Are you losing beautiful people in the process of pleasing the social environment?
A renowned musician Bob Marley once said:
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
So beginning with, let’s meet the people surrounding you indigenous to distinct environments:
We’ll start with the most essential sphere…
Generally, the people from this domain are beautiful. The most admirable quality about them is they can distinguish your real self from your fabrications.
Wondering what’s the chemistry you share with the people from your personal environment?
A sense of belongingness budding from attachment!
And sometimes, this intimacy inflicts unbearable pain. You won’t deny the stronger the connection, the deeper it hurts.
But is this attachment a setback? No, it’s not.
Come on! They are an integral part of your life; he/she is your life partner, parent, kid, sibling, and friend.
You seek and reciprocate love in this sphere. There are certain responsibilities you owe towards each other. You share a strong connect anyway — physical, emotional, mental, financial.
Obviously, when all of this is happening, an attachment has to seep from either side. And that’s perfectly fine!
No wonder, misunderstandings hurt sentiments on a few occasions. Yes, sometimes obligations are overburdening.
There are times when you exhaust fulfilling their expectations. And there are situations when you feel a prisoner because of dependency.
No two individuals are the same and sometimes, miscommunications may cause distress in the relationship.
Stop blaming attachment for covering own inefficiency and incompetence.
Do you realize how essential is this bond?
Not only the soft cries but this deep attachment also bestows you with blissful memories to cherish.
Where losing a family member inflicts pain; arrival of a family member spreads joy.
Sometimes these people make you cry; most of the times they offer you a hundred reasons to smile.
When an unfulfilled expectation hurts; a fulfilled wish rejuvenates.
When they make you realize your mistakes; they are the only ones appreciating your credentials.
When they blame; they even apologize.
I’m sure you agree with most of the episodes. And for those beautiful reasons, make sure the ego never obstructs your way to a healthy personal environment.
Let’s jump to the next dimension…
Much like your personal sphere, you need to make adjustments here too.
Most of us are employers or employees in the professional environment; right?
If you are an employee, you need to respect your boss. If you are a boss, you need to appreciate your employees.
After all, the byproduct is money on which everyone strives.
As I always say:
Money is not every reason but the first reason for happiness.
The professional environment is a vital sphere demanding your meticulous attention. So yes, blending with the people from this world is your unsung priority.
And that’s fine again. But are we done?
Did you meet everyone?
No, you didn’t.
Suddenly from the last few years, a new environment has evolved polluting all the other aspects of your life.
It’s an illusionary environment created by you. It is destroying the habitats of your primary two environments.
Social media as a testimony; do you realize how it’s unidentified addiction is mercilessly slaughtering your beautiful moments of solitude?
This domain is envious. People here are aces to suck and drain your unharnessed energy.
People from social environment judge you by your materialistic possessions, not your soulful depth.
Neither they appreciate your wins nor they console your losses. You have long conversations with them but those talks are sans any emotional connection.
These people are always ready with their advice but not the one you are seeking. They accompany you in your good times but they cannot lighten your darkness.
Defining them in a single breed; they are the people who discharge poison behind your back but never the truth on your face.
(Socializers would kill me) But yes, the above mentioned are the state of affairs involving people from the social sphere.
My heartfelt concerns:
Do you realize:
Your restless mind today is the root cause of abnormal stress?
Yes, your mind has become unstoppable since the sudden rapid evolution of the social environment. With that, your soulful feelings are losing control.
Beware! It’s contagious to an extent you cannot feel the mournful cries of your personal environment and the mindful drives of your professional environment.
Do you know why it’s hard to break up with your social environment?
It’s captivating; it is deceiving most of us by its disguised beauty.
We’re all in this together.
In the bedroom or bathroom; in your workplace or a holiday destination; social media connections are destroying the vital connections.
Now when you are aware of your menacing social environment, can you recognize the socializers?
Are you doing the filtering process right? I doubt you are!
What you don’t realize:
Your social life is a theatre and you are just an actor.
As per the drill when you act well, you become a lead cast in their film. And if you don’t, those people take your real self for granted.
But here’s the most painful irony… You are so engrossed obliging the social environment you stopped reciprocating the needs of personal and professional spheres.
I am sorry but if it continues; you’ll ruin important aspects of your life.
So hereon, the moment you get hurt by anyone; ask yourself:
Are they really the ones worth suffering for?
It doesn’t matter if it takes a few instances to make you categorize people belonging to different spheres.
But when you are done with the filtration process; make sure you treat people by what they deserve.
You need to to be soulful at the correct place with the right people. You can’t unveil your true unfiltered emotions anywhere in front of anyone.
I suffered in pursuit of pleasing people from the wrong environment.
I’m reviving my lost feelings; can you rejuvenate your smarter self? I am sure you can… Good luck!
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.