Self Improvement and Motivation

In the fight between positivity and negativity, we wish positivity emerges as a winner... always!  Ever wondered why? A general impression of negativity is bad. For this reason, we want to stay away from it. As the grass on the other side looks greener, we end up longing for positivity without realizing what feeling negative can offer.   What is feeling negative? Is negativity as bad as you think? When I say feeling negative, I mean feeling the most common negative emotion affecting most of us — Sadness. You won’t deny wherever there is negativity because of any reason, we feel sad by default. And if you think feeling negative is bad, let me tell you it’s not. Be it a health issue, monetary loss, an adverse relationship, negativity is an alert notifying something is wrong which needs a fix. In fact, feeling negative bestows you with life experiences which teaches you profound life lessons. Don’t believe me? Here’s more courage to you: “The key to happiness - or that even more desired thing, calmness - lies not in always thinking happy thoughts. No. That is impossible. No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. They key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don’t become them. Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person.” ― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive Allow me to share: 5 positive lessons from Feeling Negative Negativity unleashes the other side —  Positivity Ever wondered why is seesaw-ride enjoyable?  The rider doesn’t hold on to either of the highs or lows of the ride for too long. Or else the ride gets boring. Life is no different. It’s an emotional seesaw ride switching ends — from positivity to negativity and negativity to positivity. And life goes on! Where's the problem? Most of us ignore the fact feeling negative is as real as death. For instance— when we suffer a failure, a criticism, a bully, a loss...it's natural to experience negative emotions. But because of ignorance, we do not accept negativity. What I mean by non-acceptance is we quickly look for solutions to escape without analyzing the whys and hows of feeling negative. Beware! this approach sinks your ship soon. You cannot identify the reasons for feeling negative. What worse, other negative emotions invade in the shelter already created by the mind. Eventually, negativity becomes an integral part of us and positivity becomes a fantasy, an untouched dream. This way, neither you allow negativity to teach you a life-lesson, nor you taste positivity. Is this what you want? Well... surely not! What you need to know: Everyone is on the same leaky boat. Negative feelings hit everyone now and then. It is as customary as going to the loo. So just take it easy and respect the natural phenomena. Keep in mind, only the acceptance of negativity enables you to unlock the solutions to get out of it. Yes... only when you accept the pain, you’ll find the pain relievers. Please stop fighting...

What defines your monotonous life? My boredom? Our generation’s boring monotony? A haunting tradition following since the X generation! It’s a pre-defined conventional journey — starts with a super-active child at home, an exuberant kid in school, an adventurous youth in college, and then? As soon as you enter the late twenties and early thirties, don’t you feel:We are puppets dancing off-beat to the tune of a monotonous life? You won’t disagree more or less we share a common story. We’ll talk a little about every phase starting teenage. The time before that does not qualify for scrutiny. We were happy souls then. The tender teenage is the age when most of us are on an exploring spree. It’s the most exciting phase when most of us are introduced to new experiences. The thrills of hormonal attraction, the adventure of bunking classes, the excitement of a new cellphone, fear of failures, sadness inflicting loss, and whatnot… Life events are not customary and that’s the best part of this time. Every moment awaits to capture a new experience. Moving to the next phase is the dawn of adulthood (the twenty-one's) when most of us go through a full range of overwhelming emotions, and gradually we prioritize and move forward with our choices and responses. But what next? Don’t you realize life stagnates thereafter? Yes… the majority of us stand at the doorstep of a monotonous life. ‘That’s because we turn into:spouses and parents in personal livesan employee or an employer in a professional careera mere reputation in the social environmentTill over and out.’ Please keep reading even if you haven’t reached this state, you are closer than you think! That’s because soon a customary routine takes over to define our life’s monotonous process until we final gasp. Most have compromised with it. But you don’t belong there, the reason you are here. Allow me to offer: 4 super effective ways to break the monotony of everyday life: Twist the thought process When you program your mind into a routine existence; your mind becomes a jailor and your soul a prisoner. Your life isn’t a beautiful exploration journey anymore. I may sound silly if I ask you: Do you wait for the holidays? Everyone does! Most of us work our asses off the entire week to enjoy on weekends. But does that mean you are eligible for happiness only on weekends? I don’t know much but I am sure about this: We cannot assign a particular date, time, and place for happiness. My friend; even happiness seems monotonous this way. What I feel we need this break every day. Any small conscious mind break is capable to break your routine existence. Listening to music, exercising, or maybe a long drive — any such monotony breaker not involving your mind is capable to rejuvenate your soul. And when you do that, you realize happiness does not involve the mind, it’s an essence of the soul. Did you know? Not only feeling happiness, but a mind rest daily can also raise its potency drastically. Here is a summary of recent research and thinking on the value of taking breaks. Start it now or else your holiday break remains a random...

