Love and Relationships

Did you ever fall in love?  If you have, just keep reading and you will once again... but this time with none other than oneself. If not love, maybe you felt an infatuation towards somebody at some time.  A mere physical attraction! Not even that? Please close this screen and get your hormones checked first. Haha... I am sure you don’t belong here.   Love beyond judgmental mind   In today’s glamorama, our attention catches someone now and then. In fact, many love stories geminate on attraction. But that's just a seed.   When you truly love someone, the magical feeling is unmatched crossing all the barriers of judgment. You don’t play mind games when you are in love, know that person inside out. You accept them gracefully without any concern about their physical or mental appearance. Let us connect to some feelings when you are in love with somebody. 12 qualities when you are in love Balancing out others' weaknesses No one is perfect. Not only you appreciate their strengths but also try to cover up their weaknesses. Forgiveness Humans commit mistakes, and you accept that. You may fight with the person whom you love, land in arguments but eventually, you forgive him/her. Not holding back to apologize This is difficult otherwise but not in the case of love where there is no room for ego. It's because you value your relationship more than your ego. Expressing Love Now and then, you express your love to them in your peculiar way. You don’t hold back in making them feel special.   Make them realize when they are wrong Not only you admire their right, but also try to make them realize their egoistic behaviors in person, not openly   Respect Differences Everyone is an exclusive package. You might have nothing in common but maybe this is what you like about them. Never insult them When you love them, you never make fun of them, never embarrass them. You never hurt their sentiments intentionally. Respect and Trust Them You respect them more than you love them. You trust them more than anyone else. The reason is you know that respect and trust are strong foundations of a healthy love relationship.  Motivate and Encourage Not only you cherish their moments of success with them, but also try to motivate and cheer them up in their failures. No Comparison You don’t compare any attributes of your loved ones with others, be it good or bad. You love them the way they are and you never want to change their uniqueness. Always around in there tough times Life is all about peaks and valleys. And you never leave their hand in their darkest of phases. Flowing love Your love for that person never fades with passing time and it is not situational. It blossoms and matures beautifully. I am sure you could relate to many of these feelings if you have ever been in love. But let me raise a question on your behalf. Aren’t we talking about the fortunate ideal relationships?   Heartfelt curiosities Dear friend, even if your infatuation transpired into love, does it guarantee the same reciprocation from the one you love? What about those one-sided love and those broken trusts? You cannot ignore those. In fact needs more attention as the way people get affected.   You see, the qualities which we...

Becoming a father is a boon. Becoming a father of a girl child is a bigger blessing.  most of the fathers know what their daughter means to them. However, having accepted this, I’m sorry to admit that I am not sure whether I want to become a father of a daughter... Here I begin... what I feel and why I feel so!!! My wife is expecting a baby. She is on top of the world. I cannot express how overjoyed she is. Everyone in the family is happy. But if you ask about my feelings, it’s a mixed feeling. Just not able to put it down into words. I am excited but at the same time; I am nervous. I am not sure whether I shall be able to justify the responsibilities of a father. One thing which always scares me–responsibilities. I still remember the day she told me she missed her monthlies…. I freaked out; I was shocked. Haha…quite contrary to the response she was expecting. At least I can laugh it off today. Now she is 6 months pregnant and yes, the feeling of a to-be father has completely sunk in. It’s not that I had to accept it and so such a feeling. No, not at all. To be honest, it’s a magical feeling. All the fathers and to-be fathers can know how it feels when your wife makes you feel your child’s kicks inside the womb. Not to forget the feel of topsy-turvy movements, swear on God, apprehensions if any, are flushed out at that time. Everyone in the family is waiting for that time, they call it the D-day. And now, my family along with friends and relatives are asking us, what are you expecting- a boy or a girl? One of the few big things they want to know from you at that time. Well, my answer to them is clear, ‘I don’t care, only my child should be healthy at the time of birth, that’s it.’   Huh...... really? Do I feel this way? Does my mind has the same clarity as my words? Well, I am sorry but I am not sure. ‘I don’t care’ is what I always believed but not today. There are a lot of uncertainties and unanswered questions today. Don’t worry about my wife’s choice because they will not judge her choice. But somehow I think if a to-be father wants a son and not a daughter, he is judged and questioned. And the same is happening to me. I fear that everyone, including my family, will judge my decision.  But now, it’s high-time I need to tell the reasons behind my answer. Moreover, I want to answer on behalf of many who think alike but prefer to stay silent. First of all, I am not a male chauvinist. I am not that dirty narrow-minded pig who supports gender inequality. No, I am not looking at a maybe-son as my successor and to tell the truth, I am strictly against the dowry system. Rest assured, I am not killing my maybe-daughter inside the womb either. I respect...

