What is a self confession and why is it important?
What is Self Confession?
No one is perfect. It is quite human to commit mistakes and errors. However, the important thing is to take responsibility for the mistakes, take corrective measures to rectify it and make sure to never repeat it again.
Interestingly, mistakes are of two types:
Which gets noticed by others.
Which gets noticed only by the individual who committed it.
In this article, I am addressing the type two mistakes, which are committed solitarily, irrespective of whether anyone is around or not.
Yes, I am referring to the errors which get unnoticed by others, the mistakes in which the person committing it is only the witness.
Well, these are the mistakes which only our inner-self is aware of, the errors which we cannot accept and admit in front of others.
Thus, it becomes imperative to admit it in front of ourselves.
This confession of the mistake/error to oneself is nothing but a SELF CONFESSION.
Few such mistakes in which self-confession is important:
Forming a negative opinion about an unknown person
Taking the loved ones for granted
Getting carried away by the materialistic drives
Inner-self complexity and inferiority-superiority complex
Avoiding compassion
Pervert thoughts
Not expressing yourself
Unnecessary judgment about people
A discrepancy between your physical and mental appearance
Competition and comparison with others
Inability to say no to others
These are some of the examples in which only our inner-self is the witness. And cannot be apparently seen by others as these conditions are within an individual.
A few heartfelt Realizations:
As most of the above-mentioned mistakes are not apparently seen by others, it becomes extremely important to make self-confessions where we admit our errors and mistakes to ourselves.
Only when we admit it, we can rectify it to boost up our inner-self attributes like self-confidence and self-esteem.
Always remember, our instincts play a vital role in letting us know about our mistakes. Let us not avoid it just because we think nobody can see it or no one will get to know about it.
My dear friend, you are highly mistaken if you think likewise. Always remember, sooner or later, it will start reflecting in your attitude.
And finally, it shall transform into your behavior where it will become virtually impossible for you to hide your mistakes even from the outside world.
Let us never forget that our mind is extremely vulnerable and gets carried away easily. Self-confessions boost our inner-self to such an extent where even when we get alone time to think and do whatever we want to, we shall always be able to say no to ourselves from committing the things which are wrong.
The significance of self-confession:
Self-confessions help us to eliminate self-humiliation because when we are committing things which we know are wrong(mistakes), it leads to self-embarrassment and self-humiliation where we begin to curse and abuse ourselves. In the process, our self-love diminishes dramatically.
Let us sink into minds that self-love is the essence of quality living. Let us never neglect the mistakes. Be courageous to make self-confessions and...
Nothing hits you harder than the process of Self Realization and Self Actualization…
Self Realization and Self Actualization...
Let me start this post with a short story. It is a typical father-son conversation, but it is not stereotypical by any means...
Father: Son, why are you sitting alone with a long face?
Son: Nothing Dad, I just want to be alone.
Father: That's absolutely fine...but whenever you want to talk about anything, I am always around.
Son: (Sighs) Dad, please stay. (After a long pause) Can I say something?
Father: (Smiles) Of course, go ahead. I am all ears.
Son: Dad, I am feeling very lonely and depressed. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any idea where my life is heading. I am not able to find any course of action to be implemented. My inner-self is at all time low.
I look back and I only find failures. I am feeling worthless and helpless. I am not able to handle the stress. I am losing it. It has also started taking a toll on my conduct. My anger is taking a toll on me. I have begun losing my friends because of my behavioral changes. I am losing awareness. I am losing happiness. I am losing myself. Dad, I am losing everything. (about to cry).
Father: Relax son. Have a glass of water. (Calms him down and begins). Let me share a real-life incident with you which I underwent around 20 years back.
That day, I got a salary hike, and I was returning home from the office. I had a scooter to commute those days. On that particular day, because of the heavy and relentless rain, I had to hire a public transport (bus) to come back home from the office. While I was on my way back home, I was jubilant. I was happy because I got a raise that day. It was like a dream come true.
Whatmore, I got a seat to sit on the bus which was full. I was feeling very lucky and happy. I was on top of the world.
In due course, an elderly woman boarded the bus. She stood by my seat as there were no empty seats available. A few moments later, with an agonizing look, she expressed that she is tired and not able to stand. She wanted me to get up from the seat and allow her to sit. I was too high and busy in myself that I didn’t bother about her pain.