I wish you undress. Watching you nude would be a wonderful treat. Now before you judge, it’s your mental body I’m talking about! Sounds silly? it’s not: Unwrapping your mental body is as vital as wrapping your physical body. Let's unwrap!   Differences between Nude and Naked  I’m sure your mental body doesn’t wear clothes. It's lying nude but people cannot see you for a simple reason:You don't express your vulnerable originality. (It can be need of your hour), but at least accept your nudity than to live in fear of exposed naked.  I feel: When you unveil your orginality by yourself, you are nude.  When others expose it, you are naked. Seems nuance, but there is a huge difference between the two.   John Berger says:   Nakedness reveals itself. Nudity is placed on display. The nude is condemned to never being naked. Nudity is a form of dress.   The journey to nudity is a painful transformation where you learn the subtle art of giving a damn about people.   Still Confused?   There’s one beautiful citation by MENTAL FLOSS illustrating the difference between naked and nude:   “If you doff your duds to pose while descending a staircase for a tasteful painting done by a respected artist, then you’re nude. If a bunch of paparazzi suddenly burst in through the studio door and take your picture without permission, you are suddenly naked.”   Nude is better than Naked You age, you mature, you ripe while growing in age. Your personality flows with time! Your ‘then and now’ might have a discrepancy.  And now: You want to adapt for own good; Wish to age like a fine wine.  You strive to flow with time; Want to experience your journey consciously. Like to become more and more you!   What's holding you to unleash? People already have an opinion about you. They recognize you a particular way.  And you want to break that monotony! You know you have changed; you want others to accept it. But the grey:  You are afraid of how people will perceive your transformation!!   As bitter as it gets People cannot take it if you grow more than them. They are jealous of your self-awareness.   They crib over your maturity. Your clarity offends them.   People piss off when you attend them less.   No denial, even you have been guilty. But it’s human to commit mistakes; right? This is how we learn. You are probably wondering:Is showcasing nudity that easy? No, it’s not! People restrict you. They try every way to intercept your transformation. Cry, yell, request, they do it all!   But before you quit Showcase one performance where you go all in to become nude. Yes, gather courage to express yourself only once.   Reach out to them and let your soul scream — This is my originality; Accept or Leave!   Trust me, you’ll never have to cover your face with an illusory mask of fear again.   One firm step towards finding yourself is worth giving a shot. One bold attempt to get nude is always better than getting your exposed by people.   Wondering why nudity is paramount? To breathe freely!   Because today or tomorrow they find the real you hiding. You cannot run away from yourself for long.   A few sympathize, most of them call you a liar.   The unbearable suffering is hard to deal with. Your self-esteem reaches...

