Self Improvement and Motivation

Contentment is the realization of a beautiful soul. It is a feeling which resides within every individual, but only a few are able to explore it. It's completely different from materialistic happiness dependent on the outside world. Counting your blessings is the best way to reach there! A hungry person when smells the aroma of food, it is contentment. A mother while feeding her child sees a smile on his/her face, it is contentment. Father, when he sees his daughter in her wedding dress, is contentment. Contentment is not a thought. It's an unmatched feeling that awakens the lively buds of your soul. You cannot buy contentment; you earn it! When you see a flower, it's beauty and scent fills your heart with positivity. At times, you want to become that flower by aromatizing the life of others and spreading happiness. When one small act of yours brings a smile to someone’s face or a tear of joy in those eyes, that compassion within you is nothing but contentment. Even in your work sphere, the feeling derived from doing work that makes you happy is contentment. Sometimes you succeed, sometimes you fail. When you succeed, you feel a sense of joy, it is contentment. Even when you fail, a proud feeling must arise that you fulfilled the demand of that particular situation by giving your best. That feeling is nothing but contentment. However, you have to make sure that blissfulness derived out of contentment should never lead to complacency. It must always make you stress-free rather than making you carefree. It must push you further than to pull you back. Remember, standing water gets dirty quickly. So, never stop and keep flowing.             

Do you lose your temper when someone cuts you in traffic? Or you feel guilty of exploding on anyone you can exercise your dominance, especially children, which you afterward regret? If something sounds relevant, you need to control your anger. Mismanaged anger can destroy personal, professional, and social relationships. It disturbs the peace inside.   Sometimes it’s hard to overturn consequences of fuming anger, especially broken trust and respect in a relationship. Why do you feel angry? Is anger bad? You feel angry when people don’t act and situations don’t happen, according to you. Stubborn thoughts conquer the mind under the rule of ego. All look perfect until the outside world happens according to your desire.   When people agree to you, you feel proud, unconsciously tuning to a self-boasting state. But then comes people’s perspective, their choice differs yours, and suddenly you dislike everyone and everything. You feel hurt, and your dwindled ego cries. It gets cranky, loaded with stress, and starts yelling on people, even on oneself (those brutal self-judgments). But that’s the downside of uncontrolled anger.  Though anger is a negative emotion, it’s not a useless emotion. It powers you with courage to raise a voice for a cause or second a perspective.  Anger is the driver of negative motivation, encouraging you to stand up against bullies and unethical behaviors.  So anger is a powerful emotion, not bad.  We just don’t know to manage anger. 16 magical anger management techniques  Know your triggers Anger is a little mud over the hard surface of other negative emotions. Tap on to your anger and embrace it, till you explore the underlying emotions triggering it. Jealousy or an Unfulfilled expectation... what’s your trigger? Express in person when you turn calmer Never hold a grudge. Talk to them and clear misunderstandings when temperature stabilizes. Holding it for long converts the loop of thoughts to negative emotions, which mires the raw and true feelings. Initiate your expression with ‘I’ statement having less or no ‘You’ Try improving the quality of your argument.  Say something like I feel bad as I’m already hurt or I can’t take this as I’m already feeling low. Then to say: How can you say this? It’s your fault. What’s wrong with you? Don’t stop yourself from being sensitive I am overly sensitive towards emotions.  What I found that’s one trait of my attitude. I need not change it, instead, stop judging myself for that. The less I self-judge, the less the anger, the more self-love floats, and the more I spread love. Stop focussing on personality when you are alone You lose on life experiences if you spend Me-time adjusting your personality.  You become more and more rigid. That rigidity fuels the anger most of the time. Let the people define your personality, stop self-labeling your identity, it’s not your job. Enhance quality of lifestyle What nutrition you intake, your discipline at work, and how much you rest, these mostly define your lifestyle. And a healthy lifestyle is a vital element of conscious living, so work on it. It’s a must for sanity where you are not fuming over little things. Affirmation of positive thoughts It’s a practice, 10-min everyday session.  Positive self talks soaked in love during this. Gratitude and Forgiveness the sole agendas here. Raise curiosity to...

