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Any single event or a set of events can trigger a thought process, which can lead to negativity. It is a vicious circle which starts with a single thought and then takes a severe form. Let us try to seek solutions. A tree cannot stand tall until it's roots are strong. Likewise, instead of wasting our energy on negativity, we should focus on the cause of the problem which is inducing negativity. Straight out, most of the times, the root cause of negativity is overthinking. A brain is a powerful tool and therefore is extremely difficult to control the flow of thoughts. Nevertheless, what we can monitor is the quality of our thoughts. We do not have to burden our mind unnecessarily with petty issues. We never realize when these small things start taking a toll on our mental health, leading to negativity.  Let us start from the beginning... Let us try to start our day with a smile even if we don't feel like smiling. It will be our conscious effort to start our day positive. Let us try to take out some time for a walk or some exercise. Definitely, it will release some happy hormones. Nature is the biggest healer and the greatest source of positive energy.  Connecting to it via meditation can do wonders in our lives. Our diet also plays a significant role in staying physically and mentally healthy. A healthy body holds a healthy brain that will help to think positively. Let us follow compassion. Helping the needy leads to contentment and eliminates negativity. Coming back to feelings, whenever we feel that something is bothering us, we should never hesitate to talk to a person who is close to us.We should never hold our thoughts, always allow them to flow out. 'Expressing' our inside world to the outside world is a deliberate attempt to convert the negativity to positivity.   We must also summon into minds that 'Change' is a part of our life. Let us grow every day by adapting to changes. Sometimes, we are afraid of changes because we enjoy our comfort zone.  However, it is necessary to choose a change over comfort zone. Small changes in life can do wonders.  A single ray of hope can vanish the darkness of our souls. Let us try to connect with the people who are less privileged than us. Surely, we will see a whole new different world. We must always keep in mind that life is too short and unpredictable to feel negativity. Let us enjoy it.                 

Asking for help is a healthy sign. It shows your commitment to solving a problem. It shows your positive attitude that you are always open for improvement. It also signifies that you are a team player and value the suggestions of others. However, there are a few problems associated with asking for help. Well, the main issue is that you do not always run to the right person to seek help. In professional as well as in the personal sphere, only a few people genuinely want to help. There are many individuals who always look for opportunities to harm you in one way or the other.  They always want to take undue advantage of your helpless situation. Therefore, you need to be very careful while choosing people on whom you confide your trust.  Keep in mind, never make it a habit of rushing to people for petty issues. It shall make you dependent on others and never let you come out of your comfort zone. Consequently, your individual growth will be restricted. Seeking help from others now and then also shows your incapability and incompetence to deal with a problem. Eventually, people will start avoiding you.  

Self Realization and Self Actualization... Let me start this post with a short story. It is a typical father-son conversation, but it is not stereotypical by any means... Father: Son, why are you sitting alone with a long face? Son: Nothing Dad, I just want to be alone. Father: That's absolutely fine...but whenever you want to talk about anything, I am always around. Son: (Sighs) Dad, please stay. (After a long pause) Can I say something? Father: (Smiles) Of course, go ahead. I am all ears. Son: Dad, I am feeling very lonely and depressed. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any idea where my life is heading. I am not able to find any course of action to be implemented.  My inner-self is at all time low.  I look back and I only find failures. I am feeling worthless and helpless. I am not able to handle the stress. I am losing it. It has also started taking a toll on my conduct. My anger is taking a toll on me. I have begun losing my friends because of my behavioral changes. I am losing awareness. I am losing happiness. I am losing myself. Dad, I am losing everything. (about to cry). Father: Relax son. Have a glass of water. (Calms him down and begins). Let me share a real-life incident with you which I underwent around 20 years back. That day, I got a salary hike, and I was returning home from the office. I had a scooter to commute those days. On that particular day, because of the heavy and relentless rain, I had to hire a public transport (bus) to come back home from the office. While I was on my way back home, I was jubilant. I was happy because I got a raise that day. It was like a dream come true. Whatmore, I got a seat to sit on the bus which was full. I was feeling very lucky and happy. I was on top of the world.  In due course, an elderly woman boarded the bus. She stood by my seat as there were no empty seats available. A few moments later, with an agonizing look, she expressed that she is tired and not able to stand. She wanted me to get up from the seat and allow her to sit. I was too high and busy in myself that I didn’t bother about her pain. Not even that, with a grinning smile, I made fun of her. I even passed her lousy comments. I was so important to me that time that I was not able to realize her misery. She was so disturbed that she left there and moved to the rear side of the bus. After some time, I turned back. Finally, she got a seat to sit. A girl, who whose age was around 20 had given her seat to her (old woman). I was stunned to see who that girl was. You will be shocked too. Do you want to know who was she? Son:  Absolutely...

