Emotional and Mental Health

What defines your monotonous life? My boredom? Our generation’s boring monotony? A haunting tradition following since the X generation! It’s a pre-defined conventional journey — starts with a super-active child at home, an exuberant kid in school, an adventurous youth in college, and then? As soon as you enter the late twenties and early thirties, don’t you feel:We are puppets dancing off-beat to the tune of a monotonous life? You won’t disagree more or less we share a common story. We’ll talk a little about every phase starting teenage. The time before that does not qualify for scrutiny. We were happy souls then. The tender teenage is the age when most of us are on an exploring spree. It’s the most exciting phase when most of us are introduced to new experiences. The thrills of hormonal attraction, the adventure of bunking classes, the excitement of a new cellphone, fear of failures, sadness inflicting loss, and whatnot… Life events are not customary and that’s the best part of this time. Every moment awaits to capture a new experience. Moving to the next phase is the dawn of adulthood (the twenty-one's) when most of us go through a full range of overwhelming emotions, and gradually we prioritize and move forward with our choices and responses. But what next? Don’t you realize life stagnates thereafter? Yes… the majority of us stand at the doorstep of a monotonous life. ‘That’s because we turn into:spouses and parents in personal livesan employee or an employer in a professional careera mere reputation in the social environmentTill over and out.’ Please keep reading even if you haven’t reached this state, you are closer than you think! That’s because soon a customary routine takes over to define our life’s monotonous process until we final gasp. Most have compromised with it. But you don’t belong there, the reason you are here. Allow me to offer: 4 super effective ways to break the monotony of everyday life: Twist the thought process When you program your mind into a routine existence; your mind becomes a jailor and your soul a prisoner. Your life isn’t a beautiful exploration journey anymore. I may sound silly if I ask you: Do you wait for the holidays? Everyone does! Most of us work our asses off the entire week to enjoy on weekends. But does that mean you are eligible for happiness only on weekends? I don’t know much but I am sure about this: We cannot assign a particular date, time, and place for happiness. My friend; even happiness seems monotonous this way. What I feel we need this break every day. Any small conscious mind break is capable to break your routine existence. Listening to music, exercising, or maybe a long drive — any such monotony breaker not involving your mind is capable to rejuvenate your soul. And when you do that, you realize happiness does not involve the mind, it’s an essence of the soul. Did you know? Not only feeling happiness, but a mind rest daily can also raise its potency drastically. Here is a summary of recent research and thinking on the value of taking breaks. Start it now or else your holiday break remains a random...

Are you losing beautiful people in the process of pleasing the social environment? A renowned musician Bob Marley once said: Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. So beginning with, let’s meet the people surrounding you indigenous to distinct environments: We’ll start with the most essential sphere... Personal Environment: Generally, the people from this domain are beautiful. The most admirable quality about them is they can distinguish your real self from your fabrications. Wondering what’s the chemistry you share with the people from your personal environment? A sense of belongingness budding from attachment! And sometimes, this intimacy inflicts unbearable pain. You won’t deny the stronger the connection, the deeper it hurts. But is this attachment a setback? No, it’s not. Come on! They are an integral part of your life; he/she is your life partner, parent, kid, sibling, and friend. You seek and reciprocate love in this sphere. There are certain responsibilities you owe towards each other. You share a strong connect anyway — physical, emotional, mental, financial. Obviously, when all of this is happening, an attachment has to seep from either side. And that’s perfectly fine! No wonder, misunderstandings hurt sentiments on a few occasions. Yes, sometimes obligations are overburdening. There are times when you exhaust fulfilling their expectations. And there are situations when you feel a prisoner because of dependency. Look: No two individuals are the same and sometimes, miscommunications may cause distress in the relationship.  Having said: Stop blaming attachment for covering own inefficiency and incompetence. Do you realize how essential is this bond? Not only the soft cries but this deep attachment also bestows you with blissful memories to cherish. Where losing a family member inflicts pain; arrival of a family member spreads joy. Sometimes these people make you cry; most of the times they offer you a hundred reasons to smile. When an unfulfilled expectation hurts; a fulfilled wish rejuvenates. When they make you realize your mistakes; they are the only ones appreciating your credentials. When they blame; they even apologize. I’m sure you agree with most of the episodes. And for those beautiful reasons, make sure the ego never obstructs your way to a healthy personal environment.  Let’s jump to the next dimension... Professional environment: Much like your personal sphere, you need to make adjustments here too. Most of us are employers or employees in the professional environment; right? If you are an employee, you need to respect your boss. If you are a boss, you need to appreciate your employees. After all, the byproduct is money on which everyone strives. As I always say: Money is not every reason but the first reason for happiness.  The professional environment is a vital sphere demanding your meticulous attention. So yes, blending with the people from this world is your unsung priority. And that’s fine again. But are we done? Did you meet everyone? No, you didn’t. Suddenly from the last few years, a new environment has evolved polluting all the other aspects of your life. What’s that? Social environment: It’s an illusionary environment created by you. It is destroying the habitats of your primary two environments. Social media as a testimony; do you realize how it’s unidentified addiction is mercilessly slaughtering your...

