Emotional and Mental Health

Even if you are not a winner, appear like one. It is one of the most important traits of your personality to lead a healthy life. It is the reflection of your self-belief. A confident person lives far better life than a person with low self- confidence. Well, there are simple things that help in acquiring this particular trait. One is your lifestyle. Most of the times, your physical appearance reflects your self-confidence. Now, do not confuse between your looks and appearance. Your looks are not under your control, but you can always monitor the way you appear. Your presence creates your aura, which always has to be compelling to look self-confident. Always keep in mind that an early bird catches the most worms. A fit person appears more confident than others. Therefore, your appearance makes a lot of impact on the people you meet. Moreover, a smile can do wonders. A smile welcomes a smile. A happy person invites others to converse with him/her. Make eye contact and maintain your body posture while talking. You can practice it in front of the mirror. Rest assured, it helps. Moreover, you must know what to speak. Never try to impress others with false statements. At the same time, never try to impose your ideas on others. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.   Be confident in thinking and attitude. Talk to random person whenever you get a chance. Be generous and kind but don’t over apologize. Don’t worry, nobody is perfect, so tie your laces and take on the world.          

Have you ever felt that the fear created by your mind is intense than the actual face of the feared moment? And if you don’t fear it, you respond better being it a spontaneous moment? Let us simplify it. The process where you fear your fear... The problem starts with thinking about the fear right from the outset you get to know you have to face an unusual situation. It soon turns into an apprehension. Your mind distresses because of over-thinking about one thing-the feared moment. As a result, you get detached from the present moment.  But after the actualization of the feared moment, surprisingly you realize that you could have dealt better with it. But the real problem was the fear of fear, with the actual intensity of the problem being extremely low. This way, you never win over your fear, and the fear retains inside you because you did not kill it.  I am sure you have gone through this process many times. A few realizations... Fear has nothing to do with being brave or a coward. Everyone fears someone or something. It even works as a boon as it allows you to prepare to face it.  But the problem arises when you don't do anything about it. You keep fearing that moment until it arrives. This way, you never overcome that fear. Adding to your plight, fearing the fear gives birth to many other negative emotions. Eventually, it kills the essence and feel of the now. You see, it is all connected and is a vicious circle. Reasons you fear...       1. Non-awareness of mind in the present moment You do not live the life surrounding you. Instead, you think either about your past or future. It leads to over-thinking and you lose awareness in the present moment. Eventually, overthinking makes way for apprehensions.      2. Low in inner-self attributes When you are low in self-confidence and self-esteem, you don’t back yourself and trust yourself. Your fear keeps revolving inside your mind, leading to worries and apprehensions.      3. An unpleasant past When you have a troubled past, you don’t have pleasant memories to cherish. You relate those dark instances of the past to every upcoming situation and attach apprehensions in the process.  What do you fear? (This is important...) People It relates to your aura. When you do not dwell on your own aura, others’ aura becomes dominant on you. People define your living and thinking because you are under their influence. You become dependent on them and in the process; you fear people. Straight out solution... When you are right according to you, don’t care even if it is wrong according to people. Just back your right with a positive attitude and confidence.  2. Situation You are usually uncomfortable with the news of facing anything new. The situations which force you to step out of your comfort zone becomes the cause of your fear. Straight out solution... You just need to alter your thinking because unless you welcome the new, you will never be able to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. And if you want to excel...

 The world is full of negative energies and negative people around us. There are many instances which we see, hear, read and subsequently feel every day. The unnatural deaths due to deadly diseases, sudden accidents, brutal rapes, fatal crimes; moreover the betrayals, hypocrisy, jealousy and many more…you are bound to feel negative. But, this is one way of feeling it. Let us introduce ourselves to another way of looking at things. Despite all of the negativity happening around us, we also have all the reasons to feel content. We have a shelter to shed, food to eat, water to drink, money to spend. On top of that, WE HAVE TIME TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE while most of the people do not have time to breathe freely. Compare yourself, but with the ones who can only dream of living your life. STOP COMPLAINING. You have all the right reasons to feel positive. Start feeling and enjoying happiness NOW. Last but not the least, follow compassion. Helping others and making others happy is a definite way to feel happy and positive.  