It is virtually impossible to answer this question in a few words. In fact, one cannot overcome depression reading a few lines. Nonetheless, this post might be helpful. In short, negative thoughts, stress, expectations, idleness are some of the many reasons leading to depression. Well, we must always try to find out the source of our negative thoughts and then act on it. Please do refer this post to understand the flow of negativity. Most of the times, we don’t talk about these things. We keep things inside and that makes our condition worse. It is essential to pour out these emotions before they damage our thought process. Expressing is very important.  Remember, negativity can be converted to positivity if it is not retained inside you. We must talk to our loved ones about our feelings and try to connect with people. It helps a lot. Also, we must try to do things which we are good at , than to do things imposed on us. Moreover, we should try not to sit idle. Let us make ourselves available to the opportunities. Indulging in a hobby surely helps. Connecting to nature, going for jogging, playing a sport; these are very good mind and body detoxifiers. Reading something inspirational, listening to good music are also very useful in elevating the mood. Sometimes, it is very important to honor ourselves or give ourselves a treat. Recognition is a very important motivational tool.  Learning to say “NO” is also equally important. We must never overburden ourselves with work or thinking. Work should always be enjoyed. Remember, fighting depression is a continuous process. Never expect miracles overnight.

Before evaluating the differences, let's find out the similarity between both the attitude.  Did you notice that both the attitude have four consecutive letters in common-'LOSE'? You know what does it mean? It means that both the attitude(loser/nothing to lose) are provoked by a loss. Now, there are two possible conditions involving a loss.  You are on the verge of losing. You have already lost. Subsequently, when you encounter any of the above-mentioned situations,  it provokes either a 'nothing to lose' attitude or you develop a 'loser attitude'.   An example involving sports where you are on the verge of losing... Two players are playing a game of squash inside two different courts.  The game is of 5 sets. Both the players lose the first two sets. Obviously, the recovery seems extremely difficult hereon. Now, let us try to compare and analyze their respective attitude where one develops a loser attitude while the other develops a nothing to lose attitude.  The one with the ‘loser attitude:’ After losing the first two sets out of five, the person with a negative mindset starts considering himself as a loser even before the result of the game. It evokes fear inside him and he begins saying to himself that he cannot win from this particular game-situation. Eventually, he surrenders to a situation and showcases a ‘loser attitude’ in the subsequent game-set. This attitude fails to deliver miserably, no need to mention the outcome. The one with the ‘nothing to lose attitude.’   A person with a positive frame of mind sees things differently. After losing the first two sets, he sets himself free. Even he starts considering himself as a loser but with a different mindset. As soon as he accepts his loss, he starts seeing it as a different ball game altogether. It evokes a fearless attitude within him as he is already considering himself as a loser. He starts feeling that he cannot go down anymore and plays the rest of the game carefree and stress-free. Trust me, most of the times he is able to turn the tables around from nowhere, and an evident lose turns out to be a surprising victory. Let us consider a monetary example where the loss has already occurred: Two businessmen suffered a huge financial loss in their respective trades. The one with a loser attitude: The person with the loser attitude starts feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He is not able to sink that loss inside his mind. As a result, it never lets him overcome that loss or defeat. That fear of losing refrains him from starting again. As a result, he always considers himself a loser.  The one with a nothing to lose attitude: There is the other businessman who considers it as an opportunity, the opportunity to start from scratch, where he cannot go down beyond it. This attitude allows him to realize his mistakes so that he never repeats it again. Time for some Happy Realizations!!! Friends, we all lose on something at some point in time.  But what makes us a loser or winner depends...

