Tag: Turning 30

Yes, I am turning 30 in a week. Don’t know how to perceive it. Unable to understand whether to feel happy or to feel sad... Don’t know whether it is encouraging or disheartening? Don’t know whether to celebrate or to cry? Just not able to sink in the feeling of entering the “club 30”. It’s because most teenagers want to be called as adults, not children. For that, they eagerly wait to leave the teenage and enter the world of the twenties. Surprisingly, the ones in their thirties also want to relive their twenties. So you see... the period of the twenties is one golden and an adventurous phase sought not only by the teenagers but also by the ones in their thirties. And the same is happening to me. Leaving my twenties is quite a heavy feeling. This new beginning marks the end of a tipsy-topsy yet worth-remembering decade.  Most of us fear the new and I am no different. I am apprehensive about it!!! But what is the reason behind it, I’m not able to figure out. Is that the beautiful memories of my twenties or the feel of worthlessness reaching the thirties? I have money, I have a beautiful family, I am working fine, both my physical and the mental appearance is fine, I have everything a person can ask for, but I am just not up for it. Don’t know what is wrong with me? What am I fearing, what do I want, why am I apprehensive...Why am I not able to take pride in turning 30? What is bothering me?  Locks without keys... questions without answers. Is it the professional lag I wish to destroy or is the entertainment I shall miss on turning 30? Well, I guess it is a mixture of both. But the ironical part is that in both the conditions, I don’t want to leave this phase. I have confessions to make both personally and professionally. Let’s find out the particular reasons behind my uncertainties... If you ask about my professional sphere... Maybe, the reason I am reluctant to reach the 30 is I could have done better with the phase of the twenties. And I still have a lot to achieve before I reach this stage. I feel I lag in achieving my goals. Sometimes, I even feel like a loser. When I look back, I don’t recall a beautiful past. Life has not been a fairy tale for me even after having everything a man needs to be happy. If I die a natural death which I suppose is 60, half of my life is over. But I still don’t know where my life is leading to. Read in a study somewhere that people get prone to a heart attack after they reach 30.  Now see, even studies indicate that my end is near. Hahaha… seriously these things have tickled my mind. You know why? Because if I die today, what will the people remember me for? Have I done anything worth remembering? Wow… some serious questions, huh?  If you ask about my personal sphere... I cannot look at the beautiful girls, don’t...