You Lose Via Expectations…

When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative.  Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations? Why do you expect and from whom do you expect? In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation. Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish. Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection. Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations. The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations? The never-ending expectation process: Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day. Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people. You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them. In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.  Let me bombard a few questions on you... If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations? Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it. Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong. Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...

HOW CAN ONE STOP GETTING AFFECTED WHEN SURROUNDED BY NEGATIVITY/NEGATIVE PEOPLE AROUND?

Ok, let me second that negative people and things surround you. Simultaneously, don't you feel that an individual or a situation detrimental to you could be positive for others? Moreover, don't you think it is entirely practicable that others find you cynical? Having said that, does that make you negative? No, it does not. One thing you need to realize is every individual perceive people and situations according to him/her. I am sorry but only seeing negativity implies that you are wearing a defective pair of lenses. Please stop playing the blame game. Always remember that you can never get affected by others when you have a dominant and a powerful inner-self.  Straight out, getting carried away by negativity emitted by people and situations is your incompetency to deal with it. Feeling cynical because of others implies that you are not under the influence of your aura. It indicates that you are dwelling on others' aura. Summon into mind that YOU are the only reason for your negativity or positivity. You cannot get affected by others if you have a prestigious and powerful inner self. Moreover, one more thing you need to understand is that you should not stay quiet if you have an opinion. Speak up. Express yourself. Let people know what you feel. Flushing out emotional feelings then and there always makes you feel lighter. Subsequently, it enables you to keep away from negativity. Retaining things inside you gives birth to negativity. Eventually, you start playing the blame game. Stop doing it.  

How to deal with negative emotions which are dominant over my happiness?

First of all, you are not a robot, who will not feel anything. It is quite human to feel things and allow the emotions act accordingly. However, what creates a problem is staying in the same mode for an elongated time. It is very healthy to experience emotions. Nonetheless, what's important is never hold the emotions inside you over a long period. It is equally essential to treat the negative emotions same as the positive emotions. A person who treats a failure same as his/her success doesn’t have to search for happiness outside.  There are few things which will help you to stay away from negativity: -A healthy body holds a healthy brain. This mind helps us to make decisions. Therefore, eat healthy to think healthy. - Meditate for inner peace and happiness. The people who always stay happy and stress-free are the ones who know how to connect with their inner self.   -It is equally important to connect with people. Therefore, love, laugh, enjoy with the people around you.  The World itself is an inspiration.   - Our surrounding plays a significant role in our upbringing. Therefore, it is important to have good friends; few friends doesn't matter.  -Never look for a  reason to be happy. You, yourself are the biggest reason for your happiness. -Treat yourself on small achievements. Always try to be self-motivated. -Make peace with your past. Never over-think about situations that hurt you in the past. -Be compassionate.Make somebody happy. It creates a euphoric sensation within you and makes you a better person. Be kind and generous to people who are less privileged than you.  You know yourself better than others. So, start listening to yourself and stay away from negativity.  

Do I always need to justify my actions to people?

Success and failure are brothers from different mothers. You try hard but the end result is not always in your favor. It is the time when people start judging you and even ask for justifications for your downfall or failure. Straight out, you need to appreciate the fact that your actions were inspired by none other than you. You did what you felt was right. People who can accept and understand it will agree to it. They will always back your decision. On the other hand, those who disagree; your hundreds of justifications will be in vain. Trust me, it is impossible to clarify your actions to everybody. People perceive what they want to as per their convenience and understanding. Moreover, why do you need to give justifications for your committed actions? A decision taken can have both the conditions possible. Either it will be right or it will be wrong. Be brave enough to take the responsibility of any condition. Why are you giving justifications to others and authorizing them to take a call on your decision? Also, the definition of right and wrong vary from person to person. Subsequently, neither it is possible nor it is your responsibility to make everyone happy. You don’t owe any justifications to anyone except to your time. Obliging others with your justifications is a big question on your self-belief and self-importance. Therefore, it is entirely your responsibility to take a stand for your actions. Always be loyal to your time as you cannot predict how much you have. Do things what the time demands and not what the people demand. It is the justification for your time, not people, which eases your life journey.      

Define Morals and Why are They Important?

Morals are the basic understandings, values, and beliefs of a particular person or a group or a culture that defines how we should live our life. Sometimes, these are written or expressed in books; sometimes these are words of great people whom we believe.   Morals are universal teachings that we try to practice every day. Morals are ideal in themselves. They help us in choosing a response to a particular situation. Ideally, they teach the concept of right and wrong. Now, when a person believes in these teachings or values and acts accordingly in his day to day life, then these beliefs become a trait of that person. For instance, one should be loyal, is a belief. Loyalty becomes the character of that person. Therefore, we must summon into minds that we build our character on the ideas of our morals. Building a morale is a continuous process, which takes time. It is not a one-day phenomenon. A person's upbringing also plays a dominant role in the cultivation of values and morals. Therefore, it also becomes the responsibility of the parents to nurture their child well. Also, guide them to follow the right path.

HOW TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL?

