Am I right or am I wrong?
This question comes to your mind before and after any action. Let us try to find an answer.
Dear friend, you have your right-wrong beliefs in different spheres- personal, professional, political, economic and so on. But a person’s life mainly revolves around two spheres-personal and professional.
Involving these two spheres, let us take the help of illustrations to unlock the right and wrong beliefs.
You can have the right and wrong beliefs about:
Let us take a situation-based instance from the personal sphere…
If I ask you… Is God right or wrong? This question sounds weird, but trust me it’s logical. Please answer it…
Did you feel that your answer is biased to your current situation? Confused? Let me clear this out for you.
Suppose, your today is a fairytale with happiness all around. No wonder, for you, God is absolutely right!
God forbid but assume the other side… You surfaced a sudden loss or a failure. Something shattered your life and there’s sadness all around. If I ask you the same question, God will be wrong.
Yes, it happens with almost every individual.
Your answer today is dependent on your current situation. You felt it, right? And this happens with most of us. The spontaneity to react to a situation bypasses the concepts of right and wrong.
Let us take the example of people in your professional sphere…
If I ask you whether your boss is right or wrong?
Your answer will be based on the current tuning with him.
The day when he applauds you or offers you incentives or talks about your salary raise, he is right. But the day when he screams at you or overburdens you with work, the same boss is wrong.
The same thinking is applicable when you are the boss…The day you see your employee devoting extra time to work, cracking a deal, achieving targets, he is right… and when he takes long leaves, asks for a salary hike, commits mistakes, he is wrong.
One observation drawn is you adjust your right and wrong as per time and situation you are in…
Let us find out whether this adjustment is justified…
Here’s the interesting part…
You are just another person who makes a choice as per your convenience of time and situation. Likewise, others are doing it. And there is nothing wrong with it.
My dear friend, you are just a slave to our priorities. Your right and wrong are molded as per time and situation you in. It is all about your priorities and you need not feel sorry for the same. It is the practicality of the real world. And there is nothing much you can change about it. So let us stop judging people and situations, and stop labeling them as right or wrong…
An eye opener…
When your life is loaded with materialistic options, you might feel that thinking always about the money is wrong. But God forbid, when you cannot fulfill your necessities of life, all you want is money.
Now tell me whether you are right or wrong? Will you judge yourself now?
I am sure you’ll not…
Time for in-depth realizations!!!
You define your right and wrong based on your own judgments, experiences, understanding, and knowledge. And it is fine.
But do you know what is unacceptable?
It’s when you allow people to define your right and wrong…Yes, it’s unacceptable.
The people’s role:
Knowingly or unknowingly, there are many instances where you allow people to decide your right or wrong.
Na na…never do that. You can never make the correct decisions. Let them guide you but never authorize them to define you. I may sound too direct but this is what I believe in. This is what I have learned from my experience. Listen to everybody but allow yourself to make a call.
What happens is when your decision proves right, you are the person responsible for it. It helps you to make bold and independent decisions and always keeps you self-motivated.
Even if the decision taken proves wrong, you won’t criticize anyone for it, you will know the exact loopholes which shall go down as a wonderful experience. It will make you a responsible individual where you won’t repeat the mistakes again.
Yes, always listen to everybody but never get influenced by others’ responses to a situation. Remember, nothing and nobody can teach you worthy life-lessons than your mistakes. Mistakes and failures are the gateways to experience. No matter how smart and knowledgeable you are, it is the experience which outsmarts every other quality.
It happens frequently that people’s right is wrong according to you. Beware… never commit to it because when it proves to be wrong, it can cause never-ending pain and regret. Your self-love gets affected.
Don’t let others dictate the terms for you. Trust your instincts and gut-feel at decision-time so that it could be counted as an experience, irrespective of the outcome. Always remember that the worst outcome leads to the best of experience. There is nothing called as a ‘negative experience’.
You must be familiar with the word ‘debate’. It is quite popular in schools, colleges, students, and friends. It is just an exchange of thoughts between people having a difference of opinion… that’s it. And this is the way we learn new things, right? Nobody is right or wrong in a debate. Now I hope you are gradually unlocking your right-wrong mysteries.
Parameters which always remain constant:
Keep doing whatever you want to but never forget that eventually, you have to settle your accounts with your karma.
You can’t get away with everything saying that there is nothing called as right or wrong. Some domains must always remain constant… your values, morals, character, attitude.
You cannot justify the thefts, robberies, rapes, killing people and other heinous crimes… No, you just cannot get away with it by calling it right.
You are right when you are answerable at least to yourself. Never forget that your right to please yourself never gives you the right to inflict pain to others, at least intentionally.
Things to be taken care of when you make the choices:
- Hurt no one.
- Anyone should not define it except you.
- It must not be against your values and character.
You adjust your right and wrong as per the convenience of time and situation, which is reasonable. However, one thing which is unfathomable is allowing people to decide it. This way, you can never unlock your right-wrong beliefs.
And therefore, do whatever you want bypassing the conventional concepts of right and wrong. But, you need to be careful that you hurt no one by your choices.
Everything is acceptable but always remember, nothing is above the character and values of an individual which lays his/her foundation. Keep doing things without the people’s judgments and allow karma to take care of the rest.
Commit a few mistakes, gain experience and never give others the authority to define your right or wrong. Allow your consciousness and awareness to deal with it. Good luck!!!
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.