appearance - search results

What does the word 'Appearance' mean? The word Appearance is not that easy to comprehend than it seems. The meaning of 'Appearance' according to of the most of us is sheer 'Physical appearance.' However, if we see only the physical aspect of this word, it's meaning becomes quite elusive and deceptive. It is a lot more extensive than mere physical appearance.  So my dear friend, get ready to meet the other side of your Appearance... Apart from physical appearance, there is another face of the word Appearance, which makes its connotation complete. And that aspect is the 'Mental Appearance.' The mental appearance... sounds strange surely. But let your curiosity levels increase because this is going to be interesting. We shall gradually sort out the mysteries of our Mental Appearance. To continue, we can say that the word ‘Appearance’ has two aspects. One is physical appearance, and the other is the mental appearance. Both the elements combined make the meaning of the word ‘Appearance’ complete. Now, let us try to understand the meaning of both the aspects intensely... Physical appearance? We all are aware of the physical appearance aspect. It constitutes our apparent looks...eyes, ears, nose, skin...the attributes which are physically seen and felt. It is the visible face, the tangible face of our appearance. This is the definition of appearance which most of us have in our minds. But not only that, Physical Appearance also constitutes your presentation to the outside world, how you project yourself to others.  And now, the time has come to unveil the other side of our Appearance...The Mental Appearance. Mental appearance? First of all, when we are calling it the mental appearance, it means it involves our mind. And it is the reason why it's complicated. We all are aware of the fact that it is tough to perceive what exactly is going inside a person’s mind. Our actions are not always the stimuli of what is going inside our unfathomable thoughts. Our mental appearance is a mirror to the things revolving inside a person's mind.  Since others cannot see the mental aspect, it is the intangible face of our appearance. Little clear little unclear but I hope you are getting closer to say hello to your mental appearance...Let us move further without wasting any time. How are both the aspects of our Appearance connected? The ideal condition states that both physical and the mental appearance must be faithful to each other. What I mean is what you showcase to the outside world(Physical appearance) must be exactly the same going inside your mind(Mental appearance). It is the transparency between the two which authenticates our identity and makes us true individuals. But is it happening? No, it's not. In this pretentious world, most of us are not able to maintain a healthy relationship between the two aspects. Both the aspects of our appearance do not complement each other. Always remember, only our physical appearance is not a true depiction of what we are.  Why is it important to have a transparency between both the aspects of our Appearance? Let us try to understand it with a simple process... Our mind...

The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health? Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires? Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering? Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before? Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics? If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas. High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts. Let’s understand what’s cooking A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering. Like too much to take! And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition. The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted! Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now. To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period! What all of it is resulting to? Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity. I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine. And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark. I walked out in a better headspace! A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind. I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful. 4 Mindshifts for a better headspace A mere acceptance of your pain Human race is mourning to bereavement, Eyes around reflect deep down fears, Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death, Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never, Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,  Like everything brought to a standstill! Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world. You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out. The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety. But my dear friend... you need to realize: Not only you, your family, your city, or your country... It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now. So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal! Yes you need to accept this right now... Better said... you might wonder: How should I gracefully accept this change? Just acknowledge you are not battling alone. It's not only about you this time... we are in this together! This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain. It brings the acceptance you need! Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering. Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive! You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living. You got to feel grateful for this! You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness. If I ask you:  Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point? I think many of us would admit: Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did! If...

