Is Thinking Good or Bad?

Is Thinking Good or Bad?
Straight out, positive thinking is good, while negative thinking is bad. But this answer is not that simple than it appears.  The question, whether thinking is good or bad, is a very subjective question. It is subjective because the answer to it varies from person to person, and situation to situation. Most of us might have answers to this question based on our real-life experiences. According to people who have sweet memories attached to thinking, thinking might have a positive connotation. Likewise, thinking can have a negative interpretation in the opinion of people who have been often hit by thinking adversely.  Let us try to analyze the two conditions when thinking is good.  1. FAVOURABLE CONDITION Practically, when situations are favorable and everything in the personal and professional sphere is happening according to you, your approach towards life-situations is positive by default. Yes, your thinking is bound to be bright and spirited. It is because the dark side/ negative side of the mind is untouched, and you are not tested. 2. DEMANDING CONDITION There are also situations which demand thinking; the state of affairs where thinking is an essence. Few instances...a student solving a mathematical problem will obviously require thinking. A teenager obviously needs to think about his/her career opportunities. An artist, a blogger, a businessman, a serviceman, all require thinking in their professional spheres. In these instances, your mind is thinking productively and therefore emits positivity. Now, let us try to comprehend the conditions when thinking is bad. 1. HOSTILE CONDITION The mind often falls prey to the unfriendly situations where you are unable to cope with the unfavorable changes. Unexpected daily-life problems, failures and losses, mishaps and misfortunes are some of the situations when your mind is not able to sink in the turnaround. Your best friend Stress is always with you in these situations. Subsequently, thoughts, which are obviously negative at that time, does not allow you to move on. Finally, your mind gets stuck with those thoughts and positivity is denied. 2. IDLE CONDITION You might undergo phases and situations in life when you are not doing anything. Even in everyday life, you are not working all the time. That particular time(the idle time) does not demand thinking. Avoidance of thinking is a must at this very time. On the contrary, instead of feeling the moments of solitude, you consume the mental energies in unnecessary thinking. By and by, components like inner self-complexities and insecurities begin to add fuel to your thoughts. Finally, grudges, jealousies, comparisons are the extracts from the negative thinking, evolving out of idleness. No wonder, positivity is denied. Time for some Happy Realizations... Positive/productive thinking is a boon while idle/unproductive thinking is a bane. Positive thinking can make you while negative thinking can break you. There are also times when you don't want to think, but you are not able to get rid of negative thoughts. I know it is not easy but you know what, it is not difficult either. The best way you can do it through meditation. Meditation is the best way where you...

Is it fine to ask for help from others?

Asking for help is a healthy sign. It shows your commitment to solving a problem. It shows your positive attitude that you are always open for improvement. It also signifies that you are a team player and value the suggestions of others. However, there are a few problems associated with asking for help. Well, the main issue is that you do not always run to the right person to seek help. In professional as well as in the personal sphere, only a few people genuinely want to help. There are many individuals who always look for opportunities to harm you in one way or the other.  They always want to take undue advantage of your helpless situation. Therefore, you need to be very careful while choosing people on whom you confide your trust.  Keep in mind, never make it a habit of rushing to people for petty issues. It shall make you dependent on others and never let you come out of your comfort zone. Consequently, your individual growth will be restricted. Seeking help from others now and then also shows your incapability and incompetence to deal with a problem. Eventually, people will start avoiding you.  

What is a self confession and why is it important?

