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When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative.  Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations? Why do you expect and from whom do you expect? In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation. Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish. Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection. Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations. The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations? The never-ending expectation process: Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day. Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people. You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them. In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.  Let me bombard a few questions on you... If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations? Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it. Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong. Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...

Let us fathom a  difference among sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Sympathy is to feel sorry for others’ misfortunes, to feel pity for someone’s pain and plight. When you raise the level of sympathy feeling what others are going through, it is Empathy. Empathy is a more intense feeling than sympathy where you sense the pain of others by stepping into their shoes. If empathy is to feel the pain of others by stepping into their shoes, Compassion is to walk wearing those shoes. It is the conversion of feelings into action, doing something to relieve their pain. As it comes: You are fortunate if you can sympathize. Others' plight does not affect everyone. Kudos! Humanity prevails within you. But is it enough? No, it's not. With sympathy comes responsibility, responsibility to convert those feelings into actions. Sympathy only cannot solve their problems.  My dear friend, sympathy leading to empathy, and empathy leading to compassion is a process, which must be completed. It may not be possible every time but trust me, it is possible most of the times. You can always extend either your tangible or intangible support. Let us assume two instances from daily life, one seeking tangible support and the other seeking intangible support. Let’s find out whether you are sympathetic, empathetic or compassionate? The instance seeking your intangible support... Not only you are surrounded by life but also death surrounds you. Let's be practical. Someone known to you dies once in a while. And in this situation, feeling sympathetic about the loss sitting at your home is not doing any good to the ones who lost their loved one. If you feel bad about it, go to them and express your sympathy. Trust me, even a few encouraging words is an act of compassion here. It is because this is the best you can do in this situation. No one can overturn this unfavorable situation. But what you can offer here is your intangible support. Never refrain from showing up to people experiencing these situations. Sink into the mind that people acknowledge your face in a funeral more than in a celebration. If they are facing it today, it can be you tomorrow. If you need shoulders, offer a shoulder first. The instance seeking your tangible support... You see an old disabled person; worn clothes, as skinny as a rail, helplessly lying down on the roadside. Instinctively, you feel sympathy towards him. ‘Cruel life,’ you mutter to yourself. A few thoughts of kindness follow your ongoing feelings. Dear friend... You are right until now. But the problem is you change thereon… You start putting allegations as per your convenience… on God, destiny, government, country, people, and so on. Ironically, you blame everyone for their plight except yourself. You feel lighter because you think you bailed yourself out of that situation. Sorry but to say the least, you step back at the action time. It is the same case when you want the street drains clean after throwing garbage inside it. Next day, you come across the other incident of the same genre and repeat the same process. Sorry but this is happening with...

The more you search for peace in the outside world, the more you get lost. Like happiness, finding peace is an inside job which has nothing to do with the outside world. It resides within you. To find peace, you first need to target the problems restricting you from attaining peace. The Problems: The elevated anxiety and stress level is the first problem, which is not allowing you to focus on anything. It is leading to overthinking and the peace of mind is being denied.  The second problem is the flickering mind, which is not allowing you to focus on a particular thing at a time. It is leading to imperfections and the peace of mind cannot be attained. Both the problems are not allowing you to ‘Focus’ and ‘Focus’ is the first step to peace-attainment. The Solution: To acquire focus of mind, it is vital to explore your inner world. Meditation is the driver of the self-exploration journey. For a soothing journey, start with conscious breathing which is the easiest way to enter into the powerful world of meditation. Spend some alone time, a preferably early morning where you concentrate on the breaths to take you further and deeper inside you. It is simple to start with and does not require any particular set of skills. The conscious deep breath makes you aware in the present moment. You start feeling and enjoying the now. Consequently, mind’s level of focus increases and the frequency of thoughts is reduced. Finally, the stress and anxiety levels are reduced and the peace of mind is attained. It comes gradually so you need to be patient initially. But once you taste its magical feel, it is the first thing you shall crave for every morning. Playing an instrument, exercising, forgiving, gratitude and compassion are a few approaches to keep your mind peaceful. But again, unless you are focused, the cultivation of these practices can be difficult. Why is the peace of mind important:       - Key to real happiness.       - Enables you to distinguish between the right and the wrong.       -Keeps you away from materialistic desires.       - Helps you maintain the balance between the inner world and the outside world.       - Assists you tackle the panic and unforeseen situations calmly.      - Aids you to carry out the daily life operations distressfully.      - Teaches you patience which is vital to success.       - Keeps you away from over-thinking.       - Enables you to enjoy the present moment.    