Am I right or am I wrong? This question comes to your mind before and after any action. Let us try to find an answer. Dear friend, you have your right-wrong beliefs in different spheres- personal, professional, political, economic and so on. But a person’s life mainly revolves around two spheres-personal and professional. Involving these two spheres, let us take the help of illustrations to unlock the right and wrong beliefs. You can have the right and wrong beliefs about: Situations People Let us take a situation-based instance from the personal sphere... If I ask you... Is God right or wrong? This question sounds weird, but trust me it’s logical. Please answer it… Did you feel that your answer is biased to your current situation? Confused? Let me clear this out for you.  Suppose, your today is a fairytale with happiness all around. No wonder, for you, God is absolutely right! God forbid but assume the other side… You surfaced a sudden loss or a failure. Something shattered your life and there’s sadness all around. If I ask you the same question, God will be wrong. Yes, it happens with almost every individual. Your answer today is dependent on your current situation. You felt it, right? And this happens with most of us. The spontaneity to react to a situation bypasses the concepts of right and wrong.  Let us take the example of people in your professional sphere... If I ask you whether your boss is right or wrong? Your answer will be based on the current tuning with him. The day when he applauds you or offers you incentives or talks about your salary raise, he is right. But the day when he screams at you or overburdens you with work, the same boss is wrong.  The same thinking is applicable when you are the boss...The day you see your employee devoting extra time to work, cracking a deal, achieving targets, he is right... and when he takes long leaves, asks for a salary hike, commits mistakes, he is wrong. One observation drawn is you adjust your right and wrong as per time and situation you are in... Let us find out whether this adjustment is justified… Here’s the interesting part... You are just another person who makes a choice as per your convenience of time and situation. Likewise, others are doing it. And there is nothing wrong with it. My dear friend, you are just a slave to our priorities. Your right and wrong are molded as per time and situation you in. It is all about your priorities and you need not feel sorry for the same. It is the practicality of the real world. And there is nothing much you can change about it. So let us stop judging people and situations, and stop labeling them as right or wrong... An eye opener... When your life is loaded with materialistic options, you might feel that thinking always about the money is wrong. But God forbid, when you cannot fulfill your necessities of life, all you want is money. Now tell me whether you are right or wrong? Will you judge yourself now? I am sure you’ll not… Time for in-depth realizations!!! You...

Simply, Indecisiveness is the inability to take a decision. An indecisive person is confused whether they should take a left, a right or to stick with the current position. The positive side of it is that we have the liberty and option to chose. In fact, there is no problem in taking some time to choose the right option. However, things get complicated when we spend too much time evaluating the pros and cons associated with making the right decision. Let us try to comprehend the 7 reasons for indecisiveness and the ways to counter it: 1. Prolonged thinking  The foremost reason is thinking too much in the evaluation of the pros n cons attached to the decision-making. It creates a never-ending confusion, which refrains us from taking a decision. Solution- No doubt, it is important to think before making a decision but let us not over-think to create a mental blockage wherein our mind loses the ability to decide.  2. Too many available options  Many a time, the delight to savor several choices turns out to be an upset. The flickering mind creates a chaos inside the mind, which adds to the inability to decide. Solution- We need to understand that we cannot have everything. Let us respect the options available, and chose the one which is our priority.   3. Fear of choosing wrong  At times, the indecisiveness is because we fear that the decision we would take might prove to be wrong. This apprehension keeps us away from inclination towards a choice. When we fear failures, we start recalling our previous decisions which proved wrong. Subsequently, we unnecessarily put extra pressure on ourselves to take the correct decision. Solution- We need to sink into mind that failures are the gateways to success. Let us not allow the past failures to affect our current decision-making process. 4. Thinking 'what people will think' Sometimes, we want to please everyone with our decision. As a result, we start emphasizing too much on the people’s opinion about the options available.  In the process, our ability to take the right decision gets hampered. Solution- There is no harm in listening to everybody, but we also need to realize that people are never short of opinions and suggestions. Let us never authorize anyone to decide on our behalf. And also, let us stop getting affected by what they will think about it.   5. Not listening to the conscious self  More often than not, we don't listen to our inner voice, the voice which is right most of the times. When we don’t trust the answers from within us at the first place, it infuses the dilemmas leading to indecisiveness and eventually resulting in poor decision-making. Solution- Rest assured, most of the times, we have the right answer. We need to patiently wait for the answer which is within us, trust our instincts and go with the flow. This way, we enjoy all the credentials all alone and even if the decision proves to be wrong, at least we do not have people to blame. 6. The desire for the ideal condition  If the decision-making is tough, it means there are...