We are hooked to a mirror since our diaper days. We love it... right? In fact, a mirror at home is a necessity. Why shouldn’t it be? It is the mirror which makes us conscious of our appearance. I have been stating the obvious but these statements have many untold stories to tell. To begin with, let me introspect you with a few questions... Spare a minute to ask yourself... Is your mirror reflecting your real appearance? Do you really know who you are? Are you proud of your appearance? If any of these questions are triggering your self-analysis mode... congratulations!!!! You passed the self-introspection test. If not, face your mirror at home and ask yourself these questions again. A realization shall pinch you where you'll get to know 'the mirror at your home is lying' and your appearance is deceptive. Yes, not only the outer appearance but also we have an inner appearance which is the intangible face of the appearance. And both the appearances together define our real appearance. The inner appearance... thought-provoking... isn’t it? As they say... “beauty lies within”, the inner appearance is the real beauty of an individual irrespective of their outer appearance. But shockingly, the definition of the word “appearance” to most of us is mere physical looks. Majority of us are not one-to-one with our originality-our inner appearance. And this leads straight to one intriguing question... When the mirror at home reveals the outer appearance, is there a mirror which reveals our inner appearance? Yes, everyone has it... few people use it! Allow me to unveil the mirror reflecting our inner appearance... Much like a mirror at home which reflects our outer-appearance, Self-awareness is a mirror which reflects our inner-appearance. According to Wikipedia “Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals.” It is the mirror which is the real depictor of our appearance. Shockingly, most of us look different in the mirror of self-awareness and the mirror at home. While the mirror at home showcases a new identity daily, the mirror of self-awareness always has a true story to tell. Differences between the two mirrors... Unlike the mirror at home, the mirror of self-awareness does not have a physical existence. It is inbuilt inside everyone. The mirror at home makes us presentable to the outside world while the mirror of self-awareness makes us presentable to ourselves. While the mirror at home reflects our body, the mirror of self-awareness reflects our soul. We might deceive the mirror at home wearing a sheet of lie driven by the manipulative mind. We cannot deceive the mirror of self-awareness driven by the pure soul... no lies, no imitation, no look-alike. Thought provoking... A t-shirt and shorts, messy hair, no lenses or shades, no jewelry, no-belly tuckers, no high-heels... this is the how we are at home, our originality, right? But when we move out, every outing has a new look... different clothes, hair-styles, make-up... all to look beautiful. But does that make you beautiful?  Do you realize you are only changing your looks for the outer world? You don’t realize this way, you’re not beautifying...

My mind runs here, there, everywhere trying to win the race against time.It retreats to the past, leaps into the future, only to lose in the present. My present moment is rolling but my mind is ahead or behind it.The poor mind is losing in both cases and you know who’s winning? Time! The unsung battle  Never could I realize my unconscious mind started competing with the invincible Time.  Time proposes friendship, offers to unite, invites the mind to end animosity.  But the audacious mind soaked in ego wishes to rule over the boundless. Unlike mind, Time never calls it a fight, flowing at a divine pace, faithful to everyone.But that transparency deceives my mind. No wonder, my mind one powerful unit. It flaunts, but in self-admiration, forgets everyone and everything is a slave to Time. Interestingly, both have their best friend... I’m sure you want to meet them. Meet my mind's bestie Intoxication, my mind’s best friend. It possesses every quality.It makes my mind dance in good times, a pain-reliever in bad.  But my exuberant mind cannot identify Intoxication’s cruel intentions. Besides having monetary demands, Intoxication seizes independence. It takes my mind for a drive to future, reverses gear, accelerates to the past. And when the psychological drama is over, throws it to the unpleasant reality soon. Illusionary happiness convinces the unconscious mind to depend on Intoxication mesmerizing by its bittersweetness. Time watches everything silently and loves the juvenile games! My mind doesn’t realize flowing with Time creates an awareness that solves most of the riddles.          Mind (riding on ego) wins moments when it has materialistic possessions including power, but Time is smiling on the Death corner to ruin the party.Time never reacts on course, it's best friend does the talking!  Unveiling Time's best friend None other than Karma.Brutally honest, one powerful unit.Time prefers silence, but Karma is violent. They share beautiful chemistry.Questions on time, Karma takes the responsibility of answers.Time defines the best part... the answers of Karma. The style of Karma’s answering is different, more of a beating. Poor mind, unable to face the wrath not only lost but also accepted. Yes... my mind realized it was fighting a lost battle. Finally, it pleaded to Time ... I lost to you, proud; Karma taught me loud.Creepy thoughts are dominant, laugh when Ego I say I’m confident.I want to age with you; I want to walk with you.Help or it’s my end, please help my friend. It was difficult to convince Time who thought it could be a mind’s ploy. But Time filled with self-respect accepted it with open arms.  It responded ... In the quest of running, you forgot how to walk.I’m winning, either win with me or lose against me. I’m flowing, either flow with me or drown. And then evolved a conscious realization ... Happiness is nowhere but in the awareness of the present moment. My mind made a new friend ... my body, which accompanies it everywhere, unlike earlier. Now, my mental body and physical body walk together along with time. Do you know how are they connected? Through the awareness of my breaths! Final Words Negativity spares none.I face moments when the outer world is all over me....

