Love and Relationships

How many times are you told by elders, friends and mentors to develop a positive attitude? Everyone instructs to do it, but only a few have directions on how to do it? What’s your attitude An attitude is a mindset developed over time, through experiences of resilience and observations about people and things.  It’s a predisposition to respond in a certain way, to both the known and unknown.  Simply, your attitude is your perspective towards life proceedings. It speaks a lot about you. Expressions ( often called as body language) is the indicator of your attitude towards people.  That doesn’t mean you should start dancing to them. Allow the real inside to roll your reel outside. And that’s why we need a positive attitude, to respond better in the now, so we unlock our desires, and dive into the flow of achieving them.  What's Positive Attitude? Positive attitude is Integrity —  honesty towards people and commitment to oneself.  The headspace where you are optimistic yet surrender to the present beyond control. It unleashes vibes of nothing to lose and experiences to gain, the approach that sets the spirit free to express your true self and unlock higher possibilities. Positive attitude is luxury you afford piercing comfort. It fosters with practice. Positive attitude is a mind zone where: people's thinking of you doesn't matter to you.  you trust instincts more than your compulsive thoughts. you believe everything will be ok no matter how hard it is right now. good for you includes good for people. there is self respect, no ego. success is just moving. lesson is the name of a failure. you believe no feeling is permanent, neither success nor failure, neither happiness nor sadness. beginning means almost done. you embrace negativity and bliss out to positivity. mind welcomes fear and accepts shortfalls gracefully. you are perseverant until you reach your goal. The headspace where your flowing presence entices everyone in the room is a positive attitude. Top Quotes on Attitude that Inspire “If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett “Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.” ― Walt Whitman “I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right.” ― Muhammad Ali Jinnah “If you can quit, quit. If you can't quit, stop complaining - this is what you chose.” ― Joe Konrath “The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” — Oprah Winfrey “The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” — Louis E. Boone “An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.”  — Brian Tracy “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller 15 mindsets to develop a positive attitude Boils to Discipline when you Lack Motivation in Work Show up to work no matter how low you feel. Just showing up is half the job done. Begin your session with a 15 min exercise where you...

Supremely, you need to understand that both the feelings ‘lonely’ and ‘solitude’ are two sides of the same coin. Solitude is a positive feeling which is entirely your choice. It is the feeling of completeness one derives by loving and enjoying one’s own company.  On the contrary, the feeling of loneliness has a negative connotation where you are full of insecurities and find yourself deserted even in the crowd. When you feel lonely, you neither enjoy others’ company nor cherish your own company. The feeling of solitude is an unmatched magical feeling while there is nothing worse than the feeling of loneliness. In both the feelings, you feel no one around you but interestingly, you love solitude but you hate loneliness. Fight with loneliness: Do not fear the loneliness. Accept it and face it. Unless you realize that you are lonely, you cannot find the reasons for the same. The feeling of loneliness is independent of people and situations. Agreed, sour experiences with people or unfavorable situations might be reasons for loneliness, but it is your responsibility to bail yourself out from it. The positive side of loneliness: Yes, you read it right. Friends, it is when you are lonely, you can get hit by some strong in-depth realizations. To realize them, you need the courage to listen to your inner voice.  The realizations you explore during your loneliness are profound life lessons. It might be hard for you to accept but it is always better to know yourself by yourself than to get a pinch from the outside world.  Loneliness helps you connect to your inner world where you can explore your weaknesses. During this time, you also come across bitter realities about yourself and the outside world. These realizations give you strength to deal with it so that you convert your loneliness into solitude. Realizations: In this fast-moving world, not everyone gets the time to know oneself. If you are one of those lucky ones who gets time to get hit by in-depth self-realizations, be brave enough not to lose the opportunity. It is equally important to work on the areas of concern and move out of loneliness at the earliest. It is because loneliness can be dangerous. The longer the period of loneliness, the deeper you sink in the world of darkness. Act smart, act on it before it acts on you. Never try to run away from it because you can never escape from yourself. Take it head-on where you can explore the reasons for your self-hatred and convert it into self-love. Loneliness is a gateway to explore solitude. Unlock the gate. The key is with you, within you.

