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We are hooked to a mirror since our diaper days. We love it... right? In fact, a mirror at home is a necessity. Why shouldn’t it be? It is the mirror which makes us conscious of our appearance. I have been stating the obvious but these statements have many untold stories to tell. To begin with, let me introspect you with a few questions... Spare a minute to ask yourself... Is your mirror reflecting your real appearance? Do you really know who you are? Are you proud of your appearance? If any of these questions are triggering your self-analysis mode... congratulations!!!! You passed the self-introspection test. If not, face your mirror at home and ask yourself these questions again. A realization shall pinch you where you'll get to know 'the mirror at your home is lying' and your appearance is deceptive. Yes, not only the outer appearance but also we have an inner appearance which is the intangible face of the appearance. And both the appearances together define our real appearance. The inner appearance... thought-provoking... isn’t it? As they say... “beauty lies within”, the inner appearance is the real beauty of an individual irrespective of their outer appearance. But shockingly, the definition of the word “appearance” to most of us is mere physical looks. Majority of us are not one-to-one with our originality-our inner appearance. And this leads straight to one intriguing question... When the mirror at home reveals the outer appearance, is there a mirror which reveals our inner appearance? Yes, everyone has it... few people use it! Allow me to unveil the mirror reflecting our inner appearance... Much like a mirror at home which reflects our outer-appearance, Self-awareness is a mirror which reflects our inner-appearance. According to Wikipedia “Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals.” It is the mirror which is the real depictor of our appearance. Shockingly, most of us look different in the mirror of self-awareness and the mirror at home. While the mirror at home showcases a new identity daily, the mirror of self-awareness always has a true story to tell. Differences between the two mirrors... Unlike the mirror at home, the mirror of self-awareness does not have a physical existence. It is inbuilt inside everyone. The mirror at home makes us presentable to the outside world while the mirror of self-awareness makes us presentable to ourselves. While the mirror at home reflects our body, the mirror of self-awareness reflects our soul. We might deceive the mirror at home wearing a sheet of lie driven by the manipulative mind. We cannot deceive the mirror of self-awareness driven by the pure soul... no lies, no imitation, no look-alike. Thought provoking... A t-shirt and shorts, messy hair, no lenses or shades, no jewelry, no-belly tuckers, no high-heels... this is the how we are at home, our originality, right? But when we move out, every outing has a new look... different clothes, hair-styles, make-up... all to look beautiful. But does that make you beautiful?  Do you realize you are only changing your looks for the outer world? You don’t realize this way, you’re not beautifying...

My mind runs here, there, everywhere trying to win the race against time.It retreats to the past, leaps into the future, only to lose in the present. My present moment is rolling but my mind is ahead or behind it.The poor mind is losing in both cases and you know who’s winning? Time! The unsung battle  Never could I realize my unconscious mind started competing with the invincible Time.  Time proposes friendship, offers to unite, invites the mind to end animosity.  But the audacious mind soaked in ego wishes to rule over the boundless. Unlike mind, Time never calls it a fight, flowing at a divine pace, faithful to everyone.But that transparency deceives my mind. No wonder, my mind one powerful unit. It flaunts, but in self-admiration, forgets everyone and everything is a slave to Time. Interestingly, both have their best friend... I’m sure you want to meet them. Meet my mind's bestie Intoxication, my mind’s best friend. It possesses every quality.It makes my mind dance in good times, a pain-reliever in bad.  But my exuberant mind cannot identify Intoxication’s cruel intentions. Besides having monetary demands, Intoxication seizes independence. It takes my mind for a drive to future, reverses gear, accelerates to the past. And when the psychological drama is over, throws it to the unpleasant reality soon. Illusionary happiness convinces the unconscious mind to depend on Intoxication mesmerizing by its bittersweetness. Time watches everything silently and loves the juvenile games! My mind doesn’t realize flowing with Time creates an awareness that solves most of the riddles.          