Yes, it is your judgmental eyes which inflicts unbearable pain, which makes me suffer like a loser. It's because you judge me by my smile without realizing the burden of tears I am carrying. Your eyes can only see my physical wounds, but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I wish you could hear the cries of mental wounds...  You know my problem?  I have not attained that level where I stop getting affected by judgments and opinions about me. Yes, assuredly, I shall reach there one day but for God's sake, please stop until then. I know that I don't have a strong dwelling of my aura where I can reside, but why aren't you allowing me to create a foundation of my aura? Why are you enforcing your aura on me? I'm not asking you to stop judging me, I know you don't have this ability. What I'm requesting you is to judge me only after stepping into my shoes.  Wow..what an irony...instead of pushing me back to life, you are pushing me to death. And the father of all ironies is that you still claim that you care about me. I won't surrender to the situation and commit suicide, but do you just feel that you are responsible for instigating suicidal thoughts inside me. Please try to understand that I am already fighting an intense battle with my capabilities, I am already bleeding so why do you want to bleed me to death? I'm already burning so please stop adding fuel to that fire!!! Don't you dare to perceive it as your dominance over me. I'm getting affected by you because of reasons I'm not sure you would want to hear. But if you are courageous enough, let me clear out the reasons behind my sufferings... I'm tolerating this suffocation because you matter to me...your opinions, your comments, your observations, your judgments regarding me matters to me, it all matters to me. I cannot turn my back on you, I cannot run away from you, I cannot part my ways with you. It is because I care for you, I'm attached to you, and so I don't want to hurt you. But you are not stopping!!! Your judgmental eyes and judgmental lies   are choking my breath. And if this is what you have to offer, I'm sorry but you are forcing me to become you. And my dear, if I become like you, not sure whether you would be able to withstand my honesty. Beware...it is my respect for you talking thus far!!! But if you are not stopping here, then I don't find any option than to be brutal!!! And if you really want to know the reason behind the discrepancy between my physical and mental appearance, be patient...I would uncover my feelings as slowly as I could so that you taste every bit of what I'm going through. Instead of asking me what is wrong, you always call me wrong. Please stop stating the obvious because I was not the same some time back. But did you bother to know the reason?  And when you are judging me through...

Life is not a race and hence not a competition you can define by winning or losing. It’s an exploration journey, it’s your exploration journey where you are the lone traveller. And because you are alone in your journey, there is no one with whom you can compete and compare with, except one person... yourself.  Someone has rightly said: “If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter, But if You continuously compete with yourself, you become better.”  But are you realizing it? The biggest hindrances restricting self-development today are nothing but comparison and competition with others, without realizing that it is impossible. This is where the problem lies where life-journey becomes a never-ending struggle!!! Be it... a science-subject -scorecard or a cricket-run-scorecard... a debate or an entrance exam... for a government job or a private job... for money or for a position... the physical looks or mental looks... You are competing, not with oneself but with others. Even in the personal sphere... be it the parents, or be it the children... be it the siblings, be it the friends... everyone is competing with each other. It is a sad state but yes, it is happening. And this is what you need to get rid off... But before we move on to the solutions, do you know there are two journeys you are traveling? Yes...you read it right! Your journey is not confined to your out-world travel, but also your in-world travel. Out-world and In-world travel... sounds strange, huh?  So allow me to talk about both the journeys for a better understanding: When we talk about the out-world journey, it begins as soon as you step out of your home. You go to different places, be it your workplace or a hangout place, you are always traveling on your out-world journey. Even the distance you travel to reach these destinations are a part of this journey. During this journey, one thing for sure is that you see new faces and meet new people in your personal and professional spheres. And as soon as you meet them, the first thing your mind does is that it judges them. Those judgments are sometimes out of insecurities, sometimes out of dominance; sometimes out of inferiorities, sometimes out of superiorities; sometimes based on physical appearance and sometimes based on mental appearance. These judgments initiate comparisons where you compare yourself to others. And this comparison gives way to competitions with them. I am sorry but this is happening to most of us. But let me tell that if you are competing with others in your out-world journey, it means you are not traveling well in your in-world journey. My dear friend, it’s time to unveil your in-world journey ...the journey that sets the foundation of your out-world journey, the journey which you don’t travel well. Your in-world journey is nothing but your journey within yourself. It is your self-exploration journey in which you get to know yourself bigger and better. This journey is a gateway to self-realization and self-actualization.  Your in-world journey enables you to explore your positives-negatives, strengths-weakness, comfort-fear, and many other inner-self attributes. You need to travel well in this journey to...