Is your mind crumbling under the pressure to deliver for your loved ones? Are you choking for breath under the fear of society and relationships judging your every move? Is your unworthy job or shaming unemployment raising serious allegations on your capabilities, and you cannot get over your self-judgments? Or maybe you have everything you desire, but there's still a void, an emptiness obscuring the clarity, and the gray follows where you have no answers to your monkey mind. If you are any of the many of us, exhale out your loneliness as it's not only your story.  And we don’t have to commit suicide to get ourselves heard. Yes I used the word Suicide because this is how far depressive thoughts take us sometimes, till the edge of an end.  I promise we shall overcome it together. How does depression feel like?  Although there are different types of depression, I'll try to express that generic feeling in depression I encounter in bouts at uncertain intervals. In my experience, depression feels like: someone is sitting inside my head constantly judging.  a burden to live for the people who are toying with my emotions to fulfill their undue expectations. a loser who never was, and will never be worthy enough. a rat who wants to hide in a hole where society can’t see. pain is endless suffering. Even if there is no reason to feel sad, I cannot find any reason to feel happy. The quandary elevates further where feelings enter the void and there are no expressions at all. That's when I’m convinced the life on the other side is better. Ouch! it hurts to accept this, but that’s how the face of depression looks like in the form of prolonged sorrow turning on the gloominess where joy seems beyond reach. Trails of recovery in broken pieces This is an interesting detail of what happened after an intense suicidal thought. In the silence of the dark, when I thought it's all over, there was a flash of nostalgic memories sending a cool breeze to the face of divine soul.  I felt absolute peace ever While eying death as close, my stress, fear, anxiety, sorrow, suffering, possessions, identifications, all suddenly dropped completely. It was the lightest I ever felt.  I don't know how, but a wave grew out of the blue that swept all the temporary dwellings, each false projection of mind. I sensed freedom, and that provoked a nothing-to-lose attitude that was ready to accept the now and welcome the new. Now I was not wandering unconsciously inside the illusionary boundaries of mind. There was a will to taste every challenge without a drop of complacency. I was singing on the rocks, dancing in the mountains, so to speak. I was feeling my soul beyond thoughts and emotions. It was an experience where I was celebrating my breaths like a comeback from something as devastating as a suicidal thought. I was feeling it, the inhales, and the exhales, sinking deeper with each conscious breath. Yes the power of now was magical as everything was flowing effortlessly then and there. Those moments transpired a recovery. Unlike before, I don't live in the smugness of realized...

This article is going to be an interesting one... To begin with, let me give you an insight into why is it essential to revive the feel... Feel is the essence of happiness. Feelings are the best judge to distinguish between the things you like and which you don’t. Even you must have experienced that time falls short while doing anything you enjoy. It is because of the involvement of feel in your work. On the contrary, the time slowly limps while doing anything you don't enjoy. Again, it is because the sincere feel to perform it is missing. Therefore, you must try to do things you feel to do. When you feel it, you will be able to love it. Subsequently, when you do things which you love, you will be able to enjoy it. When you enjoy it, you give it a chance to turn it into your passion. My dear friend, if you do anything passionately, it infuses a powerful self-belief you. Finally, things start happening in your favor. A  few heartfelt realizations... Your work must make you happy. Summon into minds that if your work is not making you happy, there is a lot to ponder upon. If your work is not energizing you, something is not right. Straight out, if your work is tiring you, IT IS NOT YOUR WORK. Be mindful of the fact that excellence in any field requires the feel to do and perform. Feel releases an active energy to perform a task dedicatedly. You can say that the feel associated with your works is the mantra of success. By now, I am sure you must be realized that why is it important to do whatever you feel. Better said than done, is it so easy? Is life so lenient on us?  Let's find out... The Reverse formula ... We can say that it is the ideal condition we were talking about. Everyone does not get the opportunity to pursue their passion and follow their dreams. Time and Situations are not always perfect where you do things according to your preferences and choices. Not even that, sometimes you are even forced to do things which you don’t feel to do. Factors like upbringing, surrounding social environment, situations of every individual are different and classified. Everyone does not get an opportunity to do whatever they feel. Some compromise for their loved ones and some compromise because they don't have any loved ones. And this is what life is all about...Adjustments. Many people have to adjust and adapt themselves as per time and situation. There are many individuals who have to comply with circumstances to earn bread without any other option available. No wonder, life is unpredictable with twists and turns. We don’t always get an opportunity to set the dancing tune for ourselves. Therefore, it is essential for us to take things positively with the right attitude. And this is when the reverse formula works... When you can't do whatever you feel, start feeling whatever you do... TIME FOR SOME HAPPY REALIZATIONS: Crying over your plight or surrendering to an unfavorable situation is...

