Happiness is awareness and appreciation of the now
Some of us are busy equating happiness to the past instances while many are awaiting the happiness in the future. Only a few of us are able to realize that happiness is right here, right now in the present moment. If you don't belong to this minority category, this article is a must-read for you.
In-depth Realizations...
The past is gone, and the future is yet to come. You know it too. But there is a reason why I am stating the obvious.
I say so to make you realize that the past cannot be changed, likewise, the future cannot be controlled. You can only take care of the things happening NOW.
It is only the present moment which always stays with you. Anyone and everyone might leave you except the present moment, which will always be with you until your last breath.
If you agree to it, then allow yourself to enjoy its company and make it your best friend...How? Let us find out:
The essence to feel:
To enjoy the present moment, the first thing you need to know is that Feel is the essence of Happiness. So the first thing you need to do is to revive the feel.
But it is not that easy as it sounds. It is because your thoughts are dominant over your ability to feel the present moment.
You need to realize that Feel is inversely proportional to Thoughts. If you are thinking more, it means you are feeling less.
And if you are doing so, the upcoming part of the article is not something you can afford to miss:
Look, I am not saying that thinking is not important. Of course, it's important. Unless you think, you will not be able to plan. Planning is important to get ready to face the upcoming situations.
Also, your professional atmosphere requires thinking. So yes, positive and productive thinking is important.
But you need to understand that it is not thinking but negative thinking, which needs to be avoided. To avoid negative thinking, I just want you to feel more and think less.
The process of negative thinking...
What is the current scenario?
When you are always thinking, you are not realizing that simultaneously, you are less responsive to your sense organs. Let us explore how thinking is taking a toll on your sense organs.
Eyes- You are not able to view the beauty of the nature surrounding you.
Nose- You are unable to feel your blessed breaths, which itself is a form of meditation.
Ears- You are unable to listen to the beautiful melodies...sounds of nature, delicate words by your loved ones, and most importantly, you are not listening to your inner voice.
Tongue- You are not able to feel the food bites...You are more concerned thinking about what you are eating than to feel the fact that you are eating.
Skin- You are unable to sense the gentle winds which want to nourish you, the beautiful touch of your loved ones, and many such things.
Do you know, just by sensing any of the sense organs completely, the feelings you experience can be as...
Best Self-Improvement Books in 2020
Have you been hunting for ways to transform into a happier self?
It is time to call shots and make some big changes in life.
Well, little did you know but creating a happy bubble around you is easy-peasy. The secret lies in unleashing the potential in you so that you become your best version.
Kiss goodbye to anxiety because happiness is not hard-found. Being happy is easier than you think.
So, are you great at chalking out plans and strategies but not quite efficient in implementing them? No problem! Digging into the best of self-improvement books can help you rule out every little hurdle, standing in the way of you and a good life. Believe it or not but self-help books work like magic.
Taking cues from the insights shared by the greatest minds in the world, reading lines that are inspiring and healing and getting a hang of simple, developmental exercises, the perks of engaging in self-improvement books are way more than you can imagine.
Wondering where to start? Don’t worry because here’s a curated list of 10 best self-improvement books of 2020
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
If you’ve been dreaming of taking pleasure in a fairytale life, Big Magic is a must-read. The author has splendidly jotted down stories, spilling beans about her experiences with magic and creativity. Read more to find out what makes her life so much happy and fulfilling.
Buy Now Here - Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
Time Management Secrets by Martin Manser
Do you struggle to execute a job perfectly when your plate is too full? Well, Time Management Secrets is a winning aid for you. Explore the fundamentals of time management and give your career the much-needed wings. Read about the ways of strategizing and recognizing your priorities. The book includes priceless words of wisdom from experts in business circles. Learn the ropes of necessary work ethics, analyze the importance of communication and every other knick-knack, important to hit the easy-street.
Buy Now Here : Time Management: Collins Business Secrets
Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
Is your life topsy-turvy? Well, Rachel Hollis is here to tell you that it is okay to have a messy life. However, to make it a joyful space and make life a smooth-sailing, one must get over the bait of procrastinating and lying to oneself. It is a big hurdle that does a lot of damage. Girl Wash Your Face is a book that enlightens you about the 20 odd lies, people love telling themselves to procrastinate and hold back.
Buy Now Here : Girl, Wash Your Face
Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes
Shonda Rimes is not an unknown name if you loved to binge-watch shows like ‘How To Get Away With Murder’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ The book is not a fancy tenement of tricks and tips for a better life. Instead, Rimes highlights the changes she witnessed after she said ‘YES’ for a year. It is a chronicle of episodes that only got better when she started nodding ‘YES’ for everything in life. Her...
