Most of us do not train our minds to accept:
- An unfriendly situation.
- A self-imperfection.
First of all, let us comprehend ‘an unfriendly situation.’
Time is not always favorable to us. Sometimes, when situations are hostile to us, what most of us do is try to avoid the situation or run away from the problem. We don’t talk about it now. We don’t want to face it and hence, we try to overlook it.
Now, let us try to understand ‘a self-imperfection.’
Nobody is perfect. We all are the effigy of imperfections and yes, there is nothing wrong in it. Nonetheless, how many of us have the courage to accept it? Trust me, only a few. Always remember that being imperfect is not a concern, the problem is the un-readiness of our minds to accept it.
Whether it is an unfriendly situation or a self-imperfection, is the denial mode solution to our troubles?
I am sorry but we are elevating our problems all by ourselves. Denying the fact that we are facing a problem is an invitation to other troubles. Always remember, how fast and how far we try to run away from an unfriendly situation or a self-imperfection, it will catch up with us soon. This time around, its intensity will be so strong that it will be virtually impossible for us to deal with it.
A situation will arise in which neither we will be able to face it, nor we will be able to avoid it. Finally, we will never be able to move out of it.
Let us understand it with the help of illustrations.
You are chit-chatting with your friends. Suddenly, one of them initiates a discussion about politics. Others too plunge into the discussion. Say, you are the only one who is not updated in politics and you insist them to change the topic. The matter of fact here is you are getting bored because you are not proficient in expressing your views on the particular subject. However, the reason you give for it, ‘Politics is not an interesting subject’. Here, you are avoiding the fact that you are not acquainted with politics, which is the actual reason you are not finding it interesting. Still, you are not accepting it.
You appeared in 5 exams. You performed well in all subjects except mathematics. Subsequently, you begin to put allegations like the mathematics paper was lengthy. Yes, sometimes you also say that the course was out of syllabus. Again, instead of accepting the fact that you need to work on mathematics, you opt for the denial mode.
You get into an altercation with your loved one where you give a rude reply. You also raise your voice intensely during the conversation. Instead of accepting that you quickly get angry on petty issues, you put the blame on him/her. Again, you avoid the cause of the problem when you very well know deep down inside that you are wrong.
You go to a formal together where people were mostly talking to each other in English. You are not comfortable with conversing in English. You feel awkward and embarrassed. Instead of accepting the fact that your English communication skills require improvement, you address the party dull and call the people show-offs. Again, you ignore the cause while you very well know where exactly the problem lies.
Your son enjoys the liberty of doing anything and everything; wearing what we want, have as many friends he wants, staying out until the time he wants, etc. However, when it comes to your daughter, she is bound by restrictions. In this case, instead of accepting the fact that you are shallow-minded and you need to see the broader concept, you start justifying your rites and values. Again, you refuse the acceptance.
I am sorry but let us assume an extreme condition that you have surfaced an untimely demise of a family member. Neither it is a natural daily life situation nor is acquainted with it. Acceptance, in this case, is intensely difficult yet extremely important. If you allow your thoughts to get stuck to the loss, you will never be able to accept it. Unless you accept it, you will never be able to get over it.
TIME FOR SOME HAPPY REALIZATIONS:
Friends, it is overlooking of the first problem, which acts as a base for the subsequent problems. Subsequently, we get entangled in our problems in such a way that we get knocked out.
Before we get disheartened, let us try a very simple technique. Let us confront it. Yes, let us confront it to accept it. Subsequently, let us accept it to adapt it. It is only when we adapt to it, we will be able to overcome the pain inflicted by it.
Unfavorable situations are part and parcel of life. Joys and Sorrows are always in balance. Accepting the sorrow makes us strong individuals. We cannot change it so better accept it to feel lighter and better. Acceptance of the pain is the pain-reliever. Let us start facing the problem head on.
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.