My mind runs here, there, everywhere trying to win the race against time.It retreats to the past, leaps into the future, only to lose in the present. My present moment is rolling but my mind is ahead or behind it.The poor mind is losing in both cases and you know who’s winning? Time! The unsung battle  Never could I realize my unconscious mind started competing with the invincible Time.  Time proposes friendship, offers to unite, invites the mind to end animosity.  But the audacious mind soaked in ego wishes to rule over the boundless. Unlike mind, Time never calls it a fight, flowing at a divine pace, faithful to everyone.But that transparency deceives my mind. No wonder, my mind one powerful unit. It flaunts, but in self-admiration, forgets everyone and everything is a slave to Time. Interestingly, both have their best friend... I’m sure you want to meet them. Meet my mind's bestie Intoxication, my mind’s best friend. It possesses every quality.It makes my mind dance in good times, a pain-reliever in bad.  But my exuberant mind cannot identify Intoxication’s cruel intentions. Besides having monetary demands, Intoxication seizes independence. It takes my mind for a drive to future, reverses gear, accelerates to the past. And when the psychological drama is over, throws it to the unpleasant reality soon. Illusionary happiness convinces the unconscious mind to depend on Intoxication mesmerizing by its bittersweetness. Time watches everything silently and loves the juvenile games! My mind doesn’t realize flowing with Time creates an awareness that solves most of the riddles.          Mind (riding on ego) wins moments when it has materialistic possessions including power, but Time is smiling on the Death corner to ruin the party.Time never reacts on course, it's best friend does the talking!  Unveiling Time's best friend None other than Karma.Brutally honest, one powerful unit.Time prefers silence, but Karma is violent. They share beautiful chemistry.Questions on time, Karma takes the responsibility of answers.Time defines the best part... the answers of Karma. The style of Karma’s answering is different, more of a beating. Poor mind, unable to face the wrath not only lost but also accepted. Yes... my mind realized it was fighting a lost battle. Finally, it pleaded to Time ... I lost to you, proud; Karma taught me loud.Creepy thoughts are dominant, laugh when Ego I say I’m confident.I want to age with you; I want to walk with you.Help or it’s my end, please help my friend. It was difficult to convince Time who thought it could be a mind’s ploy. But Time filled with self-respect accepted it with open arms.  It responded ... In the quest of running, you forgot how to walk.I’m winning, either win with me or lose against me. I’m flowing, either flow with me or drown. And then evolved a conscious realization ... Happiness is nowhere but in the awareness of the present moment. My mind made a new friend ... my body, which accompanies it everywhere, unlike earlier. Now, my mental body and physical body walk together along with time. Do you know how are they connected? Through the awareness of my breaths! Final Words Negativity spares none.I face moments when the outer world is all over me....

Yes, it is your judgmental eyes which inflicts unbearable pain, which makes me suffer like a loser. It's because you judge me by my smile without realizing the burden of tears I am carrying. Your eyes can only see my physical wounds, but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I wish you could hear the cries of mental wounds...  You know my problem?  I have not attained that level where I stop getting affected by judgments and opinions about me. Yes, assuredly, I shall reach there one day but for God's sake, please stop until then. I know that I don't have a strong dwelling of my aura where I can reside, but why aren't you allowing me to create a foundation of my aura? Why are you enforcing your aura on me? I'm not asking you to stop judging me, I know you don't have this ability. What I'm requesting you is to judge me only after stepping into my shoes.  Wow..what an irony...instead of pushing me back to life, you are pushing me to death. And the father of all ironies is that you still claim that you care about me. I won't surrender to the situation and commit suicide, but do you just feel that you are responsible for instigating suicidal thoughts inside me. Please try to understand that I am already fighting an intense battle with my capabilities, I am already bleeding so why do you want to bleed me to death? I'm already burning so please stop adding fuel to that fire!!! Don't you dare to perceive it as your dominance over me. I'm getting affected by you because of reasons I'm not sure you would want to hear. But if you are courageous enough, let me clear out the reasons behind my sufferings... I'm tolerating this suffocation because you matter to me...your opinions, your comments, your observations, your judgments regarding me matters to me, it all matters to me. I cannot turn my back on you, I cannot run away from you, I cannot part my ways with you. It is because I care for you, I'm attached to you, and so I don't want to hurt you. But you are not stopping!!! Your judgmental eyes and judgmental lies   are choking my breath. And if this is what you have to offer, I'm sorry but you are forcing me to become you. And my dear, if I become like you, not sure whether you would be able to withstand my honesty. Beware...it is my respect for you talking thus far!!! But if you are not stopping here, then I don't find any option than to be brutal!!! And if you really want to know the reason behind the discrepancy between my physical and mental appearance, be patient...I would uncover my feelings as slowly as I could so that you taste every bit of what I'm going through. Instead of asking me what is wrong, you always call me wrong. Please stop stating the obvious because I was not the same some time back. But did you bother to know the reason?  And when you are judging me through...

