What is an Ideal Condition and can we attain it?

An ideology about something, which is matchless and errorless is an Ideal condition. It is the perfect situation, which one seeks to attain. A search of the ideal condition has been going on since ages but nobody has the perfect answer to it. It is the perception of a situation, which we desire. It is in the abstract form which we wish to realize practically. Most of us desire an ideal condition. Similarly, the definition of an ideal condition for every individual is different. Moreover, it's definition keeps on changing. Almost every individual craves for an ideal condition out of every situation but does everyone reach there? The matter of fact is that it is virtually impossible to reach there every time. The quest for perfection is fine, but to believe that everything will be perfect itself is a contradiction. What happens is, when a situation is concluded, most of us feel that it could have been better. Subsequently, the reach to the ideal condition remains distant from us. Moreover, many times, on the verge of actualizing our current ideal condition, we start craving for something else simultaneously. As a result, the feel of attainment is denied. Eventually, an ideal condition still remains the desired condition.  One interesting observation which can be concluded is that there is only one ideal condition, 'CHANGE' because it is the change, which is bound to happen. It also adds to the reason why our desire for an ideal condition keeps on changing.  Let us keep on trying.  Let us keep on grinning while bearing the hard knocks. Let us never allow the desire for an ideal condition distress us and kill our now.  Let us enjoy the never-ending journey to the ideal condition.        

How to stop feeling embarrassed?

Let us take a dig at every element of feeling embarrassed one by one... What is Embarrassment? Embarrassment is the feeling of awkwardness felt publicly or socially. This awkwardness is because of a sudden awakening of self-consciousness when you get the unwanted attention from people. Yes, the element 'people' is an obvious element attached to feeling embarrassed. It is not realized by oneself unless others make you realize the awkwardness. Feeling embarrassed is completely different from feeling ashamed which is a self-realization. Feeling embarrassed is a public bearing while feeling ashamed is a private bearing. Your embarrassment is a fun or a victory moment for others, not for you. Please do one thing... Trigger your thinking mode and try to recall an instance when you got embarrassed. Ask yourself whether you would have felt the same if it would have happened when you were alone? Hmmm...now you are getting closer to unlock the mysteries of feeling embarrassed.  Let us assume an instance: You are on stage delivering a speech in front of a huge crowd. After your speech is over and just when you are about to step down, your feet stumble and you fall down. It's an awkward moment for you. But remember, you do not feel embarrassed till now. Now what happens is that everyone starts laughing at you.  As a result of this reaction of people, your conscious mind feels the awkwardness, which starts reflecting in your facial expressions and body language. Finally, you feel embarrassed.  Now, let us assume the same incident when you are rehearsing and no one is around... In this case, there is no one to judge you. There is no one to joke and laugh at you. And so, your self-consciousness is not aroused. As a result, either you ignore it or you laugh it off...Finally, you don't feel embarrassed. A keen observation: The element ‘people’ is the determining factor in both the assumptions.   But beware, I am not referring to the instances of embarrassment in which you are wrong or guilty. I am pointing out the silly moments which don't deserve to be a cause of your suffering. When you are actually wrong and you get caught publically, you will be insulted and humiliated. And remember, humiliation cuts even deeper than the embarrassment. Guilty instance 1: You cheat on your wife and you get caught. Guilty instance 2: Your lie gets caught publically. In both the instances, you actually are the culprit and be ready to face the wrath. The wrath, which will be far more than just an embarrassment. You can call it a humiliation. Maybe, an immediate apology could be an escape from the situation. But I am sorry, I cannot comment much on these situations.  Let us not divert from the topic. We can talk about humiliation, maybe in one of my upcoming articles. As of now, let us focus on the how to stop feeling embarrassed. Heartfelt Realizations: My dear friend, I don't think that people are to be blamed for your embarrassments. They are not waiting for the moments to laugh at you, make fun of you. But if...

How can anyone feel positive with so much negativity around?

 The world is full of negative energies and negative people around us. There are many instances which we see, hear, read and subsequently feel every day. The unnatural deaths due to deadly diseases, sudden accidents, brutal rapes, fatal crimes; moreover the betrayals, hypocrisy, jealousy and many more…you are bound to feel negative. But, this is one way of feeling it. Let us introduce ourselves to another way of looking at things. Despite all of the negativity happening around us, we also have all the reasons to feel content. We have a shelter to shed, food to eat, water to drink, money to spend. On top of that, WE HAVE TIME TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE while most of the people do not have time to breathe freely. Compare yourself, but with the ones who can only dream of living your life. STOP COMPLAINING. You have all the right reasons to feel positive. Start feeling and enjoying happiness NOW. Last but not the least, follow compassion. Helping others and making others happy is a definite way to feel happy and positive.  

