Love and Relationships

How many times are you told by elders, friends and mentors to develop a positive attitude? Everyone instructs to do it, but only a few have directions on how to do it? What’s your attitude An attitude is a mindset developed over time, through experiences of resilience and observations about people and things.  It’s a predisposition to respond in a certain way, to both the known and unknown.  Simply, your attitude is your perspective towards life proceedings. It speaks a lot about you. Expressions ( often called as body language) is the indicator of your attitude towards people.  That doesn’t mean you should start dancing to them. Allow the real inside to roll your reel outside. And that’s why we need a positive attitude, to respond better in the now, so we unlock our desires, and dive into the flow of achieving them.  What's Positive Attitude? Positive attitude is Integrity —  honesty towards people and commitment to oneself.  The headspace where you are optimistic yet surrender to the present beyond control. It unleashes vibes of nothing to lose and experiences to gain, the approach that sets the spirit free to express your true self and unlock higher possibilities. Positive attitude is luxury you afford piercing comfort. It fosters with practice. Positive attitude is a mind zone where: people's thinking of you doesn't matter to you.  you trust instincts more than your compulsive thoughts. you believe everything will be ok no matter how hard it is right now. good for you includes good for people. there is self respect, no ego. success is just moving. lesson is the name of a failure. you believe no feeling is permanent, neither success nor failure, neither happiness nor sadness. beginning means almost done. you embrace negativity and bliss out to positivity. mind welcomes fear and accepts shortfalls gracefully. you are perseverant until you reach your goal. The headspace where your flowing presence entices everyone in the room is a positive attitude. Top Quotes on Attitude that Inspire “If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett “Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you.” ― Walt Whitman “I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right.” ― Muhammad Ali Jinnah “If you can quit, quit. If you can't quit, stop complaining - this is what you chose.” ― Joe Konrath “The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” — Oprah Winfrey “The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” — Louis E. Boone “An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.”  — Brian Tracy “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller 15 mindsets to develop a positive attitude Boils to Discipline when you Lack Motivation in Work Show up to work no matter how low you feel. Just showing up is half the job done. Begin your session with a 15 min exercise where you...

Do you fear friends or colleagues will find out you are not as worthy as they think? Or you feel your success (irrespective big or small) was a fluke and people will soon find out you are a fraud? Don't worry it's the Impostor Syndrome where you feel like a fraudulent, a pretender, a hoaxer (which you are not). Approximately 70 percent of people will experience at least one episode of impostor syndrome in their lives. What's Impostor Syndrome? Why is it vicious? Often spelled as Imposter, feeling an Impostor is incompetence to deal with your imperfections and perform at the highest standards you set for yourself. It’s like riding high on egomania while enjoying success and then sliding down to fear of being called a cheater or a fraud. You feel like a loser irrespective how successful you are. It makes you incapable to focus on your current work, living in obscurity, not opening up to new opportunities. Rewards and Recognition do more harm than good where you feel you cannot justify your credentials in the upcoming project, and you fear people will know about your incompetence. The feeling of an Impostor kills creativity where you are constantly self-judging. You are too hard on yourself overthinking about people’s opinion of you.  It retracts you from the present moment, discharging the concentration, denting your flow, and jolts your personal and professional growth.  The good news is that you are not alone! Celebrity quotes on Impostor Syndrome: When I was younger, I just did it. I just acted. It was just there. So now when I receive recognition for my acting, I feel incredibly uncomfortable. I tend to turn in on myself. I feel like an impostor. It was just something I did. —Emma Watson    Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud. —Kate Winslet   No matter what we've done, there comes a point where you think, 'How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me? —Tom Hanks     I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out. —Maya Angelou  My Encounter with Impostor Syndrome  Insightful publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain, Purpose fairy, Dumb Little Man published my articles. I received accolades for these, including some of my works published on my blog. Why am I bragging? The critic appreciation prod to deliver more, as I began expecting too much out of myself. I started fearing people’s eyes, thinking about them, all of it abstaining from workflow, diminishing my quality of work, questioning my talent and abilities. I could not write, unable to get rid of the perfectionist inside me self-judging constantly. My creativity fired many times, soon to nosedive into a polluted pool of uncertainties. I could not do love doing most — Expressing my thoughts and emotions. And that led to Impostor Syndrome where there were dilemmas and ambiguity, causing fear and my lower self cried: People will...