My mind runs here, there, everywhere trying to win the race against time.It retreats to the past, leaps into the future, only to lose in the present. My present moment is rolling but my mind is ahead or behind it.The poor mind is losing in both cases and you know who’s winning? Time! The unsung battle  Never could I realize my unconscious mind started competing with the invincible Time.  Time proposes friendship, offers to unite, invites the mind to end animosity.  But the audacious mind soaked in ego wishes to rule over the boundless. Unlike mind, Time never calls it a fight, flowing at a divine pace, faithful to everyone.But that transparency deceives my mind. No wonder, my mind one powerful unit. It flaunts, but in self-admiration, forgets everyone and everything is a slave to Time. Interestingly, both have their best friend... I’m sure you want to meet them. Meet my mind's bestie Intoxication, my mind’s best friend. It possesses every quality.It makes my mind dance in good times, a pain-reliever in bad.  But my exuberant mind cannot identify Intoxication’s cruel intentions. Besides having monetary demands, Intoxication seizes independence. It takes my mind for a drive to future, reverses gear, accelerates to the past. And when the psychological drama is over, throws it to the unpleasant reality soon. Illusionary happiness convinces the unconscious mind to depend on Intoxication mesmerizing by its bittersweetness. Time watches everything silently and loves the juvenile games! My mind doesn’t realize flowing with Time creates an awareness that solves most of the riddles.          Mind (riding on ego) wins moments when it has materialistic possessions including power, but Time is smiling on the Death corner to ruin the party.Time never reacts on course, it's best friend does the talking!  Unveiling Time's best friend None other than Karma.Brutally honest, one powerful unit.Time prefers silence, but Karma is violent. They share beautiful chemistry.Questions on time, Karma takes the responsibility of answers.Time defines the best part... the answers of Karma. The style of Karma’s answering is different, more of a beating. Poor mind, unable to face the wrath not only lost but also accepted. Yes... my mind realized it was fighting a lost battle. Finally, it pleaded to Time ... I lost to you, proud; Karma taught me loud.Creepy thoughts are dominant, laugh when Ego I say I’m confident.I want to age with you; I want to walk with you.Help or it’s my end, please help my friend. It was difficult to convince Time who thought it could be a mind’s ploy. But Time filled with self-respect accepted it with open arms.  It responded ... In the quest of running, you forgot how to walk.I’m winning, either win with me or lose against me. I’m flowing, either flow with me or drown. And then evolved a conscious realization ... Happiness is nowhere but in the awareness of the present moment. My mind made a new friend ... my body, which accompanies it everywhere, unlike earlier. Now, my mental body and physical body walk together along with time. Do you know how are they connected? Through the awareness of my breaths! Final Words Negativity spares none.I face moments when the outer world is all over me....

First of all, let us define self-control: According to Vocabulary.com, "Self-control is the quality that allows you to stop yourself from doing things you want to do but that might not be in your best interest." My dear friend, today’s world is full of alluring mediums where you fall prey to the materialistic forces for momentary happiness. Resisting the temptation has become extremely difficult.  Getting carried away to these tempting drives might give you instant happiness and success. It is the reason why you begin to lose your self-control and commit yourself to these choices. But is the success and happiness derived by committing to it real? Does it really last for a lifetime? Let us find out... Why is Self-Control Important? Straight out, there are no shortcuts to success, and happiness derived after fulfilling the never-ending desires is short-lived. You got the reason why is it short-lived. It is because those desires are never-ending. The fulfillment of one just makes making way for the other, resulting in a never-ending vicious flow. This momentary happiness is soon followed by regret. And trust me, this regret adversely affects the self-love. And if continued further, it may even lead to self-harming thoughts. It is immensely important to stay away from these drives. And this is why your self-control has a vital role to play. The stronger your self-control, the less you fall prey to the luring drives.  A few daily-life practical examples where self-control is important... Student, self-control is resisting the temptation of going to your best friend's birthday celebration today when he/she has a difficult exam tomorrow. Ice-cream lover, self-control is resisting the temptation of eating it when you are on a fitness diet. Married man, self-control is resisting the temptation of getting carried by the physical beauty of another woman. Sugar patient, self-control is resisting the temptation of sweets and desserts. Parent, self-control is resisting the temptation of raising hands on your child when he/she commits a mistake. Stressed person, self-control is resisting the temptation of alcohol, which is an elusive stress buster. Monetary-struggler, self-control is resisting the temptation to earn quick money by unethical means like gambling or theft. Failure, self-control is the resisting the temptation of giving up. I am sure you can relate to any of these instances.How is Self-Control Connected to Self-Esteem? In such a competitive and stressful environment where every man is for themselves, self-esteem has become quite essential. And it is your self-control, which is responsible for your boosted self-esteem. If you keep falling prey to the alluring mediums, you will never be able to ride high on your self-esteem. Ultimately, you shall keep on denying the internal happiness. On the contrary, you just need one big situation where you resist yourself to the alluring temptation via self-control. Then off you go, your self-esteem and self-love get an automatic boost. And this boost acts as a solid base to resist the upcoming temptations. Let us find out how this entire process works... AN INDIVIDUAL – SELF-CONTROL – CHARACTER BUILDING  – AVOIDANCE OF MATERIALISTIC TEMPTATIONS – HIGH SELF-ESTEEM –  REAL HAPPINESS. First and foremost, self-control has to be your initiation to do the...

When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative.  Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations? Why do you expect and from whom do you expect? In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation. Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish. Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection. Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations. The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations? The never-ending expectation process: Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day. Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people. You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them. In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.  Let me bombard a few questions on you... If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations? Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it. Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong. Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...