Allow me to begin the write-up with a small story. It will enable you to understand and connect with the realizations better. It is just a conventional yet striking conversation inside the dressing room between the Captain and the Vice-Captain of a cricket team. To boot, the lesson learned from it is astounding. A gripping conversation: Captain: I don’t know, I am a bit confused whether I should bat at my usual batting position or should I bat next immediately after the fall of a wicket? Singh, who is customary to bat next is a not a very comfortable against spin. The previous two wickets which have fallen are of the spinner. Moreover, I think I can handle the spinners and the pressure better than him. Vice-Captain: Then, go for it captain. Who is stopping you? Trust your instincts. Stand by your self-belief. Captain: I discussed it with the coach. He does not seem to agree with me. He does not want any change in the batting line-up. My performance in the entire series has not been satisfactory. It is a very big reason why he is not backing up my decision. Vice-Captain: (Smiles). Captain, you are my idol. In fact, you are an idol for the entire team. You make everyone proud when it comes to making independent decisions on and off the field. Not many are convinced when you take an unorthodox independent decision. However, all the critics are answered after the result of the game, which is most of the times in our favor. It is your self-belief, which makes things happen. The entire team looks up to you when we get stuck in a panic situation. You have never allowed the temperature of the dressing room rise. You have provided the best of answers to others’ question. Having said that, I am sorry, but I am shocked to observe the uncertainty in your eyes right now. Why this uncertainty captain? You already have the answers to your questions. You can read the game better than anybody else in the team. Why are you not able to listen and abide by the answers to your questions? How can you allow just a poor performance in one series fade out your self-belief? How can you allow the coach to answer your questions, when you already have the answers? On top of that, you know that your answers are right. One more thing Captain, suppose you acknowledge the coach’s decision and if it proves to be wrong, we will either lose the best captain or a good coach. Yes, we will no longer be able to look up to you when it comes to making tough decisions in the way we used to. Also, neither you will ask the coach for the valuable inputs nor the coach will be able to extend his best support. Indeed, we have coaches and mentors who help us, assist us, and guide us. Nevertheless, we must never let them define us. Captain: Thank you for the advice brother. Now, I can...

To overcome fear, let's understand: What is Fear? Fear is just your mind's creation, a byproduct of overthinking, or too much anticipation about anything. It is about the future which has nothing to do with your present. It's better to consciously avoid the thoughts leading to fears. But I'm sure you were unable to do that, that's why you are here, seeking a solution in this article. Let's decode your fear... I feel the problem begins when you try to run away from it instead of facing it. And this is what lands you to fear most of the time. Sometimes, the anxiety about a future event gives way to stress. Gradually, stress makes you apprehensive. Finally, apprehension gives way to fear. Always remember that it is not the fear, but the fear of fear, which is your biggest fear. Let's come straight to the point: How to overcome fear? Well, you have to dive into the river to cross it. You cannot savor the food unless you taste it. It is as simple as that. Similarly, you cannot overcome your fear unless you feel it. And to overcome fear, you need to first accept the fact that you are fearful. And then, you need to listen to your fears carefully. Make sure you don't try to run away from it. Never try to find an escape route without facing it. It's a big blunder you are committing. This way, you'll never be able to win over that fear. You will never be able to prepare yourself to face your fear. You just cannot change the situations every time, make sure you are always in control to chose a response to it. When you have clarity about a response to a situation, you would not want to run away from it. It'll make you feel confident, not apprehensive about it. When there is clarity, you trust your instincts and back it with a positive attitude. You take the problem head-on. You do not overthink, and you do not fear, as simple as that!

Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning? Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely. Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally. It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it... My personal realizations: There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion. It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it. You know why I used to get hurt so badly? It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”  I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life. I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic. One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.” The connotation of  "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings" Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you. You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...

