Success and Happiness

My dear friend, starting from head-tail, good-evil, right-wrong, everything is double-faced. Even a story or a debate has two angles. And you know what, we, the humans are no different. The fact which we all need to get acquainted with is that we have two bulls inside us fighting with each other. Let’s find out who wins? Naturally, our physical body needs food. It is the food we eat which keeps us up and running. Without a second thought, food is the fuel for the physical body. But one thing to observe is the food we eat, the diet we follow is our choice… healthy or unhealthy? And there is a difference in how we feel following either of the diets. While healthy food makes us feel fresh and energy-boosted, the unhealthy food lowers our energy and freshness level. No brainer, you know these things, but there is a reason I am saying this... My dear friend, much like our physical body, which runs on what we eat, our mental body runs on what we feed. I’ll come straight to the point, there are two bulls inside our mind. These bulls feed on two different feeds. Interestingly, only one feed is available at a point. As a result, one bull is always hungry, and the other bull is always full. And so, the fight is always on between the two to get their respective feed. Who are these bulls? Why do they fight? What is their food? Why can’t we feed them together? What is the source of their food? These might be some of your questions seeking answers.  Yes, now the time has come to meet both the bulls... Let us meet the first bull: This bull is always happy, positive, compassionate, cheerful, stress-free, high on inner-self attributes, and hence high on life. I call it the Saint’s bull, which is always hungry for positive emotions. It feeds on joy, gratitude, pride, love which it attracts from the outside world. We can say it is the healthy food which the saint’s bull craves for!!! Let us meet the second bull: This bull inside us is always sad, angry, frustrated, low in inner-self attributes, and hence is depressed all the time. I call it a Demon’s bull, which is always hungry for negative emotions. This bull feeds on hatred, stress, jealousy which it attracts from the outside world. We can conclude that it is the unhealthy food which the demon’s bull craves for!!! Now, when we have met both the bulls, let’s talk about the availability of feed for the bulls.  Situations providing food to the Saint’s bull: The arrival of a newborn Monetary gains and profits Job promotion Success in any competitive field Accomplishment of goals A celebration party These are some situations from our personal and professional sphere in which the saint’s bull gets the feed from the outside world. This is why we feel happy and joyous in these situations. Let us find out the instances which provide food to the demon’s bull: Loss of life of a loved one Monetary Losses Failure in a competition Embarrassments and Criticisms In these situations, the only feed available from...

 The world is full of negative energies and negative people around us. There are many instances which we see, hear, read and subsequently feel every day. The unnatural deaths due to deadly diseases, sudden accidents, brutal rapes, fatal crimes; moreover the betrayals, hypocrisy, jealousy and many more…you are bound to feel negative. But, this is one way of feeling it. Let us introduce ourselves to another way of looking at things. Despite all of the negativity happening around us, we also have all the reasons to feel content. We have a shelter to shed, food to eat, water to drink, money to spend. On top of that, WE HAVE TIME TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE while most of the people do not have time to breathe freely. Compare yourself, but with the ones who can only dream of living your life. STOP COMPLAINING. You have all the right reasons to feel positive. Start feeling and enjoying happiness NOW. Last but not the least, follow compassion. Helping others and making others happy is a definite way to feel happy and positive.  

Before evaluating the differences, let's find out the similarity between both the attitude.  Did you notice that both the attitude have four consecutive letters in common-'LOSE'? You know what does it mean? It means that both the attitude(loser/nothing to lose) are provoked by a loss. Now, there are two possible conditions involving a loss.  You are on the verge of losing. You have already lost. Subsequently, when you encounter any of the above-mentioned situations,  it provokes either a 'nothing to lose' attitude or you develop a 'loser attitude'.   An example involving sports where you are on the verge of losing... Two players are playing a game of squash inside two different courts.  The game is of 5 sets. Both the players lose the first two sets. Obviously, the recovery seems extremely difficult hereon. Now, let us try to compare and analyze their respective attitude where one develops a loser attitude while the other develops a nothing to lose attitude.  The one with the ‘loser attitude:’ After losing the first two sets out of five, the person with a negative mindset starts considering himself as a loser even before the result of the game. It evokes fear inside him and he begins saying to himself that he cannot win from this particular game-situation. Eventually, he surrenders to a situation and showcases a ‘loser attitude’ in the subsequent game-set. This attitude fails to deliver miserably, no need to mention the outcome. The one with the ‘nothing to lose attitude.’   A person with a positive frame of mind sees things differently. After losing the first two sets, he sets himself free. Even he starts considering himself as a loser but with a different mindset. As soon as he accepts his loss, he starts seeing it as a different ball game altogether. It evokes a fearless attitude within him as he is already considering himself as a loser. He starts feeling that he cannot go down anymore and plays the rest of the game carefree and stress-free. Trust me, most of the times he is able to turn the tables around from nowhere, and an evident lose turns out to be a surprising victory. Let us consider a monetary example where the loss has already occurred: Two businessmen suffered a huge financial loss in their respective trades. The one with a loser attitude: The person with the loser attitude starts feeling embarrassed and ashamed. He is not able to sink that loss inside his mind. As a result, it never lets him overcome that loss or defeat. That fear of losing refrains him from starting again. As a result, he always considers himself a loser.  The one with a nothing to lose attitude: There is the other businessman who considers it as an opportunity, the opportunity to start from scratch, where he cannot go down beyond it. This attitude allows him to realize his mistakes so that he never repeats it again. Time for some Happy Realizations!!! Friends, we all lose on something at some point in time.  But what makes us a loser or winner depends...

