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How can anyone feel positive with so much negativity around?
The world is full of negative energies and negative people around us. There are many instances which we see, hear, read and subsequently feel every day. The unnatural deaths due to deadly diseases, sudden accidents, brutal rapes, fatal crimes; moreover the betrayals, hypocrisy, jealousy and many more…you are bound to feel negative. But, this is one way of feeling it.
Let us introduce ourselves to another way of looking at things. Despite all of the negativity happening around us, we also have all the reasons to feel content. We have a shelter to shed, food to eat, water to drink, money to spend. On top of that, WE HAVE TIME TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE while most of the people do not have time to breathe freely.
Compare yourself, but with the ones who can only dream of living your life. STOP COMPLAINING. You have all the right reasons to feel positive. Start feeling and enjoying happiness NOW.
Last but not the least, follow compassion. Helping others and making others happy is a definite way to feel happy and positive.
The Most Successful Failure…
Not only an intriguing title; I'll also make sure that the article is worth reading...
Step by step, we shall try to get into it. First of all, let us try to approach the word ‘SUCCESS.'
How does one define success?
Commonly, Success can be defined as the accomplishment of goals and objectives. For some people, the definition of success could also be the triumph over the competitors. What else? Yes, for some people, success could be reaching the top in their respective work fields. Everyone perceives success in their own peculiar way. The definition of success keeps on changing with people, time and situation.
Finding it boring??? Hold on, some interesting observations about to begin!!!
There is no denying the fact that only a few feelings can match the magical feeling of being successful. All the positive emotions can be attached to success such as happiness, rejoice, pleasure, satisfaction, euphoria, jubilation, etc.
Let us sink in deeper to unlock the other side of the story...
A few heartfelt questions:
Is the journey en-route all that beautiful like the results?
Does success come all that easy?
Are there any shortcuts to success?
Do the successful people undergo the same emotions en-route success journey like they feel after succeeding?
Let us uncover the darker side of success
A few successful realizations:
'Success is that lively and elusive mask of realization, which covers the various lifeless faces of failures.'
Baffled? I shall explain it to you...
One success story comprises of many stories of failures. Yes, there is also a dark and gloomy side of every success story. It is that phase which nobody is aware of, except for the person who has traveled that journey alone. Only a few get out strong and victorious from this phase... And those few individuals are called 'Successful People'.
We all get attracted to successful individuals who are related to our respective fields, right? But how many of us have tried to figure out that why do we get attracted towards them? Let's find out...
Some in-depth realizations!!!
Success comes along with many luring elements with it.
Some people get lured by the money, which comes along with success. Some get drawn towards the power. Some get fascinated by the glamor attached to it. Some get attracted towards the lifestyles of successful people, while some get attracted towards their achievements. There are also some individuals who get attracted towards the passion of the successful people.
Everyone has their reasons to get drawn towards success and successful people.
But let me ask you...
Have you ever tried to follow the path to success of our idols?
Have you sought to find out how painful their success journey has been?
Have you tried to find out the sacrifices they had made to reach there?
Have you sought to find out the hardships and failures they had to face before succeeding?
Are you ready to endure and struggle like they did?
These questions indeed induce a painful realization. It is because everyone wants to succeed, nobody wants to fail. What we want are results....
Appearances are Deceptive…
What does the word 'Appearance' mean?
The word Appearance is not that easy to comprehend than it seems. The meaning of 'Appearance' according to of the most of us is sheer 'Physical appearance.' However, if we see only the physical aspect of this word, it's meaning becomes quite elusive and deceptive. It is a lot more extensive than mere physical appearance.
So my dear friend, get ready to meet the other side of your Appearance...
Apart from physical appearance, there is another face of the word Appearance, which makes its connotation complete. And that aspect is the 'Mental Appearance.'
The mental appearance... sounds strange surely. But let your curiosity levels increase because this is going to be interesting. We shall gradually sort out the mysteries of our Mental Appearance.
To continue, we can say that the word ‘Appearance’ has two aspects. One is physical appearance, and the other is the mental appearance. Both the elements combined make the meaning of the word ‘Appearance’ complete.
Now, let us try to understand the meaning of both the aspects intensely...
Physical appearance?
We all are aware of the physical appearance aspect. It constitutes our apparent looks...eyes, ears, nose, skin...the attributes which are physically seen and felt. It is the visible face, the tangible face of our appearance. This is the definition of appearance which most of us have in our minds. But not only that, Physical Appearance also constitutes your presentation to the outside world, how you project yourself to others.
And now, the time has come to unveil the other side of our Appearance...The Mental Appearance.
Mental appearance?
First of all, when we are calling it the mental appearance, it means it involves our mind. And it is the reason why it's complicated.
We all are aware of the fact that it is tough to perceive what exactly is going inside a person’s mind. Our actions are not always the stimuli of what is going inside our unfathomable thoughts. Our mental appearance is a mirror to the things revolving inside a person's mind. Since others cannot see the mental aspect, it is the intangible face of our appearance.