Not even that, with a grinning smile, I made fun of her. I even passed her lousy comments. I was so important to me that time that I was not able to realize her misery. She was so disturbed that she left there and moved to the rear side of the bus. After some time, I turned back. Finally, she got a seat to sit. A girl, who whose age was around 20 had given her seat to her (old woman).
I was stunned to see who that girl was. You will be shocked too. Do you want to know who was she?
Son: Absolutely...
What is the difference between ‘Loser attitude and Nothing to lose attitude’?
Before evaluating the differences, let's find out the similarity between both the attitude.
Did you notice that both the attitude have four consecutive letters in common-'LOSE'?
You know what does it mean?
It means that both the attitude(loser/nothing to lose) are provoked by a loss.
Now, there are two possible conditions involving a loss.
You are on the verge of losing.
You have already lost.
Subsequently, when you encounter any of the above-mentioned situations, it provokes either a 'nothing to lose' attitude or you develop a 'loser attitude'.
An example involving sports where you are on the verge of losing...
Two players are playing a game of squash inside two different courts. The game is of 5 sets. Both the players lose the first two sets. Obviously, the recovery seems extremely difficult hereon.
Now, let us try to compare and analyze their respective attitude where one develops a loser attitude while the other develops a nothing to lose attitude.
The one with the ‘loser attitude:’
After losing the first two sets out of five, the person with a negative mindset starts considering himself as a loser even before the result of the game. It evokes fear inside him and he begins saying to himself that he cannot win from this particular game-situation. Eventually, he surrenders to a situation and showcases a ‘loser attitude’ in the subsequent game-set. This attitude fails to deliver miserably, no need to mention the outcome.
The one with the ‘nothing to lose attitude.’
A person with a positive frame of mind sees things differently. After losing the first two sets, he sets himself free. Even he starts considering himself as a loser but with a different mindset. As soon as he accepts his loss, he starts seeing it as a different ball game altogether. It evokes a fearless attitude within him as he is already considering himself as a loser. He starts feeling that he cannot go down anymore and plays the rest of the game carefree and stress-free. Trust me, most of the times he is able to turn the tables around from nowhere, and an evident lose turns out to be a surprising victory.
Let us consider a monetary example where the loss has already occurred:
Two businessmen suffered a huge financial loss in their respective trades.
The one with a loser attitude:
The person with the loser attitude starts feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He is not able to sink that loss inside his mind. As a result, it never lets him overcome that loss or defeat. That fear of losing refrains him from starting again. As a result, he always considers himself a loser.
The one with a nothing to lose attitude:
There is the other businessman who considers it as an opportunity, the opportunity to start from scratch, where he cannot go down beyond it. This attitude allows him to realize his mistakes so that he never repeats it again.
Time for some Happy Realizations!!!
Friends, we all lose on something at some point in time. But what makes us a loser or winner depends...
It is your responsibility to complete the process; Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion
Let us fathom a difference among sympathy, empathy, and compassion.
Sympathy is to feel sorry for others’ misfortunes, to feel pity for someone’s pain and plight.
When you raise the level of sympathy feeling what others are going through, it is Empathy. Empathy is a more intense feeling than sympathy where you sense the pain of others by stepping into their shoes.
If empathy is to feel the pain of others by stepping into their shoes, Compassion is to walk wearing those shoes. It is the conversion of feelings into action, doing something to relieve their pain.
As it comes:
You are fortunate if you can sympathize. Others' plight does not affect everyone. Kudos! Humanity prevails within you.
But is it enough?
No, it's not. With sympathy comes responsibility, responsibility to convert those feelings into actions. Sympathy only cannot solve their problems.
My dear friend, sympathy leading to empathy, and empathy leading to compassion is a process, which must be completed. It may not be possible every time but trust me, it is possible most of the times.
You can always extend either your tangible or intangible support.
Let us assume two instances from daily life, one seeking tangible support and the other seeking intangible support. Let’s find out whether you are sympathetic, empathetic or compassionate?
The instance seeking your intangible support...
Not only you are surrounded by life but also death surrounds you. Let's be practical. Someone known to you dies once in a while. And in this situation, feeling sympathetic about the loss sitting at your home is not doing any good to the ones who lost their loved one.
If you feel bad about it, go to them and express your sympathy. Trust me, even a few encouraging words is an act of compassion here.
It is because this is the best you can do in this situation. No one can overturn this unfavorable situation. But what you can offer here is your intangible support.
