Let me start this post with a short story. It is a typical father-son conversation, but it is not stereotypical by any means…
Father: Son, why are you sitting alone with a long face?
Son: Nothing Dad, I just want to be alone.
Father: That’s absolutely fine…but whenever you want to talk about anything, I am always around.
Son: (Sighs) Dad, please stay. (After a long pause) Can I say something?
Father: (Smiles) Of course, go ahead. I am all ears.
Son: Dad, I am feeling very lonely and depressed. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have any idea where my life is heading. I am not able to find any course of action to be implemented. My inner-self is at all time low.
I look back and I only find failures. I am feeling worthless and helpless. I am not able to handle the stress. I am losing it. It has also started taking a toll on my conduct. My anger is taking a toll on me. I have begun losing my friends because of my behavioral changes. I am losing awareness. I am losing happiness. I am losing myself. Dad, I am losing everything. (about to cry).
Father: Relax son. Have a glass of water. (Calms him down and begins). Let me share a real-life incident with you which I underwent around 20 years back.
That day, I got a salary hike, and I was returning home from the office. I had a scooter to commute those days. On that particular day, because of the heavy and relentless rain, I had to hire a public transport (bus) to come back home from the office. While I was on my way back home, I was jubilant. I was happy because I got a raise that day. It was like a dream come true.
Whatmore, I got a seat to sit on the bus which was full. I was feeling very lucky and happy. I was on top of the world.
In due course, an elderly woman boarded the bus. She stood by my seat as there were no empty seats available. A few moments later, with an agonizing look, she expressed that she is tired and not able to stand. She wanted me to get up from the seat and allow her to sit. I was too high and busy in myself that I didn’t bother about her pain.
Not even that, with a grinning smile, I made fun of her. I even passed her lousy comments. I was so important to me that time that I was not able to realize her misery. She was so disturbed that she left there and moved to the rear side of the bus. After some time, I turned back. Finally, she got a seat to sit. A girl, who whose age was around 20 had given her seat to her (old woman).
I was stunned to see who that girl was. You will be shocked too. Do you want to know who was she?
Son: Absolutely Dad…Who was she?
Father: (After a long pause)…It was none other than your aunt, my sister. She was in college and used to commute by bus. She was on the same bus.
Yes, it was my younger sister who taught me a lesson for a lifetime. I was ashamed. I felt embarrassed and conscience-stricken at the same time. In a matter of seconds, my egoistic soul underwent a suffering. I went pale. Neither I was able to face her, nor I was able to face myself. My sister, who is five years younger to me had her values and morals intact.
You know she taught me a life lesson which is not available in the books. This knowledge is inbuilt within us. This realization is deep down inside us. Eventually, I realized that this is the process of self realization and self actualization which I underwent.
Son, if you come across reasons to be happy because of yourself, rest assured, you will find reasons to be sad because of yourself. But as an honest human being, you need to take the responsibility of everything, be it right or wrong.
My dear son, you are in the process of knowing oneself. You must consider yourself lucky than to feel disappointed about it. Yes, it might wallop you but remember, nothing will groom you better than this process. The harder it will hit you, the stronger you will become. Son, the choice is entirely yours. Either, you can sit back and regret your past mistakes and failures, or you can face it with the right attitude. Moreover, take it as a learning curve and polish yourself.
Son: (After listening patiently to his father). Dad, do you mean to say that everything is fine if I am going through these emotions and feelings?
Father: Yes my son, everything is perfectly fine if you are facing this situation. The important thing is how you perceive this mental transformation and how much you nurture after this process.
One more thing, you surely deserve an ice-cream treat. It requires tremendous courage to express these feelings. Glad you did it.
Son: (chuckles) Oh, thank you so much, I too think I need one.
It is a matter of the fact that we should enjoy our lives to the fullest, appreciate it and be thankful for it. Moreover, we must keep ourselves away from overthinking, which forces us to lose the awareness in the present moment.
However, there comes a time in everyone’s life when you ask yourself –WHAT NEXT.
It is the time when you start taking into account your past achievements and failures. Subsequently, you start connecting it to your present and start calculating your current net worth. You begin to realize how it will shape up your future. It is nothing but the process of self realization and self actualization.
It is the process which is more about the comparison, not with anyone else but with YOU. It is a critical transformation stage in your life when you get to see your real self. It is when you reveal your true identity to yourself.
It is phenomenon after which no one else knows you better than YOU. It is a process when you start connecting the dots to realize what you have done so far.
Remember, the process of self realization and self actualization can make you or break you. Also, one thing which you need to realize is in this world of hypocrisy and fakeness, not everyone gets to meet their real self. Consider yourself lucky if you have gone, are going or will go through this process.
Who undergoes this realization process?
The people who fathom this realization could be the ones who :
- have wasted their time and depleting their energies in non-productivity.
- have lived a life full of fakeness.
- always opted for materialistic choices.
- have faced criticism, the ones who have tolerated bullies.
- have experienced failures, the ones who have suffered losses, the ones who have seen betrayals.
- have gone through self-complexities, the ones who have endured tragedies.
- could not say no to others.
- have been under the influence of intoxication…a drug addict or an alcoholic.
- have tasted success and have been at their highs.
To tell the truth, the people who go through this process are the ones who are learning everything the hard way. Inevitably, this process of self realization and self actualization hits hard, really hard. How much can you endure?
Time for some Happy Realizations:
The process of self realization and self actualization can be challenging and tough. But at the same time, it is definitely a boon in disguise if you
- are patient enough to let it go.
- can sink in deep within you to know yourself better.
- are brave enough not to get carried away by how people perceive you.
- have the confidence to back up your decisions.
Yes, you need to be courageous enough meet your real self at this time. And if you do so, then off you go…There is no stopping you.
Breakfree and discover new limits. Remember, only the person who undergoes this process can make the discoveries…
Amanpreet Singh is the founder of Happy Realization. From the negatives of depression to the positives of meditation, he loves expressing his experiences and the practical life lessons which he calls his Happy Realizations. He is a guest blogger in esteemed publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain and Dumb Little Man.