Expectations might push you towards your goal, but sometimes they hurt you. Yes, expectations hurt terribly. Well, the people expecting out of you might close to you.  It is because of the closeness with them; you want to fulfill their expectations. As a result, you get overburdened by those expectations. Eventually, what happens is you start believing in the notion of others rather than own self. One thing you need to realize is, if these expectations are not allowing you to breathe freely, these are not your expectations from you. The foremost thing you need to do is explore your inner self and find out your core competencies and the areas of your interest.  Undoubtedly, our loved ones want the best out of us, but sometimes they forget that every individual is unique. Try to make them realize your aspirations, your core competence, your passion and things which you love to do. You need to speak out. Make them a part of your dreams than to get carried by their expectations. If those people expecting from you love you and genuinely care for you, they will understand you. Hang on; there is an another set of individuals who expect from you. They are the people who impose expectations just to hurt you or to hold you back. They are neither your family members nor fall in the category of your friends. They are those people who have not done anything in their lives and hence cannot see others progressing. Please avoid such people and say a big “NO” to them. You owe nothing to such people. Avoid them. One more thing, your expectation should become a reason to push you to achieve your goals rather than to hurt you. It is your life. Never waste it by living it for others.          

 No, you must never keep your sadness inside you. Express yourself out. Let people know that you are unhappy. Let them know that you are feeling isolated and depressed. Surely, you will feel a lot better and positive. Satirically, sometimes it may be the situation wherein people in front of whom you want to look happy could be the ones who are responsible for your sadness. Yes, there are situations when the reason for your desolation are the individuals who pretend to be yours; could be anyone from your family or friends. As a result, it becomes extremely tough to flood out your feelings towards them. Eventually, what you do is retain your painful emotions inside and hurt yourself even more. Remember, in any case; it is never advisable to preserve the sentiments inside you. Summon into your mind that it is even more important to express your true feelings towards those people, in particular. They are ones whom you talk to or meet them daily. You cannot escape from them. Keeping your emotions inside can ruin your life completely. Let the feelings flow out. However, sometimes it is only your misconceptions about a person which is responsible for your sadness. Shockingly, the person whom you are holding accountable for your sadness doesn’t even know about it. Don't you feel that the individual concerned must know about it? Yes, you owe him/her at least that much.  Sometimes, you might feel that your expressiveness might lose that person;  Rest assured, you will find yourself.  

Am I right or am I wrong? This question comes to your mind before and after any action. Let us try to find an answer. Dear friend, you have your right-wrong beliefs in different spheres- personal, professional, political, economic and so on. But a person’s life mainly revolves around two spheres-personal and professional. Involving these two spheres, let us take the help of illustrations to unlock the right and wrong beliefs. You can have the right and wrong beliefs about: Situations People Let us take a situation-based instance from the personal sphere... If I ask you... Is God right or wrong? This question sounds weird, but trust me it’s logical. Please answer it… Did you feel that your answer is biased to your current situation? Confused? Let me clear this out for you.  Suppose, your today is a fairytale with happiness all around. No wonder, for you, God is absolutely right! God forbid but assume the other side… You surfaced a sudden loss or a failure. Something shattered your life and there’s sadness all around. If I ask you the same question, God will be wrong. Yes, it happens with almost every individual. Your answer today is dependent on your current situation. You felt it, right? And this happens with most of us. The spontaneity to react to a situation bypasses the concepts of right and wrong.  Let us take the example of people in your professional sphere... If I ask you whether your boss is right or wrong? Your answer will be based on the current tuning with him. The day when he applauds you or offers you incentives or talks about your salary raise, he is right. But the day when he screams at you or overburdens you with work, the same boss is wrong.  The same thinking is applicable when you are the boss...The day you see your employee devoting extra time to work, cracking a deal, achieving targets, he is right... and when he takes long leaves, asks for a salary hike, commits mistakes, he is wrong. One observation drawn is you adjust your right and wrong as per time and situation you are in... Let us find out whether this adjustment is justified… Here’s the interesting part... You are just another person who makes a choice as per your convenience of time and situation. Likewise, others are doing it. And there is nothing wrong with it. My dear friend, you are just a slave to our priorities. Your right and wrong are molded as per time and situation you in. It is all about your priorities and you need not feel sorry for the same. It is the practicality of the real world. And there is nothing much you can change about it. So let us stop judging people and situations, and stop labeling them as right or wrong... An eye opener... When your life is loaded with materialistic options, you might feel that thinking always about the money is wrong. But God forbid, when you cannot fulfill your necessities of life, all you want is money. Now tell me whether you are right or wrong? Will you judge yourself now? I am sure you’ll not… Time for in-depth realizations!!! You...