According to Collins dictionary, Nature is all the animals, plants, and other things in the world that are not made by people, and all the events and processes that are not caused by people. (I'll be denoting Nature by They, Them, Their... Just cannot confine nature into a box of It.) Let’s meet Nature Nature is super-expressive! Since ages, they are trying hard to express: Pain during ruthless slaughtering, Misery in feeding pollutants, Suffering after a sudden human attack, Yes that’s what nature had to share. Because that’s what we... the most intelligent creatures on this planet... had been offering to them... in our own filthy ways. Cruel We ... who didn’t bother listening to nature shouts in pain inflicted by us. We could not sense those tears; We had no feelings for them in our consciousness. We murdered them for our luxuries; burnt them for money. We went unconscious of their existence, unaware that our existence is superficial without the creator — Nature! You might wonder: Why am I told this? Why am I forced to realize all of it? Well the whole purpose of saying this is: If that’s the ugly past you want to forget, guess what... you got this opportunity! It’s time you can break that equation, and start afresh chemistry with nature. Because nature just forgot ages of brutality by us during this pandemic. Nature revived without long-due revenge! Nature resurrected! Nature is back to the old school smiles! So time to get back to the present and embrace this undeserved opportunity. It’s important we connect with nature now... when they are all smiles! Never was a better time we could feel free from this guilt... the guilt of causing so much harm to them. It’s time we feel happy with them, for them! Just to remind you, nature was never helpless. If they would take long-due revenge, the entire human race could be sacrificed. That’s how much damage we did to them. But guess what... nothing as such happened... And nature we never met... sounds familiar! Call it luck, fate, destiny, anything, but make sure you accept this as a blessing! That human lockdown led to nature's independence! Indirectly adding more generations to the human race. All mediums of pollution are at rest. And the: fresh air, clear skies, whirling trees, gushing winds, chirping birds, they are all back. It’s a huge offering from nature who was hit brutally hard by us. So come on mate… We always complained about limited time. We were unconscious of their cries then. But about now...during this lockdown... Let us not miss this... to listen to nature expressing joy! Well if you are wondering... How do I interact with nature? Let me remind you there’s an unconscious breath transaction always on between you are the greens outside. Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... lifetime transaction... till your last breath! And now let me ask you: The fact that life is lifeless without breath, and breath connects humans to nature, Is this not enough to create an involvement? I feel... Acknowledging this simple fact has enough reasons to develop a beautiful bond with the creator — Nature! If you could feel this mind shift, you could experience life over mental and emotional barriers. Your ego goes for a toss, as you...

The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health? Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires? Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering? Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before? Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics? If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas. High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts. Let’s understand what’s cooking A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering. Like too much to take! And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition. The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted! Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now. To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period! What all of it is resulting to? Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity. I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine. And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark. I walked out in a better headspace! A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind. I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful. 4 Mindshifts for a better headspace A mere acceptance of your pain Human race is mourning to bereavement, Eyes around reflect deep down fears, Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death, Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never, Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,  Like everything brought to a standstill! Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world. You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out. The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety. But my dear friend... you need to realize: Not only you, your family, your city, or your country... It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now. So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal! Yes you need to accept this right now... Better said... you might wonder: How should I gracefully accept this change? Just acknowledge you are not battling alone. It's not only about you this time... we are in this together! This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain. It brings the acceptance you need! Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering. Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive! You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living. You got to feel grateful for this! You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness. If I ask you:  Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point? I think many of us would admit: Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did! If...

