Uncategorized

Let us take a dig at every element of feeling embarrassed one by one... What is Embarrassment? Embarrassment is the feeling of awkwardness felt publicly or socially. This awkwardness is because of a sudden awakening of self-consciousness when you get the unwanted attention from people. Yes, the element 'people' is an obvious element attached to feeling embarrassed. It is not realized by oneself unless others make you realize the awkwardness. Feeling embarrassed is completely different from feeling ashamed which is a self-realization. Feeling embarrassed is a public bearing while feeling ashamed is a private bearing. Your embarrassment is a fun or a victory moment for others, not for you. Please do one thing... Trigger your thinking mode and try to recall an instance when you got embarrassed. Ask yourself whether you would have felt the same if it would have happened when you were alone? Hmmm...now you are getting closer to unlock the mysteries of feeling embarrassed.  Let us assume an instance: You are on stage delivering a speech in front of a huge crowd. After your speech is over and just when you are about to step down, your feet stumble and you fall down. It's an awkward moment for you. But remember, you do not feel embarrassed till now. Now what happens is that everyone starts laughing at you.  As a result of this reaction of people, your conscious mind feels the awkwardness, which starts reflecting in your facial expressions and body language. Finally, you feel embarrassed.  Now, let us assume the same incident when you are rehearsing and no one is around... In this case, there is no one to judge you. There is no one to joke and laugh at you. And so, your self-consciousness is not aroused. As a result, either you ignore it or you laugh it off...Finally, you don't feel embarrassed. A keen observation: The element ‘people’ is the determining factor in both the assumptions.   But beware, I am not referring to the instances of embarrassment in which you are wrong or guilty. I am pointing out the silly moments which don't deserve to be a cause of your suffering. When you are actually wrong and you get caught publically, you will be insulted and humiliated. And remember, humiliation cuts even deeper than the embarrassment. Guilty instance 1: You cheat on your wife and you get caught. Guilty instance 2: Your lie gets caught publically. In both the instances, you actually are the culprit and be ready to face the wrath. The wrath, which will be far more than just an embarrassment. You can call it a humiliation. Maybe, an immediate apology could be an escape from the situation. But I am sorry, I cannot comment much on these situations.  Let us not divert from the topic. We can talk about humiliation, maybe in one of my upcoming articles. As of now, let us focus on the how to stop feeling embarrassed. Heartfelt Realizations: My dear friend, I don't think that people are to be blamed for your embarrassments. They are not waiting for the moments to laugh at you, make fun of you. But if...

Some of us are busy equating happiness to the past instances while many are awaiting the happiness in the future. Only a few of us are able to realize that happiness is right here, right now in the present moment. If you don't belong to this minority category, this article is a must-read for you. In-depth Realizations... The past is gone, and the future is yet to come. You know it too. But there is a reason why I am stating the obvious. I say so to make you realize that the past cannot be changed, likewise, the future cannot be controlled. You can only take care of the things happening NOW. It is only the present moment which always stays with you. Anyone and everyone might leave you except the present moment, which will always be with you until your last breath. If you agree to it, then allow yourself to enjoy its company and make it your best friend...How? Let us find out: The essence to feel: To enjoy the present moment, the first thing you need to know is that Feel is the essence of  Happiness. So the first thing you need to do is to revive the feel.  But it is not that easy as it sounds. It is because your thoughts are dominant over your ability to feel the present moment. You need to realize that Feel is inversely proportional to Thoughts. If you are thinking more, it means you are feeling less. And if you are doing so, the upcoming part of the article is not something you can afford to miss:  Look, I am not saying that thinking is not important. Of course, it's important. Unless you think, you will not be able to plan. Planning is important to get ready to face the upcoming situations. Also, your professional atmosphere requires thinking. So yes, positive and productive thinking is important. But you need to understand that it is not thinking but negative thinking, which needs to be avoided. To avoid negative thinking, I just want you to feel more and think less. The process of negative thinking... What is the current scenario? When you are always thinking, you are not realizing that simultaneously, you are less responsive to your sense organs. Let us explore how thinking is taking a toll on your sense organs. Eyes- You are not able to view the beauty of the nature surrounding you. Nose- You are unable to feel your blessed breaths, which itself is a form of meditation. Ears- You are unable to listen to the beautiful melodies...sounds of nature, delicate words by your loved ones, and most importantly, you are not listening to your inner voice. Tongue- You are not able to feel the food bites...You are more concerned thinking about what you are eating than to feel the fact that you are eating. Skin- You are unable to sense the gentle winds which want to nourish you, the beautiful touch of your loved ones, and many such things.  Do you know, just by sensing any of the sense organs completely, the feelings you experience can be as...