Did you ever fall in love?  If you have, just keep reading and you will once again... but this time with none other than oneself. If not love, maybe you felt an infatuation towards somebody at some time.  A mere physical attraction! Not even that? Please close this screen and get your hormones checked first. Haha... I am sure you don’t belong here.   Love beyond judgmental mind   In today’s glamorama, our attention catches someone now and then. In fact, many love stories geminate on attraction. But that's just a seed.   When you truly love someone, the magical feeling is unmatched crossing all the barriers of judgment. You don’t play mind games when you are in love, know that person inside out. You accept them gracefully without any concern about their physical or mental appearance. Let us connect to some feelings when you are in love with somebody. 12 qualities when you are in love Balancing out others' weaknesses No one is perfect. Not only you appreciate their strengths but also try to cover up their weaknesses. Forgiveness Humans commit mistakes, and you accept that. You may fight with the person whom you love, land in arguments but eventually, you forgive him/her. Not holding back to apologize This is difficult otherwise but not in the case of love where there is no room for ego. It's because you value your relationship more than your ego. Expressing Love Now and then, you express your love to them in your peculiar way. You don’t hold back in making them feel special.   Make them realize when they are wrong Not only you admire their right, but also try to make them realize their egoistic behaviors in person, not openly   Respect Differences Everyone is an exclusive package. You might have nothing in common but maybe this is what you like about them. Never insult them When you love them, you never make fun of them, never embarrass them. You never hurt their sentiments intentionally. Respect and Trust Them You respect them more than you love them. You trust them more than anyone else. The reason is you know that respect and trust are strong foundations of a healthy love relationship.  Motivate and Encourage Not only you cherish their moments of success with them, but also try to motivate and cheer them up in their failures. No Comparison You don’t compare any attributes of your loved ones with others, be it good or bad. You love them the way they are and you never want to change their uniqueness. Always around in there tough times Life is all about peaks and valleys. And you never leave their hand in their darkest of phases. Flowing love Your love for that person never fades with passing time and it is not situational. It blossoms and matures beautifully. I am sure you could relate to many of these feelings if you have ever been in love. But let me raise a question on your behalf. Aren’t we talking about the fortunate ideal relationships?   Heartfelt curiosities Dear friend, even if your infatuation transpired into love, does it guarantee the same reciprocation from the one you love? What about those one-sided love and those broken trusts? You cannot ignore those. In fact needs more attention as the way people get affected.   You see, the qualities which we...

1st Dec 2016- the date when God sent a beautiful angel into my life. Every action, each emotion of that day is still crystal clear in my mind. A night before, my wife, Gurdeep did not feel convincing movements inside the womb. Though it was not something unusual, but as her pregnancy had crossed a little over thirty-six weeks, we rushed to the doctor the very morning.  The doctor advised an ultrasound, and the report revealed that the umbilical cord had got entangled around the baby’s neck. There was nothing to worry about, but it was an obvious cesarean case now.  The doctor left up to us to decide the day of operation- today or tomorrow. While Gurdeep wanted to postpone it to tomorrow, I could not wait for an hour, a minute, not even a second. There were a couple of reasons I was pushing for today: I could not handle the swing of emotions- from one point towards dilemmas and apprehensions to another point towards excitement and joy. 2. I had a special inclination towards the date, as I was also born on the 1st, it doesn’t matter a different month. Yes, that’s how deep I was feeling every emotion. So somehow, I convinced her, and finally, we decided the D-day to be today. Time was crawling like a snail that day, and after testing every drop of patience, eventually the anticipated moment arrived when she was taken inside the OT. I was allowed in there, my heart pumping faster than ever. But I knew I had to remain calm to embrace her, shower warmth, divert her mind, deceive her with no glimpse of fear, no sign of nervousness. While I was busy engaging her in conversations, never did I realize when that moment came….and… wow… what… Goosebumps… I just saw the doctor pulling out my child. And it looked like a horrific miracle. Time literally paused, I went numb, gradually making way for the tears of happiness rolling out of my eyes. The only time I was delighted to see my daughter cry was the first time she did.  Nirvana is about 3 years old now, and with each passing day, I love her more. But apart from my growing love, I recently developed a huge respect for her.  Never did I thought a 3-year-old-daughter could teach such profound lessons to a 30-year-old-father. Lesson no 1- Express out whatever you feel—positivity and negativity Nirvana never holds back to express whatever she feels, and this makes her a beautiful soul. Her emotions inside, and its expressions outside, are faithful to each other. When she is happy-she laughs, hugs, kisses, changing the family atmosphere from whatever to happiness. But more than that, what I like about her is she never holds back in venting out every negative emotion. She cries, yells at the top of her voice when she dislikes anything. Till recently, I used to get very agitated, called it her unruly behavior.  But one late night, while I was sitting alone, reviving memories from an observer’s eyes, Nirvana looked a beautiful person-...