Yes, it is your judgmental eyes which inflicts unbearable pain, which makes me suffer like a loser. It's because you judge me by my smile without realizing the burden of tears I am carrying. Your eyes can only see my physical wounds, but that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I wish you could hear the cries of mental wounds...  You know my problem?  I have not attained that level where I stop getting affected by judgments and opinions about me. Yes, assuredly, I shall reach there one day but for God's sake, please stop until then. I know that I don't have a strong dwelling of my aura where I can reside, but why aren't you allowing me to create a foundation of my aura? Why are you enforcing your aura on me? I'm not asking you to stop judging me, I know you don't have this ability. What I'm requesting you is to judge me only after stepping into my shoes.  Wow..what an irony...instead of pushing me back to life, you are pushing me to death. And the father of all ironies is that you still claim that you care about me. I won't surrender to the situation and commit suicide, but do you just feel that you are responsible for instigating suicidal thoughts inside me. Please try to understand that I am already fighting an intense battle with my capabilities, I am already bleeding so why do you want to bleed me to death? I'm already burning so please stop adding fuel to that fire!!! Don't you dare to perceive it as your dominance over me. I'm getting affected by you because of reasons I'm not sure you would want to hear. But if you are courageous enough, let me clear out the reasons behind my sufferings... I'm tolerating this suffocation because you matter to me...your opinions, your comments, your observations, your judgments regarding me matters to me, it all matters to me. I cannot turn my back on you, I cannot run away from you, I cannot part my ways with you. It is because I care for you, I'm attached to you, and so I don't want to hurt you. But you are not stopping!!! Your judgmental eyes and judgmental lies   are choking my breath. And if this is what you have to offer, I'm sorry but you are forcing me to become you. And my dear, if I become like you, not sure whether you would be able to withstand my honesty. Beware...it is my respect for you talking thus far!!! But if you are not stopping here, then I don't find any option than to be brutal!!! And if you really want to know the reason behind the discrepancy between my physical and mental appearance, be patient...I would uncover my feelings as slowly as I could so that you taste every bit of what I'm going through. Instead of asking me what is wrong, you always call me wrong. Please stop stating the obvious because I was not the same some time back. But did you bother to know the reason?  And when you are judging me through...

"Whatever goes around comes around." Yes, it is the bottom-line of Karma. Karma is our action or deed; no matter how small or big. Whatever we do, has an objective behind it. Karma also deals with that objective. If we do something good to others but it has an evil intention behind it, then according to karma, it is wrong. Likewise, if we make a mistake but the objective behind it is pure and pious, then karma treats you accordingly. Let us take an example. If we steal a coin and give it to a beggar who is in need, the motive behind it is compassion. Here, the act of helping overpowers the act of stealing. Therefore, whatever we do, it should have a noble intention behind it. It is what "Karma" teaches us.    

The past is gone; The future is unpredictable. What you have and what you can control right now is your present. It is imperative to feel it to enjoy it. As they say, time and tide wait for none; likewise, you should appreciate the present moment rather than making a hue and cry of your past or worrying about the future. On the contrary, what you do is either you ponder upon your past, or you are busy making plans for future. As a result, you neglect to feel the essence of the present moment.You need to realize that 'now' is the moment to cherish. These small moments in the present moment can only make your life happy. Awareness in the present moment makes every moment memorable in a way where you don't need memories to cherish later. When you enjoy the present, the future is bound to be good. One foot in the past and one foot in the future is just like keeping your feet in two boats and trying to make a balance to stay safe. This way, you will not only hurt yourself but also will lose the precious moments of now. STOP HERE. Take deep breaths. Enjoy the NOW. Don't run away from it. Don't allow your thinking to take control over your feelings. Things will happen. You are neither early nor late. Respect the 'TIME ZONE.' Just flow with each passing moment.  Relax and enjoy the present moment. Learn the art of Meditation to stimulate your feelings, which will keep you away from overthinking. Life is beautiful. Start cherishing every moment now.  