14 differences between sadness and depression…
Though it is common to face the feeling of sadness, grief, and sorrow at some point in our lives, depression is a serious condition which needs to be unmasked and knocked out.
Most of us often confuse between sadness and Depression. And therefore, It is imperative to know the differences and take appropriate measures.
14 differences between sadness and depression
The foremost difference between sadness and depression is that sadness is a temporary feeling.
On the other hand, the feeling of depression is over an extended period, can last even for a lifetime.
Sadness is an emotional pain which is a reaction to situations. The reasons for sadness are apparent. It could be linked to the death of a closed one, financial losses, failures, homesickness, breakups, fight with the best friend, and so on...
Depression is a serious medical illness where one is sad about everything. A situation where everything is fine but the person still feels miserable. Shockingly, there is no apparent reason for depression. Yes, you read it right. A person can feel depressed for no reason.
A sad person craves for the moments once rejoiced; they miss the activities which used to excite them.
In case of a depressed person, nothing seems to pull their interest, not even the things which used to give them pleasure earlier...
A sad person relates their sadness only to the causes of sadness. They do not trigger their overthinking mode. The intensity of pain is confined to the reasons for sadness.
A depressed person is already hurt. And so, they get affected by petty issues beyond boundaries. They overthink about it. In the process, find self-hurting reasons which have no relevance to the primary cause. As a result, the intensity of pain is unbearable.
Feel is the essence of happiness. When a person is sad, he/she doesn’t lose the ability to feel.
With depression, the person loses the ability to feel. They feel less and think more. In extreme stages of depression, the feel quotient is almost dead, and the person stops getting affected by anything and everything happening around.
When a person feels sad, the motive in their life never subsides. He/She does not give up on their dreams, passion, goals, and ambitions.
A person feeling depressed does not have aims and aspirations. They have no purpose in life. They are unaware of where their life is leading to.
A sad person follows the routinary sleep and diet patterns. Even if the pattern gets disturbed, it is for a short time span.
In case of a depressed person, it lasts way longer than that... the person may become an insomniac or sleep all day…With diet, either they don’t eat at all or keep munching on abnormal quantities at abnormal timings.
With sadness, one does not feel tired and fatigue the whole day, every day. The reasons can be attributed to the causes of sadness.
With depression, one does not feel getting out of the bed the entire day, every day. On top of that, the cause of tiredness and fatigue can be linked to literally nothing. Yes, read it right!!!
When a person has reasons to feel sad, he will be sad....
Why Failure and Success are Brothers from Different Mothers?
Failure or Success- A perspective…
When a coin is tossed, there's a 50% chance it will land upon the side you bet. Similar is our outcome in different chores we perform in our life. One major difference that differentiates our life with tossing of the coin is that we put in a lot of devotion and hard work in our efforts.
"Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts."
~Winston Churchill
But similar to the tossing of a coin, those chores may result in either success or failure. Sometimes even after extreme hard work and perseverance, the outcome is a failure, leaving us shattered.
What happens when failure is the outcome?
Failure is the outcome of mere bad luck or a minor fault which we don't realize while enduring. We regret about failures when all our efforts go in vain and nothing fruitful comes out.
We get disheartened, thinking we will never succeed and then delve into the domain of negative thoughts.
Students failing in competitive exams, people facing rejections while seeking employment; Life has become a battlefield where success is adjourned as the winner, while failure is looked with pity, remorse, and guilt. This outlook needs tweaking.
What to comprehend?
Success is a destination, but it is the journey full of failures, that deserves an appreciation.
‘Success is that lively and elusive mask of realization, which covers the various lifeless faces of failures.’
Happy Realization
People fail to realize that they would never commit that same mistake again in their lives ever. If they had tasted success in that only attempt then maybe this mistake would have cost them severely.
We need to realize that the failure causing such heart-wrenching grief to their heart, is just due to a minor mistake, a temporary glitch that can be rectified in the next attempt.
We need to realize quickly that we are not failures alone. Everyone, and I repeat, everyone who is successful has failed on numerous occasions to reach where he/she is.
we just have to accept those glitches as normal, without overthinking about it. and move on, and move on. Obviously, it ain't easy, the reason we have fewer success stories.
People have to take a huge leap of faith to do that. Even though society may blame you, criticize you at an unbearable level, trust me, you can bear them all, provided you compete with none other than oneself.
The course of action:
Analyze: This is the most crucial tool to avoid failures in the upcoming future. The secret to success lies in your failures. People have to just analyze them carefully and draw the point of errors or flaws, and vouch to never repeat them.
