Tag: PEOPLE

I wish you undress. Watching you nude would be a wonderful treat. Now before you judge, it’s your mental body I’m talking about! Sounds silly? it’s not: Unwrapping your mental body is as vital as wrapping your physical body. Let's unwrap!   Differences between Nude and Naked  I’m sure your mental body doesn’t wear clothes. It's lying nude but people cannot see you for a simple reason:You don't express your vulnerable originality. (It can be need of your hour), but at least accept your nudity than to live in fear of exposed naked.  I feel: When you unveil your orginality by yourself, you are nude.  When others expose it, you are naked. Seems nuance, but there is a huge difference between the two.   John Berger says:   Nakedness reveals itself. Nudity is placed on display. The nude is condemned to never being naked. Nudity is a form of dress.   The journey to nudity is a painful transformation where you learn the subtle art of giving a damn about people.   Still Confused?   There’s one beautiful citation by MENTAL FLOSS illustrating the difference between naked and nude:   “If you doff your duds to pose while descending a staircase for a tasteful painting done by a respected artist, then you’re nude. If a bunch of paparazzi suddenly burst in through the studio door and take your picture without permission, you are suddenly naked.”   Nude is better than Naked You age, you mature, you ripe while growing in age. Your personality flows with time! Your ‘then and now’ might have a discrepancy.  And now: You want to adapt for own good; Wish to age like a fine wine.  You strive to flow with time; Want to experience your journey consciously. Like to become more and more you!   What's holding you to unleash? People already have an opinion about you. They recognize you a particular way.  And you want to break that monotony! You know you have changed; you want others to accept it. But the grey:  You are afraid of how people will perceive your transformation!!   As bitter as it gets People cannot take it if you grow more than them. They are jealous of your self-awareness.   They crib over your maturity. Your clarity offends them.   People piss off when you attend them less.   No denial, even you have been guilty. But it’s human to commit mistakes; right? This is how we learn. You are probably wondering:Is showcasing nudity that easy? No, it’s not! People restrict you. They try every way to intercept your transformation. Cry, yell, request, they do it all!   But before you quit Showcase one performance where you go all in to become nude. Yes, gather courage to express yourself only once.   Reach out to them and let your soul scream — This is my originality; Accept or Leave!   Trust me, you’ll never have to cover your face with an illusory mask of fear again.   One firm step towards finding yourself is worth giving a shot. One bold attempt to get nude is always better than getting your exposed by people.   Wondering why nudity is paramount? To breathe freely!   Because today or tomorrow they find the real you hiding. You cannot run away from yourself for long.   A few sympathize, most of them call you a liar.   The unbearable suffering is hard to deal with. Your self-esteem reaches...

If there were no cameras, every soul would tell an interesting story. Wondering which cameras? The people’s eyes which blink to capture your sadness. Yes, these cameras want a shot of your disappointment because you failed to fulfill their undue expectations. What worse... you are giving them a perfect picture! Let’s find out what’s happening... You take care of our personal and professional environment, what you don’t introspect is your social environment, the major cause of a person’s downfall. Social media has a testimony, I need not explain how it swallows your solitude time. Even I had a fear of people’s judgments. But when I found most of us have the same problem, I thought of digging deep into it. My observation... People are judging you every time and place. Many times, those judgments are wrong and sometimes, salt over the wound. Surprisingly, it doesn't matter whether right or wrong, people's judgments about you are not the problems.  The biggest problem is the way you allow these judgments affect you. The intensity level raises to an extent where even when there is no one around, you still don’t remember your real self.  You stop defining yourself anymore. Your self-awareness is under the illusion of people’s judgments.You become a television whose remote control is with people. To tell the bitter truth, You think for people, feel for people, do for people... you start living for people. What you don’t realize... In the process of taking care of people, you don’t think about yourself. In the process of pleasing people, you are unpleasing yourself. Yes, your social environment is polluting your personal and professional environment. Want to know why it happens? You are aware of people but not self-aware. In the process, what's going around you is bothering you, not what's happening inside you. Imperative to find a solution... To your surprise, I don’t have a solution to your problems! Like always, you have the best solution. But to figure it out, the first thing I suggest is to shift your consciousness from people to oneself. Only then, you could trigger your self-analysis mode to find out why the outer world is over-powering your inner world. What I found out: The fear of people’s judgment is because of insecurities. What you have to find out: Why your insecurities are so loud that your integrity is suffering? Is it a competition or just a comparison? Are you insecure about your physical body or your mental efficiency? Are you fearing people’s judgment or only a person’s judgment? Which environment is getting polluted- personal, professional, both?  Might be any other insecurity, you know more than anybody what exactly causes you fear of people’s judgments. You need to find out that bomb and diffuse it. You'll find different kinds of people everywhere. When you meet them, they observe you. And when you meet them often, they form an opinion about you. And that's completely fine. They'll perceive you as per their understanding. You can't control their mind! But what you can assure is the exhibition of your real self- what you are and how you feel. Big applause to the author who quotes... “People will judge you anyway, make sure you...

