonably high expectations from others. When people fulfill your expectations, you feel positive about them. But they do not fulfill your expectations, you get hurt and feel negative about them. You don’t realize that it is not people’s responsibility to fulfill your expectations.
Self Respect– You don’t bank on people to fulfill your undue expectations. As a result, you never form a negative opinion about anyone.
Ego– You never ask for others’ opinion. According to you, whatever you say is right and whatever you do is the best. You impose your decision on others.
Self Respect– You seek others’ opinion and value it. You never impose your decision on others. And if they have a better solution, you appreciate it. You never find it demeaning about others having a better approach than you.
Ego– People don’t like you and they avoid you. The reason is clear… you are not good with them. They may fear you but trust me, they don’t love you.
Self Respect– You create a positive aura around you. People feel very comfortable with you. Everyone loves you, barring the ones who are egoistic.
Ego– In case of success, you feel that you are the best. There is no one better than you. When you fail, your ego is into bits and pieces. You feel like a loser.
Self Respect– Your self-respect remains indifferent in case of a success or a failure. Failures cannot harm your self-respect. You try to extract success even out of a failure.
Ego – It is a weakness. If you are egoistic, appreciation makes you strong and criticism makes you weak. Yes, you find it extremely difficult to handle criticism.
Self Respect– It is a strength. If you are riding high on self respect, you are indifferent to both appreciation and criticism. You may enjoy appreciation, but you don’t need it. When you are criticized, you try to analyze the reason.
Ego– Your ego never lets you appreciate others for their achievements and credentials. But when it comes to criticizing and blaming others, there is no one better than you.
Self Respect– When you are riding high on self respect, you always appreciate and admire others for their credentials and achievements. You hold back from criticizing others. If you feel someone is wrong, you make them realize their mistakes in a gentle way.
Ego– You are always under the illusion of being judged by others. And you fear people’s judgments. You rely a lot on what people feel about you.
Self Respect– You are only concerned about what you feel about yourself. You are indifferent to people’s judgments. You don’t judge yourself based on their opinions about you.
Ego– It is a vice which makes you greedy, leading to the never-ending desires. These desires refrain you from feeling happiness in the present moment.
Self Respect– It is a virtue which makes you feel blessed and content. Your happiness quotient is always high.
I hope these differences make you realize:
Self Respect is everything!
Time for some Happy Realizations:
Try to recall people whom you denote as ‘down to earth’.
Have you ever tried to analyze why? It’s simple actually: these people are always beautiful regardless of the possessions -money, power, appearance, recognition, any other materialistic belongings.
Unlike egoistic people, they are not show-offs. They are nice to you and respect you. They ask for your opinions, help you whenever you are in need. You are always comfortable when they are around.
Do you know who these people are?
These people are none other than the people riding high on self respect. Self respect is important to them in any and every situation.
Summon to mind the foundation of your respect’s pride is permanent. That’s because it is regardless of any reason.
On the contrary, the foundation of your ego’s pride is temporary. It is because materialistic reasons drive your ego. When the reasons are over, your ego gets shattered. And with that, you are over too.
You see, there is not a thin line of difference between ego and self-respect… It is much more than that. Now, it’s up to you to choose… Ego or Self-respect?