What is Self Confession? No one is perfect. It is quite human to commit mistakes and errors.  However, the important thing is to take responsibility for the mistakes, take corrective measures to rectify it and make sure to never repeat it again. Interestingly, mistakes are of two types: Which gets noticed by others. Which gets noticed only by the individual who committed it. In this article, I am addressing the type two mistakes, which are committed solitarily, irrespective of whether anyone is around or not.  Yes, I am referring to the errors which get unnoticed by others, the mistakes in which the person committing it is only the witness. Well, these are the mistakes which only our inner-self is aware of, the errors which we cannot accept and admit in front of others.  Thus, it becomes imperative to admit it in front of ourselves. This confession of the mistake/error to oneself is nothing but a SELF CONFESSION. Few such mistakes in which self-confession is important: Forming a negative opinion about an unknown person Taking the loved ones for granted Getting carried away by the materialistic drives Inner-self complexity and inferiority-superiority complex Avoiding compassion Pervert thoughts Not expressing yourself Unnecessary judgment about people A discrepancy between your physical and mental appearance  Competition and comparison with others Inability to say no to others    These are some of the examples in which only our inner-self is the witness. And cannot be apparently seen by others as these conditions are within an individual. A few heartfelt Realizations: As most of the above-mentioned mistakes are not apparently seen by others, it becomes extremely important to make self-confessions where we admit our errors and mistakes to ourselves. Only when we admit it, we can rectify it to boost up our inner-self attributes like self-confidence and self-esteem. Always remember, our instincts play a vital role in letting us know about our mistakes. Let us not avoid it just because we think nobody can see it or no one will get to know about it. My dear friend, you are highly mistaken if you think likewise. Always remember, sooner or later, it will start reflecting in your attitude. And finally, it shall transform into your behavior where it will become virtually impossible for you to hide your mistakes even from the outside world. Let us never forget that our mind is extremely vulnerable and gets carried away easily. Self-confessions boost our inner-self to such an extent where even when we get alone time to think and do whatever we want to, we shall always be able to say no to ourselves from committing the things which are wrong. The significance of self-confession: Self-confessions help us to eliminate self-humiliation because when we are committing things which we know are wrong(mistakes), it leads to self-embarrassment and self-humiliation where we begin to curse and abuse ourselves. In the process, our self-love diminishes dramatically. Let us sink into minds that self-love is the essence of quality living. Let us never neglect the mistakes. Be courageous to make self-confessions and...

How to unburden the load of performing huge tasks and responsibilities?

When we encounter a huge task, many of us surrender to it. The word ‘Huge’ describing a task itself begins to lose hope within us. However, is the task always daunting? Interestingly, the task is not huge, our mind makes it huge. Often, it is the burden of the responsibility and not the responsibility, which stresses our minds and breaks us from within. A task will take the same amount of time which it requires to get accomplished. The unnecessary burden created by our mind never entitles us to accomplish the task before time. Moreover, sizing the task itself is a problem. Sizing implies we are preparing our minds to make it an uphill task. Consequently, it keeps us away from initiating it. So, when we really need to accomplish a task, let us start doing it. It is the initiation, they say relieves half of the task's weight.  Sometimes, even if we start, the performance pressure to deliver starts reflecting in our performance. The mental overload of work, duties, and responsibilities creates a fear inside the minds, which keeps us away from indulgence and enjoyment of work. As a result, we try to run away from those tasks. We create a repulsion attitude towards it and finally, either we leave the task then and there, or we underperform.  How many times we have noticed that when we assure our minds to start a particular task from tomorrow but we accidentally start it casually today, we thoroughly enjoyed it. The task is performed even better and is accomplished well within the time limits. Yes, it happens, and it comes off because of the stress-free mental environment because of the evasion of the unwanted performance pressure. Hence, let us break the task into bits and take the bite one by one. It is equally important to take some rest in-between tasks which rejuvenate our spirit. The bigger we see a task, the larger it shall drain our energy and spirit. Remember, a smaller mouthful is chewed easily and relished more than the bigger one. Let us unburden ourselves to perform the best of our abilities and capabilities.  