When we encounter a huge task, many of us surrender to it. The word ‘Huge’ describing a task itself begins to lose hope within us. However, is the task always daunting? Interestingly, the task is not huge, our mind makes it huge. Often, it is the burden of the responsibility and not the responsibility, which stresses our minds and breaks us from within. A task will take the same amount of time which it requires to get accomplished. The unnecessary burden created by our mind never entitles us to accomplish the task before time. Moreover, sizing the task itself is a problem. Sizing implies we are preparing our minds to make it an uphill task. Consequently, it keeps us away from initiating it. So, when we really need to accomplish a task, let us start doing it. It is the initiation, they say relieves half of the task's weight.  Sometimes, even if we start, the performance pressure to deliver starts reflecting in our performance. The mental overload of work, duties, and responsibilities creates a fear inside the minds, which keeps us away from indulgence and enjoyment of work. As a result, we try to run away from those tasks. We create a repulsion attitude towards it and finally, either we leave the task then and there, or we underperform.  How many times we have noticed that when we assure our minds to start a particular task from tomorrow but we accidentally start it casually today, we thoroughly enjoyed it. The task is performed even better and is accomplished well within the time limits. Yes, it happens, and it comes off because of the stress-free mental environment because of the evasion of the unwanted performance pressure. Hence, let us break the task into bits and take the bite one by one. It is equally important to take some rest in-between tasks which rejuvenate our spirit. The bigger we see a task, the larger it shall drain our energy and spirit. Remember, a smaller mouthful is chewed easily and relished more than the bigger one. Let us unburden ourselves to perform the best of our abilities and capabilities.  

My dear friend, you need to see the bright side of things no matter what. The desired outcome will occur only when you believe it to happen. Creating a shadow of doubt means questioning your ability. Never waste your time counting the possibility of the chances. Just do it. If it is possible, it will happen. Even if it's not, surely, it will make you experienced. Rest assured, you never lose in any of the conditions. Summon into minds; You cannot turn into a pessimist overnight. A single situation is not mighty enough to convert you into a pessimist unless you reciprocate the same feeling for that particular situation. I shall explain to you how... A few instances... Say, you failed in an exam or lost a sports match or suffered a business loss. Other instances, you did not qualify a job interview, or you did not get the desired appreciation, or maybe a decision proving wrong, and much such life hitches. The subsequent process: These life-situations infuse a negative thought inside your mind. In due course, one negative thought triggers your over-thinking mode, wherein you keep on thinking of that loss/failure. Suddenly, it starts reflecting in your attitude. By and by, you begin to criticize people and blame your destiny for anything unfavorable to you. You start thinking that you are worthless, which converts into a firm belief. You feel that you cannot win or succeed. Eventually, you develop a mindset where you begin to find failures even in your success, Yes, even if there is no reason to feel stressed, you try to find one. Even if you feel happy, you believe it to be an illusion. You keep on losing thereon and eventually turn into a pessimist. You know pessimists do have a unique ability... It is the ability to find a problem even in a solution. They do not breathe free or break free. They get caged in their world full of wrong beliefs and negativity. They do not want to expand the boundaries of their comfort zone because of their apprehensions. They fear anything and everything and where there is fear, your approach to situations can never be positive. Yes, pessimists try to find out problems rather than finding solutions. Time for some Happy Realizations... No wonder, life hits you hard. It is full of uncertainties and unpredictabilities. Situations will not always be favorable to you. You cannot always control losses,  failures, mishaps or misfortunes. Nevertheless, you are the in-charge of how to perceive those situations. What matters the most is how you accept it and deal with it. The approach and the mindset in these situations distinguish between an optimist and a pessimist. That reminds of a quote from a movie sequel of Rocky, in which Sylvester said: “Life is not about how hard you can hit, but how much you can get hit and still keep moving forward.”  Yes, you just have to be optimistic. You can never know what is in the store for you unless you try to find it. All things in perspective; your positive...