And here she begins... You opted to grow up but I opted to remain a child... I preferred to stay the same but you loved the change. You know why? Because the change was for your good, not mine. I can understand that you were ambitious enough to lash onto every opportunity but how could you when the foundation of it was my failure? You did not realize that your success ladder was not wide enough that we climbed together. But you never looked back to check whether I was behind.  You know... I was all ears in your struggling times. I made you run when you could not stand. I gave you a purpose to fight when you were on the brink of losing. I literally gave you life when you were on the verge of a suicide. Now how could you glow your candle without realizing that it was my wax which is burning? How could you move on leaving me behind? How could you take a stride when either of your shoes was not mine? How did you clap when either of your hands was not mine? I know you are not good at expressing love but then how were you so good at expressing the bitterness? You doubted my reciprocation emphasizing that I changed. You said I don’t love you anymore... You were not completely wrong because you didn’t deserve it anymore. Yes, both of us wanted a bigger house, but it is you who forgot that... The bigger the house, The longer The distance between the rooms. You forgot that the foundation of a healthy relationship is respect, and not always love!!! You cursed my anger and frustration but never realized it was my pain shouting at you.  You said you don’t see a smile; I say you didn’t see my tears... You called me possessive and insecure but I say it was love. You spoke to get heard but about my words...they sought attention, but your ears called them trespassers. I know you found my fault and I found yours... And maybe neither of us was wrong and the situation was guilty. But you know what, you were never ready to be tested in those situations.  No, you were not a liar either but the problem was you were brutally honest. I took pride in calling you ‘my man’ but you turned out to be more of a man with fewer emotions. I am sure you never cheated on me with other women but does that make you loyal? Sorry I deny because you stopped looking at me either. I’m sure you never slept with other women but why did you stop sleeping with me? It was our mutual decision that I conceive. The decision which once looked beautiful seems ugly now. You know why? Because I am the one who has to live with that decision, not you. Yes, I am still facing the wrath to conceive that decision. Abortion was your solution, but it was ‘your solution to your insecurities.’ If you ask me which you never did, it was a heinous crime. Society... we never cared about, but I never realized that...

Yes, I am turning 30 in a week. Don’t know how to perceive it. Unable to understand whether to feel happy or to feel sad... Don’t know whether it is encouraging or disheartening? Don’t know whether to celebrate or to cry? Just not able to sink in the feeling of entering the “club 30”. It’s because most teenagers want to be called as adults, not children. For that, they eagerly wait to leave the teenage and enter the world of the twenties. Surprisingly, the ones in their thirties also want to relive their twenties. So you see... the period of the twenties is one golden and an adventurous phase sought not only by the teenagers but also by the ones in their thirties. And the same is happening to me. Leaving my twenties is quite a heavy feeling. This new beginning marks the end of a tipsy-topsy yet worth-remembering decade.  Most of us fear the new and I am no different. I am apprehensive about it!!! But what is the reason behind it, I’m not able to figure out. Is that the beautiful memories of my twenties or the feel of worthlessness reaching the thirties? I have money, I have a beautiful family, I am working fine, both my physical and the mental appearance is fine, I have everything a person can ask for, but I am just not up for it. Don’t know what is wrong with me? What am I fearing, what do I want, why am I apprehensive...Why am I not able to take pride in turning 30? What is bothering me?  Locks without keys... questions without answers. Is it the professional lag I wish to destroy or is the entertainment I shall miss on turning 30? Well, I guess it is a mixture of both. But the ironical part is that in both the conditions, I don’t want to leave this phase. I have confessions to make both personally and professionally. Let’s find out the particular reasons behind my uncertainties... If you ask about my professional sphere... Maybe, the reason I am reluctant to reach the 30 is I could have done better with the phase of the twenties. And I still have a lot to achieve before I reach this stage. I feel I lag in achieving my goals. Sometimes, I even feel like a loser. When I look back, I don’t recall a beautiful past. Life has not been a fairy tale for me even after having everything a man needs to be happy. If I die a natural death which I suppose is 60, half of my life is over. But I still don’t know where my life is leading to. Read in a study somewhere that people get prone to a heart attack after they reach 30.  Now see, even studies indicate that my end is near. Hahaha… seriously these things have tickled my mind. You know why? Because if I die today, what will the people remember me for? Have I done anything worth remembering? Wow… some serious questions, huh?  If you ask about my personal sphere... I cannot look at the beautiful girls, don’t...

