Love and Relationships

According to Collins dictionary, Nature is all the animals, plants, and other things in the world that are not made by people, and all the events and processes that are not caused by people. (I'll be denoting Nature by They, Them, Their... Just cannot confine nature into a box of It.) Let’s meet Nature Nature is super-expressive! Since ages, they are trying hard to express: Pain during ruthless slaughtering, Misery in feeding pollutants, Suffering after a sudden human attack, Yes that’s what nature had to share. Because that’s what we... the most intelligent creatures on this planet... had been offering to them... in our own filthy ways. Cruel We ... who didn’t bother listening to nature shouts in pain inflicted by us. We could not sense those tears; We had no feelings for them in our consciousness. We murdered them for our luxuries; burnt them for money. We went unconscious of their existence, unaware that our existence is superficial without the creator — Nature! You might wonder: Why am I told this? Why am I forced to realize all of it? Well the whole purpose of saying this is: If that’s the ugly past you want to forget, guess what... you got this opportunity! It’s time you can break that equation, and start afresh chemistry with nature. Because nature just forgot ages of brutality by us during this pandemic. Nature revived without long-due revenge! Nature resurrected! Nature is back to the old school smiles! So time to get back to the present and embrace this undeserved opportunity. It’s important we connect with nature now... when they are all smiles! Never was a better time we could feel free from this guilt... the guilt of causing so much harm to them. It’s time we feel happy with them, for them! Just to remind you, nature was never helpless. If they would take long-due revenge, the entire human race could be sacrificed. That’s how much damage we did to them. But guess what... nothing as such happened... And nature we never met... sounds familiar! Call it luck, fate, destiny, anything, but make sure you accept this as a blessing! That human lockdown led to nature's independence! Indirectly adding more generations to the human race. All mediums of pollution are at rest. And the: fresh air, clear skies, whirling trees, gushing winds, chirping birds, they are all back. It’s a huge offering from nature who was hit brutally hard by us. So come on mate… We always complained about limited time. We were unconscious of their cries then. But about now...during this lockdown... Let us not miss this... to listen to nature expressing joy! Well if you are wondering... How do I interact with nature? Let me remind you there’s an unconscious breath transaction always on between you are the greens outside. Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... Oxygen... Carbon dioxide... lifetime transaction... till your last breath! And now let me ask you: The fact that life is lifeless without breath, and breath connects humans to nature, Is this not enough to create an involvement? I feel... Acknowledging this simple fact has enough reasons to develop a beautiful bond with the creator — Nature! If you could feel this mind shift, you could experience life over mental and emotional barriers. Your ego goes for a toss, as you...

"Whatever goes around comes around." Yes, it is the bottom-line of Karma. Karma is our action or deed; no matter how small or big. Whatever we do, has an objective behind it. Karma also deals with that objective. If we do something good to others but it has an evil intention behind it, then according to karma, it is wrong. Likewise, if we make a mistake but the objective behind it is pure and pious, then karma treats you accordingly. Let us take an example. If we steal a coin and give it to a beggar who is in need, the motive behind it is compassion. Here, the act of helping overpowers the act of stealing. Therefore, whatever we do, it should have a noble intention behind it. It is what "Karma" teaches us.    

As it comes: Everyone loves appreciation and appraisal from others. Come on, accept it that you like to get praised by others. It is because you get boosted and motivated by those appreciations. Sometimes, you even get flattered by those praises. But, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you enjoy those praises and appreciation from others. A few heartfelt questions: Are you worthy of those applauds? Do you also sense a feeling of self-accomplishment for the work or action you are getting appreciation from others? Are the ones praising you honestly your well-wishers? If not, then why are they praising you? Is there any hidden motive behind that false appreciation? Why are you not enjoying the appreciation when others are praising you? Do you really deserve those praises?   Huh...That was some quality brainstorming because these questions really are the need of the hour. There might be many How’s and Why’s playing hide and seek with your mind. Let us try to seek the answers.  The search for answers: First and foremost, sink into your mind that your reason to feel happy should never be that others are happy with your work or action. The things for which you are getting praised should make you happy at the first place.  My dear friend, it is absolutely fine when you are getting praised for something which is also giving you a feeling of accomplishment. The praises from others must be worthy when YOU are impressed with YOURSELF. It must be the case where praises from the outer world should be a bonus. You might want it, but you may not need it. Well, you are quite aware of the fact that how important it is to be self-motivated to keep moving in this competitive world.  This feeling of contentment derived out of self-accomplishment always keeps you up and running. But sometimes, even when you don't deserve the praises, you get it from others. Who are those people and why are they praising you? There are some people who heartily want to motivate you. Those people are your well-wishers who don’t want you to feel depressed. These people are your loved ones who want to uplift you in your lows.  It is the reason why they are praising you even if you don't deserve the appreciation. But there is another set of your appreciators, who are not your well-wishers, the ones I am referring to. Dear friend, you have this ability to distinguish between these two sets of people, but you got to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Let me throw some light on the ones whom I am referring. Straight out, the move for which you are getting praised is benefiting them, not you. Your move is deliberately planned by them so that you get the praises while they enjoy the results. They are praising you because you are making them happy like you always do. Wake up before its late. A real-life illustration: I play squash and there was a district-level squash tournament going on. My opponent in the first round was not a...