Success and failure are brothers from different mothers. You try hard but the end result is not always in your favor. It is the time when people start judging you and even ask for justifications for your downfall or failure. Straight out, you need to appreciate the fact that your actions were inspired by none other than you. You did what you felt was right. People who can accept and understand it will agree to it. They will always back your decision. On the other hand, those who disagree; your hundreds of justifications will be in vain. Trust me, it is impossible to clarify your actions to everybody. People perceive what they want to as per their convenience and understanding. Moreover, why do you need to give justifications for your committed actions? A decision taken can have both the conditions possible. Either it will be right or it will be wrong. Be brave enough to take the responsibility of any condition. Why are you giving justifications to others and authorizing them to take a call on your decision? Also, the definition of right and wrong vary from person to person. Subsequently, neither it is possible nor it is your responsibility to make everyone happy. You don’t owe any justifications to anyone except to your time. Obliging others with your justifications is a big question on your self-belief and self-importance. Therefore, it is entirely your responsibility to take a stand for your actions. Always be loyal to your time as you cannot predict how much you have. Do things what the time demands and not what the people demand. It is the justification for your time, not people, which eases your life journey.      

Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning? Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely. Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally. It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it... My personal realizations: There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion. It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it. You know why I used to get hurt so badly? It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”  I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life. I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic. One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.” The connotation of  "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings" Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you. You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...

An ideology about something, which is matchless and errorless is an Ideal condition. It is the perfect situation, which one seeks to attain. A search of the ideal condition has been going on since ages but nobody has the perfect answer to it. It is the perception of a situation, which we desire. It is in the abstract form which we wish to realize practically. Most of us desire an ideal condition. Similarly, the definition of an ideal condition for every individual is different. Moreover, it's definition keeps on changing. Almost every individual craves for an ideal condition out of every situation but does everyone reach there? The matter of fact is that it is virtually impossible to reach there every time. The quest for perfection is fine, but to believe that everything will be perfect itself is a contradiction. What happens is, when a situation is concluded, most of us feel that it could have been better. Subsequently, the reach to the ideal condition remains distant from us. Moreover, many times, on the verge of actualizing our current ideal condition, we start craving for something else simultaneously. As a result, the feel of attainment is denied. Eventually, an ideal condition still remains the desired condition.  One interesting observation which can be concluded is that there is only one ideal condition, 'CHANGE' because it is the change, which is bound to happen. It also adds to the reason why our desire for an ideal condition keeps on changing.  Let us keep on trying.  Let us keep on grinning while bearing the hard knocks. Let us never allow the desire for an ideal condition distress us and kill our now.  Let us enjoy the never-ending journey to the ideal condition.        

Allow me to begin the write-up with a small story. It will enable you to understand and connect with the realizations better. It is just a conventional yet striking conversation inside the dressing room between the Captain and the Vice-Captain of a cricket team. To boot, the lesson learned from it is astounding. A gripping conversation: Captain: I don’t know, I am a bit confused whether I should bat at my usual batting position or should I bat next immediately after the fall of a wicket? Singh, who is customary to bat next is a not a very comfortable against spin. The previous two wickets which have fallen are of the spinner. Moreover, I think I can handle the spinners and the pressure better than him. Vice-Captain: Then, go for it captain. Who is stopping you? Trust your instincts. Stand by your self-belief. Captain: I discussed it with the coach. He does not seem to agree with me. He does not want any change in the batting line-up. My performance in the entire series has not been satisfactory. It is a very big reason why he is not backing up my decision. Vice-Captain: (Smiles). Captain, you are my idol. In fact, you are an idol for the entire team. You make everyone proud when it comes to making independent decisions on and off the field. Not many are convinced when you take an unorthodox independent decision. However, all the critics are answered after the result of the game, which is most of the times in our favor. It is your self-belief, which makes things happen. The entire team looks up to you when we get stuck in a panic situation. You have never allowed the temperature of the dressing room rise. You have provided the best of answers to others’ question. Having said that, I am sorry, but I am shocked to observe the uncertainty in your eyes right now. Why this uncertainty captain? You already have the answers to your questions. You can read the game better than anybody else in the team. Why are you not able to listen and abide by the answers to your questions? How can you allow just a poor performance in one series fade out your self-belief? How can you allow the coach to answer your questions, when you already have the answers? On top of that, you know that your answers are right. One more thing Captain, suppose you acknowledge the coach’s decision and if it proves to be wrong, we will either lose the best captain or a good coach. Yes, we will no longer be able to look up to you when it comes to making tough decisions in the way we used to. Also, neither you will ask the coach for the valuable inputs nor the coach will be able to extend his best support. Indeed, we have coaches and mentors who help us, assist us, and guide us. Nevertheless, we must never let them define us. Captain: Thank you for the advice brother. Now, I can...

