How to deal with negative emotions which are dominant over my happiness?
First of all, you are not a robot, who will not feel anything. It is quite human to feel things and allow the emotions act accordingly. However, what creates a problem is staying in the same mode for an elongated time.
It is very healthy to experience emotions. Nonetheless, what's important is never hold the emotions inside you over a long period. It is equally essential to treat the negative emotions same as the positive emotions. A person who treats a failure same as his/her success doesn’t have to search for happiness outside.
There are few things which will help you to stay away from negativity:
-A healthy body holds a healthy brain. This mind helps us to make decisions. Therefore, eat healthy to think healthy.
- Meditate for inner peace and happiness. The people who always stay happy and stress-free are the ones who know how to connect with their inner self.
-It is equally important to connect with people. Therefore, love, laugh, enjoy with the people around you. The World itself is an inspiration.
- Our surrounding plays a significant role in our upbringing. Therefore, it is important to have good friends; few friends doesn't matter.
-Never look for a reason to be happy. You, yourself are the biggest reason for your happiness.
-Treat yourself on small achievements. Always try to be self-motivated.
-Make peace with your past. Never over-think about situations that hurt you in the past.
-Be compassionate.Make somebody happy. It creates a euphoric sensation within you and makes you a better person. Be kind and generous to people who are less privileged than you.
You know yourself better than others. So, start listening to yourself and stay away from negativity.
12 Reasons to Push the Boundaries of Your Comfort Zone
First, let us understand the meaning of comfort zone...
Comfort zone is a luxury created by your mind which is repulsive to a change. It is because when a change occurs, something different from the usual takes place, giving way to something new. So you can say that the ‘change’ is directly proportional to the ‘new’.
And here we arrive at a straightforward definition...
Your comfort zone is the barrier which restricts the new to enter your world.
Let us recall a few instances testing the boundaries of your comfort zone...
1. The most common one... leaving the bed in the morning... sleep comforts you and getting out of it is difficult. The choice is yours... you want to get up and exercise, meditate, leave for work, kick-start your day... or you want to snooze the alarm and stay within the boundaries of your comfort zone.
2. You are working in a bank in your hometown. You are offered a raise and promotion in the same bank outside your hometown. It is your call to settle with the comfort boundaries of your hometown or explore the new by opting to go out.
3. Someone meets with an accident in front of you. He needs help, and he is seeking help. Whether you will be compassionate enough to break the boundaries of your comfort zone... your call.
4. Your Air Conditioner is on in summers. But one hot summer night, your A.C is not working and spend the entire night without it. This is an example where there is no other option but to accept the change. Whether or not you accept the change gracefully is the real test of your comfort zone.
5. You are not well versed in speaking English. You are invited to a formal function where people mostly converse in English. It is your call to take that as an opportunity by backing up with a positive attitude or you could surrender to your comfort zone by not attending it.
6. You travel by air but unfortunately, the flight ticket is not available but reaching that place is crucial. And so travel by train. Again an instance where your comfort zone is tested. Always remember, not only traveling by train but traveling by train happily is the real test of your comfort zone.
7. An afternoon nap is a part of your daily routine. But if anyone from your personal or professional atmosphere wants to meet you during that time, it will test your comfort zone.
8. You need to reach your destination but you don’t know the route directions. You may go there self-drive challenging the situation or you can hire a cab surrendering to the situation.
What happens when you don’t allow the new to enter your world?
Everyone enjoys their comfort zone and wants to stay inside it. But change is inevitable. Change is something you cannot change. So when the boundary of your comfort zone is pre-defined, it restricts you from accepting the change gracefully. As a result, you never experience the new.
When you don’t taste the new, I am...
4 Mindshifts During This Lockdown to Keep You in Sanity
The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health?
Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires?
Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering?
Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before?
Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics?
If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas.
High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts.
Let’s understand what’s cooking
A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering.
Like too much to take!
And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition.
The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted!
Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now.
To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period!
What all of it is resulting to?
Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity.
I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine.
And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark.
I walked out in a better headspace!
A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind.
I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful.
4 Mindshifts for a better headspace
A mere acceptance of your pain
Human race is mourning to bereavement,
Eyes around reflect deep down fears,
Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death,
Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never,
Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,
Like everything brought to a standstill!
Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world.
You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out.
The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety.
But my dear friend... you need to realize:
Not only you, your family, your city, or your country...
It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now.
So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal!
Yes you need to accept this right now...
Better said... you might wonder:
How should I gracefully accept this change?
Just acknowledge you are not battling alone.
It's not only about you this time... we are in this together!
This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain.
It brings the acceptance you need!
Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering.
Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive!
You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living.
You got to feel grateful for this!
You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness.
If I ask you:
Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point?
I think many of us would admit:
Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did!
If...