Plan: Devise a new plan of approach omitting the mistakes you have analyzed. Use new techniques that you will be able to apply. Avoid sticking to the customary ones which have stopped delivering results.
Enact: Apply the whole plan step by step and execute it as per your calculations. Don’t deviate in the greed of achieving more. In pursuit of greed, you may even lose what you aspire, which...
I fear to become a father of a daughter, not ashamed to accept it.
Becoming a father is a boon. Becoming a father of a girl child is a bigger blessing. most of the fathers know what their daughter means to them.
However, having accepted this, I’m sorry to admit that I am not sure whether I want to become a father of a daughter...
Here I begin... what I feel and why I feel so!!!
My wife is expecting a baby. She is on top of the world. I cannot express how overjoyed she is. Everyone in the family is happy. But if you ask about my feelings, it’s a mixed feeling. Just not able to put it down into words.
I am excited but at the same time; I am nervous. I am not sure whether I shall be able to justify the responsibilities of a father. One thing which always scares me–responsibilities.
I still remember the day she told me she missed her monthlies…. I freaked out; I was shocked. Haha…quite contrary to the response she was expecting. At least I can laugh it off today.
Now she is 6 months pregnant and yes, the feeling of a to-be father has completely sunk in. It’s not that I had to accept it and so such a feeling. No, not at all. To be honest, it’s a magical feeling.
All the fathers and to-be fathers can know how it feels when your wife makes you feel your child’s kicks inside the womb. Not to forget the feel of topsy-turvy movements, swear on God, apprehensions if any, are flushed out at that time.
Everyone in the family is waiting for that time, they call it the D-day. And now, my family along with friends and relatives are asking us, what are you expecting- a boy or a girl? One of the few big things they want to know from you at that time.
Well, my answer to them is clear, ‘I don’t care, only my child should be healthy at the time of birth, that’s it.’
Huh...... really? Do I feel this way? Does my mind has the same clarity as my words?
Well, I am sorry but I am not sure.
‘I don’t care’ is what I always believed but not today. There are a lot of uncertainties and unanswered questions today.
Don’t worry about my wife’s choice because they will not judge her choice. But somehow I think if a to-be father wants a son and not a daughter, he is judged and questioned. And the same is happening to me. I fear that everyone, including my family, will judge my decision.
But now, it’s high-time I need to tell the reasons behind my answer. Moreover, I want to answer on behalf of many who think alike but prefer to stay silent.
First of all, I am not a male chauvinist. I am not that dirty narrow-minded pig who supports gender inequality.
No, I am not looking at a maybe-son as my successor and to tell the truth, I am strictly against the dowry system.
Rest assured, I am not killing my maybe-daughter inside the womb either. I respect...
Why is Self-Motivation important?
You might face many situations in life where you know that you did well. Also, for that, you seek appreciation from others. You might deserve it, but sometimes you don't get it. It is quite disheartening.
Friends, you need to comprehend that it is a cruel world out there. The sooner you realize it, the better it will be for you.
Everyone is primarily concerned about themselves. All are busy exploring their ways to healthy and happy living. Nobody is interested in knowing your credentials and achievements. Whatmore, you are also one of them. Moreover, there is no harm in it because life is equally tough for everyone. Therefore, instead of criticizing them, start motivating yourself.
It’s a much-deserved reward after a long, tiring day to remind you that you did great today. It not only uplifts your mood but also enables you to push your limits. It creates a belief of satisfaction and self-confidence.
A self -motivated person never looks outside for happiness, as the happiness resides inside them. It is vital to applaud for own-self because you only know how much effort has been put to make things possible.
Self-motivation decorates your spirit with strength and self -empowerment. It uplifts you to do things with more vigor and confidence. It helps you enjoy the success. It also helps you to accept failures, which pushes you to convert that failure into success.
Therefore, always treat yourself when you do something good. Keep yourself boosted and motivated. Always keep the spirits high.
Hard to break up with your social Environment? Here’s the Courage you need
Are you losing beautiful people in the process of pleasing the social environment?
A renowned musician Bob Marley once said:
Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.
So beginning with, let’s meet the people surrounding you indigenous to distinct environments:
We’ll start with the most essential sphere...
Personal Environment:
Generally, the people from this domain are beautiful. The most admirable quality about them is they can distinguish your real self from your fabrications.
Wondering what’s the chemistry you share with the people from your personal environment?
A sense of belongingness budding from attachment!
And sometimes, this intimacy inflicts unbearable pain. You won’t deny the stronger the connection, the deeper it hurts.
But is this attachment a setback? No, it’s not.