Little clear little unclear but I hope you are getting closer to say hello to your mental appearance...Let us move further without wasting any time.
How are both the aspects of our Appearance connected?
The ideal condition states that both physical and the mental appearance must be faithful to each other. What I mean is what you showcase to the outside world(Physical appearance) must be exactly the same going inside your mind(Mental appearance). It is the transparency between the two which authenticates our identity and makes us true individuals.
But is it happening?
No, it's not. In this pretentious world, most of us are not able to maintain a healthy relationship between the two aspects. Both the aspects of our appearance do not complement each other. Always remember, only our physical appearance is not a true depiction of what we are.
Why is it important to have a transparency between both the aspects of our Appearance?
Let us try to understand it with a simple process...
Our mind...
An open letter from a child who is now a parent, dedicated to all the parents…
Dear Parents,
Greetings!!!
My age is 32 now. I became a father of beautiful daughter four years back. I am writing this letter because now, I can fully comprehend how it feels to become a parent, just like you. It is magical. I am really enjoying my parenthood. I have also realized that only my daughter can give me an opportunity to feel like a child again...something we always crave for, right?
I can say that I am able to step into your shoes now...
Apart from enjoying, I can contemplate how challenging is the role of a parent in the upbringing of a child. Seriously, it is a very tough job. Hats off to all of you. I can understand how difficult it was for you to raise us. I can relate to everything.
But I realized a few more things as well...
Introducing her to this world was my decision, not hers. So I need to adapt to the changes quickly. I need to understand my responsibilities towards her. I need to do the best I can in raising her.
Well, every parent wants to become the best parent in the world.
But what is the correct definition of the best parent? Is it a subjective question?
Well, few conditions may vary, but in any case, love, respect, morals, values, integrity, ethics are the domains, which are regardless of every condition. You all are conscious of the fact that foundation of a plant is its roots, which has to be strong. The same applies to our children. The foundation here is the upbringing of the child, which is always the responsibility of the parent.
A reality check...
I want to ask you a few questions. You may not like it but these questions are the need of the hour...
How have times you scolded your child whenever he/she has committed mistakes?
How many times have you got irritated because of them when they are curious and inquisitive?
Have you ever felt ashamed and embarrassed by them?
How many times have you shown your disappointment towards them?
Have you ever raised your hand on them?
Have you ever compared your child with others’ children?
Yes, ask yourself consciously that how many times have you tried to 'STEP INTO THEIR SHOES'?
I am sure you do not like these questions. Maybe I am asking it too directly. Please ignore if you answer to the above-asked questions is 'No' or 'Never'.
But believe me, if any of these questions are making you feel uncomfortable, it means you are feeling guilty.
You are uncovering a bitter realization within you...
Respected parents, I don’t intend to hurt by asking you these questions. These issues are the need of the hour. Let us stop ignoring it and talk about it now. It is crucial for you to realize that your pain inflicted by these questions is minimal compared to your child's pain inflicted by you. Yes, you read it right...
As a parent, it is very easy for you to express your negative emotions towards them....
We are under the illusion of being judged by others…
We must love ourselves and rate ourselves high as an individual, neither feel superior nor inferior to anyone.
Better said than done:
Each one of us faces a time in our life when we feel lonely and isolated. This time is extremely difficult to withstand and if it is prolonged, it breaks down our inner-self attributes mainly our confidence and esteem.
And as a result, when we don't dwell inside our own aura, and others influence becomes dominant on us.
Gradually, we start facing situations where our mind initiates comparison with others deliberately. It is the phase that provokes a sense of inferiority-complex within us. We begin to unnecessarily think a lot and finally struggle to maintain a healthy balance between our inner world and the outer world.
We start feeling that everyone is watching us and talking about us. We start overthinking to an extent that we start feeling that everyone is laughing at and mocking us.
To tell the truth, it is the time when we start judging ourselves through the eyes of others.
Strong Realizations:
I had read a quote somewhere, “People are going to judge you anyway, make sure you give them an interesting topic.” I can recall this quote haunting my one of the bad phases.
Yes, it was one dark phase when I used to fear people's judgments as my inner-self attributes were at an all-time low. If we go by the quote, I did not have an interesting topic for them to offer either.
I used to put unnecessary pressure on myself to perform and deliver for them. Jinxed, I failed every time. I feared embarrassment and so I stopped attending public events and social gatherings. Really, I was losing myself.
I begin to wonder, Are we always judged by the people around or there are some mysteries and secrets attached to it? I was desperate for the right answer...and I got lucky one day when I got my answer accidentally.
My heartfelt realizations...
It was that day when I was sitting alone and had nothing to do. I had no one to compare myself with as nobody was around. My thoughts were playing hide and seek with me.