What is Spirituality ? Spirituality is a concept of being connected with the soul, in other terms it can be called as something bigger than ourselves. The aim of spirituality always involves the search for life. Spiritual experiences can be categorized as sacred or religious but it has a bigger meaning than all of these. It is a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness.  “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Whether a person is religious or not, they might have faced moments in their life when they wanted to connect their brains to some spiritual experiences, the moments when they wanted to feel sensibility and give meaning to their life. The serenity that they feel with the spiritual connection to the brain is beyond the imagination.  What is Spiritual Experiences ? Spiritual states of mind are something which strongly connects you to a stronger or bigger force which can be felt in the form of energy, God, deity, higher power or abstract figure, and consciousness. The connection is in terms of meaningfulness, connectivity towards world, and serenity. Spiritual experiences are powerful as they have a have intense impacts on people’s lives. Scientists have identified a part of the brain called the parietal cortex whose one region is believed to be involved in experiences that go beyond our normal state of mind called spiritual power.  It is clearly known that spirituality is an internal part of healing, it is a source of strength for the one suffering from distress. Spirituality enriches various aspects of our lives including physical, emotional, mental, and relational. Spirituality encloses various aspects of human life and is also a means of undergoing several forms of life. While faith is connected to religious expressions and might not be necessarily a component of spirituality. Spirituality is expressed in the form of beliefs, attitudes, and practices that influence the lives of people. How can Spirituality be Attained? Spirituality can be attained through many spiritual traditions that have been in the history from a long time such as Meditation, prayer, yoga, and journaling using contemplative practices to increase empathy, attention, and compassion, as well as peace of mind.  Meditation- Meditation induces feelings of clear-headedness and calmness. It also improves attention and concentration. A study has proved that meditation increases the grey matter density of the brain, which helps in reducing sensitivity towards pain, help you regulate difficult emotions, enhances the immune system, and relieves stress. Prayers- It triggers the sense of relaxation, along with feelings of gratitude, compassion, and hope which have a positive impact on the overall wellbeing of the human being. There are a variety of prayers which believe that there is some higher power which has a great influence on the life of humans. Yoga- It is an ancient spiritual practice that focuses to create a sense of unity among humans through physical postures, breath expansion, and ethical behaviours. The regular practice of yoga believes to reduce swelling and stress, decrease the intensity of anxiety and depression, increase feelings of wellbeing in the mind of...

Success is not a milestone but a journey. No two individuals are the same. Every person is different in character, traits, thinking, background and many more aspects. Therefore, there is no particular mantra for success. Every person has to define their path to success. However, there are some pieces of advice provided by great personalities that can help you in realizing your dreams. First of all, you have to set a goal according to your passion. Rest assured, when one enjoys work, then the probability of success increases dramatically. So, it is essential for you to explore your inside and find out your areas of core competence. Subsequently, pursue your passion by setting a goal and plan a course of action. Positive thinking and positive attitude are the two ends of the boat that sails you through the river full of hurdles. They not only helps you in achieving your goal but makes you a better person over and above all. Also, it is vital never to let your professional goals ruin your personal life. Balance is must between both of them. The joy of success doubles sharing with loved ones. Don’t let the fear of failure holds you back.  Don’t hold yourself back when you have an idea that is new to others. Always back yourself in taking calculated risks. Self-motivation is equally important to keep moving forward. Never forget to treat your spirit when you achieve something, no matter how small. Love your life, enjoy your actions and be kind to yourself. Don’t lie on the ground when you fall, get up; it’s not about the first place always, crawl to cross the finish line.      