Do you know most of us are sharing a common problem? consciousness: In today’s materialistic world of cynical realism, a sensitive mind often loses awareness in the present moment. It surrenders to people and situations by dancing to the tune of subconsciousness. As a result, not only what to think but your mind also loses control over how much to think. The problem does not end here: (Consciousness) Soul-driven feelings become less responsive. Ultimately, you defeat the sole purpose of life- “To feel happy”. Don’t worry! You are not the only one suffering. You might be wondering: How to uncover a state where feeling positive emotions, and denying feelings to negative emotions, becomes a choice? Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. Time to get familiar with consciousness: Consciousness refers to your individual awareness of your unique thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations, and environment. In fact, many intellectuals have defined it. Do you want to know how I perceive it?  Here’s my definition of consciousness: It’s an experience in which mind rejuvenates the thoughts and soul revives the feelings; the resultant thoughts and feelings are faithful to each other. Consciousness is the state where not only you do whatever you feel but also feel whatever you do. Let’s jump right into the reasons to activate consciousness... 13 reasons to evoke consciousness: 1. Conscious people live a monotonous life happily  As it’s a bread-butter fight, most of us follow a fixed routine. While you struggle to find happiness in the monotony, conscious people always feel blissful. They cherish every moment regardless of the skeptical nature from the outside world. 2. Consciousness provokes fearlessness People-Situations-Death; most of us fear any of three. You are fearful unaware fear relates to the future. Consciousness is a gateway to happiness as every moment is a spontaneous bliss. Conscious people do nothing different to create a beautiful future. They just live the present moment gracefully.  3. Consciousness liberalizes to choose between thinking and feeling While sub-consciousness is a gateway to negative thinking and sadness, consciousness is the key to positive thinking and happiness. It is a double-edged sword which enables you to activate either thinking or feeling one at a time.  Want to know how? While working, it keeps the thinking mode on. During a holiday, it allows your feeling component to dominate your thoughts; the reason you crave for holiday breaks or should I say mind brakes? 4. A conscious person is hungry and hopeful at the same time I consider it the biggest outcome. You might have undue expectations from people. But it’s untrue for conscious people. They don’t have unrealistic expectations which hurt. They are content but not complacent; they endure but are happy; they fight but never fear to lose. Even if conscious people don’t get appreciation from people, their self-motivation speaks loud. 5. Conscious people speak on people’s face, never behind their back Are you courageous enough to speak your soul out? It’s only possible when you are conscious! Conscious people are true to oneself and everyone. It’s because not only they see the ideal path but also have the guts to stride on it. They express whatever they feel including negativity. Maybe their friend list is small but worthy of a lifelong friendship. 6. Conscious people enjoy solitude, others...

Yes, it all starts with your mind...