You Lose Via Expectations…

When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative.  Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations? Why do you expect and from whom do you expect? In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation. Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish. Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection. Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations. The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations? The never-ending expectation process: Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day. Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people. You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them. In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.  Let me bombard a few questions on you... If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations? Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it. Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong. Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...

HOW CAN ONE STOP GETTING AFFECTED WHEN SURROUNDED BY NEGATIVITY/NEGATIVE PEOPLE AROUND?

Ok, let me second that negative people and things surround you. Simultaneously, don't you feel that an individual or a situation detrimental to you could be positive for others? Moreover, don't you think it is entirely practicable that others find you cynical? Having said that, does that make you negative? No, it does not. One thing you need to realize is every individual perceive people and situations according to him/her. I am sorry but only seeing negativity implies that you are wearing a defective pair of lenses. Please stop playing the blame game. Always remember that you can never get affected by others when you have a dominant and a powerful inner-self.  Straight out, getting carried away by negativity emitted by people and situations is your incompetency to deal with it. Feeling cynical because of others implies that you are not under the influence of your aura. It indicates that you are dwelling on others' aura. Summon into mind that YOU are the only reason for your negativity or positivity. You cannot get affected by others if you have a prestigious and powerful inner self. Moreover, one more thing you need to understand is that you should not stay quiet if you have an opinion. Speak up. Express yourself. Let people know what you feel. Flushing out emotional feelings then and there always makes you feel lighter. Subsequently, it enables you to keep away from negativity. Retaining things inside you gives birth to negativity. Eventually, you start playing the blame game. Stop doing it.  

A jack of all cards can compete with four kings…

Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning? Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely. Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally. It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it... My personal realizations: There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion. It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it. You know why I used to get hurt so badly? It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”  I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life. I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic. One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.” The connotation of  "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings" Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you. You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...

Is Thinking Good or Bad?

Is Thinking Good or Bad?
Straight out, positive thinking is good, while negative thinking is bad. But this answer is not that simple than it appears.  The question, whether thinking is good or bad, is a very subjective question. It is subjective because the answer to it varies from person to person, and situation to situation. Most of us might have answers to this question based on our real-life experiences. According to people who have sweet memories attached to thinking, thinking might have a positive connotation. Likewise, thinking can have a negative interpretation in the opinion of people who have been often hit by thinking adversely.  Let us try to analyze the two conditions when thinking is good.  1. FAVOURABLE CONDITION Practically, when situations are favorable and everything in the personal and professional sphere is happening according to you, your approach towards life-situations is positive by default. Yes, your thinking is bound to be bright and spirited. It is because the dark side/ negative side of the mind is untouched, and you are not tested. 2. DEMANDING CONDITION There are also situations which demand thinking; the state of affairs where thinking is an essence. Few instances...a student solving a mathematical problem will obviously require thinking. A teenager obviously needs to think about his/her career opportunities. An artist, a blogger, a businessman, a serviceman, all require thinking in their professional spheres. In these instances, your mind is thinking productively and therefore emits positivity. Now, let us try to comprehend the conditions when thinking is bad. 1. HOSTILE CONDITION The mind often falls prey to the unfriendly situations where you are unable to cope with the unfavorable changes. Unexpected daily-life problems, failures and losses, mishaps and misfortunes are some of the situations when your mind is not able to sink in the turnaround. Your best friend Stress is always with you in these situations. Subsequently, thoughts, which are obviously negative at that time, does not allow you to move on. Finally, your mind gets stuck with those thoughts and positivity is denied. 2. IDLE CONDITION You might undergo phases and situations in life when you are not doing anything. Even in everyday life, you are not working all the time. That particular time(the idle time) does not demand thinking. Avoidance of thinking is a must at this very time. On the contrary, instead of feeling the moments of solitude, you consume the mental energies in unnecessary thinking. By and by, components like inner self-complexities and insecurities begin to add fuel to your thoughts. Finally, grudges, jealousies, comparisons are the extracts from the negative thinking, evolving out of idleness. No wonder, positivity is denied. Time for some Happy Realizations... Positive/productive thinking is a boon while idle/unproductive thinking is a bane. Positive thinking can make you while negative thinking can break you. There are also times when you don't want to think, but you are not able to get rid of negative thoughts. I know it is not easy but you know what, it is not difficult either. The best way you can do it through meditation. Meditation is the best way where you...

How to deal with negative emotions which are dominant over my happiness?