Never refrain from showing up to people experiencing these situations. Sink into the mind that people acknowledge your face in a funeral more than in a celebration.
If they are facing it today, it can be you tomorrow. If you need shoulders, offer a shoulder first.
The instance seeking your tangible support...
You see an old disabled person; worn clothes, as skinny as a rail, helplessly lying down on the roadside.
Instinctively, you feel sympathy towards him. ‘Cruel life,’ you mutter to yourself. A few thoughts of kindness follow your ongoing feelings.
Dear friend... You are right until now. But the problem is you change thereon…
You start putting allegations as per your convenience… on God, destiny, government, country, people, and so on. Ironically, you blame everyone for their plight except yourself.
You feel lighter because you think you bailed yourself out of that situation. Sorry but to say the least, you step back at the action time. It is the same case when you want the street drains clean after throwing garbage inside it.
Next day, you come across the other incident of the same genre and repeat the same process.
Sorry but this is happening with...
How to Revive From State Where Feelings Turned Negative?
Do you only feel negative during this lockdown?
With pain and helplessness all around,
With your self-identity forced to switch roles,
With a jolted normal for unpredictably long,
The thought pop ups cannot be exciting.
Infact most of them are negative...
Relax... that's human! And it's not only your story.
This is the first time we fall on the same page.
But maybe... this lockdown... most of us went all too far.
Let's Address the Problem
Fear... Dilemmas... Uncertainties... Anxiety... You are thinking too much about the future.
Overflowing thoughts drive you everywhere you don't want to reach.
Now that lays the foundation of a quandary.
Because when this unconscious flow of thoughts continues, it leads to mental diarrhea, which soon attacks your emotions.
Ahh... now that hurts!
With thoughts already conflicting, this lockdown came up with another challenge...
Managing emotions... a bigger task than managing mind.
Do you know what's the result of mismanaged thoughts and emotions?
Your crude feelings turn negative!!
Once your feelings turn negative, no matter how hard you try, you cannot feel happy.
And that's what is happening to most of us.... sitting at homes... having nothing to do.
Bodies are locked down, but minds still wandering.
Painful state this... densely negative!
The good news:
We can get out of here.
Let's talk about the revival now!
How to Revive From State Where Feelings Turned Negative?
Arrange a session You with Yourself where you are disconnected from the outside world.
No people, no cell phones, no distraction whatsoever...
Start with a minimum of 30 min session whenever you get Time.
Time... not a difficult thing to find during this lockdown... isn’t it?
I agree some of my friends would get offended about that.
And that's because there are many samaritans who volunteered to step out of their houses to serve people and nation in anyways.
And there are also individuals who could not afford Me time as they were, and still are busy with their household chores.
But I must say, sacrifice that 30 min of sleep even if you have to, but during this lockdown, everyone needs that session, that session of self-introspection.
So what do you do in that session?
Do nothing different! Quitely get back to basics...
Remind yourself that everything started with your mind... overflowing with negative thoughts... for an extended period.
And that's what touched the depth of feelings.
So to revive your positive feelings, you need to get back to your thoughts.
Go for it! Just sit comfortably, preferably with closed eyes, and observe your thoughts coming and leaving. Don't pay attention to any. Allow them to pass by.
Stop participating.... stop involving with any thought... even the ones you call positive.
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. —
Buddha
Why do you stop paying attention to positive thoughts?
You might be wondering:
No attention to negative thoughts... sounds logical!
But why should I stop paying attention to positive thoughts?
Because that's a ploy.
That's deliberate from the mind to convince you to interact with thoughts.
So that you hook to it... and finally get carried away by the flow of it.
It's a mind's...
Best Self-Improvement Books in 2020
Have you been hunting for ways to transform into a happier self?
It is time to call shots and make some big changes in life.
Well, little did you know but creating a happy bubble around you is easy-peasy. The secret lies in unleashing the potential in you so that you become your best version.
Kiss goodbye to anxiety because happiness is not hard-found. Being happy is easier than you think.
So, are you great at chalking out plans and strategies but not quite efficient in implementing them? No problem! Digging into the best of self-improvement books can help you rule out every little hurdle, standing in the way of you and a good life. Believe it or not but self-help books work like magic.
Taking cues from the insights shared by the greatest minds in the world, reading lines that are inspiring and healing and getting a hang of simple, developmental exercises, the perks of engaging in self-improvement books are way more than you can imagine.