My mind runs here, there, everywhere trying to win the race against time.It retreats to the past, leaps into the future, only to lose in the present. My present moment is rolling but my mind is ahead or behind it.The poor mind is losing in both cases and you know who’s winning? Time! The unsung battle  Never could I realize my unconscious mind started competing with the invincible Time.  Time proposes friendship, offers to unite, invites the mind to end animosity.  But the audacious mind soaked in ego wishes to rule over the boundless. Unlike mind, Time never calls it a fight, flowing at a divine pace, faithful to everyone.But that transparency deceives my mind. No wonder, my mind one powerful unit. It flaunts, but in self-admiration, forgets everyone and everything is a slave to Time. Interestingly, both have their best friend... I’m sure you want to meet them. Meet my mind's bestie Intoxication, my mind’s best friend. It possesses every quality.It makes my mind dance in good times, a pain-reliever in bad.  But my exuberant mind cannot identify Intoxication’s cruel intentions. Besides having monetary demands, Intoxication seizes independence. It takes my mind for a drive to future, reverses gear, accelerates to the past. And when the psychological drama is over, throws it to the unpleasant reality soon. Illusionary happiness convinces the unconscious mind to depend on Intoxication mesmerizing by its bittersweetness. Time watches everything silently and loves the juvenile games! My mind doesn’t realize flowing with Time creates an awareness that solves most of the riddles.          Mind (riding on ego) wins moments when it has materialistic possessions including power, but Time is smiling on the Death corner to ruin the party.Time never reacts on course, it's best friend does the talking!  Unveiling Time's best friend None other than Karma.Brutally honest, one powerful unit.Time prefers silence, but Karma is violent. They share beautiful chemistry.Questions on time, Karma takes the responsibility of answers.Time defines the best part... the answers of Karma. The style of Karma’s answering is different, more of a beating. Poor mind, unable to face the wrath not only lost but also accepted. Yes... my mind realized it was fighting a lost battle. Finally, it pleaded to Time ... I lost to you, proud; Karma taught me loud.Creepy thoughts are dominant, laugh when Ego I say I’m confident.I want to age with you; I want to walk with you.Help or it’s my end, please help my friend. It was difficult to convince Time who thought it could be a mind’s ploy. But Time filled with self-respect accepted it with open arms.  It responded ... In the quest of running, you forgot how to walk.I’m winning, either win with me or lose against me. I’m flowing, either flow with me or drown. And then evolved a conscious realization ... Happiness is nowhere but in the awareness of the present moment. My mind made a new friend ... my body, which accompanies it everywhere, unlike earlier. Now, my mental body and physical body walk together along with time. Do you know how are they connected? Through the awareness of my breaths! Final Words Negativity spares none.I face moments when the outer world is all over me....

Everyone feels happy doing different things. But the basis of happiness remains the same for everyone.  My dear friend,  Happiness is awareness and appreciation of the present moment! Whatever we do, if we can pay kind attention to the present, with an attitude of non-judgment, it bestows with happiness. We feel blessed and appreciate everything, and are less prone to stress and negativity.  A beautiful observation by Gautama Buddha... “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  Better said than done Everyone encounters many moments when we feel like running away from our present. Some situations are hostile, some moments are just not worth feeling them. If we feel them, we stress more, we agonize more.  I’m sure you can relate to any of the following hostile moments. How can we: feel happy in the present when we are hungry and don’t know the source of the next bread? dwell in the present when we are a failure today? enjoy the present seeing a handicapped beggar lying down on the side street? extract happiness from the surroundings when rapes and killings are happening around? feel the present when we lose a family member in a sudden demise? Seriously, why will we make our lives tougher living in the present when feeling it is already tough?  If this is what you are wondering, let me tell you that your curiosities have landed on the right harbor. Let’s unlock To begin, let me bombard a few questions on you. Were you happy when there was no reason to feel sad? Were you free flowing when life was fair? Was there no ego in your competition before? Were you cheerful when the situations were not adverse? Did you enjoy nature when everything around seemed beautiful? Were you high on life or high on success - if ever it was? Did you forgive your loved ones when they were alive? If you ask me ‘Why feel the present moment when it’s hostile’, I ask you… ‘Did you feel the present moment when it was unhostile?’ I’m sorry but my question is mightier than yours. And it’s taking you to a deep self-analysis, your feelings get hurt. You know why? It’s because you are guilty of playing the blame game on people and situations. And now finding it hard to take the onus on yourself. Now let’s talk about the solution for which we are here. Why feel the present moment when it is hostile? My dear, it’s easy to blame life, situations, people as per your convenience but what’s tough is to bother least about the outside. It’s easy to run from the present, but what’s hard is to stay there even in unfavorable situations. In reality, you cannot escape reality. No matter how hard you run, it soon catches up with your speed, this time with a harder intensity.  Turning away from challenging life by taking the help of medication and intoxication is not a solution either. It calms a few moments but these are not the solutions, just the momentary illusions. Please stop creating your parallel world by opting...