A lockdown for bodies, but minds still wandering... And this distance between mind and body — it’s turning the inevitable pain into self-made suffering. But that’s the downside!! Let’s talk about the upside... the positives through this period. Let’s try to experience these happy realizations: 1. Death connecting us to life People are dying everywhere. It provokes fear of death now and then at every heart, no different you and me. But amidst all these did you realize: We literally experienced our biggest fear Death sitting at home? Gracious we are alive!  Is there a bigger blessing? I don’t think so. Let’s celebrate life with a toast to breath as the biggest reason to smile. 2. Higher sensitivity towards poverty and hunger It’s not only about this lockdown when the poor are dying of hunger. Earlier, most of us could only sympathize. We could not take that one step further — to think about doing something for them. Why? Either shortage of time or our own lives in a turmoil. Now as we standstill, there are more volunteers to think about the poor. This lockdown has taken our sympathies to another level. And that’s wonderful! 3. Turning faces towards the real mirror — Self-awareness We are denied worldly experiences ongoing lockdown. But this phase made us dig deep within to feel ourselves.  The deeper we touch, the darker it feels!! But do you know the sunnier part? At least we are facing the real mirror! We are meeting ourselves everyday. We are knowing ourselves more! No matter beautiful or ugly reflects our face in the real mirror of self-awareness, we are experiencing the taste of our company. It is leading to self-acceptance — the foundation of self-love! 4. Inculcating a new interest Earlier we never got this length of me-time. With a lockdown of direct connections with the outside world, the sharpness of the mind has less to dissect. Maybe it’s time for the soul to reach a deeper dimension without self-judgments. Picking up that half-read old book from the shelf, Tuning-in the chords of the broken guitar, Scribbling emotions in our personal diary,  Pursuing the hobby left out of responsibility, Learning different meditation or yoga practices, Let it be anything that pulls our interest! Who knows, we discover an artist within who flares the life-spark rest of our lives. 5. Connection with smiling nature after decades  Neither money is having the last laugh nor the people. It’s nature smiling! We must feel happy for them.  After all this damage, it resurrected! The air turned cleaner; the tress became greener; the water got purer. Guess what? The renewed nature is blessing us with a healthy life! Do we really need anything else? I feel nothing can draw our interest more than getting richer with nature’s wealth. Let’s celebrate nature, preserve the wealth it’s bestowing! 6. Our battle is always in the inside We have been our comparing lives with people, competing against them. Conveniently we have been blaming them for all the wrong happening with us. But about this time, we are not against outside; we are exploring the truth: We have been battling against our illusions. And it is always about the inside! We are meeting our inner critic... the real audience. And it’s an original ball game altogether. No doubt the battle has got tougher but...

The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health? Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires? Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering? Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before? Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics? If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas. High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts. Let’s understand what’s cooking A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering. Like too much to take! And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition. The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted! Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now. To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period! What all of it is resulting to? Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity. I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine. And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark. I walked out in a better headspace! A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind. I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful. 4 Mindshifts for a better headspace A mere acceptance of your pain Human race is mourning to bereavement, Eyes around reflect deep down fears, Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death, Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never, Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,  Like everything brought to a standstill! Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world. You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out. The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety. But my dear friend... you need to realize: Not only you, your family, your city, or your country... It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now. So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal! Yes you need to accept this right now... Better said... you might wonder: How should I gracefully accept this change? Just acknowledge you are not battling alone. It's not only about you this time... we are in this together! This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain. It brings the acceptance you need! Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering. Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive! You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living. You got to feel grateful for this! You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness. If I ask you:  Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point? I think many of us would admit: Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did! If...