Let us take a dig at every element of feeling embarrassed one by one... What is Embarrassment? Embarrassment is the feeling of awkwardness felt publicly or socially. This awkwardness is because of a sudden awakening of self-consciousness when you get the unwanted attention from people. Yes, the element 'people' is an obvious element attached to feeling embarrassed. It is not realized by oneself unless others make you realize the awkwardness. Feeling embarrassed is completely different from feeling ashamed which is a self-realization. Feeling embarrassed is a public bearing while feeling ashamed is a private bearing. Your embarrassment is a fun or a victory moment for others, not for you. Please do one thing... Trigger your thinking mode and try to recall an instance when you got embarrassed. Ask yourself whether you would have felt the same if it would have happened when you were alone? Hmmm...now you are getting closer to unlock the mysteries of feeling embarrassed.  Let us assume an instance: You are on stage delivering a speech in front of a huge crowd. After your speech is over and just when you are about to step down, your feet stumble and you fall down. It's an awkward moment for you. But remember, you do not feel embarrassed till now. Now what happens is that everyone starts laughing at you.  As a result of this reaction of people, your conscious mind feels the awkwardness, which starts reflecting in your facial expressions and body language. Finally, you feel embarrassed.  Now, let us assume the same incident when you are rehearsing and no one is around... In this case, there is no one to judge you. There is no one to joke and laugh at you. And so, your self-consciousness is not aroused. As a result, either you ignore it or you laugh it off...Finally, you don't feel embarrassed. A keen observation: The element ‘people’ is the determining factor in both the assumptions.   But beware, I am not referring to the instances of embarrassment in which you are wrong or guilty. I am pointing out the silly moments which don't deserve to be a cause of your suffering. When you are actually wrong and you get caught publically, you will be insulted and humiliated. And remember, humiliation cuts even deeper than the embarrassment. Guilty instance 1: You cheat on your wife and you get caught. Guilty instance 2: Your lie gets caught publically. In both the instances, you actually are the culprit and be ready to face the wrath. The wrath, which will be far more than just an embarrassment. You can call it a humiliation. Maybe, an immediate apology could be an escape from the situation. But I am sorry, I cannot comment much on these situations.  Let us not divert from the topic. We can talk about humiliation, maybe in one of my upcoming articles. As of now, let us focus on the how to stop feeling embarrassed. Heartfelt Realizations: My dear friend, I don't think that people are to be blamed for your embarrassments. They are not waiting for the moments to laugh at you, make fun of you. But if...

Success and failure are brothers from different mothers. You try hard but the end result is not always in your favor. It is the time when people start judging you and even ask for justifications for your downfall or failure. Straight out, you need to appreciate the fact that your actions were inspired by none other than you. You did what you felt was right. People who can accept and understand it will agree to it. They will always back your decision. On the other hand, those who disagree; your hundreds of justifications will be in vain. Trust me, it is impossible to clarify your actions to everybody. People perceive what they want to as per their convenience and understanding. Moreover, why do you need to give justifications for your committed actions? A decision taken can have both the conditions possible. Either it will be right or it will be wrong. Be brave enough to take the responsibility of any condition. Why are you giving justifications to others and authorizing them to take a call on your decision? Also, the definition of right and wrong vary from person to person. Subsequently, neither it is possible nor it is your responsibility to make everyone happy. You don’t owe any justifications to anyone except to your time. Obliging others with your justifications is a big question on your self-belief and self-importance. Therefore, it is entirely your responsibility to take a stand for your actions. Always be loyal to your time as you cannot predict how much you have. Do things what the time demands and not what the people demand. It is the justification for your time, not people, which eases your life journey.      