And here she begins... You opted to grow up but I opted to remain a child... I preferred to stay the same but you loved the change. You know why? Because the change was for your good, not mine. I can understand that you were ambitious enough to lash onto every opportunity but how could you when the foundation of it was my failure? You did not realize that your success ladder was not wide enough that we climbed together. But you never looked back to check whether I was behind.  You know... I was all ears in your struggling times. I made you run when you could not stand. I gave you a purpose to fight when you were on the brink of losing. I literally gave you life when you were on the verge of a suicide. Now how could you glow your candle without realizing that it was my wax which is burning? How could you move on leaving me behind? How could you take a stride when either of your shoes was not mine? How did you clap when either of your hands was not mine? I know you are not good at expressing love but then how were you so good at expressing the bitterness? You doubted my reciprocation emphasizing that I changed. You said I don’t love you anymore... You were not completely wrong because you didn’t deserve it anymore. Yes, both of us wanted a bigger house, but it is you who forgot that... The bigger the house, The longer The distance between the rooms. You forgot that the foundation of a healthy relationship is respect, and not always love!!! You cursed my anger and frustration but never realized it was my pain shouting at you.  You said you don’t see a smile; I say you didn’t see my tears... You called me possessive and insecure but I say it was love. You spoke to get heard but about my words...they sought attention, but your ears called them trespassers. I know you found my fault and I found yours... And maybe neither of us was wrong and the situation was guilty. But you know what, you were never ready to be tested in those situations.  No, you were not a liar either but the problem was you were brutally honest. I took pride in calling you ‘my man’ but you turned out to be more of a man with fewer emotions. I am sure you never cheated on me with other women but does that make you loyal? Sorry I deny because you stopped looking at me either. I’m sure you never slept with other women but why did you stop sleeping with me? It was our mutual decision that I conceive. The decision which once looked beautiful seems ugly now. You know why? Because I am the one who has to live with that decision, not you. Yes, I am still facing the wrath to conceive that decision. Abortion was your solution, but it was ‘your solution to your insecurities.’ If you ask me which you never did, it was a heinous crime. Society... we never cared about, but I never realized that...

Even if you are not a winner, appear like one. It is one of the most important traits of your personality to lead a healthy life. It is the reflection of your self-belief. A confident person lives far better life than a person with low self- confidence. Well, there are simple things that help in acquiring this particular trait. One is your lifestyle. Most of the times, your physical appearance reflects your self-confidence. Now, do not confuse between your looks and appearance. Your looks are not under your control, but you can always monitor the way you appear. Your presence creates your aura, which always has to be compelling to look self-confident. Always keep in mind that an early bird catches the most worms. A fit person appears more confident than others. Therefore, your appearance makes a lot of impact on the people you meet. Moreover, a smile can do wonders. A smile welcomes a smile. A happy person invites others to converse with him/her. Make eye contact and maintain your body posture while talking. You can practice it in front of the mirror. Rest assured, it helps. Moreover, you must know what to speak. Never try to impress others with false statements. At the same time, never try to impose your ideas on others. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.   Be confident in thinking and attitude. Talk to random person whenever you get a chance. Be generous and kind but don’t over apologize. Don’t worry, nobody is perfect, so tie your laces and take on the world.          

 The world is full of negative energies and negative people around us. There are many instances which we see, hear, read and subsequently feel every day. The unnatural deaths due to deadly diseases, sudden accidents, brutal rapes, fatal crimes; moreover the betrayals, hypocrisy, jealousy and many more…you are bound to feel negative. But, this is one way of feeling it. Let us introduce ourselves to another way of looking at things. Despite all of the negativity happening around us, we also have all the reasons to feel content. We have a shelter to shed, food to eat, water to drink, money to spend. On top of that, WE HAVE TIME TO THINK AND TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE/ POSITIVE while most of the people do not have time to breathe freely. Compare yourself, but with the ones who can only dream of living your life. STOP COMPLAINING. You have all the right reasons to feel positive. Start feeling and enjoying happiness NOW. Last but not the least, follow compassion. Helping others and making others happy is a definite way to feel happy and positive.