20 happy realizations to experience during this painful lockdown

realizations during lockdown
A lockdown for bodies, but minds still wandering... And this distance between mind and body — it’s turning the inevitable pain into self-made suffering. But that’s the downside!! Let’s talk about the upside... the positives through this period. Let’s try to experience these happy realizations: 1. Death connecting us to life People are dying everywhere. It provokes fear of death now and then at every heart, no different you and me. But amidst all these did you realize: We literally experienced our biggest fear Death sitting at home? Gracious we are alive!  Is there a bigger blessing? I don’t think so. Let’s celebrate life with a toast to breath as the biggest reason to smile. 2. Higher sensitivity towards poverty and hunger It’s not only about this lockdown when the poor are dying of hunger. Earlier, most of us could only sympathize. We could not take that one step further — to think about doing something for them. Why? Either shortage of time or our own lives in a turmoil. Now as we standstill, there are more volunteers to think about the poor. This lockdown has taken our sympathies to another level. And that’s wonderful! 3. Turning faces towards the real mirror — Self-awareness We are denied worldly experiences ongoing lockdown. But this phase made us dig deep within to feel ourselves.  The deeper we touch, the darker it feels!! But do you know the sunnier part? At least we are facing the real mirror! We are meeting ourselves everyday. We are knowing ourselves more! No matter beautiful or ugly reflects our face in the real mirror of self-awareness, we are experiencing the taste of our company. It is leading to self-acceptance — the foundation of self-love! 4. Inculcating a new interest Earlier we never got this length of me-time. With a lockdown of direct connections with the outside world, the sharpness of the mind has less to dissect. Maybe it’s time for the soul to reach a deeper dimension without self-judgments. Picking up that half-read old book from the shelf, Tuning-in the chords of the broken guitar, Scribbling emotions in our personal diary,  Pursuing the hobby left out of responsibility, Learning different meditation or yoga practices, Let it be anything that pulls our interest! Who knows, we discover an artist within who flares the life-spark rest of our lives. 5. Connection with smiling nature after decades  Neither money is having the last laugh nor the people. It’s nature smiling! We must feel happy for them.  After all this damage, it resurrected! The air turned cleaner; the tress became greener; the water got purer. Guess what? The renewed nature is blessing us with a healthy life! Do we really need anything else? I feel nothing can draw our interest more than getting richer with nature’s wealth. Let’s celebrate nature, preserve the wealth it’s bestowing! 6. Our battle is always in the inside We have been our comparing lives with people, competing against them. Conveniently we have been blaming them for all the wrong happening with us. But about this time, we are not against outside; we are exploring the truth: We have been battling against our illusions. And it is always about the inside! We are meeting our inner critic... the real audience. And it’s an original ball game altogether. No doubt the battle has got tougher but...

I AM NEGATIVE BUT IT WAS NEVER MY CHOICE…

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This write-up is quite close to my heart as it is straight out from my heart. I was going through an ugly phase in my life, and like many others didn't have the courage to accept it. That phase has taught me a lot and it is my responsibility to share a few of my realizations. As it comes: First of all, be patient. RELAX. It is entirely reasonable. In fact, don’t forget to Thank God as He has made you an emotionally active person. Also, you are smarter and pro-active than many others. It is because you at least understood, realized and accepted the fact that you are facing rational problems and now, you are ready to challenge it and find the solutions to these problems. It is the reason why you are here, scrolling down, seeking solutions to solve your physiological mysteries. Well done mate! You deserve a pat on your back as you landed on the right harbor.  Believe me; I can completely understand what you are going through from inside. It is the flood of negative emotions inside you, which is not only keeping you away from happiness but also choking your breath.  Reasons to feel negative: I know your reasons to feel negative might be varied and classified. Sometimes, you blame people, at times situations and sometimes destiny for your negativity. Actually, It is opposite to the way you think.You need to realize that facing negativity is not a problem.A bitter realization is on its way...You need to realize the cause of your negativity is no one except YOU. It might have come hard at you but most of the times, it is a fact. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you act to target the right cause for your negativity and subsequently, act upon it. Friends, we all love the blame game. Nevertheless, what happens after the blame game? Do you feel light or does your negativity gets eliminated? No, never. In fact, it acts as a base to attract more negative energies. This process goes on and on until you become an entirely negative person. The entire process: You need to comprehend the vicious circle, which is ruining us. It will enable you to target the right problem and work on that. Let me explain this vicious circle by boiling down to the nitty-gritty. The vicious circle: Idleness- Thinking- Overthinking- Feel less- Losing the awareness in the present moment-Losing happiness- Negative thinking- A fully negative person- Blame game- Non-productivity/Idleness. This flow chain says it all. Let me explain it to you quickly. You are not always working. Sometimes, when your mind is not working, instead of feeling and enjoying the now, most of us involve our minds in idle-thinking. Idle-thinking is extremely dangerous as your mind is not thinking about anything productive that time. When that thinking is stretched for an elongated time, it leads to overthinking. Overthinking about anything non-productive acts as a base to attract other negative energies. One point to be noted is that it is the idle-thinking, which I am talking about,...