Let us take a dig at every element of feeling embarrassed one by one... What is Embarrassment? Embarrassment is the feeling of awkwardness felt publicly or socially. This awkwardness is because of a sudden awakening of self-consciousness when you get the unwanted attention from people. Yes, the element 'people' is an obvious element attached to feeling embarrassed. It is not realized by oneself unless others make you realize the awkwardness. Feeling embarrassed is completely different from feeling ashamed which is a self-realization. Feeling embarrassed is a public bearing while feeling ashamed is a private bearing. Your embarrassment is a fun or a victory moment for others, not for you. Please do one thing... Trigger your thinking mode and try to recall an instance when you got embarrassed. Ask yourself whether you would have felt the same if it would have happened when you were alone? Hmmm...now you are getting closer to unlock the mysteries of feeling embarrassed.  Let us assume an instance: You are on stage delivering a speech in front of a huge crowd. After your speech is over and just when you are about to step down, your feet stumble and you fall down. It's an awkward moment for you. But remember, you do not feel embarrassed till now. Now what happens is that everyone starts laughing at you.  As a result of this reaction of people, your conscious mind feels the awkwardness, which starts reflecting in your facial expressions and body language. Finally, you feel embarrassed.  Now, let us assume the same incident when you are rehearsing and no one is around... In this case, there is no one to judge you. There is no one to joke and laugh at you. And so, your self-consciousness is not aroused. As a result, either you ignore it or you laugh it off...Finally, you don't feel embarrassed. A keen observation: The element ‘people’ is the determining factor in both the assumptions.   But beware, I am not referring to the instances of embarrassment in which you are wrong or guilty. I am pointing out the silly moments which don't deserve to be a cause of your suffering. When you are actually wrong and you get caught publically, you will be insulted and humiliated. And remember, humiliation cuts even deeper than the embarrassment. Guilty instance 1: You cheat on your wife and you get caught. Guilty instance 2: Your lie gets caught publically. In both the instances, you actually are the culprit and be ready to face the wrath. The wrath, which will be far more than just an embarrassment. You can call it a humiliation. Maybe, an immediate apology could be an escape from the situation. But I am sorry, I cannot comment much on these situations.  Let us not divert from the topic. We can talk about humiliation, maybe in one of my upcoming articles. As of now, let us focus on the how to stop feeling embarrassed. Heartfelt Realizations: My dear friend, I don't think that people are to be blamed for your embarrassments. They are not waiting for the moments to laugh at you, make fun of you. But if...

Most of us do not train our minds to accept: An unfriendly situation. A self-imperfection. First of all, let us comprehend ‘an unfriendly situation.’ Time is not always favorable to us. Sometimes, when situations are hostile to us, what most of us do is try to avoid the situation or run away from the problem. We don't talk about it now. We don’t want to face it and hence, we try to overlook it. Now, let us try to understand ‘a self-imperfection.’ Nobody is perfect. We all are the effigy of imperfections and yes, there is nothing wrong in it. Nonetheless, how many of us have the courage to accept it? Trust me, only a few. Always remember that being imperfect is not a concern, the problem is the un-readiness of our minds to accept it. Whether it is an unfriendly situation or a self-imperfection, is the denial mode solution to our troubles? I am sorry but we are elevating our problems all by ourselves. Denying the fact that we are facing a problem is an invitation to other troubles. Always remember, how fast and how far we try to run away from an unfriendly situation or a self-imperfection, it will catch up with us soon. This time around, its intensity will be so strong that it will be virtually impossible for us to deal with it. A situation will arise in which neither we will be able to face it, nor we will be able to avoid it. Finally, we will never be able to move out of it. Let us understand it with the help of illustrations. Example 1 You are chit-chatting with your friends. Suddenly, one of them initiates a discussion about politics. Others too plunge into the discussion.  Say, you are the only one who is not updated in politics and you insist them to change the topic. The matter of fact here is you are getting bored because you are not proficient in expressing your views on the particular subject. However, the reason you give for it, ‘Politics is not an interesting subject’. Here, you are avoiding the fact that you are not acquainted with politics, which is the actual reason you are not finding it interesting. Still, you are not accepting it. Example 2 You appeared in 5 exams. You performed well in all subjects except mathematics. Subsequently, you begin to put allegations like the mathematics paper was lengthy. Yes, sometimes you also say that the course was out of syllabus. Again, instead of accepting the fact that you need to work on mathematics, you opt for the denial mode. Example 3 You get into an altercation with your loved one where you give a rude reply. You also raise your voice intensely during the conversation. Instead of accepting that you quickly get angry on petty issues, you put the blame on him/her. Again, you avoid the cause of the problem when you very well know deep down inside that you are wrong. Example 4 You go to a formal together where people were mostly talking to each other...