Wondering where to start? Don’t worry because here’s a curated list of 10 best self-improvement books of 2020
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
If you’ve been dreaming of taking pleasure in a fairytale life, Big Magic is a must-read. The author has splendidly jotted down stories, spilling beans about her experiences with magic and creativity. Read more to find out what makes her life so much happy and fulfilling.
Buy Now Here - Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Time Management Secrets by Martin Manser
Do you struggle to execute a job perfectly when your plate is too full? Well, Time Management Secrets is a winning aid for you. Explore the fundamentals of time management and give your career the much-needed wings. Read about the ways of strategizing and recognizing your priorities. The book includes priceless words of wisdom from experts in business circles. Learn the ropes of necessary work ethics, analyze the importance of communication and every other knick-knack, important to hit the easy-street.
Buy Now Here : Time Management: Collins Business Secrets
Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
Is your life topsy-turvy? Well, Rachel Hollis is here to tell you that it is okay to have a messy life. However, to make it a joyful space and make life a smooth-sailing, one must get over the bait of procrastinating and lying to oneself. It is a big hurdle that does a lot of damage. Girl Wash Your Face is a book that enlightens you about the 20 odd lies, people love telling themselves to procrastinate and hold back.
Buy Now Here : Girl, Wash Your Face
Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes
Shonda Rimes is not an unknown name if you loved to binge-watch shows like ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ The book is not a fancy tenement of tricks and tips for a better life. Instead, Rimes highlights the changes she witnessed after she said ‘YES’ for a year. It is a chronicle of episodes that only got better when she started nodding ‘YES’ for everything in life. Her...
Happiness is awareness and appreciation of the now
Some of us are busy equating happiness to the past instances while many are awaiting the happiness in the future. Only a few of us are able to realize that happiness is right here, right now in the present moment. If you don't belong to this minority category, this article is a must-read for you.
In-depth Realizations...
The past is gone, and the future is yet to come. You know it too. But there is a reason why I am stating the obvious.
I say so to make you realize that the past cannot be changed, likewise, the future cannot be controlled. You can only take care of the things happening NOW.
It is only the present moment which always stays with you. Anyone and everyone might leave you except the present moment, which will always be with you until your last breath.
If you agree to it, then allow yourself to enjoy its company and make it your best friend...How? Let us find out:
The essence to feel:
To enjoy the present moment, the first thing you need to know is that Feel is the essence of Happiness. So the first thing you need to do is to revive the feel.
But it is not that easy as it sounds. It is because your thoughts are dominant over your ability to feel the present moment.
You need to realize that Feel is inversely proportional to Thoughts. If you are thinking more, it means you are feeling less.
And if you are doing so, the upcoming part of the article is not something you can afford to miss:
Look, I am not saying that thinking is not important. Of course, it's important. Unless you think, you will not be able to plan. Planning is important to get ready to face the upcoming situations.
Also, your professional atmosphere requires thinking. So yes, positive and productive thinking is important.
But you need to understand that it is not thinking but negative thinking, which needs to be avoided. To avoid negative thinking, I just want you to feel more and think less.
The process of negative thinking...
What is the current scenario?
When you are always thinking, you are not realizing that simultaneously, you are less responsive to your sense organs. Let us explore how thinking is taking a toll on your sense organs.
Eyes- You are not able to view the beauty of the nature surrounding you.
Nose- You are unable to feel your blessed breaths, which itself is a form of meditation.
Ears- You are unable to listen to the beautiful melodies...sounds of nature, delicate words by your loved ones, and most importantly, you are not listening to your inner voice.
Tongue- You are not able to feel the food bites...You are more concerned thinking about what you are eating than to feel the fact that you are eating.
Skin- You are unable to sense the gentle winds which want to nourish you, the beautiful touch of your loved ones, and many such things.
Do you know, just by sensing any of the sense organs completely, the feelings you experience can be as...
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO LOOK HAPPY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE DESPITE BEING SAD?
No, you must never keep your sadness inside you. Express yourself out. Let people know that you are unhappy. Let them know that you are feeling isolated and depressed. Surely, you will feel a lot better and positive.
Satirically, sometimes it may be the situation wherein people in front of whom you want to look happy could be the ones who are responsible for your sadness. Yes, there are situations when the reason for your desolation are the individuals who pretend to be yours; could be anyone from your family or friends. As a result, it becomes extremely tough to flood out your feelings towards them. Eventually, what you do is retain your painful emotions inside and hurt yourself even more.