Asking for help is a healthy sign. It shows your commitment to solving a problem. It shows your positive attitude that you are always open for improvement. It also signifies that you are a team player and value the suggestions of others. However, there are a few problems associated with asking for help. Well, the main issue is that you do not always run to the right person to seek help. In professional as well as in the personal sphere, only a few people genuinely want to help. There are many individuals who always look for opportunities to harm you in one way or the other.  They always want to take undue advantage of your helpless situation. Therefore, you need to be very careful while choosing people on whom you confide your trust.  Keep in mind, never make it a habit of rushing to people for petty issues. It shall make you dependent on others and never let you come out of your comfort zone. Consequently, your individual growth will be restricted. Seeking help from others now and then also shows your incapability and incompetence to deal with a problem. Eventually, people will start avoiding you.  

Expectations might push you towards your goal, but sometimes they hurt you. Yes, expectations hurt terribly. Well, the people expecting out of you might close to you.  It is because of the closeness with them; you want to fulfill their expectations. As a result, you get overburdened by those expectations. Eventually, what happens is you start believing in the notion of others rather than own self. One thing you need to realize is, if these expectations are not allowing you to breathe freely, these are not your expectations from you. The foremost thing you need to do is explore your inner self and find out your core competencies and the areas of your interest.  Undoubtedly, our loved ones want the best out of us, but sometimes they forget that every individual is unique. Try to make them realize your aspirations, your core competence, your passion and things which you love to do. You need to speak out. Make them a part of your dreams than to get carried by their expectations. If those people expecting from you love you and genuinely care for you, they will understand you. Hang on; there is an another set of individuals who expect from you. They are the people who impose expectations just to hurt you or to hold you back. They are neither your family members nor fall in the category of your friends. They are those people who have not done anything in their lives and hence cannot see others progressing. Please avoid such people and say a big “NO” to them. You owe nothing to such people. Avoid them. One more thing, your expectation should become a reason to push you to achieve your goals rather than to hurt you. It is your life. Never waste it by living it for others.          

We must love ourselves and rate ourselves high as an individual, neither feel superior nor inferior to anyone. Better said than done: Each one of us faces a time in our life when we feel lonely and isolated. This time is extremely difficult to withstand and if it is prolonged, it breaks down our inner-self attributes mainly our confidence and esteem. And as a result,  when we don't dwell inside our own aura, and others influence becomes dominant on us. Gradually, we start facing situations where our mind initiates comparison with others deliberately. It is the phase that provokes a sense of inferiority-complex within us. We begin to unnecessarily think a lot and finally struggle to maintain a healthy balance between our inner world and the outer world.  We start feeling that everyone is watching us and talking about us. We start overthinking to an extent that we start feeling that everyone is laughing at and mocking us.   To tell the truth, it is the time when we start judging ourselves through the eyes of others. Strong Realizations: I had read a quote somewhere, “People are going to judge you anyway, make sure you give them an interesting topic.” I can recall this quote haunting my one of the bad phases. Yes, it was one dark phase when I used to fear people's judgments as my inner-self attributes were at an all-time low. If we go by the quote, I did not have an interesting topic for them to offer either. I used to put unnecessary pressure on myself to perform and deliver for them. Jinxed, I failed every time. I feared embarrassment and so I stopped attending public events and social gatherings. Really, I was losing myself.    I begin to wonder, Are we always judged by the people around or there are some mysteries and secrets attached to it? I was desperate for the right answer...and I got lucky one day when I got my answer accidentally. My heartfelt realizations... It was that day when I was sitting alone and had nothing to do. I had no one to compare myself with as nobody was around. My thoughts were playing hide and seek with me. Suddenly, I confronted a thought, a thought which was as good as a realization. I realized that I had the same perceptions about myself which I perceived as people’s judgment about me. What I mean is, people's judgments were nothing but my self -imperfections creating a fear in my mind about the people's judgment. This realization left my eyes wide open. Literally, I could feel the goosebumps. Most of my questions about myself got answered that day.  You know, nobody is perfect but the only problem was that I knew about my imperfections. And it was killing me from inside. Yes, knowing yourself inside-out can also be a problem sometimes. Not only you know about your strengths, you start knowing your weaknesses as well. And when you struggle to rectify your weaknesses, it starts killing you from inside. That is when I promised myself that come-what-may, I will not relate my...