Am I right or am I wrong? This question comes to your mind before and after any action. Let us try to find an answer. Dear friend, you have your right-wrong beliefs in different spheres- personal, professional, political, economic and so on. But a person’s life mainly revolves around two spheres-personal and professional. Involving these two spheres, let us take the help of illustrations to unlock the right and wrong beliefs. You can have the right and wrong beliefs about: Situations People Let us take a situation-based instance from the personal sphere... If I ask you... Is God right or wrong? This question sounds weird, but trust me it’s logical. Please answer it… Did you feel that your answer is biased to your current situation? Confused? Let me clear this out for you.  Suppose, your today is a fairytale with happiness all around. No wonder, for you, God is absolutely right! God forbid but assume the other side… You surfaced a sudden loss or a failure. Something shattered your life and there’s sadness all around. If I ask you the same question, God will be wrong. Yes, it happens with almost every individual. Your answer today is dependent on your current situation. You felt it, right? And this happens with most of us. The spontaneity to react to a situation bypasses the concepts of right and wrong.  Let us take the example of people in your professional sphere... If I ask you whether your boss is right or wrong? Your answer will be based on the current tuning with him. The day when he applauds you or offers you incentives or talks about your salary raise, he is right. But the day when he screams at you or overburdens you with work, the same boss is wrong.  The same thinking is applicable when you are the boss...The day you see your employee devoting extra time to work, cracking a deal, achieving targets, he is right... and when he takes long leaves, asks for a salary hike, commits mistakes, he is wrong. One observation drawn is you adjust your right and wrong as per time and situation you are in... Let us find out whether this adjustment is justified… Here’s the interesting part... You are just another person who makes a choice as per your convenience of time and situation. Likewise, others are doing it. And there is nothing wrong with it. My dear friend, you are just a slave to our priorities. Your right and wrong are molded as per time and situation you in. It is all about your priorities and you need not feel sorry for the same. It is the practicality of the real world. And there is nothing much you can change about it. So let us stop judging people and situations, and stop labeling them as right or wrong... An eye opener... When your life is loaded with materialistic options, you might feel that thinking always about the money is wrong. But God forbid, when you cannot fulfill your necessities of life, all you want is money. Now tell me whether you are right or wrong? Will you judge yourself now? I am sure you’ll not… Time for in-depth realizations!!! You...

A lockdown for bodies, but minds still wandering... And this distance between mind and body — it’s turning the inevitable pain into self-made suffering. But that’s the downside!! Let’s talk about the upside... the positives through this period. Let’s try to experience these happy realizations: 1. Death connecting us to life People are dying everywhere. It provokes fear of death now and then at every heart, no different you and me. But amidst all these did you realize: We literally experienced our biggest fear Death sitting at home? Gracious we are alive!  Is there a bigger blessing? I don’t think so. Let’s celebrate life with a toast to breath as the biggest reason to smile. 2. Higher sensitivity towards poverty and hunger It’s not only about this lockdown when the poor are dying of hunger. Earlier, most of us could only sympathize. We could not take that one step further — to think about doing something for them. Why? Either shortage of time or our own lives in a turmoil. Now as we standstill, there are more volunteers to think about the poor. This lockdown has taken our sympathies to another level. And that’s wonderful! 3. Turning faces towards the real mirror — Self-awareness We are denied worldly experiences ongoing lockdown. But this phase made us dig deep within to feel ourselves.  The deeper we touch, the darker it feels!! But do you know the sunnier part? At least we are facing the real mirror! We are meeting ourselves everyday. We are knowing ourselves more! No matter beautiful or ugly reflects our face in the real mirror of self-awareness, we are experiencing the taste of our company. It is leading to self-acceptance — the foundation of self-love! 4. Inculcating a new interest Earlier we never got this length of me-time. With a lockdown of direct connections with the outside world, the sharpness of the mind has less to dissect. Maybe it’s time for the soul to reach a deeper dimension without self-judgments. Picking up that half-read old book from the shelf, Tuning-in the chords of the broken guitar, Scribbling emotions in our personal diary,  Pursuing the hobby left out of responsibility, Learning different meditation or yoga practices, Let it be anything that pulls our interest! Who knows, we discover an artist within who flares the life-spark rest of our lives. 5. Connection with smiling nature after decades  Neither money is having the last laugh nor the people. It’s nature smiling! We must feel happy for them.  After all this damage, it resurrected! The air turned cleaner; the tress became greener; the water got purer. Guess what? The renewed nature is blessing us with a healthy life! Do we really need anything else? I feel nothing can draw our interest more than getting richer with nature’s wealth. Let’s celebrate nature, preserve the wealth it’s bestowing! 6. Our battle is always in the inside We have been our comparing lives with people, competing against them. Conveniently we have been blaming them for all the wrong happening with us. But about this time, we are not against outside; we are exploring the truth: We have been battling against our illusions. And it is always about the inside! We are meeting our inner critic... the real audience. And it’s an original ball game altogether. No doubt the battle has got tougher but...