A jack of all cards can compete with four kings…
Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning?
Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely.
Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally.
It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it...
My personal realizations:
There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion.
It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it.
You know why I used to get hurt so badly?
It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”
I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life.
I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic.
One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.”
The connotation of "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings"
Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you.
You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...
20 happy realizations to experience during this painful lockdown
A lockdown for bodies, but minds still wandering...
And this distance between mind and body — it’s turning the inevitable pain into self-made suffering.
But that’s the downside!!
Let’s talk about the upside... the positives through this period.
Let’s try to experience these happy realizations:
1. Death connecting us to life
People are dying everywhere.
It provokes fear of death now and then at every heart, no different you and me.
But amidst all these did you realize:
We literally experienced our biggest fear Death sitting at home?
Gracious we are alive!
Is there a bigger blessing? I don’t think so.
Let’s celebrate life with a toast to breath as the biggest reason to smile.
2. Higher sensitivity towards poverty and hunger
It’s not only about this lockdown when the poor are dying of hunger.
Earlier, most of us could only sympathize. We could not take that one step further — to think about doing something for them.
Why? Either shortage of time or our own lives in a turmoil.
Now as we standstill, there are more volunteers to think about the poor.
This lockdown has taken our sympathies to another level. And that’s wonderful!
3. Turning faces towards the real mirror — Self-awareness
We are denied worldly experiences ongoing lockdown.
But this phase made us dig deep within to feel ourselves.
The deeper we touch, the darker it feels!!
But do you know the sunnier part?
At least we are facing the real mirror!
We are meeting ourselves everyday.
We are knowing ourselves more!
No matter beautiful or ugly reflects our face in the real mirror of self-awareness, we are experiencing the taste of our company.
It is leading to self-acceptance — the foundation of self-love!
4. Inculcating a new interest
Earlier we never got this length of me-time.
With a lockdown of direct connections with the outside world, the sharpness of the mind has less to dissect.
Maybe it’s time for the soul to reach a deeper dimension without self-judgments.
Picking up that half-read old book from the shelf,
Tuning-in the chords of the broken guitar,
Scribbling emotions in our personal diary,
Pursuing the hobby left out of responsibility,
Learning different meditation or yoga practices,
Let it be anything that pulls our interest!
Who knows, we discover an artist within who flares the life-spark rest of our lives.
5. Connection with smiling nature after decades
Neither money is having the last laugh nor the people. It’s nature smiling!
We must feel happy for them.
After all this damage, it resurrected!
The air turned cleaner; the tress became greener; the water got purer.
Guess what? The renewed nature is blessing us with a healthy life!
Do we really need anything else?
I feel nothing can draw our interest more than getting richer with nature’s wealth.
Let’s celebrate nature, preserve the wealth it’s bestowing!
6. Our battle is always in the inside
We have been our comparing lives with people, competing against them.
Conveniently we have been blaming them for all the wrong happening with us.
But about this time, we are not against outside; we are exploring the truth:
We have been battling against our illusions. And it is always about the inside!
We are meeting our inner critic... the real audience.
And it’s an original ball game altogether.
No doubt the battle has got tougher but...
How can anyone feel positive with so much negativity around?
The world is full of negative energies and negative people around us. There are many instances which we see, hear, read and subsequently feel every day. The unnatural deaths due to deadly diseases, sudden accidents, brutal rapes, fatal crimes; moreover the betrayals, hypocrisy, jealousy and many more…you are bound to feel negative. But, this is one way of feeling it.
Let us introduce ourselves to another way of looking at things. Despite all of the negativity happening around us, we also have all the reasons to feel content. We have a shelter to shed, food to eat, water to drink, money to spend. On top of that, WE HAVE TIME TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE while most of the people do not have time to breathe freely.
Compare yourself, but with the ones who can only dream of living your life. STOP COMPLAINING. You have all the right reasons to feel positive. Start feeling and enjoying happiness NOW.
Last but not the least, follow compassion. Helping others and making others happy is a definite way to feel happy and positive.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO LOOK HAPPY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE DESPITE BEING SAD?
No, you must never keep your sadness inside you. Express yourself out. Let people know that you are unhappy. Let them know that you are feeling isolated and depressed. Surely, you will feel a lot better and positive.
Satirically, sometimes it may be the situation wherein people in front of whom you want to look happy could be the ones who are responsible for your sadness. Yes, there are situations when the reason for your desolation are the individuals who pretend to be yours; could be anyone from your family or friends. As a result, it becomes extremely tough to flood out your feelings towards them. Eventually, what you do is retain your painful emotions inside and hurt yourself even more.
Remember, in any case; it is never advisable to preserve the sentiments inside you. Summon into your mind that it is even more important to express your true feelings towards those people, in particular. They are ones whom you talk to or meet them daily. You cannot escape from them. Keeping your emotions inside can ruin your life completely. Let the feelings flow out.