First of all, you are not a robot, who will not feel anything. It is quite human to feel things and allow the emotions act accordingly. However, what creates a problem is staying in the same mode for an elongated time. It is very healthy to experience emotions. Nonetheless, what's important is never hold the emotions inside you over a long period. It is equally essential to treat the negative emotions same as the positive emotions. A person who treats a failure same as his/her success doesn’t have to search for happiness outside.  There are few things which will help you to stay away from negativity: -A healthy body holds a healthy brain. This mind helps us to make decisions. Therefore, eat healthy to think healthy. - Meditate for inner peace and happiness. The people who always stay happy and stress-free are the ones who know how to connect with their inner self.   -It is equally important to connect with people. Therefore, love, laugh, enjoy with the people around you.  The World itself is an inspiration.   - Our surrounding plays a significant role in our upbringing. Therefore, it is important to have good friends; few friends doesn't matter.  -Never look for a  reason to be happy. You, yourself are the biggest reason for your happiness. -Treat yourself on small achievements. Always try to be self-motivated. -Make peace with your past. Never over-think about situations that hurt you in the past. -Be compassionate.Make somebody happy. It creates a euphoric sensation within you and makes you a better person. Be kind and generous to people who are less privileged than you.  You know yourself better than others. So, start listening to yourself and stay away from negativity.  

Only You Have The Right Answers To Your Questions…

Allow me to begin the write-up with a small story. It will enable you to understand and connect with the realizations better. It is just a conventional yet striking conversation inside the dressing room between the Captain and the Vice-Captain of a cricket team. To boot, the lesson learned from it is astounding. A gripping conversation: Captain: I don’t know, I am a bit confused whether I should bat at my usual batting position or should I bat next immediately after the fall of a wicket? Singh, who is customary to bat next is a not a very comfortable against spin. The previous two wickets which have fallen are of the spinner. Moreover, I think I can handle the spinners and the pressure better than him. Vice-Captain: Then, go for it captain. Who is stopping you? Trust your instincts. Stand by your self-belief. Captain: I discussed it with the coach. He does not seem to agree with me. He does not want any change in the batting line-up. My performance in the entire series has not been satisfactory. It is a very big reason why he is not backing up my decision. Vice-Captain: (Smiles). Captain, you are my idol. In fact, you are an idol for the entire team. You make everyone proud when it comes to making independent decisions on and off the field. Not many are convinced when you take an unorthodox independent decision. However, all the critics are answered after the result of the game, which is most of the times in our favor. It is your self-belief, which makes things happen. The entire team looks up to you when we get stuck in a panic situation. You have never allowed the temperature of the dressing room rise. You have provided the best of answers to others’ question. Having said that, I am sorry, but I am shocked to observe the uncertainty in your eyes right now. Why this uncertainty captain? You already have the answers to your questions. You can read the game better than anybody else in the team. Why are you not able to listen and abide by the answers to your questions? How can you allow just a poor performance in one series fade out your self-belief? How can you allow the coach to answer your questions, when you already have the answers? On top of that, you know that your answers are right. One more thing Captain, suppose you acknowledge the coach’s decision and if it proves to be wrong, we will either lose the best captain or a good coach. Yes, we will no longer be able to look up to you when it comes to making tough decisions in the way we used to. Also, neither you will ask the coach for the valuable inputs nor the coach will be able to extend his best support. Indeed, we have coaches and mentors who help us, assist us, and guide us. Nevertheless, we must never let them define us. Captain: Thank you for the advice brother. Now, I can...

Do I always need to justify my actions to people?

Success and failure are brothers from different mothers. You try hard but the end result is not always in your favor. It is the time when people start judging you and even ask for justifications for your downfall or failure. Straight out, you need to appreciate the fact that your actions were inspired by none other than you. You did what you felt was right. People who can accept and understand it will agree to it. They will always back your decision. On the other hand, those who disagree; your hundreds of justifications will be in vain. Trust me, it is impossible to clarify your actions to everybody. People perceive what they want to as per their convenience and understanding. Moreover, why do you need to give justifications for your committed actions? A decision taken can have both the conditions possible. Either it will be right or it will be wrong. Be brave enough to take the responsibility of any condition. Why are you giving justifications to others and authorizing them to take a call on your decision? Also, the definition of right and wrong vary from person to person. Subsequently, neither it is possible nor it is your responsibility to make everyone happy. You don’t owe any justifications to anyone except to your time. Obliging others with your justifications is a big question on your self-belief and self-importance. Therefore, it is entirely your responsibility to take a stand for your actions. Always be loyal to your time as you cannot predict how much you have. Do things what the time demands and not what the people demand. It is the justification for your time, not people, which eases your life journey.      

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