First and foremost, you need to know that Over-thinking and Expectations are the root causes of negativity. Now, let us try to understand how both these factors affect us negatively. It is imperative for you to indulge in any activity, where you act more and think less. Try to keep yourself busy. When you keep yourself busy in a constructive activity, there is less scope of idle thinking. It surely helps you to overcome negativity.  See, Over-thinking takes you away from the present moment. As a result, you are less responsive in the NOW. Subsequently, you are not able to speak out negativity when you feel it. Remember, awareness in the present moment helps you to speak out negativity whenever and wherever you feel it. Summon into mind that speaking out negativity is nothing but positivity. START MEDITATING.  Moreover, avoid spending time alone unless you love solitude. Spending alone time for an elongated period gives way to the feeling of loneliness and desolation. Try to connect with friends and new people frequently. Finally, one important art to learn is maintaining a balance between both the appearances of self(physical appearance and mental appearance). Never allow your mental appearance reach anywhere and everywhere leaving your physical appearance behind. 

Straight out, it is your way of looking at things and people. Negativity is only the one side of the coin. Yes, there could be many things happening around you that you don’t like. In fact, there are two set of things leading to negativity... Things happening around you, which can be seen by everyone... Every another day, you read the newspapers or scroll down on facebook to find out about the brutal crimes, the freaking accidents, the untimely demises, the deadly diseases, the uprooting poverty and many such incidents to affect you adversely for quite some time. Things happening inside you, which can only be seen by you... It is good to be self-aware but yes, you may not always look beautiful when you see yourself in the mirror. And when you don't do something about the same, it infuses elements fuelling negativity. Those elements are jealousy, comparison with others, pervert thoughts, materialistic addiction, self-harming thoughts and so on. Interestingly, there is a sub-category in this aspect. And this category is negativity because of expectations. Always remember that expectations from people and of people, both infuses negativity. It is because sometimes the expectations are fulfilled and sometimes not. And when the expectations fail because of betrayals, broken trusts or failures, it's by-product feeling induces negativity. If are not a victim of it yet, keep sailing the way you are. And if you have gone through it, not a problem either. The only thing is that you learned it the hard way. The good thing about these things happening to you is that it teaches you the best of life lessons, if you are ready to perceive it that way. The worst part... When you cannot stop and change the wrong happenings, it leads to negativity. See, there are different kinds of people living on this planet. All are different and somewhere that is the cause of stability as well. If you ask me how to get rid of it... You cannot change the course of nature. Everything is not under your control. But yes, you are fully in control of the things happening around you and inside you. And if something is happening wrong, be aware of it and take the responsibility of changing it. Nonetheless, what you can do is see the other side of the coin; THE POSITIVE SIDE. There could also be people who love you. There could be many things and situations which are favorable to you. There could be your credentials and achievements, which might give you a sense of pride and self-motivation. Friends, why are you not able to feel and realize it? The reason could be you are too busy sniffing the negativity than to count your blessings. What else you can do is start expressing your negativity in any form, be it by speaking out, writing, exercising, be it any form as you look. But never retain it inside. You know, expressing negativity in any form is also your deliberate attempt to convert your negativity into positivity. Time for some Practical Realizations...  Look, the ideal conditions are not...