I am dying at 35 but this is not what is hurting me. What’s painful is that when I look back, I don’t recall 35 memories to cherish!!! The journey has not been worth remembering. I am not saying I was sad throughout my life, but yes, I always struggled to feel happy. Never had I felt what I realize now, which is the difference between real happiness and materialistic happiness.  And the irony is when I have realized it, I cannot be happy. I am dying and practically, I cannot choose happiness. I can only miss happiness. But at least you can... choose it now. You might be curious to know what happened suddenly that my life turned upside down? I am literally into tears to pen it down but I will, just to make you realize that today is my turn, likewise, it can be yours tomorrow. And I don’t want you to die like me, just like that. Well... nothing much to tell because it was all good a week back. Just a slight pain in my stomach which led to a couple to tests. Huh... to find what? The final stage of liver cancer with a piece of news... the news that I have a few months, weeks or maybe days left. Hard to live with the fact that I am dying anytime soon. But wait a minute, is this something new I got to know? Is it really news that I might die soon? Was I not aware of it or rather are ‘we’ not aware that we‘ll die one day? I am sure even you know about this inevitable truth but there is a difference between you knowing and me knowing it... The difference is that I can feel it now but I’m not sure you can!!! Sorry to say this but maybe you die before me, trust me it is possible. I may sound weird so let me back it with a testimony. About a month back, I heard the shocking news that a 40-year-old man from my vicinity has been diagnosed with a final stage brain tumor and he does not have much time left. I know him personally and this news left me shattered. I remember I was saying to my wife that 40 is not an age to die. How could be God so cruel? Ha... never dared to imagine that I am dying before him in my thirties. Now I am sure you got a pinch of my taste! This is how unpredictable life is. I close my eyes at night more in fear whether they would open to see a morning... sometimes I wonder what is a bigger challenge? To die gracefully or to live gracefully? Because suddenly I see my definition of challenges transforming.   I could sense the definition of my success changing, which was once to earn bread, and what is now to earn breaths. I could feel a change in my attitude from ‘let it come’ some time back to ‘let it go’ today. I could sense the perception of my future...

Yes, I am turning 30 in a week. Don’t know how to perceive it. Unable to understand whether to feel happy or to feel sad... Don’t know whether it is encouraging or disheartening? Don’t know whether to celebrate or to cry? Just not able to sink in the feeling of entering the “club 30”. It’s because most teenagers want to be called as adults, not children. For that, they eagerly wait to leave the teenage and enter the world of the twenties. Surprisingly, the ones in their thirties also want to relive their twenties. So you see... the period of the twenties is one golden and an adventurous phase sought not only by the teenagers but also by the ones in their thirties. And the same is happening to me. Leaving my twenties is quite a heavy feeling. This new beginning marks the end of a tipsy-topsy yet worth-remembering decade.  Most of us fear the new and I am no different. I am apprehensive about it!!! But what is the reason behind it, I’m not able to figure out. Is that the beautiful memories of my twenties or the feel of worthlessness reaching the thirties? I have money, I have a beautiful family, I am working fine, both my physical and the mental appearance is fine, I have everything a person can ask for, but I am just not up for it. Don’t know what is wrong with me? What am I fearing, what do I want, why am I apprehensive...Why am I not able to take pride in turning 30? What is bothering me?  Locks without keys... questions without answers. Is it the professional lag I wish to destroy or is the entertainment I shall miss on turning 30? Well, I guess it is a mixture of both. But the ironical part is that in both the conditions, I don’t want to leave this phase. I have confessions to make both personally and professionally. Let’s find out the particular reasons behind my uncertainties... If you ask about my professional sphere... Maybe, the reason I am reluctant to reach the 30 is I could have done better with the phase of the twenties. And I still have a lot to achieve before I reach this stage. I feel I lag in achieving my goals. Sometimes, I even feel like a loser. When I look back, I don’t recall a beautiful past. Life has not been a fairy tale for me even after having everything a man needs to be happy. If I die a natural death which I suppose is 60, half of my life is over. But I still don’t know where my life is leading to. Read in a study somewhere that people get prone to a heart attack after they reach 30.  Now see, even studies indicate that my end is near. Hahaha… seriously these things have tickled my mind. You know why? Because if I die today, what will the people remember me for? Have I done anything worth remembering? Wow… some serious questions, huh?  If you ask about my personal sphere... I cannot look at the beautiful girls, don’t...