First of all, let us define self-control: According to Vocabulary.com, "Self-control is the quality that allows you to stop yourself from doing things you want to do but that might not be in your best interest." My dear friend, today’s world is full of alluring mediums where you fall prey to the materialistic forces for momentary happiness. Resisting the temptation has become extremely difficult.  Getting carried away to these tempting drives might give you instant happiness and success. It is the reason why you begin to lose your self-control and commit yourself to these choices. But is the success and happiness derived by committing to it real? Does it really last for a lifetime? Let us find out... Why is Self-Control Important? Straight out, there are no shortcuts to success, and happiness derived after fulfilling the never-ending desires is short-lived. You got the reason why is it short-lived. It is because those desires are never-ending. The fulfillment of one just makes making way for the other, resulting in a never-ending vicious flow. This momentary happiness is soon followed by regret. And trust me, this regret adversely affects the self-love. And if continued further, it may even lead to self-harming thoughts. It is immensely important to stay away from these drives. And this is why your self-control has a vital role to play. The stronger your self-control, the less you fall prey to the luring drives.  A few daily-life practical examples where self-control is important... Student, self-control is resisting the temptation of going to your best friend's birthday celebration today when he/she has a difficult exam tomorrow. Ice-cream lover, self-control is resisting the temptation of eating it when you are on a fitness diet. Married man, self-control is resisting the temptation of getting carried by the physical beauty of another woman. Sugar patient, self-control is resisting the temptation of sweets and desserts. Parent, self-control is resisting the temptation of raising hands on your child when he/she commits a mistake. Stressed person, self-control is resisting the temptation of alcohol, which is an elusive stress buster. Monetary-struggler, self-control is resisting the temptation to earn quick money by unethical means like gambling or theft. Failure, self-control is the resisting the temptation of giving up. I am sure you can relate to any of these instances.How is Self-Control Connected to Self-Esteem? In such a competitive and stressful environment where every man is for themselves, self-esteem has become quite essential. And it is your self-control, which is responsible for your boosted self-esteem. If you keep falling prey to the alluring mediums, you will never be able to ride high on your self-esteem. Ultimately, you shall keep on denying the internal happiness. On the contrary, you just need one big situation where you resist yourself to the alluring temptation via self-control. Then off you go, your self-esteem and self-love get an automatic boost. And this boost acts as a solid base to resist the upcoming temptations. Let us find out how this entire process works... AN INDIVIDUAL – SELF-CONTROL – CHARACTER BUILDING  – AVOIDANCE OF MATERIALISTIC TEMPTATIONS – HIGH SELF-ESTEEM –  REAL HAPPINESS. First and foremost, self-control has to be your initiation to do the...