My dear friend, you need to see the bright side of things no matter what. The desired outcome will occur only when you believe it to happen. Creating a shadow of doubt means questioning your ability. Never waste your time counting the possibility of the chances. Just do it. If it is possible, it will happen. Even if it's not, surely, it will make you experienced. Rest assured, you never lose in any of the conditions. Summon into minds; You cannot turn into a pessimist overnight. A single situation is not mighty enough to convert you into a pessimist unless you reciprocate the same feeling for that particular situation. I shall explain to you how... A few instances... Say, you failed in an exam or lost a sports match or suffered a business loss. Other instances, you did not qualify a job interview, or you did not get the desired appreciation, or maybe a decision proving wrong, and much such life hitches. The subsequent process: These life-situations infuse a negative thought inside your mind. In due course, one negative thought triggers your over-thinking mode, wherein you keep on thinking of that loss/failure. Suddenly, it starts reflecting in your attitude. By and by, you begin to criticize people and blame your destiny for anything unfavorable to you. You start thinking that you are worthless, which converts into a firm belief. You feel that you cannot win or succeed. Eventually, you develop a mindset where you begin to find failures even in your success, Yes, even if there is no reason to feel stressed, you try to find one. Even if you feel happy, you believe it to be an illusion. You keep on losing thereon and eventually turn into a pessimist. You know pessimists do have a unique ability... It is the ability to find a problem even in a solution. They do not breathe free or break free. They get caged in their world full of wrong beliefs and negativity. They do not want to expand the boundaries of their comfort zone because of their apprehensions. They fear anything and everything and where there is fear, your approach to situations can never be positive. Yes, pessimists try to find out problems rather than finding solutions. Time for some Happy Realizations... No wonder, life hits you hard. It is full of uncertainties and unpredictabilities. Situations will not always be favorable to you. You cannot always control losses,  failures, mishaps or misfortunes. Nevertheless, you are the in-charge of how to perceive those situations. What matters the most is how you accept it and deal with it. The approach and the mindset in these situations distinguish between an optimist and a pessimist. That reminds of a quote from a movie sequel of Rocky, in which Sylvester said: “Life is not about how hard you can hit, but how much you can get hit and still keep moving forward.”  Yes, you just have to be optimistic. You can never know what is in the store for you unless you try to find it. All things in perspective; your positive...

Success and failure are brothers from different mothers. You try hard but the end result is not always in your favor. It is the time when people start judging you and even ask for justifications for your downfall or failure. Straight out, you need to appreciate the fact that your actions were inspired by none other than you. You did what you felt was right. People who can accept and understand it will agree to it. They will always back your decision. On the other hand, those who disagree; your hundreds of justifications will be in vain. Trust me, it is impossible to clarify your actions to everybody. People perceive what they want to as per their convenience and understanding. Moreover, why do you need to give justifications for your committed actions? A decision taken can have both the conditions possible. Either it will be right or it will be wrong. Be brave enough to take the responsibility of any condition. Why are you giving justifications to others and authorizing them to take a call on your decision? Also, the definition of right and wrong vary from person to person. Subsequently, neither it is possible nor it is your responsibility to make everyone happy. You don’t owe any justifications to anyone except to your time. Obliging others with your justifications is a big question on your self-belief and self-importance. Therefore, it is entirely your responsibility to take a stand for your actions. Always be loyal to your time as you cannot predict how much you have. Do things what the time demands and not what the people demand. It is the justification for your time, not people, which eases your life journey.      

Most of you are familiar with the proverb “A jack of all cards but master of none.” But do you know it's in-depth meaning? Let us sink in deep into its connotation to connect with this article intensely. Customarily, this proverb is used to signify people who have some knowledge in many fields but do not have expertise in a specific domain. More often than not, people use this proverb sarcastically. It is more of a taunt to tell you that you are good for nothing. Yes, this proverb is used by others to demean you intentionally. It is quite a negative connotation of this proverb and in this post, we shall try to explore the positive side of it... My personal realizations: There was a time when I used to get extremely demotivated by this proverb. I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was facing some serious difficulties in discovering my domain of passion. It was the phase when people used to shoot this proverb at me the most. These people were no one but my so-called loved ones. My ears got tired of listening to it. They used to tell it casually, never realized the intensity I got affected by it. You know why I used to get hurt so badly? It is because somewhere I knew they were not wrong by saying so. It felt like someone is rubbing salt in my open wounds, and I am bound to bear it. I could sense this proverb pointing fingers at me and saying “ You are a loser.”  I started feeling depressed. It is because there wasn’t any field in which I could feel that I am the best. One morning I sensed that overthinking has started taking a toll on my mental health. I realized that before it entirely ruins my mental health, I need to alter my outlook towards life. I started to meditate, which was not easy initially. I kept on practicing it daily. Gradually, I started enjoying it. I sensed my way of thinking change and began to feel optimistic. One day when I was meditating, I fathomed a realization. It made me feel positive, energetic and excited. It was nothing but the positive connotation of the proverb “A jack of all cards and master of none,” which shouted: “A jack of all cards can compete with four kings.” The connotation of  "A jack of all cards can compete with four kings" Even if you have little knowledge in every field, it implies you have all the choices available to explore the domain which pulls your interest the most. Of course, you would find many people better than you in every field. But if you are a jack of all cards, surprisingly, it means all the choices are available to you. It can turn out to be a blessing in disguise for you. You don't need to do anything special. You just need to have a positive mindset. You just have to explore your inside and target the right field, which you have been neglecting till...