Mind (riding on ego) wins moments when it has materialistic possessions including power, but Time is smiling on the Death corner to ruin the party.Time never reacts on course, it's best friend does the talking!  Unveiling Time's best friend None other than Karma.Brutally honest, one powerful unit.Time prefers silence, but Karma is violent. They share beautiful chemistry.Questions on time, Karma takes the responsibility of answers.Time defines the best part... the answers of Karma. The style of Karma’s answering is different, more of a beating. Poor mind, unable to face the wrath not only lost but also accepted. Yes... my mind realized it was fighting a lost battle. Finally, it pleaded to Time ... I lost to you, proud; Karma taught me loud.Creepy thoughts are dominant, laugh when Ego I say I’m confident.I want to age with you; I want to walk with you.Help or it’s my end, please help my friend. It was difficult to convince Time who thought it could be a mind’s ploy. But Time filled with self-respect accepted it with open arms.  It responded ... In the quest of running, you forgot how to walk.I’m winning, either win with me or lose against me. I’m flowing, either flow with me or drown. And then evolved a conscious realization ... Happiness is nowhere but in the awareness of the present moment. My mind made a new friend ... my body, which accompanies it everywhere, unlike earlier. Now, my mental body and physical body walk together along with time. Do you know how are they connected? Through the awareness of my breaths! Final Words Negativity spares none.I face moments when the outer world is all over me....

Yes, it is your judgmental eyes which inflicts unbearable pain, which makes me suffer like a loser. It's because you judge me by my smile without realizing the burden of tears I am carrying. Your eyes can only see my physical wounds, but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I wish you could hear the cries of mental wounds...  You know my problem?  I have not attained that level where I stop getting affected by judgments and opinions about me. Yes, assuredly, I shall reach there one day but for God's sake, please stop until then. I know that I don't have a strong dwelling of my aura where I can reside, but why aren't you allowing me to create a foundation of my aura? Why are you enforcing your aura on me? I'm not asking you to stop judging me, I know you don't have this ability. What I'm requesting you is to judge me only after stepping into my shoes.  Wow..what an irony...instead of pushing me back to life, you are pushing me to death. And the father of all ironies is that you still claim that you care about me. I won't surrender to the situation and commit suicide, but do you just feel that you are responsible for instigating suicidal thoughts inside me. Please try to understand that I am already fighting an intense battle with my capabilities, I am already bleeding so why do you want to bleed me to death? I'm already burning so please stop adding fuel to that fire!!! Don't you dare to perceive it as your dominance over me. I'm getting affected by you because of reasons I'm not sure you would want to hear. But if you are courageous enough, let me clear out the reasons behind my sufferings... I'm tolerating this suffocation because you matter to me...your opinions, your comments, your observations, your judgments regarding me matters to me, it all matters to me. I cannot turn my back on you, I cannot run away from you, I cannot part my ways with you. It is because I care for you, I'm attached to you, and so I don't want to hurt you. But you are not stopping!!! Your judgmental eyes and judgmental lies   are choking my breath. And if this is what you have to offer, I'm sorry but you are forcing me to become you. And my dear, if I become like you, not sure whether you would be able to withstand my honesty. Beware...it is my respect for you talking thus far!!! But if you are not stopping here, then I don't find any option than to be brutal!!! And if you really want to know the reason behind the discrepancy between my physical and mental appearance, be patient...I would uncover my feelings as slowly as I could so that you taste every bit of what I'm going through. Instead of asking me what is wrong, you always call me wrong. Please stop stating the obvious because I was not the same some time back. But did you bother to know the reason?  And when you are judging me through...

