Tag: letter from depressed to depressed

Is your mind crumbling under the pressure to deliver for your loved ones? Are you choking for breath under the fear of society and relationships judging your every move? Is your unworthy job or shaming unemployment raising serious allegations on your capabilities, and you cannot get over your self-judgments? Or maybe you have everything you desire, but there's still a void, an emptiness obscuring the clarity, and the gray follows where you have no answers to your monkey mind. If you are any of the many of us, exhale out your loneliness as it's not only your story.  And we don’t have to commit suicide to get ourselves heard. Yes I used the word Suicide because this is how far depressive thoughts take us sometimes, till the edge of an end.  I promise we shall overcome it together. How does depression feel like?  Although there are different types of depression, I'll try to express that generic feeling in depression I encounter in bouts at uncertain intervals. In my experience, depression feels like: someone is sitting inside my head constantly judging.  a burden to live for the people who are toying with my emotions to fulfill their undue expectations. a loser who never was, and will never be worthy enough. a rat who wants to hide in a hole where society can’t see. pain is endless suffering. Even if there is no reason to feel sad, I cannot find any reason to feel happy. The quandary elevates further where feelings enter the void and there are no expressions at all. That's when I’m convinced the life on the other side is better. Ouch! it hurts to accept this, but that’s how the face of depression looks like in the form of prolonged sorrow turning on the gloominess where joy seems beyond reach. Trails of recovery in broken pieces This is an interesting detail of what happened after an intense suicidal thought. In the silence of the dark, when I thought it's all over, there was a flash of nostalgic memories sending a cool breeze to the face of divine soul.  I felt absolute peace ever While eying death as close, my stress, fear, anxiety, sorrow, suffering, possessions, identifications, all suddenly dropped completely. It was the lightest I ever felt.  I don't know how, but a wave grew out of the blue that swept all the temporary dwellings, each false projection of mind. I sensed freedom, and that provoked a nothing-to-lose attitude that was ready to accept the now and welcome the new. Now I was not wandering unconsciously inside the illusionary boundaries of mind. There was a will to taste every challenge without a drop of complacency. I was singing on the rocks, dancing in the mountains, so to speak. I was feeling my soul beyond thoughts and emotions. It was an experience where I was celebrating my breaths like a comeback from something as devastating as a suicidal thought. I was feeling it, the inhales, and the exhales, sinking deeper with each conscious breath. Yes the power of now was magical as everything was flowing effortlessly then and there. Those moments transpired a recovery. Unlike before, I don't live in the smugness of realized...