Allow me to begin the write-up with a small story. It will enable you to understand and connect with the realizations better. It is just a conventional yet striking conversation inside the dressing room between the Captain and the Vice-Captain of a cricket team. To boot, the lesson learned from it is astounding. A gripping conversation: Captain: I don’t know, I am a bit confused whether I should bat at my usual batting position or should I bat next immediately after the fall of a wicket? Singh, who is customary to bat next is a not a very comfortable against spin. The previous two wickets which have fallen are of the spinner. Moreover, I think I can handle the spinners and the pressure better than him. Vice-Captain: Then, go for it captain. Who is stopping you? Trust your instincts. Stand by your self-belief. Captain: I discussed it with the coach. He does not seem to agree with me. He does not want any change in the batting line-up. My performance in the entire series has not been satisfactory. It is a very big reason why he is not backing up my decision. Vice-Captain: (Smiles). Captain, you are my idol. In fact, you are an idol for the entire team. You make everyone proud when it comes to making independent decisions on and off the field. Not many are convinced when you take an unorthodox independent decision. However, all the critics are answered after the result of the game, which is most of the times in our favor. It is your self-belief, which makes things happen. The entire team looks up to you when we get stuck in a panic situation. You have never allowed the temperature of the dressing room rise. You have provided the best of answers to others’ question. Having said that, I am sorry, but I am shocked to observe the uncertainty in your eyes right now. Why this uncertainty captain? You already have the answers to your questions. You can read the game better than anybody else in the team. Why are you not able to listen and abide by the answers to your questions? How can you allow just a poor performance in one series fade out your self-belief? How can you allow the coach to answer your questions, when you already have the answers? On top of that, you know that your answers are right. One more thing Captain, suppose you acknowledge the coach’s decision and if it proves to be wrong, we will either lose the best captain or a good coach. Yes, we will no longer be able to look up to you when it comes to making tough decisions in the way we used to. Also, neither you will ask the coach for the valuable inputs nor the coach will be able to extend his best support. Indeed, we have coaches and mentors who help us, assist us, and guide us. Nevertheless, we must never let them define us. Captain: Thank you for the advice brother. Now, I can...

Straight out, it is your way of looking at things and people. Negativity is only the one side of the coin. Yes, there could be many things happening around you that you don’t like. In fact, there are two set of things leading to negativity... Things happening around you, which can be seen by everyone... Every another day, you read the newspapers or scroll down on facebook to find out about the brutal crimes, the freaking accidents, the untimely demises, the deadly diseases, the uprooting poverty and many such incidents to affect you adversely for quite some time. Things happening inside you, which can only be seen by you... It is good to be self-aware but yes, you may not always look beautiful when you see yourself in the mirror. And when you don't do something about the same, it infuses elements fuelling negativity. Those elements are jealousy, comparison with others, pervert thoughts, materialistic addiction, self-harming thoughts and so on. Interestingly, there is a sub-category in this aspect. And this category is negativity because of expectations. Always remember that expectations from people and of people, both infuses negativity. It is because sometimes the expectations are fulfilled and sometimes not. And when the expectations fail because of betrayals, broken trusts or failures, it's by-product feeling induces negativity. If are not a victim of it yet, keep sailing the way you are. And if you have gone through it, not a problem either. The only thing is that you learned it the hard way. The good thing about these things happening to you is that it teaches you the best of life lessons, if you are ready to perceive it that way. The worst part... When you cannot stop and change the wrong happenings, it leads to negativity. See, there are different kinds of people living on this planet. All are different and somewhere that is the cause of stability as well. If you ask me how to get rid of it... You cannot change the course of nature. Everything is not under your control. But yes, you are fully in control of the things happening around you and inside you. And if something is happening wrong, be aware of it and take the responsibility of changing it. Nonetheless, what you can do is see the other side of the coin; THE POSITIVE SIDE. There could also be people who love you. There could be many things and situations which are favorable to you. There could be your credentials and achievements, which might give you a sense of pride and self-motivation. Friends, why are you not able to feel and realize it? The reason could be you are too busy sniffing the negativity than to count your blessings. What else you can do is start expressing your negativity in any form, be it by speaking out, writing, exercising, be it any form as you look. But never retain it inside. You know, expressing negativity in any form is also your deliberate attempt to convert your negativity into positivity. Time for some Practical Realizations...  Look, the ideal conditions are not...