I am dying at 35 but this is not what is hurting me. What’s painful is that when I look back, I don’t recall 35 memories to cherish!!! The journey has not been worth remembering. I am not saying I was sad throughout my life, but yes, I always struggled to feel happy. Never had I felt what I realize now, which is the difference between real happiness and materialistic happiness.  And the irony is when I have realized it, I cannot be happy. I am dying and practically, I cannot choose happiness. I can only miss happiness. But at least you can... choose it now. You might be curious to know what happened suddenly that my life turned upside down? I am literally into tears to pen it down but I will, just to make you realize that today is my turn, likewise, it can be yours tomorrow. And I don’t want you to die like me, just like that. Well... nothing much to tell because it was all good a week back. Just a slight pain in my stomach which led to a couple to tests. Huh... to find what? The final stage of liver cancer with a piece of news... the news that I have a few months, weeks or maybe days left. Hard to live with the fact that I am dying anytime soon. But wait a minute, is this something new I got to know? Is it really news that I might die soon? Was I not aware of it or rather are ‘we’ not aware that we‘ll die one day? I am sure even you know about this inevitable truth but there is a difference between you knowing and me knowing it... The difference is that I can feel it now but I’m not sure you can!!! Sorry to say this but maybe you die before me, trust me it is possible. I may sound weird so let me back it with a testimony. About a month back, I heard the shocking news that a 40-year-old man from my vicinity has been diagnosed with a final stage brain tumor and he does not have much time left. I know him personally and this news left me shattered. I remember I was saying to my wife that 40 is not an age to die. How could be God so cruel? Ha... never dared to imagine that I am dying before him in my thirties. Now I am sure you got a pinch of my taste! This is how unpredictable life is. I close my eyes at night more in fear whether they would open to see a morning... sometimes I wonder what is a bigger challenge? To die gracefully or to live gracefully? Because suddenly I see my definition of challenges transforming.   I could sense the definition of my success changing, which was once to earn bread, and what is now to earn breaths. I could feel a change in my attitude from ‘let it come’ some time back to ‘let it go’ today. I could sense the perception of my future...

Though it is common to face the feeling of sadness, grief, and sorrow at some point in our lives, depression is a serious condition which needs to be unmasked and knocked out. Most of us often confuse between sadness and Depression. And therefore, It is imperative to know the differences and take appropriate measures. 14 differences between sadness and depression  The foremost difference between sadness and depression is that sadness is a temporary feeling. On the other hand, the feeling of depression is over an extended period, can last even for a lifetime. Sadness is an emotional pain which is a reaction to situations. The reasons for sadness are apparent. It could be linked to the death of a closed one, financial losses, failures, homesickness, breakups, fight with the best friend, and so on... Depression is a serious medical illness where one is sad about everything. A situation where everything is fine but the person still feels miserable. Shockingly, there is no apparent reason for depression. Yes, you read it right. A person can feel depressed for no reason.  A sad person craves for the moments once rejoiced; they miss the activities which used to excite them. In case of a depressed person, nothing seems to pull their interest, not even the things which used to give them pleasure earlier...  A sad person relates their sadness only to the causes of sadness. They do not trigger their overthinking mode. The intensity of pain is confined to the reasons for sadness. A depressed person is already hurt. And so, they get affected by petty issues beyond boundaries. They overthink about it. In the process, find self-hurting reasons which have no relevance to the primary cause. As a result, the intensity of pain is unbearable. Feel is the essence of happiness. When a person is sad, he/she doesn’t lose the ability to feel. With depression, the person loses the ability to feel. They feel less and think more. In extreme stages of depression, the feel quotient is almost dead, and the person stops getting affected by anything and everything happening around. When a person feels sad, the motive in their life never subsides. He/She does not give up on their dreams, passion, goals, and ambitions.  A person feeling depressed does not have aims and aspirations. They have no purpose in life. They are unaware of where their life is leading to. A sad person follows the routinary sleep and diet patterns. Even if the pattern gets disturbed, it is for a short time span. In case of a depressed person, it lasts way longer than that... the person may become an insomniac or sleep all day…With diet, either they don’t eat at all or keep munching on abnormal quantities at abnormal timings.  With sadness, one does not feel tired and fatigue the whole day, every day. The reasons can be attributed to the causes of sadness. With depression, one does not feel getting out of the bed the entire day, every day. On top of that, the cause of tiredness and fatigue can be linked to literally nothing. Yes, read it right!!! When a person has reasons to feel sad, he will be sad....