Do you only feel negative during this lockdown? With pain and helplessness all around, With your self-identity forced to switch roles, With a jolted normal for unpredictably long, The thought pop ups cannot be exciting. Infact most of them are negative... Relax... that's human! And it's not only your story. This is the first time we fall on the same page.  But maybe... this lockdown... most of us went all too far. Let's Address the Problem Fear... Dilemmas... Uncertainties... Anxiety... You are thinking too much about the future.  Overflowing thoughts drive you everywhere you don't want to reach. Now that lays the foundation of a quandary. Because when this unconscious flow of thoughts continues, it leads to mental diarrhea, which soon attacks your emotions.  Ahh... now that hurts! With thoughts already conflicting, this lockdown came up with another challenge... Managing emotions... a bigger task than managing mind. Do you know what's the result of mismanaged thoughts and emotions? Your crude feelings turn negative!! Once your feelings turn negative, no matter how hard you try, you cannot feel happy.  And that's what is happening to most of us.... sitting at homes... having nothing to do.  Bodies are locked down, but minds still wandering. Painful state this... densely negative!  The good news: We can get out of here. Let's talk about the revival now! How to Revive From State Where Feelings Turned Negative? Arrange a session You with Yourself where you are disconnected from the outside world.  No people, no cell phones, no distraction whatsoever... Start with a minimum of 30 min session whenever you get Time. Time... not a difficult thing to find during this lockdown... isn’t it? I agree some of my friends would get offended about that. And that's because there are many samaritans who volunteered to step out of their houses to serve people and nation in anyways. And there are also individuals who could not afford Me time as they were, and still are busy with their household chores. But I must say, sacrifice that 30 min of sleep even if you have to, but during this lockdown, everyone needs that session, that session of self-introspection. So what do you do in that session? Do nothing different! Quitely get back to basics... Remind yourself that everything started with your mind... overflowing with negative thoughts... for an extended period. And that's what touched the depth of feelings. So to revive your positive feelings, you need to get back to your thoughts. Go for it! Just sit comfortably, preferably with closed eyes, and observe your thoughts coming and leaving. Don't pay attention to any. Allow them to pass by. Stop participating.... stop involving with any thought... even the ones you call positive.              We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. — Buddha Why do you stop paying attention to positive thoughts? You might be wondering: No attention to negative thoughts... sounds logical! But why should I stop paying attention to positive thoughts? Because that's a ploy. That's deliberate from the mind to convince you to interact with thoughts. So that you hook to it... and finally get carried away by the flow of it. It's a mind's...

According to Collins dictionary, Nature is all the animals, plants, and other things in the world that are not made by people, and all the events and processes that are not caused by people. (I'll be denoting Nature by They, Them, Their... Just cannot confine nature into a box of It.) Let’s meet Nature Nature is super-expressive! Since ages, they are trying hard to express: Pain during ruthless slaughtering, Misery in feeding pollutants, Suffering after a sudden human attack, Yes that’s what nature had to share. Because that’s what we... the most intelligent creatures on this planet... had been offering to them... in our own filthy ways. Cruel We ... who didn’t bother listening to nature shouts in pain inflicted by us. We could not sense those tears; We had no feelings for them in our consciousness. We murdered them for our luxuries; burnt them for money. We went unconscious of their existence, unaware that our existence is superficial without the creator — Nature! You might wonder: Why am I told this? Why am I forced to realize all of it? Well the whole purpose of saying this is: If that’s the ugly past you want to forget, guess what... you got this opportunity! It’s time you can break that equation, and start afresh chemistry with nature. Because nature just forgot ages of brutality by us during this pandemic. Nature revived without long-due revenge! Nature resurrected! Nature is back to the old school smiles! So time to get back to the present and embrace this undeserved opportunity. It’s important we connect with nature now... when they are all smiles! Never was a better time we could feel free from this guilt... the guilt of causing so much harm to them. It’s time we feel happy with them, for them! Just to remind you, nature was never helpless. If they would take long-due revenge, the entire human race could be sacrificed. That’s how much damage we did to them. But guess what... nothing as such happened... And nature we never met... sounds familiar! Call it luck, fate, destiny, anything, but make sure you accept this as a blessing! That human lockdown led to nature's independence! Indirectly adding more generations to the human race. All mediums of pollution are at rest. And the: fresh air, clear skies, whirling trees, gushing winds, chirping birds, they are all back. It’s a huge offering from nature who was hit brutally hard by us. So come on mate… We always complained about limited time. We were unconscious of their cries then. But about now...during this lockdown... Let us not miss this... to listen to nature expressing joy! Well if you are wondering... How do I interact with nature? Let me remind you there’s an unconscious breath transaction always on between you are the greens outside. Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... lifetime transaction... till your last breath! And now let me ask you: The fact that life is lifeless without breath, and breath connects humans to nature, Is this not enough to create an involvement? I feel... Acknowledging this simple fact has enough reasons to develop a beautiful bond with the creator — Nature! If you could feel this mind shift, you could experience life over mental and emotional barriers. Your ego goes for a toss, as you...

