A hell lot is happening… both inside and around. Buckets of tears sinking through the basin drain, not even a drop could find a wiping hand.
But that’s an incomplete beginning.
Because it’s not only about pain…
You could find no one who feels your bundle of joy the same way. No one with whom you could share your happy tales.
The loudest cry and your purest smile- Both could not find recipients
The situation is:
Feelings… you wish to express, Experiences… you thrive to share.
But every word is still unsaid.
I’m calling the ones, who just like me, could not unleash their true self to everyone.
Why is your real self dying inside? What’s stopping?
In case you don’t know:
People belong to three distinct spheres. And it’s an art to choose, and then express to the ones who deserve to meet the real you.
Are you playing the perfect protagonist in every sphere? Or are you just unveiling your literal emotions everywhere?
The three spheres surrounding the beautiful you:
Looks weird huh… the sequence, but don’t worry that’s deliberate. I’ll address those people at last I want to talk about the most.
Let’s meet the different, yet connected classifications of people around
Materialism is the essence of this sphere. Like-minded, money-driven people, all brains sans any emotional quotient.
There’s a single agenda here- ‘Money’. Only a thing is calculated here- ‘Money’.
‘Money’ is the rider here- the talk of the town.
‘A bitter self-centered individual’ is my identity here- courtesy people from the same environment. No excuses but I had no choice, as existence here once reached the threshold of my survival.
So typical professional environment where sometimes you have to keep quiet, sometimes shout out loud, even if your inner world has a contradictory story to share.
It’s an environment where there can’t be long conversations, no emotional spread for people’s breakfast. Discrepancies here and there, and you’ll only find predators.
You won’t deny:
We maintain a certain level of diplomacy in the professional environment, after all, it’s a game of thrones.
This environment is unapologetically mind-driven where you cannot establish connection between souls.
Quite clearly, we cannot express out your inside stories here in the professional environment.
Personally, I dislike being a part of it. I call it a groundless environment where everyone wears a mask, keeping each identity an illusion.
It’s dirty, it’s nasty, where everyone is misjudging everyone based on a bias they’ve defined: ‘Status’
Building stronger networking and influential contacts define power here.
I personally found abnormalities with people here:
- They talked less with me, gossiped more about me
- They knew more about me than I do
- They defined my appearance, and everyone was wrong
The curiosity to know more about others, sneak-peak into people’s lives, barging in just to hurt deliberately- these are some traits of people here, making it more vicious, more difficult to comprehend.
It’s gaining dominance, and with the topping of social media, it’s growing exponentially.
With the real identities hidden, people are turning actors. Shockingly, not just here, the drama continues everywhere. People are not recognizing themselves anymore.
There’s hypocrisy… all flukes and fakes, which unfortunately has become the elementary need of that sphere.
One thing in mind, another on face, unknown at heart- well that’s social environment for you.
Of course, you cannot flush out heartfelt feelings here in the social environment.
More than anything, it is polluting the atmosphere of the environment I’m concerned about the most- Your personal environment.
Oh yes… time has come to meet the most beautiful people surrounding you.
It’s the environment occupying maximum time of your day, most parts of your life.
Family, friends, anyone close to your heart – only soulful connection reside here.
It’s your support system built up of people who really care about your existence.
You just have to stretch your hand out here, to soon find anyone holding it.
But are you finding difficult to express your originality even here in the personal environment?
Are you real to the people here or it has just become another theatre for you?
Diplomacy, chronic judgments, that joker mask - all persisting in the personal environment too?
Well, if you have reached a stage where this conversation hurts:
The bitter truth is you are stuck deep down.
But the beautiful truth is you will resurrect!!
Let’s revive together…
About me… At one point, the professional-social duo was consuming a lot of my time. So I had to keep wearing that deceptive mask for unusually longer.
In that subconscious flow, I forgot to remove that mask in the sphere which doesn’t need it.
I was not true… not to people, not to myself. It started ruining relationships I cared about the most – my personal ones.
I cannot blame them but there was a time when I did.
I over-expected from them to feel my words I never called out.
Well if this has been your life’s cover story too:
We need to know that everyone is enduring in their own life battle. It’s already tough out there. Fighting their individual battles alone already makes them real heroes. They need not prove anything else.
And above that, no one is superhuman to read every germination in other’s minds.
So for us to revive from here, let us accept a simple fact:
We need to devote time to the personal environment to know them well. Because only then, we will respect the differences, and appreciate each other’s struggle.
Let us go with the flow and express… just let the soul speak.
So yes, I suggest you unleash your originality here… in the personal environment.
But wait… you may be the one who complains even after expressing.
I always did.
I was dumped so deep that even when I flushed out my feelings, no one heard, no one responded.
I was venting out, but could not unburden.
I wondered how they become so emotionally deaf that my words are trespassing every ear.
To ring a bell in those ears, I shouted… I screamed… on top of my angry voice.
But again, all in vain. Then came a stage when I started feeling like a rebel.
Never did I realize a mere communication gap could cause so much damage.
The condition was: I could not feel their pain, asking for my pain relievers. And they reciprocated.
We reduced our chemistry to a mere attachment with a burden of expectations on both ends.
I was losing beautiful people but…
Amidst all these bad, there was one good thing happening all way:
I was coming closer to myself, and with no one listening, I started expressing myself in my journal.
Gradually when I knew myself more, I found it was my lost self-love… the culprit.
The missing love in me… for me… yeah, that was opening the flood gates of hatred for my personal environment.
And this is when I realized that I had no love left in me to feel and spread – the reason I was rude to the beautiful people in my personal environment.
This phase taught me a lesson – Not only expressing but the way of expressing also matters.
So remember my friend… The personal environment is beautiful. We just have to spend a little more time here. And stop accepting them for granted.
Let us not lose them based on misconceptions and over expectations.
Unsure whether a person belongs to your personal sphere or not?
Keeping ego aside, call out to the ones who hurt you, in your deepest empathetic voice.
(Selectively the one who hurt because they are close to your heart)
If they could just listen, count them in!
If they don’t, give them a couple of more chances before making any judgment.
If the chemistries still don’t manage, of course that’ll hurt.
But please don’t carry that baggage of rejection along.
There’s nothing to feel sad or disheartened about. That’s the filter in every passage of life. You will realize gradually that the lesson learned was more beautiful than those people.
Handle the professional environment intelligently, greet the social environment happily, and of course- live in the personal environment soulfully.
Best wishes to play the best role in each sphere!!