Everyone feels happy doing different things. But the basis of happiness remains the same for everyone.  My dear friend,  Happiness is awareness and appreciation of the present moment! Whatever we do, if we can pay kind attention to the present, with an attitude of non-judgment, it bestows with happiness. We feel blessed and appreciate everything, and are less prone to stress and negativity.  A beautiful observation by Gautama Buddha... “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  Better said than done Everyone encounters many moments when we feel like running away from our present. Some situations are hostile, some moments are just not worth feeling them. If we feel them, we stress more, we agonize more.  I’m sure you can relate to any of the following hostile moments. How can we: feel happy in the present when we are hungry and don’t know the source of the next bread? dwell in the present when we are a failure today? enjoy the present seeing a handicapped beggar lying down on the side street? extract happiness from the surroundings when rapes and killings are happening around? feel the present when we lose a family member in a sudden demise? Seriously, why will we make our lives tougher living in the present when feeling it is already tough?  If this is what you are wondering, let me tell you that your curiosities have landed on the right harbor. Let’s unlock To begin, let me bombard a few questions on you. Were you happy when there was no reason to feel sad? Were you free flowing when life was fair? Was there no ego in your competition before? Were you cheerful when the situations were not adverse? Did you enjoy nature when everything around seemed beautiful? Were you high on life or high on success - if ever it was? Did you forgive your loved ones when they were alive? If you ask me ‘Why feel the present moment when it’s hostile’, I ask you… ‘Did you feel the present moment when it was unhostile?’ I’m sorry but my question is mightier than yours. And it’s taking you to a deep self-analysis, your feelings get hurt. You know why? It’s because you are guilty of playing the blame game on people and situations. And now finding it hard to take the onus on yourself. Now let’s talk about the solution for which we are here. Why feel the present moment when it is hostile? My dear, it’s easy to blame life, situations, people as per your convenience but what’s tough is to bother least about the outside. It’s easy to run from the present, but what’s hard is to stay there even in unfavorable situations. In reality, you cannot escape reality. No matter how hard you run, it soon catches up with your speed, this time with a harder intensity.  Turning away from challenging life by taking the help of medication and intoxication is not a solution either. It calms a few moments but these are not the solutions, just the momentary illusions. Please stop creating your parallel world by opting...

First, let us understand the meaning of comfort zone... Comfort zone is a luxury created by your mind which is repulsive to a change. It is because when a change occurs, something different from the usual takes place, giving way to something new. So you can say that the ‘change’ is directly proportional to the ‘new’.  And here we arrive at a straightforward definition... Your comfort zone is the barrier which restricts the new to enter your world. Let us recall a few instances testing the boundaries of your comfort zone... 1. The most common one... leaving the bed in the morning... sleep comforts you and getting out of it is difficult. The choice is yours... you want to get up and exercise, meditate, leave for work, kick-start your day... or you want to snooze the alarm and stay within the boundaries of your comfort zone. 2. You are working in a bank in your hometown. You are offered a raise and promotion in the same bank outside your hometown. It is your call to settle with the comfort boundaries of your hometown or explore the new by opting to go out. 3. Someone meets with an accident in front of you. He needs help, and he is seeking help. Whether you will be compassionate enough to break the boundaries of your comfort zone... your call. 4. Your Air Conditioner is on in summers. But one hot summer night, your A.C is not working and spend the entire night without it. This is an example where there is no other option but to accept the change. Whether or not you accept the change gracefully is the real test of your comfort zone. 5. You are not well versed in speaking English. You are invited to a formal function where people mostly converse in English. It is your call to take that as an opportunity by backing up with a positive attitude or you could surrender to your comfort zone by not attending it.  6. You travel by air but unfortunately, the flight ticket is not available but reaching that place is crucial. And so travel by train. Again an instance where your comfort zone is tested. Always remember, not only traveling by train but traveling by train happily is the real test of your comfort zone.  7. An afternoon nap is a part of your daily routine. But if anyone from your personal or professional atmosphere wants to meet you during that time, it will test your comfort zone. 8. You need to reach your destination but you don’t know the route directions. You may go there self-drive challenging the situation or you can hire a cab surrendering to the situation. What happens when you don’t allow the new to enter your world? Everyone enjoys their comfort zone and wants to stay inside it. But change is inevitable. Change is something you cannot change. So when the boundary of your comfort zone is pre-defined, it restricts you from accepting the change gracefully. As a result, you never experience the new. When you don’t taste the new, I am...