Do you only feel negative during this lockdown? With pain and helplessness all around, With your self-identity forced to switch roles, With a jolted normal for unpredictably long, The thought pop ups cannot be exciting. Infact most of them are negative... Relax... that's human! And it's not only your story. This is the first time we fall on the same page.  But maybe... this lockdown... most of us went all too far. Let's Address the Problem Fear... Dilemmas... Uncertainties... Anxiety... You are thinking too much about the future.  Overflowing thoughts drive you everywhere you don't want to reach. Now that lays the foundation of a quandary. Because when this unconscious flow of thoughts continues, it leads to mental diarrhea, which soon attacks your emotions.  Ahh... now that hurts! With thoughts already conflicting, this lockdown came up with another challenge... Managing emotions... a bigger task than managing mind. Do you know what's the result of mismanaged thoughts and emotions? Your crude feelings turn negative!! Once your feelings turn negative, no matter how hard you try, you cannot feel happy.  And that's what is happening to most of us.... sitting at homes... having nothing to do.  Bodies are locked down, but minds still wandering. Painful state this... densely negative!  The good news: We can get out of here. Let's talk about the revival now! How to Revive From State Where Feelings Turned Negative? Arrange a session You with Yourself where you are disconnected from the outside world.  No people, no cell phones, no distraction whatsoever... Start with a minimum of 30 min session whenever you get Time. Time... not a difficult thing to find during this lockdown... isn’t it? I agree some of my friends would get offended about that. And that's because there are many samaritans who volunteered to step out of their houses to serve people and nation in anyways. And there are also individuals who could not afford Me time as they were, and still are busy with their household chores. But I must say, sacrifice that 30 min of sleep even if you have to, but during this lockdown, everyone needs that session, that session of self-introspection. So what do you do in that session? Do nothing different! Quitely get back to basics... Remind yourself that everything started with your mind... overflowing with negative thoughts... for an extended period. And that's what touched the depth of feelings. So to revive your positive feelings, you need to get back to your thoughts. Go for it! Just sit comfortably, preferably with closed eyes, and observe your thoughts coming and leaving. Don't pay attention to any. Allow them to pass by. Stop participating.... stop involving with any thought... even the ones you call positive.              We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. — Buddha Why do you stop paying attention to positive thoughts? You might be wondering: No attention to negative thoughts... sounds logical! But why should I stop paying attention to positive thoughts? Because that's a ploy. That's deliberate from the mind to convince you to interact with thoughts. So that you hook to it... and finally get carried away by the flow of it. It's a mind's...

When we encounter a huge task, many of us surrender to it. The word ‘Huge’ describing a task itself begins to lose hope within us. However, is the task always daunting? Interestingly, the task is not huge, our mind makes it huge. Often, it is the burden of the responsibility and not the responsibility, which stresses our minds and breaks us from within. A task will take the same amount of time which it requires to get accomplished. The unnecessary burden created by our mind never entitles us to accomplish the task before time. Moreover, sizing the task itself is a problem. Sizing implies we are preparing our minds to make it an uphill task. Consequently, it keeps us away from initiating it. So, when we really need to accomplish a task, let us start doing it. It is the initiation, they say relieves half of the task's weight.  Sometimes, even if we start, the performance pressure to deliver starts reflecting in our performance. The mental overload of work, duties, and responsibilities creates a fear inside the minds, which keeps us away from indulgence and enjoyment of work. As a result, we try to run away from those tasks. We create a repulsion attitude towards it and finally, either we leave the task then and there, or we underperform.  How many times we have noticed that when we assure our minds to start a particular task from tomorrow but we accidentally start it casually today, we thoroughly enjoyed it. The task is performed even better and is accomplished well within the time limits. Yes, it happens, and it comes off because of the stress-free mental environment because of the evasion of the unwanted performance pressure. Hence, let us break the task into bits and take the bite one by one. It is equally important to take some rest in-between tasks which rejuvenate our spirit. The bigger we see a task, the larger it shall drain our energy and spirit. Remember, a smaller mouthful is chewed easily and relished more than the bigger one. Let us unburden ourselves to perform the best of our abilities and capabilities.