Everyone has their way of defining happiness and reaching that state. But the basis remains the same for everyone.
My dear friend,
Whatever you do being aware in the present moment, it bestows you with happiness. You feel blessed and appreciate everything. You are less prone to stress and negativity.
Rightly quoted by Gautama Buddha…
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
Better said than done…
Everyone encounters many such moments when we feel like running away from our present. Some situations are hostile, some moments are just not worthy enough to feel them.
If we feel those moments, we stress more, we agonize more.
I’m sure you can relate to any of these following hostile moments…
How can you…
- enjoy the present seeing a physically challenged beggar lying down on the side street?
- extract happiness from the surroundings when rapes and killings are happening around you?
- feel happy in the present when you are hungry and you don’t know the source of the next bread?
- dwell in the present when you are a failure today?
- feel the present when you lose a family member in a sudden demise?
Seriously, why will you make your present-moment-journey tougher living in the present when facing your present is already tough?
If this is what you feel, let me tell you that your curiosities have landed on the right harbor.
Let us try to unlock our mental mysteries…
But before that, let me bombard a few questions on you…
- Were you happy when there was no reason to feel sad?
- Was everything fine when life was fair?
- Were you cheerful when the situations were not adverse?
- Did you enjoy the surroundings when everything around was beautiful?
- Were you high on life when you were successful?
- Did you value them when they were alive?
If you ask me ‘Why feel the present moment when it is hostile’, I ask you… ‘Did you feel the present moment when it was unhostile?’
I’m sorry but my question is serious than yours!!!
This is what you need to ask yourself first so that I can answer your question.
And if any of these above-asked questions is taking you to the self-analysis mode, you are getting hurt.
You know why?
It’s because you are guilty of playing the blame game and situations. And now you are finding it hard to take the blame on yourself!!!
Yes… now you become eligible to find the answer to your question… ‘Why feel the present moment when it is hostile?’
My dear friend…it’s easy to blame life, situations, people as per your convenience but what’s tough is to stop getting affected by it. It’s easy to run from the present, but what’s hard is to stay there even in unfavorable situations.
In reality, you cannot escape the reality.
No matter how hard you try to run, it will catch up with your speed, and this time with a harder intensity.
Turning your face away from a challenging situation by taking the help of medication, and intoxication most times is not a solution either. It may soothe you at that moment but these are not the solutions. It is just a momentary illusion.
Please stop creating your parallel world by opting for these options. Because when the effect of these so-called solutions is over, it throws you to reality.
When you could not face it then, how will you be able to face it now? This time, reality will hit you even harder. Don’t let the reality to punch you so hard that you get knocked down, the situation from where it is impossible to get up, leave apart fighting it.
And this is when you are introduced to addictions, where you either become drug-addicts, alcoholics, where you become purposeless and useless.
And you know what, I have seen people in the drugged, intoxicated state who try to prove that awareness is in the present moment.
To all such people… Yes, you are not wrong. But, I want to tell you it is your parallel world talking, and not your real world.
And if you have the guts, justify awareness in the present moment being high on life, not after getting high on drugs. You are the ones who justify happiness the wrong way.
Even if you are not one of them, let me ask you…
Are you doing justice to your life feeling the favorable present situations, your likable ones, and ignoring the unfavorable situations, the ones you dislike?
Is it not ignorance? Is it right not to test yourself in tough situations? Then how will you accept the tough situations when you have to face them? How will you be able to handle the tough and pressure situations when you don’t have the courage to withstand it?
Always remember, Acceptance of pain itself is a pain reliever!!!
And if I ask you the definition of the ‘ideal present moment’…
Let me tell you there is no definition of ‘ideal present moment’. It is you who has to make your present moment ideal by feeling it.
Because even if you achieve your defined ‘ideal present moment’, you cannot be happy. It is because you never settle for it. You crave for more, you want more, you expect more. And this desire for more keeps your mind running like crazy, and the happiness in the present moment is denied.
Be it a positive or a negative situation, you experience any moment the way you want to perceive it, and not how it is.
To your surprise, most of the people are struggling to find happiness even when there is no reason to feel sad. Yes, they cannot feel happy even they have money, successful careers, a good personal life, no reason to feel negative.
On the other hand, I have seen people happy who do not know the source of their next bread. Yes, these people exist. Surprisingly, the reason behind it is that they are aware in the present moment.
Time for some Happy Realizations…
Life is not a fairytale. It is all about peaks and valleys where highs and lows are in balance. And when you are enjoying your highs, how can you run away in your lows? This way, you can never expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.
Because only when you experience sadness, you know the significance of happiness, the essence of happiness.
My dear friend…when everything happening around is not according to you, or you cannot do whatever you feel, allow the reverse formula to work… Start feeling whatever you do!!!
Happiness is seeking reasons, and it is a sad state!!!
It’s shocking to see that the natural state of a person has become sadness, which was once happiness. Not happiness, but sadness has become a monotony.
Agreed, it is not always in your hands to turn the situation. If that’s the case, you need to play the waiting game and allow that time to move on because whatever the intensity of the adverse situation is, time is the biggest healer, trust me!!!
When you are present in the present, you act more, think less, take correct decisions because everything is directed to you by your conscious mind, not your sub-conscious mind. It is when you start doing something to overturn the unfavorable situation.
Stop thinking about the future. Live in the present moment for a better future. Be happy if the situations are favorable.
In case of unfavorable situations, endure today for a better tomorrow. Because only when you feel a hostile moment, you try to change it.
Many people ask me what if I die enduring? I say you are already dead if you are not enduring!!!
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.