First of all, let us define self-control: According to Vocabulary.com, "Self-control is the quality that allows you to stop yourself from doing things you want to do but that might not be in your best interest." My dear friend, today’s world is full of alluring mediums where you fall prey to the materialistic forces for momentary happiness. Resisting the temptation has become extremely difficult.  Getting carried away to these tempting drives might give you instant happiness and success. It is the reason why you begin to lose your self-control and commit yourself to these choices. But is the success and happiness derived by committing to it real? Does it really last for a lifetime? Let us find out... Why is Self-Control Important? Straight out, there are no shortcuts to success, and happiness derived after fulfilling the never-ending desires is short-lived. You got the reason why is it short-lived. It is because those desires are never-ending. The fulfillment of one just makes making way for the other, resulting in a never-ending vicious flow. This momentary happiness is soon followed by regret. And trust me, this regret adversely affects the self-love. And if continued further, it may even lead to self-harming thoughts. It is immensely important to stay away from these drives. And this is why your self-control has a vital role to play. The stronger your self-control, the less you fall prey to the luring drives.  A few daily-life practical examples where self-control is important... Student, self-control is resisting the temptation of going to your best friend's birthday celebration today when he/she has a difficult exam tomorrow. Ice-cream lover, self-control is resisting the temptation of eating it when you are on a fitness diet. Married man, self-control is resisting the temptation of getting carried by the physical beauty of another woman. Sugar patient, self-control is resisting the temptation of sweets and desserts. Parent, self-control is resisting the temptation of raising hands on your child when he/she commits a mistake. Stressed person, self-control is resisting the temptation of alcohol, which is an elusive stress buster. Monetary-struggler, self-control is resisting the temptation to earn quick money by unethical means like gambling or theft. Failure, self-control is the resisting the temptation of giving up. I am sure you can relate to any of these instances.How is Self-Control Connected to Self-Esteem? In such a competitive and stressful environment where every man is for themselves, self-esteem has become quite essential. And it is your self-control, which is responsible for your boosted self-esteem. If you keep falling prey to the alluring mediums, you will never be able to ride high on your self-esteem. Ultimately, you shall keep on denying the internal happiness. On the contrary, you just need one big situation where you resist yourself to the alluring temptation via self-control. Then off you go, your self-esteem and self-love get an automatic boost. And this boost acts as a solid base to resist the upcoming temptations. Let us find out how this entire process works... AN INDIVIDUAL – SELF-CONTROL – CHARACTER BUILDING  – AVOIDANCE OF MATERIALISTIC TEMPTATIONS – HIGH SELF-ESTEEM –  REAL HAPPINESS. First and foremost, self-control has to be your initiation to do the...

The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health? Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires? Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering? Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before? Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics? If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas. High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts. Let’s understand what’s cooking A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering. Like too much to take! And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition. The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted! Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now. To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period! What all of it is resulting to? Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity. I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine. And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark. I walked out in a better headspace! A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind. I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful. 4 Mindshifts for a better headspace A mere acceptance of your pain Human race is mourning to bereavement, Eyes around reflect deep down fears, Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death, Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never, Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,  Like everything brought to a standstill! Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world. You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out. The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety. But my dear friend... you need to realize: Not only you, your family, your city, or your country... It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now. So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal! Yes you need to accept this right now... Better said... you might wonder: How should I gracefully accept this change? Just acknowledge you are not battling alone. It's not only about you this time... we are in this together! This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain. It brings the acceptance you need! Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering. Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive! You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living. You got to feel grateful for this! You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness. If I ask you:  Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point? I think many of us would admit: Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did! If...