Did you ever fall in love?  If you have, just keep reading and you will once again... but this time with none other than oneself. If not love, maybe you felt an infatuation towards somebody at some time.  A mere physical attraction! Not even that? Please close this screen and get your hormones checked first. Haha... I am sure you don’t belong here.   Love beyond judgmental mind   In today’s glamorama, our attention catches someone now and then. In fact, many love stories geminate on attraction. But that's just a seed.   When you truly love someone, the magical feeling is unmatched crossing all the barriers of judgment. You don’t play mind games when you are in love, know that person inside out. You accept them gracefully without any concern about their physical or mental appearance. Let us connect to some feelings when you are in love with somebody. 12 qualities when you are in love Balancing out others' weaknesses No one is perfect. Not only you appreciate their strengths but also try to cover up their weaknesses. Forgiveness Humans commit mistakes, and you accept that. You may fight with the person whom you love, land in arguments but eventually, you forgive him/her. Not holding back to apologize This is difficult otherwise but not in the case of love where there is no room for ego. It's because you value your relationship more than your ego. Expressing Love Now and then, you express your love to them in your peculiar way. You don’t hold back in making them feel special.   Make them realize when they are wrong Not only you admire their right, but also try to make them realize their egoistic behaviors in person, not openly   Respect Differences Everyone is an exclusive package. You might have nothing in common but maybe this is what you like about them. Never insult them When you love them, you never make fun of them, never embarrass them. You never hurt their sentiments intentionally. Respect and Trust Them You respect them more than you love them. You trust them more than anyone else. The reason is you know that respect and trust are strong foundations of a healthy love relationship.  Motivate and Encourage Not only you cherish their moments of success with them, but also try to motivate and cheer them up in their failures. No Comparison You don’t compare any attributes of your loved ones with others, be it good or bad. You love them the way they are and you never want to change their uniqueness. Always around in there tough times Life is all about peaks and valleys. And you never leave their hand in their darkest of phases. Flowing love Your love for that person never fades with passing time and it is not situational. It blossoms and matures beautifully. I am sure you could relate to many of these feelings if you have ever been in love. But let me raise a question on your behalf. Aren’t we talking about the fortunate ideal relationships?   Heartfelt curiosities Dear friend, even if your infatuation transpired into love, does it guarantee the same reciprocation from the one you love? What about those one-sided love and those broken trusts? You cannot ignore those. In fact needs more attention as the way people get affected.   You see, the qualities which we...

We might be one of those who confuse between Self respect the virtue and Ego the vice.The reason is simple:Both infuse a sense of pride. What I feel is ego and self respect are the two extremes of a single line. Unlocking the mystery is vital. Before moving to the differences, let us address the two — Ego and Self Respect. Definitions of Ego and Self Respect Ego is negative. It is an emerging belief arising from deliberate comparison of oneself with others.We compare ourselves with both the higher and lower people we consider in terms of money, power, authority, appearance, anything. Either we feel superior or we get hurt. Self respect is positive. There is a deeper consciousness where we commit only to actions that don't cause shame while doing it or afterward. A heightened state when there's self-acceptance regardless of possessions and identities.  I love this citation: “There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.” —John C. Maxwell It wonderfully defines the two often confused Ego and Self Respect.Let us jump right into the differences: 15 differences between Ego and Self respect Ego- We bow down to the ones we consider superior to us, and bully/ignore the ones inferior in our adulterated minds.Self Respect- There's a positive attitude where we love everyone including ourselves.Ego- Me only me... there's only self-interest even at the cost of hurting others. What's worse, we are unconscious of it most times.Self Respect- We, we, or after you... We take care of everyone's sentiments, never hurting anyone intentionally. Same time making sure our voice is heard.Ego- We are in constant comparison and competition with others. We desire to beat them anyhow.Self Respect- We don't compare ourselves to others. We aspire to touch our deeper selves.Ego- We deliberately choose the wrong means, opt for shortcuts, be manipulative just to satisfy our ego.Self Respect- Our respect for ourselves is supreme which refrains from committing to the wrong. It encourages to choose difficult paths, the tough responses.Ego- We fear the outside world — people and situations. The reason is simple: Self-conceit is hollow, so we fear any change from the monotony could expose our nudity as naked.Self Respect- We fear no one as there's nothing to hide. We welcome the new through a positive attitude and self-belief. Ego- It dwells on materialistic achievements and alluring drives. We buy an expensive mobile or a new car, it fuels our ego. We feel superior to others. But when we lose money or power, our ego is shattered. There's always dependency for happiness.Self Respect- It is an inner virtue not fuelled by materialism. It is a guiding light from our deeper self independent of the outside world.Ego- It fulfills with negative emotions deriving out of self-pride. These negative emotions are hatred, jealousy, anger, greed, impatience, and the like. We don't hesitate to harm and misuse others.Self Respect - When we ride high on self-respect, we love ourselves and respect...