Most of us do not train our minds to accept: An unfriendly situation. A self-imperfection. First of all, let us comprehend ‘an unfriendly situation.’ Time is not always favorable to us. Sometimes, when situations are hostile to us, what most of us do is try to avoid the situation or run away from the problem. We don't talk about it now. We don’t want to face it and hence, we try to overlook it. Now, let us try to understand ‘a self-imperfection.’ Nobody is perfect. We all are the effigy of imperfections and yes, there is nothing wrong in it. Nonetheless, how many of us have the courage to accept it? Trust me, only a few. Always remember that being imperfect is not a concern, the problem is the un-readiness of our minds to accept it. Whether it is an unfriendly situation or a self-imperfection, is the denial mode solution to our troubles? I am sorry but we are elevating our problems all by ourselves. Denying the fact that we are facing a problem is an invitation to other troubles. Always remember, how fast and how far we try to run away from an unfriendly situation or a self-imperfection, it will catch up with us soon. This time around, its intensity will be so strong that it will be virtually impossible for us to deal with it. A situation will arise in which neither we will be able to face it, nor we will be able to avoid it. Finally, we will never be able to move out of it. Let us understand it with the help of illustrations. Example 1 You are chit-chatting with your friends. Suddenly, one of them initiates a discussion about politics. Others too plunge into the discussion.  Say, you are the only one who is not updated in politics and you insist them to change the topic. The matter of fact here is you are getting bored because you are not proficient in expressing your views on the particular subject. However, the reason you give for it, ‘Politics is not an interesting subject’. Here, you are avoiding the fact that you are not acquainted with politics, which is the actual reason you are not finding it interesting. Still, you are not accepting it. Example 2 You appeared in 5 exams. You performed well in all subjects except mathematics. Subsequently, you begin to put allegations like the mathematics paper was lengthy. Yes, sometimes you also say that the course was out of syllabus. Again, instead of accepting the fact that you need to work on mathematics, you opt for the denial mode. Example 3 You get into an altercation with your loved one where you give a rude reply. You also raise your voice intensely during the conversation. Instead of accepting that you quickly get angry on petty issues, you put the blame on him/her. Again, you avoid the cause of the problem when you very well know deep down inside that you are wrong. Example 4 You go to a formal together where people were mostly talking to each other...

Ok, let me second that negative people and things surround you. Simultaneously, don't you feel that an individual or a situation detrimental to you could be positive for others? Moreover, don't you think it is entirely practicable that others find you cynical? Having said that, does that make you negative? No, it does not. One thing you need to realize is every individual perceive people and situations according to him/her. I am sorry but only seeing negativity implies that you are wearing a defective pair of lenses. Please stop playing the blame game. Always remember that you can never get affected by others when you have a dominant and a powerful inner-self.  Straight out, getting carried away by negativity emitted by people and situations is your incompetency to deal with it. Feeling cynical because of others implies that you are not under the influence of your aura. It indicates that you are dwelling on others' aura. Summon into mind that YOU are the only reason for your negativity or positivity. You cannot get affected by others if you have a prestigious and powerful inner self. Moreover, one more thing you need to understand is that you should not stay quiet if you have an opinion. Speak up. Express yourself. Let people know what you feel. Flushing out emotional feelings then and there always makes you feel lighter. Subsequently, it enables you to keep away from negativity. Retaining things inside you gives birth to negativity. Eventually, you start playing the blame game. Stop doing it.  

Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning? Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely. Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally. It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it... My personal realizations: There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion. It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it. You know why I used to get hurt so badly? It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”  I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life. I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic. One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.” The connotation of  "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings" Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you. You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...

First of all, you are not a robot, who will not feel anything. It is quite human to feel things and allow the emotions act accordingly. However, what creates a problem is staying in the same mode for an elongated time. It is very healthy to experience emotions. Nonetheless, what's important is never hold the emotions inside you over a long period. It is equally essential to treat the negative emotions same as the positive emotions. A person who treats a failure same as his/her success doesn’t have to search for happiness outside.  There are few things which will help you to stay away from negativity: -A healthy body holds a healthy brain. This mind helps us to make decisions. Therefore, eat healthy to think healthy. - Meditate for inner peace and happiness. The people who always stay happy and stress-free are the ones who know how to connect with their inner self.   -It is equally important to connect with people. Therefore, love, laugh, enjoy with the people around you.  The World itself is an inspiration.   - Our surrounding plays a significant role in our upbringing. Therefore, it is important to have good friends; few friends doesn't matter.  -Never look for a  reason to be happy. You, yourself are the biggest reason for your happiness. -Treat yourself on small achievements. Always try to be self-motivated. -Make peace with your past. Never over-think about situations that hurt you in the past. -Be compassionate.Make somebody happy. It creates a euphoric sensation within you and makes you a better person. Be kind and generous to people who are less privileged than you.  You know yourself better than others. So, start listening to yourself and stay away from negativity.