Nothing hits you harder than the process of Self Realization and Self Actualization…

Self Realization and Self Actualization
Self Realization and Self Actualization... Let me start this post with a short story. It is a typical father-son conversation, but it is not stereotypical by any means... Father: Son, why are you sitting alone with a long face? Son: Nothing Dad, I just want to be alone. Father: That's absolutely fine...but whenever you want to talk about anything, I am always around. Son: (Sighs) Dad, please stay. (After a long pause) Can I say something? Father: (Smiles) Of course, go ahead. I am all ears. Son: Dad, I am feeling very lonely and depressed. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any idea where my life is heading. I am not able to find any course of action to be implemented.  My inner-self is at all time low.  I look back and I only find failures. I am feeling worthless and helpless. I am not able to handle the stress. I am losing it. It has also started taking a toll on my conduct. My anger is taking a toll on me. I have begun losing my friends because of my behavioral changes. I am losing awareness. I am losing happiness. I am losing myself. Dad, I am losing everything. (about to cry). Father: Relax son. Have a glass of water. (Calms him down and begins). Let me share a real-life incident with you which I underwent around 20 years back. That day, I got a salary hike, and I was returning home from the office. I had a scooter to commute those days. On that particular day, because of the heavy and relentless rain, I had to hire a public transport (bus) to come back home from the office. While I was on my way back home, I was jubilant. I was happy because I got a raise that day. It was like a dream come true. Whatmore, I got a seat to sit on the bus which was full. I was feeling very lucky and happy. I was on top of the world.  In due course, an elderly woman boarded the bus. She stood by my seat as there were no empty seats available. A few moments later, with an agonizing look, she expressed that she is tired and not able to stand. She wanted me to get up from the seat and allow her to sit. I was too high and busy in myself that I didn’t bother about her pain. Not even that, with a grinning smile, I made fun of her. I even passed her lousy comments. I was so important to me that time that I was not able to realize her misery. She was so disturbed that she left there and moved to the rear side of the bus. After some time, I turned back. Finally, she got a seat to sit. A girl, who whose age was around 20 had given her seat to her (old woman). I was stunned to see who that girl was. You will be shocked too. Do you want to know who was she? Son:  Absolutely...

What is the difference between ‘Loser attitude and Nothing to lose attitude’?

Before evaluating the differences, let's find out the similarity between both the attitude.  Did you notice that both the attitude have four consecutive letters in common-'LOSE'? You know what does it mean? It means that both the attitude(loser/nothing to lose) are provoked by a loss. Now, there are two possible conditions involving a loss.  You are on the verge of losing. You have already lost. Subsequently, when you encounter any of the above-mentioned situations,  it provokes either a 'nothing to lose' attitude or you develop a 'loser attitude'.   An example involving sports where you are on the verge of losing... Two players are playing a game of squash inside two different courts.  The game is of 5 sets. Both the players lose the first two sets. Obviously, the recovery seems extremely difficult hereon. Now, let us try to compare and analyze their respective attitude where one develops a loser attitude while the other develops a nothing to lose attitude.  The one with the ‘loser attitude:’ After losing the first two sets out of five, the person with a negative mindset starts considering himself as a loser even before the result of the game. It evokes fear inside him and he begins saying to himself that he cannot win from this particular game-situation. Eventually, he surrenders to a situation and showcases a ‘loser attitude’ in the subsequent game-set. This attitude fails to deliver miserably, no need to mention the outcome. The one with the ‘nothing to lose attitude.’   A person with a positive frame of mind sees things differently. After losing the first two sets, he sets himself free. Even he starts considering himself as a loser but with a different mindset. As soon as he accepts his loss, he starts seeing it as a different ball game altogether. It evokes a fearless attitude within him as he is already considering himself as a loser. He starts feeling that he cannot go down anymore and plays the rest of the game carefree and stress-free. Trust me, most of the times he is able to turn the tables around from nowhere, and an evident lose turns out to be a surprising victory. Let us consider a monetary example where the loss has already occurred: Two businessmen suffered a huge financial loss in their respective trades. The one with a loser attitude: The person with the loser attitude starts feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He is not able to sink that loss inside his mind. As a result, it never lets him overcome that loss or defeat. That fear of losing refrains him from starting again. As a result, he always considers himself a loser.  The one with a nothing to lose attitude: There is the other businessman who considers it as an opportunity, the opportunity to start from scratch, where he cannot go down beyond it. This attitude allows him to realize his mistakes so that he never repeats it again. Time for some Happy Realizations!!! Friends, we all lose on something at some point in time.  But what makes us a loser or winner depends...