We might be one of those who confuse between Self respect the virtue and Ego the vice.The reason is simple:Both infuse a sense of pride. What I feel is ego and self respect are the two extremes of a single line. Unlocking the mystery is vital. Before moving to the differences, let us address the two — Ego and Self Respect. Definitions of Ego and Self Respect Ego is negative. It is an emerging belief arising from deliberate comparison of oneself with others.We compare ourselves with both the higher and lower people we consider in terms of money, power, authority, appearance, anything. Either we feel superior or we get hurt. Self respect is positive. There is a deeper consciousness where we commit only to actions that don't cause shame while doing it or afterward. A heightened state when there's self-acceptance regardless of possessions and identities.  I love this citation: “There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. ‘Good pride’ represents our dignity and self-respect. ‘Bad pride’ is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance.” —John C. Maxwell It wonderfully defines the two often confused Ego and Self Respect.Let us jump right into the differences: 15 differences between Ego and Self respect Ego- We bow down to the ones we consider superior to us, and bully/ignore the ones inferior in our adulterated minds.Self Respect- There's a positive attitude where we love everyone including ourselves.Ego- Me only me... there's only self-interest even at the cost of hurting others. What's worse, we are unconscious of it most times.Self Respect- We, we, or after you... We take care of everyone's sentiments, never hurting anyone intentionally. Same time making sure our voice is heard.Ego- We are in constant comparison and competition with others. We desire to beat them anyhow.Self Respect- We don't compare ourselves to others. We aspire to touch our deeper selves.Ego- We deliberately choose the wrong means, opt for shortcuts, be manipulative just to satisfy our ego.Self Respect- Our respect for ourselves is supreme which refrains from committing to the wrong. It encourages to choose difficult paths, the tough responses.Ego- We fear the outside world — people and situations. The reason is simple: Self-conceit is hollow, so we fear any change from the monotony could expose our nudity as naked.Self Respect- We fear no one as there's nothing to hide. We welcome the new through a positive attitude and self-belief. Ego- It dwells on materialistic achievements and alluring drives. We buy an expensive mobile or a new car, it fuels our ego. We feel superior to others. But when we lose money or power, our ego is shattered. There's always dependency for happiness.Self Respect- It is an inner virtue not fuelled by materialism. It is a guiding light from our deeper self independent of the outside world.Ego- It fulfills with negative emotions deriving out of self-pride. These negative emotions are hatred, jealousy, anger, greed, impatience, and the like. We don't hesitate to harm and misuse others.Self Respect - When we ride high on self-respect, we love ourselves and respect...