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HOW TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL?
Success is not a milestone but a journey. No two individuals are the same. Every person is different in character, traits, thinking, background and many more aspects. Therefore, there is no particular mantra for success. Every person has to define their path to success. However, there are some pieces of advice provided by great personalities that can help you in realizing your dreams. First of all, you have to set a goal according to your passion. Rest assured, when one enjoys work, then the probability of success increases dramatically. So, it is essential for you to explore your inside and find out your areas of core competence. Subsequently, pursue your passion by setting a goal and plan a course of action. Positive thinking and positive attitude are the two ends of the boat that sails you through the river full of hurdles. They not only helps you in achieving your goal but makes you a better person over and above all. Also, it is vital never to let your professional goals ruin your personal life. Balance is must between both of them. The joy of success doubles sharing with loved ones. Don’t let the fear of failure holds you back.  Don’t hold yourself back when you have an idea that is new to others. Always back yourself in taking calculated risks. Self-motivation is equally important to keep moving forward. Never forget to treat your spirit when you achieve something, no matter how small. Love your life, enjoy your actions and be kind to yourself. Don’t lie on the ground when you fall, get up; it’s not about the first place always, crawl to cross the finish line.      

WHY ARE GOALS IMPORTANT?

Before starting any journey, one has to know the destination.  Without a destination, the voyage is incomplete.  Let us assume that we have a set of skills. However, until we don’t know what to do with those skills, they are good for nothing. It’s like living life without a purpose. Goals are essential to move forward in life. Moreover, they help us in harnessing our energy in the right direction. Subsequently, they result in productivity from our efforts and energy.  Goals help us realize our true potential. We come to know about where we stand today and what needs to be done to raise our standards. A goal not only helps us in measuring our progress but also helps in maintaining our focus. A goal oriented person never gets distracted.  Moreover, when we subdivide our goals into small targets, it excitingly motivates us and keeps up our motivational level. Therefore, it is vital to set a goal and work for it.  

You should only enjoy the praises from others only when you also feel that you deserve it…

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appreciation and appraisal
As it comes: Everyone loves appreciation and appraisal from others. Come on, accept it that you like to get praised by others. It is because you get boosted and motivated by those appreciations. Sometimes, you even get flattered by those praises. But, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you enjoy those praises and appreciation from others. A few heartfelt questions: Are you worthy of those applauds? Do you also sense a feeling of self-accomplishment for the work or action you are getting appreciation from others? Are the ones praising you honestly your well-wishers? If not, then why are they praising you? Is there any hidden motive behind that false appreciation? Why are you not enjoying the appreciation when others are praising you? Do you really deserve those praises?   Huh...That was some quality brainstorming because these questions really are the need of the hour. There might be many How’s and Why’s playing hide and seek with your mind. Let us try to seek the answers.  The search for answers: First and foremost, sink into your mind that your reason to feel happy should never be that others are happy with your work or action. The things for which you are getting praised should make you happy at the first place.  My dear friend, it is absolutely fine when you are getting praised for something which is also giving you a feeling of accomplishment. The praises from others must be worthy when YOU are impressed with YOURSELF. It must be the case where praises from the outer world should be a bonus. You might want it, but you may not need it. Well, you are quite aware of the fact that how important it is to be self-motivated to keep moving in this competitive world.  This feeling of contentment derived out of self-accomplishment always keeps you up and running. But sometimes, even when you don't deserve the praises, you get it from others. Who are those people and why are they praising you? There are some people who heartily want to motivate you. Those people are your well-wishers who don’t want you to feel depressed. These people are your loved ones who want to uplift you in your lows.  It is the reason why they are praising you even if you don't deserve the appreciation. But there is another set of your appreciators, who are not your well-wishers, the ones I am referring to. Dear friend, you have this ability to distinguish between these two sets of people, but you got to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Let me throw some light on the ones whom I am referring. Straight out, the move for which you are getting praised is benefiting them, not you. Your move is deliberately planned by them so that you get the praises while they enjoy the results. They are praising you because you are making them happy like you always do. Wake up before its late. A real-life illustration: I play squash and there was a district-level squash tournament going on. My opponent in the first round was not a...

HOW TO DEAL WITH OTHERS’ EXPECTATIONS FROM ME?

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EXPECTATIONS FROM ME
Expectations might push you towards your goal, but sometimes they hurt you. Yes, expectations hurt terribly. Well, the people expecting out of you might close to you.  It is because of the closeness with them; you want to fulfill their expectations. As a result, you get overburdened by those expectations. Eventually, what happens is you start believing in the notion of others rather than own self. One thing you need to realize is, if these expectations are not allowing you to breathe freely, these are not your expectations from you. The foremost thing you need to do is explore your inner self and find out your core competencies and the areas of your interest.  Undoubtedly, our loved ones want the best out of us, but sometimes they forget that every individual is unique. Try to make them realize your aspirations, your core competence, your passion and things which you love to do. You need to speak out. Make them a part of your dreams than to get carried by their expectations. If those people expecting from you love you and genuinely care for you, they will understand you. Hang on; there is an another set of individuals who expect from you. They are the people who impose expectations just to hurt you or to hold you back. They are neither your family members nor fall in the category of your friends. They are those people who have not done anything in their lives and hence cannot see others progressing. Please avoid such people and say a big “NO” to them. You owe nothing to such people. Avoid them. One more thing, your expectation should become a reason to push you to achieve your goals rather than to hurt you. It is your life. Never waste it by living it for others.          

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