Have you been hunting for ways to transform into a happier self? It is time to call shots and make some big changes in life.  Well, little did you know but creating a happy bubble around you is easy-peasy. The secret lies in unleashing the potential in you so that you become your best version. Kiss goodbye to anxiety because happiness is not hard-found. Being happy is easier than you think.  So, are you great at chalking out plans and strategies but not quite efficient in implementing them? No problem! Digging into the best of self-improvement books can help you rule out every little hurdle, standing in the way of you and a good life. Believe it or not but self-help books work like magic. Taking cues from the insights shared by the greatest minds in the world, reading lines that are inspiring and healing and getting a hang of simple, developmental exercises, the perks of engaging in self-improvement books are way more than you can imagine.  Wondering where to start? Don’t worry because here’s a curated list of 10 best self-improvement books of 2020 Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert If you’ve been dreaming of taking pleasure in a fairytale life, Big Magic is a must-read. The author has splendidly jotted down stories, spilling beans about her experiences with magic and creativity. Read more to find out what makes her life so much happy and fulfilling. Buy Now Here - Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear   Time Management Secrets by Martin Manser Do you struggle to execute a job perfectly when your plate is too full? Well, Time Management Secrets is a winning aid for you. Explore the fundamentals of time management and give your career the much-needed wings. Read about the ways of strategizing and recognizing your priorities. The book includes priceless words of wisdom from experts in business circles. Learn the ropes of necessary work ethics, analyze the importance of communication and every other knick-knack, important to hit the easy-street.  Buy Now Here : Time Management: Collins Business Secrets   Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis Is your life topsy-turvy? Well, Rachel Hollis is here to tell you that it is okay to have a messy life. However, to make it a joyful space and make life a smooth-sailing, one must get over the bait of procrastinating and lying to oneself. It is a big hurdle that does a lot of damage. Girl Wash Your Face is a book that enlightens you about the 20 odd lies, people love telling themselves to procrastinate and hold back.  Buy Now Here : Girl, Wash Your Face   Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes Shonda Rimes is not an unknown name if you loved to binge-watch shows like ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ The book is not a fancy tenement of tricks and tips for a better life. Instead, Rimes highlights the changes she witnessed after she said ‘YES’ for a year. It is a chronicle of episodes that only got better when she started nodding ‘YES’ for everything in life. Her...

1st Dec 2016- the date when God sent a beautiful angel into my life. Every action, each emotion of that day is still crystal clear in my mind. A night before, my wife, Gurdeep did not feel convincing movements inside the womb. Though it was not something unusual, but as her pregnancy had crossed a little over thirty-six weeks, we rushed to the doctor the very morning.  The doctor advised an ultrasound, and the report revealed that the umbilical cord had got entangled around the baby’s neck. There was nothing to worry about, but it was an obvious cesarean case now.  The doctor left up to us to decide the day of operation- today or tomorrow. While Gurdeep wanted to postpone it to tomorrow, I could not wait for an hour, a minute, not even a second. There were a couple of reasons I was pushing for today: I could not handle the swing of emotions- from one point towards dilemmas and apprehensions to another point towards excitement and joy. 2. I had a special inclination towards the date, as I was also born on the 1st, it doesn’t matter a different month. Yes, that’s how deep I was feeling every emotion. So somehow, I convinced her, and finally, we decided the D-day to be today. Time was crawling like a snail that day, and after testing every drop of patience, eventually the anticipated moment arrived when she was taken inside the OT. I was allowed in there, my heart pumping faster than ever. But I knew I had to remain calm to embrace her, shower warmth, divert her mind, deceive her with no glimpse of fear, no sign of nervousness. While I was busy engaging her in conversations, never did I realize when that moment came….and… wow… what… Goosebumps… I just saw the doctor pulling out my child. And it looked like a horrific miracle. Time literally paused, I went numb, gradually making way for the tears of happiness rolling out of my eyes. The only time I was delighted to see my daughter cry was the first time she did.  Nirvana is about 3 years old now, and with each passing day, I love her more. But apart from my growing love, I recently developed a huge respect for her.  Never did I thought a 3-year-old-daughter could teach such profound lessons to a 30-year-old-father. Lesson no 1- Express out whatever you feel—positivity and negativity Nirvana never holds back to express whatever she feels, and this makes her a beautiful soul. Her emotions inside, and its expressions outside, are faithful to each other. When she is happy-she laughs, hugs, kisses, changing the family atmosphere from whatever to happiness. But more than that, what I like about her is she never holds back in venting out every negative emotion. She cries, yells at the top of her voice when she dislikes anything. Till recently, I used to get very agitated, called it her unruly behavior.  But one late night, while I was sitting alone, reviving memories from an observer’s eyes, Nirvana looked a beautiful person-...