Suddenly, I confronted a thought, a thought which was as good as a realization. I realized that I had the same perceptions about myself which I perceived as people’s judgment about me. What I mean is, people's judgments were nothing but my self -imperfections creating a fear in my mind about the people's judgment.
This realization left my eyes wide open. Literally, I could feel the goosebumps. Most of my questions about myself got answered that day.
You know, nobody is perfect but the only problem was that I knew about my imperfections. And it was killing me from inside. Yes, knowing yourself inside-out can also be a problem sometimes. Not only you know about your strengths, you start knowing your weaknesses as well. And when you struggle to rectify your weaknesses, it starts killing you from inside.
That is when I promised myself that come-what-may, I will not relate my...
There are two bulls inside us fighting. Who’s winning?
My dear friend, starting from head-tail, good-evil, right-wrong, everything is double-faced. Even a story or a debate has two angles. And you know what, we, the humans are no different.
The fact which we all need to get acquainted with is that we have two bulls inside us fighting with each other. Let’s find out who wins?
Naturally, our physical body needs food. It is the food we eat which keeps us up and running. Without a second thought, food is the fuel for the physical body.
But one thing to observe is the food we eat, the diet we follow is our choice… healthy or unhealthy? And there is a difference in how we feel following either of the diets.
While healthy food makes us feel fresh and energy-boosted, the unhealthy food lowers our energy and freshness level.
No brainer, you know these things, but there is a reason I am saying this... My dear friend,
much like our physical body, which runs on what we eat, our mental body runs on what we feed.
I’ll come straight to the point, there are two bulls inside our mind. These bulls feed on two different feeds. Interestingly, only one feed is available at a point. As a result, one bull is always hungry, and the other bull is always full. And so, the fight is always on between the two to get their respective feed.
Who are these bulls?
Why do they fight?
What is their food?
Why can’t we feed them together?
What is the source of their food?
These might be some of your questions seeking answers.
Yes, now the time has come to meet both the bulls...
Let us meet the first bull:
This bull is always happy, positive, compassionate, cheerful, stress-free, high on inner-self attributes, and hence high on life. I call it the Saint’s bull, which is always hungry for positive emotions.
It feeds on joy, gratitude, pride, love which it attracts from the outside world. We can say it is the healthy food which the saint’s bull craves for!!!
Let us meet the second bull:
This bull inside us is always sad, angry, frustrated, low in inner-self attributes, and hence is depressed all the time. I call it a Demon’s bull, which is always hungry for negative emotions.
This bull feeds on hatred, stress, jealousy which it attracts from the outside world. We can conclude that it is the unhealthy food which the demon’s bull craves for!!!
Now, when we have met both the bulls, let’s talk about the availability of feed for the bulls.
Situations providing food to the Saint’s bull:
The arrival of a newborn
Monetary gains and profits
Job promotion
Success in any competitive field
Accomplishment of goals
A celebration party
These are some situations from our personal and professional sphere in which the saint’s bull gets the feed from the outside world. This is why we feel happy and joyous in these situations.
Let us find out the instances which provide food to the demon’s bull:
Loss of life of a loved one
Monetary Losses
Failure in a competition
Embarrassments and Criticisms
In these situations, the only feed available from...
About Us
Yes, that's what I thought!
It's not about you and me.
It's about us where we need to stand up tall,
to stand up for each other.
Do you feel negative?
Do you think life has been unfair to you?
Do you have personality disorders?
Do you lack awareness in the present moment?
Is your mind always tired?
Are you unhappy without any reason?
Do you overthink?
Do you find it difficult to control your thoughts?
Are you low in your inner-self?
Do you get easily influenced by others?
Is your definition of happiness materialistic?
Do you think you are the only one facing all the problems in this world?
Do you find it difficult to say no to others?
Do you find it difficult to say no to yourself?
Are you not able to perform and deliver at your workplace?
Have you not discovered your passion?
Are you uncompassionate?
Do you think that you are doing injustice to your life?
Are you always apprehensive?
Is your aura dependent on others?
Is stress taking a toll on you?
Do you blame others for your negativity?
Did you have a troubled childhood?
Do you fear social judgments?
Do you lack self-awareness?
Are you disrespectful to yourself and others?
Are you deprived of love?
Are you still seeking ways to meditate?
If you could relate to any of these questions, first of all feel blessed because you are a human and not a robot. Life spares none, sometimes it hits hard and knocks you down. Yes, all of us have been knocked down many times.
But at the same time, we are gifted with sufficient strength to develop a positive mindset, to make a comeback every time we get knocked down. And finally, stand tall like never. That indeed is a happy realization.
I, Amanpreet Singh, founder of Happy Realization, shall feel blessed to be able to connect the dots to explore answers we all keep searching, and harmonize a link which can inspire and bring a positive change in our lives. Let us jointly make an effort to contribute towards humanity and mankind, and create a valuable difference.
LET US BRING IN SOME HAPPY REALIZATIONS