Let us define a loss and a failure. The dictionary meaning of loss is “the feeling of grief after losing someone or something of value.” And of a failure is “an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.” The difference seems clear but what’s important is how do you distinguish between the two in your practical lives. It is a sorry state that most of us get affected by an everyday failure like a loss. And this is the reason our natural state has become sadness, not joy. Let us find out what is the problem and how to overcome it... Life is a fairy tale only in storybooks, movies, and dreams. The practicality of real life is a different ball-game altogether. Life isn’t easy by any means. But this is not the problem. The problem is non-acceptance of this fact.  Instead of accepting and appreciating what we have got, the desire to what we can get is taking control. In the process, most of us cannot accept the everyday life failures gracefully, without realizing that failures are inevitable.Not only we get disheartened by everyday failures easily but also get immensely affected by it. We don’t realize that we can overturn or rectify our failures. And so, it must not become a cause of botheration. Some of the everyday failures are failing to: get up early from the bed. score good marks in an exam. beat the opponent in any academic or sports event. pass a driving test. prepare good food. hit the gym. follow a good diet. keep a promise of not intoxicating. reach the destination on time. break the rule made to oneself. stand by a commitment to others. to do many such things. Well, these are some of the everyday failures we can monitor.. But the way we are letting these events impact our lives is undeserved. “Failures are the stepping stone to success”...Yes, this proverb is not new to ears but are we implementing it in our real lives? Tell me, who wants problems but take a minute to think who does not have problems? You are mistaken if you think otherwise seeing a person cheerful. There are many cases where their problems are mightier than yours. But, they are happier than you. They have accepted life gracefully, the reason they are enjoying it. On the contrary, You are stuck to things which do not deserve to be a cause of botheration. I dread to think if this is how we feel every day when life is fair, how will we feel in case of a loss which cannot be overturned. I am afraid that we all face such a situation at least once in our life-span. So tell me, how will you overcome that loss if this is your approach to a fairly beautiful life. Let us now move one step further to talk about a loss... We lose: Relationships Money Power or Position Over and above all...Life of our loved ones Well, even the first 3 losses can be controlled or rectified in due course. We can rectify relationships, re-earn the lost money, regain power/position.  But...

Hello! My name is Amanpreet Singh Tuteja and I want you to stay happy.  I am a blogger by passion and a businessman by profession. My blogging journey started with diary writing in 2016 when I was gifted with a diary and a pen from my beloved wife Gurdeep Kaur. I was struggling in my life with negativity, unhappiness, inner self-complexities, and many other problems. On top of that, I didn’t discuss it with anyone. I started expressing my feelings in that diary which made me feel lighter and better. It soon turned into my passion and here I am with an open platform to hear and get heard. I have realized that it is human to face negativity but expressing it is the biggest healer. And I want you to realize it too. All my blog posts are my heartfelt practical realizations, the way I have known life thus far. Neither am I a preacher nor a psychologist. I am just a common man who is loaded with thoughts and emotions, just like you. As I said that I was down with stress, negativity, and inner-self complexities and it all started breaking and killing me from inside. Eventually, I fell prey to a very severe mental disease called depression. I was under the medication for 5 long years. It might have continued maybe for a lifetime, but God had something else in store for me. I got infected with jaundice some time back, and a liver affected by jaundice does not permit you to take those pills. I was forced to stop the medicines and had no other option than to bear the severe side effects of discontinuing the medicines suddenly. But gradually, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I started feeling better as the effects eased out and eventually one morning I felt different. It was the freshness I had not experienced in a long time. That day, I realized the difference between the two mind states (tired mind because of antidepressants and a fresh mind after quitting the pills). I promised myself that I will never take those pills again. I started searching and trying for options to stay happy naturally, not the ones offering momentary happiness. I struggled a lot to find one but I kept on trying. Finally, I came across a technique called meditation. Meditation is a powerful method to control the mind and so it requires a lot of concentration. To be honest, I started thinking that it is a waste of time but thought of giving it a few more tries. And yes, one morning, I reached a level which was different, a feeling which I had never felt before, the positiveness, the euphoria, the happiness, the feel of the present moment, the awareness. It was the beginning of my self-exploration journey. There was no room for thoughts and therefore there was no scope for negativity. It was magical. I saw the real face of me, and it was beautiful. I realized that the foremost purpose of life is happiness. I have surfaced the...