Remember, in any case; it is never advisable to preserve the sentiments inside you. Summon into your mind that it is even more important to express your true feelings towards those people, in particular. They are ones whom you talk to or meet them daily. You cannot escape from them. Keeping your emotions inside can ruin your life completely. Let the feelings flow out.
However, sometimes it is only your misconceptions about a person which is responsible for your sadness. Shockingly, the person whom you are holding accountable for your sadness doesn’t even know about it. Don't you feel that the individual concerned must know about it? Yes, you owe him/her at least that much.
Sometimes, you might feel that your expressiveness might lose that person; Rest assured, you will find yourself.
Why is Self-Motivation important?
You might face many situations in life where you know that you did well. Also, for that, you seek appreciation from others. You might deserve it, but sometimes you don't get it. It is quite disheartening.
Friends, you need to comprehend that it is a cruel world out there. The sooner you realize it, the better it will be for you.
Everyone is primarily concerned about themselves. All are busy exploring their ways to healthy and happy living. Nobody is interested in knowing your credentials and achievements. Whatmore, you are also one of them. Moreover, there is no harm in it because life is equally tough for everyone. Therefore, instead of criticizing them, start motivating yourself.
It’s a much-deserved reward after a long, tiring day to remind you that you did great today. It not only uplifts your mood but also enables you to push your limits. It creates a belief of satisfaction and self-confidence.
A self -motivated person never looks outside for happiness, as the happiness resides inside them. It is vital to applaud for own-self because you only know how much effort has been put to make things possible.
Self-motivation decorates your spirit with strength and self -empowerment. It uplifts you to do things with more vigor and confidence. It helps you enjoy the success. It also helps you to accept failures, which pushes you to convert that failure into success.
Therefore, always treat yourself when you do something good. Keep yourself boosted and motivated. Always keep the spirits high.
Express yourself to flush out the negativity
Allow me to begin with a small composition of mine:
Speak
Speak speak... you speak
SPEAK WITH AUTHORITY, SPEAK WITH CLARITY... make sure you get heard when you speak
Irrespective of the language YOU SPEAK... as long as you have a voice, you speak
don’t wary the criticisms and the questions ... as long as you are right, you speak
Don’t worry about losing them, FOR THE SAKE OF FINDING YOURSELF, you speak.
To spit out the negativity, for the sake of positivity... gather courage only once to speak
on their face and never behind, as long as they are wrong, you speak
FOR THE SAKE YOUR RESPECT AND ESTEEM... SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK... YOU SPEAK
Hope you liked it!
Let's jump right into the nitty-gritty of expressing:
Expressing is an introduction of your true self to the outside world. Whatever you are inside, just exhibit it outside.
What you are and whatever you feel, just express yourself. Never feel afraid of it.
Always remember:
“You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” - Claire Baker
And this applies to everyone. When you have the freedom of expression, use it to your advantage.
You are probably wondering:
Why is expressing important?
Expressing is your deliberate attempt to convert the negativity felt into positivity.
In the world full of lies and betrayals, it is difficult to stop feeling negative. But you need to understand that feeling negative is not a problem.
The problem arises when you keep that negativity within you and do not express it out.
But when you express out, you unburden yourself and flush out the negativity.
To maintain transparency between your physical and mental appearance.
In case you don't know:
There are two facets of your appearance- physical and mental.
Expressing acts as a mirror between the two. It ensures that whatever you feel from inside, you present it outside.
This way, you are true to yourself and to others. There is no retention of negative feelings inside you to attract other negative energies.
You always ride high on yourself via expressing.
When you express your true self to others, it means you value your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs. No wonder, expressing is one of the best ways to develop self-love.
The quote above says it all...
When you express, you expose yourself in front of others. You reveal your true identity to them.
In the process, people might get hurt. Many people might not like you. They can call you rude, offensive and aggressive. They might misunderstand you.
However, the ones who deserve to be in your life will understand you gradually. They will accept you the way you are.
No wonder, these people will be less. But they will be the ones whom you will find by your side every time you need them.
It's your identity, this is the way you always are, independent of the person, time and situation. Feel proud!
Look:
Being nude is always better than being naked.
Sounds silly? It's not:
Being nude is your choice.
It is when you uncover yourself by yourself. It‘s your discretion to expose yourself to others. It is the transparency you...