Come on! They are an integral part of your life; he/she is your life partner, parent, kid, sibling, and friend.
You seek and reciprocate love in this sphere. There are certain responsibilities you owe towards each other. You share a strong connect anyway — physical, emotional, mental, financial.
Obviously, when all of this is happening, an attachment has to seep from either side. And that’s perfectly fine!
No wonder, misunderstandings hurt sentiments on a few occasions. Yes, sometimes obligations are overburdening.
There are times when you exhaust fulfilling their expectations. And there are situations when you feel a prisoner because of dependency.
Look:
No two individuals are the same and sometimes, miscommunications may cause distress in the relationship.
Having said:
Stop blaming attachment for covering own inefficiency and incompetence.
Do you realize how essential is this bond?
Not only the soft cries but this deep attachment also bestows you with blissful memories to cherish.
Where losing a family member inflicts pain; arrival of a family member spreads joy.
Sometimes these people make you cry; most of the times they offer you a hundred reasons to smile.
When an unfulfilled expectation hurts; a fulfilled wish rejuvenates.
When they make you realize your mistakes; they are the only ones appreciating your credentials.
When they blame; they even apologize.
I’m sure you agree with most of the episodes. And for those beautiful reasons, make sure the ego never obstructs your way to a healthy personal environment.
Let’s jump to the next dimension...
Professional environment:
Much like your personal sphere, you need to make adjustments here too.
Most of us are employers or employees in the professional environment; right?
If you are an employee, you need to respect your boss. If you are a boss, you need to appreciate your employees.
After all, the byproduct is money on which everyone strives.
As I always say:
Money is not every reason but the first reason for happiness.
The professional environment is a vital sphere demanding your meticulous attention. So yes, blending with the people from this world is your unsung priority.
And that’s fine again. But are we done?
Did you meet everyone?
No, you didn’t.
Suddenly from the last few years, a new environment has evolved polluting all the other aspects of your life.
What’s that?
Social environment:
It’s an illusionary environment created by you. It is destroying the habitats of your primary two environments.
Social media as a testimony; do you realize how it’s unidentified addiction is mercilessly slaughtering your...
Express yourself to flush out the negativity
Allow me to begin with a small composition of mine:
Speak
Speak speak... you speak
SPEAK WITH AUTHORITY, SPEAK WITH CLARITY... make sure you get heard when you speak
Irrespective of the language YOU SPEAK... as long as you have a voice, you speak
don’t wary the criticisms and the questions ... as long as you are right, you speak
Don’t worry about losing them, FOR THE SAKE OF FINDING YOURSELF, you speak.
To spit out the negativity, for the sake of positivity... gather courage only once to speak
on their face and never behind, as long as they are wrong, you speak
FOR THE SAKE YOUR RESPECT AND ESTEEM... SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK... YOU SPEAK
Hope you liked it!
Let's jump right into the nitty-gritty of expressing:
Expressing is an introduction of your true self to the outside world. Whatever you are inside, just exhibit it outside.
What you are and whatever you feel, just express yourself. Never feel afraid of it.
Always remember:
“You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” - Claire Baker
And this applies to everyone. When you have the freedom of expression, use it to your advantage.
You are probably wondering:
Why is expressing important?
Expressing is your deliberate attempt to convert the negativity felt into positivity.
In the world full of lies and betrayals, it is difficult to stop feeling negative. But you need to understand that feeling negative is not a problem.
The problem arises when you keep that negativity within you and do not express it out.
But when you express out, you unburden yourself and flush out the negativity.
To maintain transparency between your physical and mental appearance.
In case you don't know:
There are two facets of your appearance- physical and mental.
Expressing acts as a mirror between the two. It ensures that whatever you feel from inside, you present it outside.
This way, you are true to yourself and to others. There is no retention of negative feelings inside you to attract other negative energies.
You always ride high on yourself via expressing.
When you express your true self to others, it means you value your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs. No wonder, expressing is one of the best ways to develop self-love.
The quote above says it all...
When you express, you expose yourself in front of others. You reveal your true identity to them.
In the process, people might get hurt. Many people might not like you. They can call you rude, offensive and aggressive. They might misunderstand you.
However, the ones who deserve to be in your life will understand you gradually. They will accept you the way you are.
No wonder, these people will be less. But they will be the ones whom you will find by your side every time you need them.
It's your identity, this is the way you always are, independent of the person, time and situation. Feel proud!
Look:
Being nude is always better than being naked.
Sounds silly? It's not:
Being nude is your choice.
It is when you uncover yourself by yourself. It‘s your discretion to expose yourself to others. It is the transparency you...