Becoming a father is a boon. Becoming a father of a girl child is a bigger blessing.  most of the fathers know what their daughter means to them. However, having accepted this, I’m sorry to admit that I am not sure whether I want to become a father of a daughter... Here I begin... what I feel and why I feel so!!! My wife is expecting a baby. She is on top of the world. I cannot express how overjoyed she is. Everyone in the family is happy. But if you ask about my feelings, it’s a mixed feeling. Just not able to put it down into words. I am excited but at the same time; I am nervous. I am not sure whether I shall be able to justify the responsibilities of a father. One thing which always scares me–responsibilities. I still remember the day she told me she missed her monthlies…. I freaked out; I was shocked. Haha…quite contrary to the response she was expecting. At least I can laugh it off today. Now she is 6 months pregnant and yes, the feeling of a to-be father has completely sunk in. It’s not that I had to accept it and so such a feeling. No, not at all. To be honest, it’s a magical feeling. All the fathers and to-be fathers can know how it feels when your wife makes you feel your child’s kicks inside the womb. Not to forget the feel of topsy-turvy movements, swear on God, apprehensions if any, are flushed out at that time. Everyone in the family is waiting for that time, they call it the D-day. And now, my family along with friends and relatives are asking us, what are you expecting- a boy or a girl? One of the few big things they want to know from you at that time. Well, my answer to them is clear, ‘I don’t care, only my child should be healthy at the time of birth, that’s it.’   Huh...... really? Do I feel this way? Does my mind has the same clarity as my words? Well, I am sorry but I am not sure. ‘I don’t care’ is what I always believed but not today. There are a lot of uncertainties and unanswered questions today. Don’t worry about my wife’s choice because they will not judge her choice. But somehow I think if a to-be father wants a son and not a daughter, he is judged and questioned. And the same is happening to me. I fear that everyone, including my family, will judge my decision.  But now, it’s high-time I need to tell the reasons behind my answer. Moreover, I want to answer on behalf of many who think alike but prefer to stay silent. First of all, I am not a male chauvinist. I am not that dirty narrow-minded pig who supports gender inequality. No, I am not looking at a maybe-son as my successor and to tell the truth, I am strictly against the dowry system. Rest assured, I am not killing my maybe-daughter inside the womb either. I respect...