Though it is common to face the feeling of sadness, grief, and sorrow at some point in our lives, depression is a serious condition which needs to be unmasked and knocked out. Most of us often confuse between sadness and Depression. And therefore, It is imperative to know the differences and take appropriate measures. 14 differences between sadness and depression  The foremost difference between sadness and depression is that sadness is a temporary feeling. On the other hand, the feeling of depression is over an extended period, can last even for a lifetime. Sadness is an emotional pain which is a reaction to situations. The reasons for sadness are apparent. It could be linked to the death of a closed one, financial losses, failures, homesickness, breakups, fight with the best friend, and so on... Depression is a serious medical illness where one is sad about everything. A situation where everything is fine but the person still feels miserable. Shockingly, there is no apparent reason for depression. Yes, you read it right. A person can feel depressed for no reason.  A sad person craves for the moments once rejoiced; they miss the activities which used to excite them. In case of a depressed person, nothing seems to pull their interest, not even the things which used to give them pleasure earlier...  A sad person relates their sadness only to the causes of sadness. They do not trigger their overthinking mode. The intensity of pain is confined to the reasons for sadness. A depressed person is already hurt. And so, they get affected by petty issues beyond boundaries. They overthink about it. In the process, find self-hurting reasons which have no relevance to the primary cause. As a result, the intensity of pain is unbearable. Feel is the essence of happiness. When a person is sad, he/she doesn’t lose the ability to feel. With depression, the person loses the ability to feel. They feel less and think more. In extreme stages of depression, the feel quotient is almost dead, and the person stops getting affected by anything and everything happening around. When a person feels sad, the motive in their life never subsides. He/She does not give up on their dreams, passion, goals, and ambitions.  A person feeling depressed does not have aims and aspirations. They have no purpose in life. They are unaware of where their life is leading to. A sad person follows the routinary sleep and diet patterns. Even if the pattern gets disturbed, it is for a short time span. In case of a depressed person, it lasts way longer than that... the person may become an insomniac or sleep all day…With diet, either they don’t eat at all or keep munching on abnormal quantities at abnormal timings.  With sadness, one does not feel tired and fatigue the whole day, every day. The reasons can be attributed to the causes of sadness. With depression, one does not feel getting out of the bed the entire day, every day. On top of that, the cause of tiredness and fatigue can be linked to literally nothing. Yes, read it right!!! When a person has reasons to feel sad, he will be sad....

First of all, let us define self-control: According to Vocabulary.com, "Self-control is the quality that allows you to stop yourself from doing things you want to do but that might not be in your best interest." My dear friend, today’s world is full of alluring mediums where you fall prey to the materialistic forces for momentary happiness. Resisting the temptation has become extremely difficult.  Getting carried away to these tempting drives might give you instant happiness and success. It is the reason why you begin to lose your self-control and commit yourself to these choices. But is the success and happiness derived by committing to it real? Does it really last for a lifetime? Let us find out... Why is Self-Control Important? Straight out, there are no shortcuts to success, and happiness derived after fulfilling the never-ending desires is short-lived. You got the reason why is it short-lived. It is because those desires are never-ending. The fulfillment of one just makes making way for the other, resulting in a never-ending vicious flow. This momentary happiness is soon followed by regret. And trust me, this regret adversely affects the self-love. And if continued further, it may even lead to self-harming thoughts. It is immensely important to stay away from these drives. And this is why your self-control has a vital role to play. The stronger your self-control, the less you fall prey to the luring drives.  A few daily-life practical examples where self-control is important... Student, self-control is resisting the temptation of going to your best friend's birthday celebration today when he/she has a difficult exam tomorrow. Ice-cream lover, self-control is resisting the temptation of eating it when you are on a fitness diet. Married man, self-control is resisting the temptation of getting carried by the physical beauty of another woman. Sugar patient, self-control is resisting the temptation of sweets and desserts. Parent, self-control is resisting the temptation of raising hands on your child when he/she commits a mistake. Stressed person, self-control is resisting the temptation of alcohol, which is an elusive stress buster. Monetary-struggler, self-control is resisting the temptation to earn quick money by unethical means like gambling or theft. Failure, self-control is the resisting the temptation of giving up. I am sure you can relate to any of these instances.How is Self-Control Connected to Self-Esteem? In such a competitive and stressful environment where every man is for themselves, self-esteem has become quite essential. And it is your self-control, which is responsible for your boosted self-esteem. If you keep falling prey to the alluring mediums, you will never be able to ride high on your self-esteem. Ultimately, you shall keep on denying the internal happiness. On the contrary, you just need one big situation where you resist yourself to the alluring temptation via self-control. Then off you go, your self-esteem and self-love get an automatic boost. And this boost acts as a solid base to resist the upcoming temptations. Let us find out how this entire process works... AN INDIVIDUAL – SELF-CONTROL – CHARACTER BUILDING  – AVOIDANCE OF MATERIALISTIC TEMPTATIONS – HIGH SELF-ESTEEM –  REAL HAPPINESS. First and foremost, self-control has to be your initiation to do the...