Allow me to begin with a small composition of mine: Speak Speak speak... you speak SPEAK WITH AUTHORITY, SPEAK WITH CLARITY... make sure you get heard when you speak Irrespective of the language YOU SPEAK... as long as you have a voice, you speak don’t wary the criticisms and the questions ... as long as you are right, you speak Don’t worry about losing them, FOR THE SAKE OF FINDING YOURSELF, you speak. To spit out the negativity, for the sake of positivity... gather courage only once to speak on their face and never behind, as long as they are wrong, you speak FOR THE SAKE YOUR RESPECT AND ESTEEM... SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK... YOU SPEAK Hope you liked it! Let's jump right into the nitty-gritty of expressing: Expressing is an introduction of your true self to the outside world. Whatever you are inside, just exhibit it outside. What you are and whatever you feel, just express yourself. Never feel afraid of it. Always remember: “You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” - Claire Baker And this applies to everyone. When you have the freedom of expression, use it to your advantage. You are probably wondering: Why is expressing important? Expressing is your deliberate attempt to convert the negativity felt into positivity. In the world full of lies and betrayals, it is difficult to stop feeling negative. But you need to understand that feeling negative is not a problem.  The problem arises when you keep that negativity within you and do not express it out. But when you express out, you unburden yourself and flush out the negativity.  To maintain transparency between your physical and mental appearance. In case you don't know: There are two facets of your appearance- physical and mental. Expressing acts as a mirror between the two. It ensures that whatever you feel from inside, you present it outside. This way, you are true to yourself and to others. There is no retention of negative feelings inside you to attract other negative energies. You always ride high on yourself via expressing. When you express your true self to others, it means you value your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs. No wonder, expressing is one of the best ways to develop self-love. The quote above says it all... When you express, you expose yourself in front of others. You reveal your true identity to them. In the process, people might get hurt. Many people might not like you. They can call you rude, offensive and aggressive. They might misunderstand you. However, the ones who deserve to be in your life will understand you gradually. They will accept you the way you are. No wonder, these people will be less. But they will be the ones whom you will find by your side every time you need them. It's your identity, this is the way you always are, independent of the person, time and situation. Feel proud! Look: Being nude is always better than being naked. Sounds silly? It's not: Being nude is your choice. It is when you uncover yourself by yourself. It‘s your discretion to expose yourself to others. It is the transparency you...

Before evaluating the differences, let's find out the similarity between both the attitude.  Did you notice that both the attitude have four consecutive letters in common-'LOSE'? You know what does it mean? It means that both the attitude(loser/nothing to lose) are provoked by a loss. Now, there are two possible conditions involving a loss.  You are on the verge of losing. You have already lost. Subsequently, when you encounter any of the above-mentioned situations,  it provokes either a 'nothing to lose' attitude or you develop a 'loser attitude'.   An example involving sports where you are on the verge of losing... Two players are playing a game of squash inside two different courts.  The game is of 5 sets. Both the players lose the first two sets. Obviously, the recovery seems extremely difficult hereon. Now, let us try to compare and analyze their respective attitude where one develops a loser attitude while the other develops a nothing to lose attitude.  The one with the ‘loser attitude:’ After losing the first two sets out of five, the person with a negative mindset starts considering himself as a loser even before the result of the game. It evokes fear inside him and he begins saying to himself that he cannot win from this particular game-situation. Eventually, he surrenders to a situation and showcases a ‘loser attitude’ in the subsequent game-set. This attitude fails to deliver miserably, no need to mention the outcome. The one with the ‘nothing to lose attitude.’   A person with a positive frame of mind sees things differently. After losing the first two sets, he sets himself free. Even he starts considering himself as a loser but with a different mindset. As soon as he accepts his loss, he starts seeing it as a different ball game altogether. It evokes a fearless attitude within him as he is already considering himself as a loser. He starts feeling that he cannot go down anymore and plays the rest of the game carefree and stress-free. Trust me, most of the times he is able to turn the tables around from nowhere, and an evident lose turns out to be a surprising victory. Let us consider a monetary example where the loss has already occurred: Two businessmen suffered a huge financial loss in their respective trades. The one with a loser attitude: The person with the loser attitude starts feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He is not able to sink that loss inside his mind. As a result, it never lets him overcome that loss or defeat. That fear of losing refrains him from starting again. As a result, he always considers himself a loser.  The one with a nothing to lose attitude: There is the other businessman who considers it as an opportunity, the opportunity to start from scratch, where he cannot go down beyond it. This attitude allows him to realize his mistakes so that he never repeats it again. Time for some Happy Realizations!!! Friends, we all lose on something at some point in time.  But what makes us a loser or winner depends...

When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative.  Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations? Why do you expect and from whom do you expect? In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation. Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish. Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection. Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations. The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations? The never-ending expectation process: Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day. Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people. You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them. In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.  Let me bombard a few questions on you... If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations? Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it. Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong. Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...