Contentment is the realization of a beautiful soul. It is a feeling which resides within every individual, but only a few are able to explore it. It's completely different from materialistic happiness dependent on the outside world. Counting your blessings is the best way to reach there! A hungry person when smells the aroma of food, it is contentment. A mother while feeding her child sees a smile on his/her face, it is contentment. Father, when he sees his daughter in her wedding dress, is contentment. Contentment is not a thought. It's an unmatched feeling that awakens the lively buds of your soul. You cannot buy contentment; you earn it! When you see a flower, it's beauty and scent fills your heart with positivity. At times, you want to become that flower by aromatizing the life of others and spreading happiness. When one small act of yours brings a smile to someone’s face or a tear of joy in those eyes, that compassion within you is nothing but contentment. Even in your work sphere, the feeling derived from doing work that makes you happy is contentment. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you fail. When you succeed, you feel a sense of joy, it is contentment. Even when you fail, a proud feeling must arise that you fulfilled the demand of that particular situation by giving your best. That feeling is nothing but contentment. However, you have to make sure that blissfulness derived out of contentment should never lead to complacency. It must always make you stress-free rather than making you carefree. It must push you further than to pull you back. Remember, standing water gets dirty quickly. So, never stop and keep flowing.             

Do you lose your temper when someone cuts you in traffic? Or you feel guilty of exploding on anyone you can exercise your dominance, especially children, which you afterward regret? If something sounds relevant, you need to control your anger. Mismanaged anger can destroy personal, professional, and social relationships. It disturbs the peace inside.   Sometimes it’s hard to overturn consequences of fuming anger, especially broken trust and respect in a relationship. Why do you feel angry? Is anger bad? You feel angry when people don’t act and situations don’t happen, according to you. Stubborn thoughts conquer the mind under the rule of ego. All look perfect until the outside world happens according to your desire.   When people agree to you, you feel proud, unconsciously tuning to a self-boasting state. But then comes people’s perspective, their choice differs yours, and suddenly you dislike everyone and everything. You feel hurt, and your dwindled ego cries. It gets cranky, loaded with stress, and starts yelling on people, even on oneself (those brutal self-judgments). But that’s the downside of uncontrolled anger.  Though anger is a negative emotion, it’s not a useless emotion. It powers you with courage to raise a voice for a cause or second a perspective.  Anger is the driver of negative motivation, encouraging you to stand up against bullies and unethical behaviors.  So anger is a powerful emotion, not bad.  We just don’t know to manage anger. 16 magical anger management techniques  Know your triggers Anger is a little mud over the hard surface of other negative emotions. Tap on to your anger and embrace it, till you explore the underlying emotions triggering it. Jealousy or an Unfulfilled expectation... what’s your trigger? Express in person when you turn calmer Never hold a grudge. Talk to them and clear misunderstandings when temperature stabilizes. Holding it for long converts the loop of thoughts to negative emotions, which mires the raw and true feelings. Initiate your expression with ‘I’ statement having less or no ‘You’ Try improving the quality of your argument.  Say something like I feel bad as I’m already hurt or I can’t take this as I’m already feeling low. Then to say: How can you say this? It’s your fault. What’s wrong with you? Don’t stop yourself from being sensitive I am overly sensitive towards emotions.  What I found that’s one trait of my attitude. I need not change it, instead, stop judging myself for that. The less I self-judge, the less the anger, the more self-love floats, and the more I spread love. Stop focussing on personality when you are alone You lose on life experiences if you spend Me-time adjusting your personality.  You become more and more rigid. That rigidity fuels the anger most of the time. Let the people define your personality, stop self-labeling your identity, it’s not your job. Enhance quality of lifestyle What nutrition you intake, your discipline at work, and how much you rest, these mostly define your lifestyle. And a healthy lifestyle is a vital element of conscious living, so work on it. It’s a must for sanity where you are not fuming over little things. Affirmation of positive thoughts It’s a practice, 10-min everyday session.  Positive self talks soaked in love during this. Gratitude and Forgiveness the sole agendas here. Raise curiosity to...