Wish on my deathbed
I am dying at 35 but this is not what is hurting me. What’s painful is that when I look back, I don’t recall 35 memories to cherish!!! The journey has not been worth remembering.
I am not saying I was sad throughout my life, but yes, I always struggled to feel happy. Never had I felt what I realize now, which is the difference between real happiness and materialistic happiness.
And the irony is when I have realized it, I cannot be happy. I am dying and practically, I cannot choose happiness. I can only miss happiness. But at least you can... choose it now.
You might be curious to know what happened suddenly that my life turned upside down?
I am literally into tears to pen it down but I will, just to make you realize that today is my turn, likewise, it can be yours tomorrow. And I don’t want you to die like me, just like that.
Well... nothing much to tell because it was all good a week back. Just a slight pain in my stomach which led to a couple to tests. Huh... to find what?
The final stage of liver cancer with a piece of news... the news that I have a few months, weeks or maybe days left. Hard to live with the fact that I am dying anytime soon.
But wait a minute, is this something new I got to know? Is it really news that I might die soon? Was I not aware of it or rather are ‘we’ not aware that we‘ll die one day?
I am sure even you know about this inevitable truth but there is a difference between you knowing and me knowing it...
The difference is that I can feel it now but I’m not sure you can!!!
Sorry to say this but maybe you die before me, trust me it is possible. I may sound weird so let me back it with a testimony.
About a month back, I heard the shocking news that a 40-year-old man from my vicinity has been diagnosed with a final stage brain tumor and he does not have much time left. I know him personally and this news left me shattered. I remember I was saying to my wife that 40 is not an age to die. How could be God so cruel? Ha... never dared to imagine that I am dying before him in my thirties.
Now I am sure you got a pinch of my taste! This is how unpredictable life is.
I close my eyes at night more in fear whether they would open to see a morning... sometimes I wonder what is a bigger challenge? To die gracefully or to live gracefully? Because suddenly I see my definition of challenges transforming.
I could sense the definition of my success changing, which was once to earn bread, and what is now to earn breaths. I could feel a change in my attitude from ‘let it come’ some time back to ‘let it go’ today. I could sense the perception of my future...
What is right and what is wrong?
Am I right or am I wrong?
This question comes to your mind before and after any action. Let us try to find an answer.
Dear friend, you have your right-wrong beliefs in different spheres- personal, professional, political, economic and so on. But a person’s life mainly revolves around two spheres-personal and professional.
Involving these two spheres, let us take the help of illustrations to unlock the right and wrong beliefs.
You can have the right and wrong beliefs about:
Situations
People
Let us take a situation-based instance from the personal sphere...
If I ask you... Is God right or wrong? This question sounds weird, but trust me it’s logical. Please answer it…
Did you feel that your answer is biased to your current situation? Confused? Let me clear this out for you.
Suppose, your today is a fairytale with happiness all around. No wonder, for you, God is absolutely right!
God forbid but assume the other side… You surfaced a sudden loss or a failure. Something shattered your life and there’s sadness all around. If I ask you the same question, God will be wrong.
Yes, it happens with almost every individual.
Your answer today is dependent on your current situation. You felt it, right? And this happens with most of us. The spontaneity to react to a situation bypasses the concepts of right and wrong.
Let us take the example of people in your professional sphere...
If I ask you whether your boss is right or wrong?
Your answer will be based on the current tuning with him.
The day when he applauds you or offers you incentives or talks about your salary raise, he is right. But the day when he screams at you or overburdens you with work, the same boss is wrong.
The same thinking is applicable when you are the boss...The day you see your employee devoting extra time to work, cracking a deal, achieving targets, he is right... and when he takes long leaves, asks for a salary hike, commits mistakes, he is wrong.
One observation drawn is you adjust your right and wrong as per time and situation you are in...
Let us find out whether this adjustment is justified…
Here’s the interesting part...
You are just another person who makes a choice as per your convenience of time and situation. Likewise, others are doing it. And there is nothing wrong with it.
My dear friend, you are just a slave to our priorities. Your right and wrong are molded as per time and situation you in. It is all about your priorities and you need not feel sorry for the same. It is the practicality of the real world. And there is nothing much you can change about it. So let us stop judging people and situations, and stop labeling them as right or wrong...
An eye opener...
When your life is loaded with materialistic options, you might feel that thinking always about the money is wrong. But God forbid, when you cannot fulfill your necessities of life, all you want is money.
Now tell me whether you are right or wrong? Will you judge yourself now?
I am sure you’ll not…
Time for in-depth realizations!!!
You...