What defines your monotonous life? My boredom? Our generation’s boring monotony? A haunting tradition following since the X generation! It’s a pre-defined conventional journey — starts with a super-active child at home, an exuberant kid in school, an adventurous youth in college, and then? As soon as you enter the late twenties and early thirties, don’t you feel:We are puppets dancing off-beat to the tune of a monotonous life? You won’t disagree more or less we share a common story. We’ll talk a little about every phase starting teenage. The time before that does not qualify for scrutiny. We were happy souls then. The tender teenage is the age when most of us are on an exploring spree. It’s the most exciting phase when most of us are introduced to new experiences. The thrills of hormonal attraction, the adventure of bunking classes, the excitement of a new cellphone, fear of failures, sadness inflicting loss, and whatnot… Life events are not customary and that’s the best part of this time. Every moment awaits to capture a new experience. Moving to the next phase is the dawn of adulthood (the twenty-one's) when most of us go through a full range of overwhelming emotions, and gradually we prioritize and move forward with our choices and responses. But what next? Don’t you realize life stagnates thereafter? Yes… the majority of us stand at the doorstep of a monotonous life. ‘That’s because we turn into:spouses and parents in personal livesan employee or an employer in a professional careera mere reputation in the social environmentTill over and out.’ Please keep reading even if you haven’t reached this state, you are closer than you think! That’s because soon a customary routine takes over to define our life’s monotonous process until we final gasp. Most have compromised with it. But you don’t belong there, the reason you are here. Allow me to offer: 4 super effective ways to break the monotony of everyday life: Twist the thought process When you program your mind into a routine existence; your mind becomes a jailor and your soul a prisoner. Your life isn’t a beautiful exploration journey anymore. I may sound silly if I ask you: Do you wait for the holidays? Everyone does! Most of us work our asses off the entire week to enjoy on weekends. But does that mean you are eligible for happiness only on weekends? I don’t know much but I am sure about this: We cannot assign a particular date, time, and place for happiness. My friend; even happiness seems monotonous this way. What I feel we need this break every day. Any small conscious mind break is capable to break your routine existence. Listening to music, exercising, or maybe a long drive — any such monotony breaker not involving your mind is capable to rejuvenate your soul. And when you do that, you realize happiness does not involve the mind, it’s an essence of the soul. Did you know? Not only feeling happiness, but a mind rest daily can also raise its potency drastically. Here is a summary of recent research and thinking on the value of taking breaks. Start it now or else your holiday break remains a random...

Like many of my other write-ups, this article also starts with a small story, so that I can fully connect with you.  A short story: Once, there was a sparrow. She realized that her chick is fully grown up. She did not want the child sparrow to be dependent on her anymore. She wanted her child to experience the life austerities and struggles. After all, her chick had experienced all the comforts.  She felt that it was the right time for her chick to experience and challenge the other side of life. One day, she gave her valuable life lessons and made her aware of the cruel realities of life. Finally, she made her realize that now the time has come where her chick should learn how to live an independent life.   So, the mother sparrow asked her chick to build a nest on its own. She advised her to be very careful while making it. The baby sparrow fled here, there, everywhere to collect the twigs. While she was collecting the twigs, she came across a field covered with mustard plants. It was a beautiful yellow field full of mustard beans.  The field was well plowed, and therefore, there were soft worms on that plowed field. Seeing that, the baby sparrow was overjoyed. No better food she could have asked for. The mother sparrow once came to see how her child was progressing. The baby sparrow narrated her mother how she is planning to prepare her nest on that plowed field. She described her everything; the mustard seeds, the flowers, and the worms. The baby sparrow thought that she has made her mother proud and was expecting a pat on the back. To her shock, there was a very stern look on her mother’s face. The mother sparrow wanted her child to be aware of the cons associated with her decision. It made the baby sparrow furious as she was very high on life and didn’t want to take any of her mother's advice. The concerned mother tried a lot to make her daughter realize, but all went in vain. The disheartened mother sparrow left.  The baby sparrow did not get affected by it at all. Without giving a second thought, she built her nest on the strongest branch of one of the trees in that particular field. It was a well-built swinging nest. Besides, it was all beautiful and colorful around.  The baby sparrow felt victorious that she did not have to move around in search of food. Within no time, she got addicted to the luxuries of life. Gradually, her wings could no longer support her weight. The baby sparrow started to feel dull, lethargic and sluggish. The weather changed, which added to her plight. Because of the weather change, the flowers began to fall, and the worms started to disappear. What more, one day a farmer came and harvested the entire field. The baby sparrow could hardly analyze what was happening around. What once looked like an ideal life turned out to be the worst of...