However, sometimes it is only your misconceptions about a person which is responsible for your sadness. Shockingly, the person whom you are holding accountable for your sadness doesn’t even know about it. Don't you feel that the individual concerned must know about it? Yes, you owe him/her at least that much.
Sometimes, you might feel that your expressiveness might lose that person; Rest assured, you will find yourself.
How to get over self judgments stopping to accept the real you?
Do you often engage with self-sabotaging thoughts?
Do you feel a pang of unusual guilt during most of your life proceedings?
Is feeling unworthy killing you from inside?
Is fear of embarrassments squeezing your natural emotions?
If any of this is customary with you, you often press the button of self-judgments.
Which phase is this?
The hard times when you find more reasons to self-criticize, less to appreciate yourself.
Those scary nights when you either accuse yourself of all the wrong happening with people... or you blame people for all the bad in your life.
The times when you want to stay alone, but could not find peace even in retreat. In fact, it sinks you deeper.
Around all this, you could only suffer like a victim or feel lonely.
I’m sure you are dying to get out of the rut!
But before looking for an exit route, let me ask you:
Have you ever met yourself wherever you are... wearing your own shoes?
What I’m curious about is:
You ever stayed with your shallow self in his slumps?
Did you ever treat yourself like your best friend seeking advice?
Or you just cannot take the self-beating, and you walk away ignorant, without facing yourself in the mirror of self-awareness?
What’s stopping to meet the real you?
Most likely your mind is overthinking ━ about people, situations... all in the outside world.
The more you think, the more you judge them.
And those judgments in the outside world are leading to judgments inside.
That’s dangerous!!
In those mind games, you rarely meet the real you.
You just cripple... lost to the outside world.
Everyone else controls your emotions, not you.
You won't deny:
Even if you encounter yourself in this phase, it’s a subconscious encounter, mostly soaked in negative self-talk.
Everything during this time just shallows your existence, pushing you well within your unexplored boundaries.
Wondering how to surpass this?
Your revival setups with a small conscious self encounter
Try a simple exercise:
Give yourself that me time when you actually step into your own shoes to feel yourself.
That zone where there is no one else... not even your mind, not your body.
It’s just you talking to your soul!
Remember the motive of this session is to feel light about yourself.
Wait... before you start, you need to know:
You just cannot jump right into your character and start feeling the depth of your soul straightway.
I feel there is always a medium to reach there until you are that conscious.
Well that medium could be your way of reaching out to yourself.
It could be anything which rests you here, in the now, where you are detached outside and connected inside.
Playing a sport or Connecting to music,
Reading or by Writing,
Meditating or by Yoga,
Singing or by Dancing,
Feeling blessed or Just by being yourself,
That’s simply your choice!!
Let’s do that...
Arrange a small session You with Yourself every day at a fixed time.
No one around, just you attending yourself.
No thoughts landing anywhere...just sail with flowing time!
The session where you try to be good to yourself like you try to be with people.
No matter how:
deep your insecurities,
bad you are hurt,
hard you are hit,
down you are under...
Make sure you host yourself with...
What is contentment and how can I feel it?
Contentment is the realization of a beautiful soul.
It is a feeling which resides within every individual, but only a few are able to explore it.
It's completely different from materialistic happiness dependent on the outside world.
Counting your blessings is the best way to reach there!
A hungry person when smells the aroma of food, it is contentment.
A mother while feeding her child sees a smile on his/her face, it is contentment.
Father, when he sees his daughter in her wedding dress, is contentment.
Contentment is not a thought. It's an unmatched feeling that awakens the lively buds of your soul.
You cannot buy contentment; you earn it!
When you see a flower, it's beauty and scent fills your heart with positivity. At times, you want to become that flower by aromatizing the life of others and spreading happiness.
When one small act of yours brings a smile to someone’s face or a tear of joy in those eyes, that compassion within you is nothing but contentment.
Even in your work sphere, the feeling derived from doing work that makes you happy is contentment.
Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you fail. When you succeed, you feel a sense of joy, it is contentment.
Even when you fail, a proud feeling must arise that you fulfilled the demand of that particular situation by giving your best. That feeling is nothing but contentment.
However, you have to make sure that blissfulness derived out of contentment should never lead to complacency.
It must always make you stress-free rather than making you carefree.
It must push you further than to pull you back.
Remember, standing water gets dirty quickly. So, never stop and keep flowing.
You Lose Via Expectations…
When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative. Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations?
Why do you expect and from whom do you expect?
In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation.
Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish.
Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection.
Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations.
The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations?
The never-ending expectation process:
Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day.
Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people.
You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them.
In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.
Let me bombard a few questions on you...
If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations?
Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it.
Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong.
Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...