HOW CAN ONE STOP GETTING AFFECTED WHEN SURROUNDED BY NEGATIVITY/NEGATIVE PEOPLE AROUND?

Ok, let me second that negative people and things surround you. Simultaneously, don't you feel that an individual or a situation detrimental to you could be positive for others? Moreover, don't you think it is entirely practicable that others find you cynical? Having said that, does that make you negative? No, it does not. One thing you need to realize is every individual perceive people and situations according to him/her. I am sorry but only seeing negativity implies that you are wearing a defective pair of lenses. Please stop playing the blame game. Always remember that you can never get affected by others when you have a dominant and a powerful inner-self.  Straight out, getting carried away by negativity emitted by people and situations is your incompetency to deal with it. Feeling cynical because of others implies that you are not under the influence of your aura. It indicates that you are dwelling on others' aura. Summon into mind that YOU are the only reason for your negativity or positivity. You cannot get affected by others if you have a prestigious and powerful inner self. Moreover, one more thing you need to understand is that you should not stay quiet if you have an opinion. Speak up. Express yourself. Let people know what you feel. Flushing out emotional feelings then and there always makes you feel lighter. Subsequently, it enables you to keep away from negativity. Retaining things inside you gives birth to negativity. Eventually, you start playing the blame game. Stop doing it.  

It is your responsibility to complete the process; Sympathy-Empathy-Compassion

Let us fathom a  difference among sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Sympathy is to feel sorry for others’ misfortunes, to feel pity for someone’s pain and plight. When you raise the level of sympathy feeling what others are going through, it is Empathy. Empathy is a more intense feeling than sympathy where you sense the pain of others by stepping into their shoes. If empathy is to feel the pain of others by stepping into their shoes, Compassion is to walk wearing those shoes. It is the conversion of feelings into action, doing something to relieve their pain. As it comes: You are fortunate if you can sympathize. Others' plight does not affect everyone. Kudos! Humanity prevails within you. But is it enough? No, it's not. With sympathy comes responsibility, responsibility to convert those feelings into actions. Sympathy only cannot solve their problems.  My dear friend, sympathy leading to empathy, and empathy leading to compassion is a process, which must be completed. It may not be possible every time but trust me, it is possible most of the times. You can always extend either your tangible or intangible support. Let us assume two instances from daily life, one seeking tangible support and the other seeking intangible support. Let’s find out whether you are sympathetic, empathetic or compassionate? The instance seeking your intangible support... Not only you are surrounded by life but also death surrounds you. Let's be practical. Someone known to you dies once in a while. And in this situation, feeling sympathetic about the loss sitting at your home is not doing any good to the ones who lost their loved one. If you feel bad about it, go to them and express your sympathy. Trust me, even a few encouraging words is an act of compassion here. It is because this is the best you can do in this situation. No one can overturn this unfavorable situation. But what you can offer here is your intangible support. Never refrain from showing up to people experiencing these situations. Sink into the mind that people acknowledge your face in a funeral more than in a celebration. If they are facing it today, it can be you tomorrow. If you need shoulders, offer a shoulder first. The instance seeking your tangible support... You see an old disabled person; worn clothes, as skinny as a rail, helplessly lying down on the roadside. Instinctively, you feel sympathy towards him. ‘Cruel life,’ you mutter to yourself. A few thoughts of kindness follow your ongoing feelings. Dear friend... You are right until now. But the problem is you change thereon… You start putting allegations as per your convenience… on God, destiny, government, country, people, and so on. Ironically, you blame everyone for their plight except yourself. You feel lighter because you think you bailed yourself out of that situation. Sorry but to say the least, you step back at the action time. It is the same case when you want the street drains clean after throwing garbage inside it. Next day, you come across the other incident of the same genre and repeat the same process. Sorry but this is happening with...

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