The first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night is the same… any guesses? No prizes for the right answer because it’s a no-brainer. Most of us pick up the phone and check for the social media notifications.  The word ‘viral’ once used to describe a fever has a new dimension altogether. Today, it is more of a prefix to social media posts than a fever. No wonder, social media has become an addiction, it’s not a necessity anymore. Please don’t justify the social media addictions. You call it a necessity but the bitter truth is you pick up the phone to check... the likes and comments on your last updated picture. what others have to say about themselves. the friend requests and friend suggestions. to barge into others’ profiles particularly of your ex’s. Most of the times, there is no reason you are on social media platforms. You had nothing to do, so just for a pastime, you keep scrolling down and down. The most suitable time you have found for doing it is sitting on the commode. Let me tell you... there is not much difference between the two addictions... a cigarette in hand and a phone in hand while sitting on a commode. The only difference is that the cigarette reduces the potty-release time, while a phone keeps you glued to the commode. Hmm... now you are relating better! Many of us go for a potty-ride not because it’s the potty calling, it’s the social media notifications calling. And what better, isolated, and a comfortable seat than a commode where there is no one to disturb.  Who knows... a social-media-call gives way to a bowel-call, and it solves both the purposes. I’m not joking, it is happening with most of us.   Time for some bitter ironies: You are killing your precious time looking for friend suggestions on social media while a close friend is sitting beside you seeking your attention.  You are busy building a new relationship on social media without realizing that social media is hampering your existing relationships.  And please don’t say you are on social media to get the news updates. Most of the social media posts do not have an authentic source you can trust upon. Most of the news which you read on social media is propaganda, far away from reality. An instance... You get disturbed by the post topic reading the news of killings and rapes you come across while scrolling posts. The irony is you still click on that post to read the entire story. And when you feel helpless because you could not convert your feeling of empathy into compassion, you get hurt. Your mind carries the burden of that news for an elongated period. I know many people who get affected by such news so deeply that they cannot move on. And in some cases, it may go beyond leading to depression!!! Yes, gluing to social media may also lead to depression. But is that burden of helplessness worth carrying? Is your social media reel depicting the real picture?  No, it’s not... it...

And here she begins... You opted to grow up but I opted to remain a child... I preferred to stay the same but you loved the change. You know why? Because the change was for your good, not mine. I can understand that you were ambitious enough to lash onto every opportunity but how could you when the foundation of it was my failure? You did not realize that your success ladder was not wide enough that we climbed together. But you never looked back to check whether I was behind.  You know... I was all ears in your struggling times. I made you run when you could not stand. I gave you a purpose to fight when you were on the brink of losing. I literally gave you life when you were on the verge of a suicide. Now how could you glow your candle without realizing that it was my wax which is burning? How could you move on leaving me behind? How could you take a stride when either of your shoes was not mine? How did you clap when either of your hands was not mine? I know you are not good at expressing love but then how were you so good at expressing the bitterness? You doubted my reciprocation emphasizing that I changed. You said I don’t love you anymore... You were not completely wrong because you didn’t deserve it anymore. Yes, both of us wanted a bigger house, but it is you who forgot that... The bigger the house, The longer The distance between the rooms. You forgot that the foundation of a healthy relationship is respect, and not always love!!! You cursed my anger and frustration but never realized it was my pain shouting at you.  You said you don’t see a smile; I say you didn’t see my tears... You called me possessive and insecure but I say it was love. You spoke to get heard but about my words...they sought attention, but your ears called them trespassers. I know you found my fault and I found yours... And maybe neither of us was wrong and the situation was guilty. But you know what, you were never ready to be tested in those situations.  No, you were not a liar either but the problem was you were brutally honest. I took pride in calling you ‘my man’ but you turned out to be more of a man with fewer emotions. I am sure you never cheated on me with other women but does that make you loyal? Sorry I deny because you stopped looking at me either. I’m sure you never slept with other women but why did you stop sleeping with me? It was our mutual decision that I conceive. The decision which once looked beautiful seems ugly now. You know why? Because I am the one who has to live with that decision, not you. Yes, I am still facing the wrath to conceive that decision. Abortion was your solution, but it was ‘your solution to your insecurities.’ If you ask me which you never did, it was a heinous crime. Society... we never cared about, but I never realized that...