Have you ever felt that the fear created by your mind is intense than the actual face of the feared moment? And if you don’t fear it, you respond better being it a spontaneous moment? Let us simplify it. The process where you fear your fear... The problem starts with thinking about the fear right from the outset you get to know you have to face an unusual situation. It soon turns into an apprehension. Your mind distresses because of over-thinking about one thing-the feared moment. As a result, you get detached from the present moment.  But after the actualization of the feared moment, surprisingly you realize that you could have dealt better with it. But the real problem was the fear of fear, with the actual intensity of the problem being extremely low. This way, you never win over your fear, and the fear retains inside you because you did not kill it.  I am sure you have gone through this process many times. A few realizations... Fear has nothing to do with being brave or a coward. Everyone fears someone or something. It even works as a boon as it allows you to prepare to face it.  But the problem arises when you don't do anything about it. You keep fearing that moment until it arrives. This way, you never overcome that fear. Adding to your plight, fearing the fear gives birth to many other negative emotions. Eventually, it kills the essence and feel of the now. You see, it is all connected and is a vicious circle. Reasons you fear...       1. Non-awareness of mind in the present moment You do not live the life surrounding you. Instead, you think either about your past or future. It leads to over-thinking and you lose awareness in the present moment. Eventually, overthinking makes way for apprehensions.      2. Low in inner-self attributes When you are low in self-confidence and self-esteem, you don’t back yourself and trust yourself. Your fear keeps revolving inside your mind, leading to worries and apprehensions.      3. An unpleasant past When you have a troubled past, you don’t have pleasant memories to cherish. You relate those dark instances of the past to every upcoming situation and attach apprehensions in the process.  What do you fear? (This is important...) People It relates to your aura. When you do not dwell on your own aura, others’ aura becomes dominant on you. People define your living and thinking because you are under their influence. You become dependent on them and in the process; you fear people. Straight out solution... When you are right according to you, don’t care even if it is wrong according to people. Just back your right with a positive attitude and confidence.  2. Situation You are usually uncomfortable with the news of facing anything new. The situations which force you to step out of your comfort zone becomes the cause of your fear. Straight out solution... You just need to alter your thinking because unless you welcome the new, you will never be able to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone. And if you want to excel...

Super-sensitive this, and it's time we talk about it. I believe you will connect to this post if you have ever faced prolonged sadness or depression. Maybe you have never faced the dark. And it's beautiful! But that doesn't assure you will never. Take this as an eye-opener to experience how it feels to be on the other side. So that you could help the depressed win the battle over their mental miseries. And the first thing you need to realize is talking about mental health is still a social stigma in most parts of the world.  It leads to a vicious circle. The poor sufferers are unable to recognize the mental issues. They cannot speak up. Even if few of us do, we are misunderstood. And the lack of awareness continues... The unsung battle There are many people like you and me who are desperate for help. But people on the other side cannot recognize our seeking. Mental condition cannot be apparently seen, it is the reason battling depression has become a humongous challenge. The one suffering does not talk about it, continues to avoid, and as a result, and struggles to the untie the knots to sanity. The other big reason dejected people keep battling alone is that people don’t comprehend their plight. Trust me, it takes immense courage for them to make such confessions. But when they do so, instead of listening and helping them out, your approach to their problems is one of the following: You present your own worldly problems before them. You blame them, make fun of their issues. You don’t take their problems seriously and avoid them. Even if you advise, those are just your foolish half-cooked philosophies which cause more harm and no good. And as a result, they sink further. You might wonder: Why should I listen to their problems? I am struggling myself, who will listen to my problems? Yes you might have many such questions. Just listen I can understand... as they are struggling to cope with their challenges, so are you. But don’t you think, just because you are human and so are they, you should at least listen to them, even if you have no solutions to offer. When you listen, there are two conditions possible. Either you have a solution or you don't. When you have a solution, do you realize that you are a potential lifesaver? Yes, you are... Just a couple of good pieces of advice can give them the needed strength to take their problems head-on. And their approach to problems changes significantly. And even when you don’t have a solution, at least listen to them and express your concern. They will definitely feel esteemed and wanted. Trust me, depressed people unburden themselves significantly if you just listen to them patiently.  What you must realize is: You must learn to console than to become their self-proclaimed counselors. But is that happening? No, it’s not... It's bizarre that everyone wants to get heard. Nobody cares about patience to contemplate other's problems first. There is no denying the fact that most of us consider our own challenges as the biggest in this world. As a result, we are not patient enough to listen to others’ problems.  The bitter truth It’s getting painful...