We might be one of those who confuse between Self respect the virtue and Ego the vice.The reason is simple:Both infuse a sense of pride. What I feel is ego and self respect are the two extremes of a single line. Unlocking the mystery is vital. Before moving to the differences, let us address the two — Ego and Self Respect. Definitions of Ego and Self Respect Ego is negative. It is an emerging belief arising from deliberate comparison of oneself with others.We compare ourselves with both the higher and lower people we consider in terms of money, power, authority, appearance, anything. Either we feel superior or we get hurt. Self respect is positive. There is a deeper consciousness where we commit only to actions that don't cause shame while doing it or afterward. A heightened state when there's self-acceptance regardless of possessions and identities.  I love this citation: “There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.” —John C. Maxwell It wonderfully defines the two often confused Ego and Self Respect.Let us jump right into the differences: 15 differences between Ego and Self respect Ego- We bow down to the ones we consider superior to us, and bully/ignore the ones inferior in our adulterated minds.Self Respect- There's a positive attitude where we love everyone including ourselves.Ego- Me only me... there's only self-interest even at the cost of hurting others. What's worse, we are unconscious of it most times.Self Respect- We, we, or after you... We take care of everyone's sentiments, never hurting anyone intentionally. Same time making sure our voice is heard.Ego- We are in constant comparison and competition with others. We desire to beat them anyhow.Self Respect- We don't compare ourselves to others. We aspire to touch our deeper selves.Ego- We deliberately choose the wrong means, opt for shortcuts, be manipulative just to satisfy our ego.Self Respect- Our respect for ourselves is supreme which refrains from committing to the wrong. It encourages to choose difficult paths, the tough responses.Ego- We fear the outside world — people and situations. The reason is simple: Self-conceit is hollow, so we fear any change from the monotony could expose our nudity as naked.Self Respect- We fear no one as there's nothing to hide. We welcome the new through a positive attitude and self-belief. Ego- It dwells on materialistic achievements and alluring drives. We buy an expensive mobile or a new car, it fuels our ego. We feel superior to others. But when we lose money or power, our ego is shattered. There's always dependency for happiness.Self Respect- It is an inner virtue not fuelled by materialism. It is a guiding light from our deeper self independent of the outside world.Ego- It fulfills with negative emotions deriving out of self-pride. These negative emotions are hatred, jealousy, anger, greed, impatience, and the like. We don't hesitate to harm and misuse others.Self Respect - When we ride high on self-respect, we love ourselves and respect...

Let us define passion in the first place...  Passion could be anything which you love to do, which stays with you every moment till your last breath. The things which you feel from within, leading to happiness is your passion. Dedicating long continuous hours to passion is something which you are not forced upon. It is your choice. Pursuing passion is not a work-load, it's recreation. It does not tire you but energizes you. According to Wikipedia, "Passion is a feeling of intense enthusiasm towards or compelling desire for someone or something." One could be passionate about anything; singing, dancing, reading, playing any sport, playing an instrument, gyming, photography, painting, cooking, and so on... The feeling of effortlessly following the passion is magical and unmatched. Lucky they are who could discover their passion; Luckier are the ones who get an opportunity to pursue it. Another face of passion... There are many things which you can do passionately, but it does not involve money. Following compassion passionately, loving someone passionately, devotion to God are a few examples. But in this post, I am referring to the passion-oriented careers, the fields you are relying upon for your source of bread. The path of pursuing your passion: Often, hobbies lead to passion. Remember, hobbies are the things you like to do while passion involves things you love to do. Yes, it might sound similar but there is a huge difference between the two. The feeling associated with passion is quite intense compared to enjoying a hobby. How? Let us try to dig deep into it. Reading, writing, singing, dancing, cooking, playing, painting, are some of the hobbies. Say, playing cricket is your hobby. But unless you are a good cricketer and you dedicate your full time and potency to improve and adapt, it cannot be called your passion. Playing it as a favorite pass time cannot turn you into a successful cricketer unless you follow it passionately. Therefore, it's important not to hope for the outcome of a passion just by enjoying a hobby. The obstacles in the passion-driven journey... There is no problem if you are passionate in conventional fields. What I mean is, if you want to become an engineer, doctor, lawyer or you want to pursue your family business, it is all fine. But the path of the passion-driven journey can be extremely tough if you want to become a writer, singer, actor, model, photographer, footballer, painter dancer, comedian and the like. In such domains, only finding passion never means you will be able to pursue it and most importantly, complete the passion-driven journey. Do you know why? It is because of the 5 major hindrances: 1. Non-Acceptance Yes, you read it right, 'Non-Acceptance.' These fields are still struggling to find acceptance in the first place. In most of the countries especially Asian countries, you just can't do what you want to do without the acceptance of two sections of people -'Parents and Society.' Hard to believe but it is a fact. And this is why you have to go out of the way to...