According to Collins dictionary, Nature is all the animals, plants, and other things in the world that are not made by people, and all the events and processes that are not caused by people. (I'll be denoting Nature by They, Them, Their... Just cannot confine nature into a box of It.) Let’s meet Nature Nature is super-expressive! Since ages, they are trying hard to express: Pain during ruthless slaughtering, Misery in feeding pollutants, Suffering after a sudden human attack, Yes that’s what nature had to share. Because that’s what we... the most intelligent creatures on this planet... had been offering to them... in our own filthy ways. Cruel We ... who didn’t bother listening to nature shouts in pain inflicted by us. We could not sense those tears; We had no feelings for them in our consciousness. We murdered them for our luxuries; burnt them for money. We went unconscious of their existence, unaware that our existence is superficial without the creator — Nature! You might wonder: Why am I told this? Why am I forced to realize all of it? Well the whole purpose of saying this is: If that’s the ugly past you want to forget, guess what... you got this opportunity! It’s time you can break that equation, and start afresh chemistry with nature. Because nature just forgot ages of brutality by us during this pandemic. Nature revived without long-due revenge! Nature resurrected! Nature is back to the old school smiles! So time to get back to the present and embrace this undeserved opportunity. It’s important we connect with nature now... when they are all smiles! Never was a better time we could feel free from this guilt... the guilt of causing so much harm to them. It’s time we feel happy with them, for them! Just to remind you, nature was never helpless. If they would take long-due revenge, the entire human race could be sacrificed. That’s how much damage we did to them. But guess what... nothing as such happened... And nature we never met... sounds familiar! Call it luck, fate, destiny, anything, but make sure you accept this as a blessing! That human lockdown led to nature's independence! Indirectly adding more generations to the human race. All mediums of pollution are at rest. And the: fresh air, clear skies, whirling trees, gushing winds, chirping birds, they are all back. It’s a huge offering from nature who was hit brutally hard by us. So come on mate… We always complained about limited time. We were unconscious of their cries then. But about now...during this lockdown... Let us not miss this... to listen to nature expressing joy! Well if you are wondering... How do I interact with nature? Let me remind you there’s an unconscious breath transaction always on between you are the greens outside. Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... lifetime transaction... till your last breath! And now let me ask you: The fact that life is lifeless without breath, and breath connects humans to nature, Is this not enough to create an involvement? I feel... Acknowledging this simple fact has enough reasons to develop a beautiful bond with the creator — Nature! If you could feel this mind shift, you could experience life over mental and emotional barriers. Your ego goes for a toss, as you...

The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health? Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires? Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering? Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before? Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics? If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas. High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts. Let’s understand what’s cooking A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering. Like too much to take! And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition. The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted! Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now. To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period! What all of it is resulting to? Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity. I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine. And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark. I walked out in a better headspace! A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind. I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful. 4 Mindshifts for a better headspace A mere acceptance of your pain Human race is mourning to bereavement, Eyes around reflect deep down fears, Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death, Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never, Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,  Like everything brought to a standstill! Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world. You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out. The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety. But my dear friend... you need to realize: Not only you, your family, your city, or your country... It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now. So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal! Yes you need to accept this right now... Better said... you might wonder: How should I gracefully accept this change? Just acknowledge you are not battling alone. It's not only about you this time... we are in this together! This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain. It brings the acceptance you need! Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering. Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive! You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living. You got to feel grateful for this! You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness. If I ask you:  Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point? I think many of us would admit: Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did! If...