Supremely, you need to understand that both the feelings ‘lonely’ and ‘solitude’ are two sides of the same coin. Solitude is a positive feeling which is entirely your choice. It is the feeling of completeness one derives by loving and enjoying one’s own company.  On the contrary, the feeling of loneliness has a negative connotation where you are full of insecurities and find yourself deserted even in the crowd. When you feel lonely, you neither enjoy others’ company nor cherish your own company. The feeling of solitude is an unmatched magical feeling while there is nothing worse than the feeling of loneliness. In both the feelings, you feel no one around you but interestingly, you love solitude but you hate loneliness. Fight with loneliness: Do not fear the loneliness. Accept it and face it. Unless you realize that you are lonely, you cannot find the reasons for the same. The feeling of loneliness is independent of people and situations. Agreed, sour experiences with people or unfavorable situations might be reasons for loneliness, but it is your responsibility to bail yourself out from it. The positive side of loneliness: Yes, you read it right. Friends, it is when you are lonely, you can get hit by some strong in-depth realizations. To realize them, you need the courage to listen to your inner voice.  The realizations you explore during your loneliness are profound life lessons. It might be hard for you to accept but it is always better to know yourself by yourself than to get a pinch from the outside world.  Loneliness helps you connect to your inner world where you can explore your weaknesses. During this time, you also come across bitter realities about yourself and the outside world. These realizations give you strength to deal with it so that you convert your loneliness into solitude. Realizations: In this fast-moving world, not everyone gets the time to know oneself. If you are one of those lucky ones who gets time to get hit by in-depth self-realizations, be brave enough not to lose the opportunity. It is equally important to work on the areas of concern and move out of loneliness at the earliest. It is because loneliness can be dangerous. The longer the period of loneliness, the deeper you sink in the world of darkness. Act smart, act on it before it acts on you. Never try to run away from it because you can never escape from yourself. Take it head-on where you can explore the reasons for your self-hatred and convert it into self-love. Loneliness is a gateway to explore solitude. Unlock the gate. The key is with you, within you.

This article is going to be an interesting one... To begin with, let me give you an insight into why is it essential to revive the feel... Feel is the essence of happiness. Feelings are the best judge to distinguish between the things you like and which you don’t. Even you must have experienced that time falls short while doing anything you enjoy. It is because of the involvement of feel in your work. On the contrary, the time slowly limps while doing anything you don't enjoy. Again, it is because the sincere feel to perform it is missing. Therefore, you must try to do things you feel to do. When you feel it, you will be able to love it. Subsequently, when you do things which you love, you will be able to enjoy it. When you enjoy it, you give it a chance to turn it into your passion. My dear friend, if you do anything passionately, it infuses a powerful self-belief you. Finally, things start happening in your favor. A  few heartfelt realizations... Your work must make you happy. Summon into minds that if your work is not making you happy, there is a lot to ponder upon. If your work is not energizing you, something is not right. Straight out, if your work is tiring you, IT IS NOT YOUR WORK. Be mindful of the fact that excellence in any field requires the feel to do and perform. Feel releases an active energy to perform a task dedicatedly. You can say that the feel associated with your works is the mantra of success. By now, I am sure you must be realized that why is it important to do whatever you feel. Better said than done, is it so easy? Is life so lenient on us?  Let's find out... The Reverse formula ... We can say that it is the ideal condition we were talking about. Everyone does not get the opportunity to pursue their passion and follow their dreams. Time and Situations are not always perfect where you do things according to your preferences and choices. Not even that, sometimes you are even forced to do things which you don’t feel to do. Factors like upbringing, surrounding social environment, situations of every individual are different and classified. Everyone does not get an opportunity to do whatever they feel. Some compromise for their loved ones and some compromise because they don't have any loved ones. And this is what life is all about...Adjustments. Many people have to adjust and adapt themselves as per time and situation. There are many individuals who have to comply with circumstances to earn bread without any other option available. No wonder, life is unpredictable with twists and turns. We don’t always get an opportunity to set the dancing tune for ourselves. Therefore, it is essential for us to take things positively with the right attitude. And this is when the reverse formula works... When you can't do whatever you feel, start feeling whatever you do... TIME FOR SOME HAPPY REALIZATIONS: Crying over your plight or surrendering to an unfavorable situation is...