People often confuse whether they are egoistic or riding high on self-respect. You might be one of those many people who confuse between the two feelings.
You confuse because both the feelings infuse a sense of pride for oneself. But trust me, ego and self-respect are the two extremes of a single line.
Unlocking the mystery is very important. And therefore, it is imperative to know the differences. But before moving to the differences, let us get acquainted with both the terms one by one.
Ego is a negative feeling. It is a feeling evolved when you deliberately compare yourself with others. You compare yourself with people smaller or weaker than you in terms of money, power, authority, appearance, anything. The reasons you compare are to feel superior, bigger and powerful than others.
On the other hand, Self-respect is a positive feeling. It is a feeling of taking pride in what you are and who you are. Self-respect is a sense of a higher being derived when you accept oneself regardless of money, power, position, appearance. It is only connected to oneself. The virtue of self-respect is regardless of people and things.
A quote by a famous American Author “John C. Maxwell” says it all…
“There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.”
It wonderfully defines the two often confused feelings- Ego and Self-Respect.
Now, let us explore more differences…
15 Differences between ego and self-respect:
Ego– You respect yourself and the ones whom you consider superior to you.
Self-respect– You respect yourself and everyone, irrespective of their power, money, fame, recognition, anything.
Ego– Me, me and only me… You think only about your self-interest, even if it is at the cost of hurting others. What worse, you don’t even feel guilty for the same.
Self-respect– We, we or after you… You talk about the interests of everyone. You are always conscious of the right and wrong. And you never ever hurt anyone intentionally.
Ego– You always try to compare and compete with others. You want to beat others at any cost.
Self-respect– You never compare yourself with others. You compete only with oneself because of the strive to become a better individual.
Ego– You can do anything, opt for the wrong means, be manipulative just to satisfy your ego.
Self-respect– Your respect for oneself is supreme which stops you from committing to the wrong. Self-respect always encourages you to choose the right way. It motivates you to endure harder by providing inner-strength.
Ego– You fear new people and situations. The reason you fear is you think that the new people or situations could take away the reasons responsible for your negative self-pride.
Self-respect– You fear no one and nothing. Instead, you welcome the new because of your positive attitude and self-belief.
Ego– Ego dwells on the materialistic achievements and drives. When you buy an expensive mobile or a new car, it boosts your ego. You feel superior to others. But when you lose money and power, your ego gets shattered.
Self-respect– Self-respect is an inner virtue which is not fuelled by the materialistic forces. It comes from within and again, you don’t lose your self-respect when you lose the materialistic achievements.
Ego– Ego can fill you with negative emotions deriving out of negative self-pride. These negative emotions are hatred, jealousy, anger, greed, impatience, and the like. As a result, you never hesitate to harm and misuse others.
Self-respect – When you are riding high on self-respect, you love and respect others. You do not harm others, your self-respect will never let you do so. Instead, you help others whenever they need it.
Ego– You have unreasonably high expectations from others. When people fulfill your expectations, you feel positive about them. But they do not fulfill your expectations, you get hurt and feel negative about them. You don’t realize that it is not the responsibility of others to fulfill your expectations.
Self-respect– You don’t have expectations from people. As a result, you don’t lose precious people because of your unreasonable expectations.
Ego– You never ask for others’ opinion. According to you, whatever you say is right and whatever you do is the best. You impose your decision on others.
Self-Respect– You seek others’ opinion and value it. You never impose your decision on others. And if they have a better solution, you appreciate it and follow it. You never find it demeaning that others have a better approach than you.
Ego– People don’t like you and they avoid you. The reason is clear…You are not good with them. They may fear you but trust me, they don’t love you.
Self Respect– You create a positive aura around you. People feel very comfortable with you. Everyone loves you, barring the ones who are egoistic.
Ego– In case of success, you feel that you are the best. There is no one better than you. When you fail, your ego is into bits and pieces. You feel like a loser.
Self-respect– Your self-respect remains indifferent in case of a success or a failure. Failures cannot harm your self-respect. You try to extract success even out of a failure.
Ego – Ego is a weakness. If you are egoistic, appreciation makes you strong and criticism makes you weak. Yes, you find it extremely difficult to handle criticism.
Self-respect– Self-respect is a strength. If you are riding high on self-respect, you are indifferent to both appreciation and criticism. You may enjoy appreciation, but you don’t need it. When you are criticized, you try to analyze the reason behind the criticism.
Ego– Your ego never lets you appreciate others for their achievements and credentials. In criticizing and blaming others, there is no one better than you.
Self-respect– When you are riding high on self-respect, you always appreciate and admire others for their credentials and achievements. You hold back from criticizing others. You make them realize their mistakes in a gentle way.
Ego– You are always under the illusion of being judged by others. And you fear people’s judgments. You rely a lot on what people feel about you.
Self-Respect– You are only concerned about what you feel about yourself. You are indifferent to people’s judgments.
Ego– It is a vice which makes you greedy, leading to the never-ending desires. These desires refrain you from feeling happiness in the present moment.
Self-respect– It is a virtue which makes you feel blessed and content. When you are high on self-respect, you are always high on happiness.
Time for some Happy Realizations!!!
Try to recall people whom you denote as ‘Down to earth’?
Have you ever tried to analyze why? I will tell you the reason…
It is because these people are wonderful regardless of the possessions -money, power, appearance, recognition, any other materialistic possessions.
They are not showoffs, unlike egoistic people. These people are nice to you and respect you. They ask for your opinions, help you whenever you are in need. You are always comfortable when they are around.
Do you know who these people are?
These people are none other than the people riding high on self-respect…
Summon to mind the foundation of your respect’s pride is permanent. It is permanent because it is regardless of any reason. When you know your inner-self, you respect oneself. And with that, you respect others.
On the contrary, the foundation of your ego’s pride is temporary. It is because materialistic reasons drive your ego. When the reasons are over, your ego gets shattered. And with that, you are over too…
You see, there is not a thin line of difference between ego and self-respect… It is much more than that. Now, it’s up to you to choose… Ego or Self-respect?
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.