Ok, let me second that negative people and things surround you. Simultaneously, don't you feel that an individual or a situation detrimental to you could be positive for others? Moreover, don't you think it is entirely practicable that others find you cynical? Having said that, does that make you negative? No, it does not. One thing you need to realize is every individual perceive people and situations according to him/her. I am sorry but only seeing negativity implies that you are wearing a defective pair of lenses. Please stop playing the blame game. Always remember that you can never get affected by others when you have a dominant and a powerful inner-self.  Straight out, getting carried away by negativity emitted by people and situations is your incompetency to deal with it. Feeling cynical because of others implies that you are not under the influence of your aura. It indicates that you are dwelling on others' aura. Summon into mind that YOU are the only reason for your negativity or positivity. You cannot get affected by others if you have a prestigious and powerful inner self. Moreover, one more thing you need to understand is that you should not stay quiet if you have an opinion. Speak up. Express yourself. Let people know what you feel. Flushing out emotional feelings then and there always makes you feel lighter. Subsequently, it enables you to keep away from negativity. Retaining things inside you gives birth to negativity. Eventually, you start playing the blame game. Stop doing it.  

Do you lose your temper when someone cuts you in traffic? Or you feel guilty of exploding on anyone you can exercise your dominance, especially children, which you afterward regret? If something sounds relevant, you need to control your anger. Mismanaged anger can destroy personal, professional, and social relationships. It disturbs the peace inside.   Sometimes it’s hard to overturn consequences of fuming anger, especially broken trust and respect in a relationship. Why do you feel angry? Is anger bad? You feel angry when people don’t act and situations don’t happen, according to you. Stubborn thoughts conquer the mind under the rule of ego. All look perfect until the outside world happens according to your desire.   When people agree to you, you feel proud, unconsciously tuning to a self-boasting state. But then comes people’s perspective, their choice differs yours, and suddenly you dislike everyone and everything. You feel hurt, and your dwindled ego cries. It gets cranky, loaded with stress, and starts yelling on people, even on oneself (those brutal self-judgments). But that’s the downside of uncontrolled anger.  Though anger is a negative emotion, it’s not a useless emotion. It powers you with courage to raise a voice for a cause or second a perspective.  Anger is the driver of negative motivation, encouraging you to stand up against bullies and unethical behaviors.  So anger is a powerful emotion, not bad.  We just don’t know to manage anger. 16 magical anger management techniques  Know your triggers Anger is a little mud over the hard surface of other negative emotions. Tap on to your anger and embrace it, till you explore the underlying emotions triggering it. Jealousy or an Unfulfilled expectation... what’s your trigger? Express in person when you turn calmer Never hold a grudge. Talk to them and clear misunderstandings when temperature stabilizes. Holding it for long converts the loop of thoughts to negative emotions, which mires the raw and true feelings. Initiate your expression with ‘I’ statement having less or no ‘You’ Try improving the quality of your argument.  Say something like I feel bad as I’m already hurt or I can’t take this as I’m already feeling low. Then to say: How can you say this? It’s your fault. What’s wrong with you? Don’t stop yourself from being sensitive I am overly sensitive towards emotions.  What I found that’s one trait of my attitude. I need not change it, instead, stop judging myself for that. The less I self-judge, the less the anger, the more self-love floats, and the more I spread love. Stop focussing on personality when you are alone You lose on life experiences if you spend Me-time adjusting your personality.  You become more and more rigid. That rigidity fuels the anger most of the time. Let the people define your personality, stop self-labeling your identity, it’s not your job. Enhance quality of lifestyle What nutrition you intake, your discipline at work, and how much you rest, these mostly define your lifestyle. And a healthy lifestyle is a vital element of conscious living, so work on it. It’s a must for sanity where you are not fuming over little things. Affirmation of positive thoughts It’s a practice, 10-min everyday session.  Positive self talks soaked in love during this. Gratitude and Forgiveness the sole agendas here. Raise curiosity to...

Before starting any journey, one has to know the destination.  Without a destination, the voyage is incomplete.  Let us assume that we have a set of skills. However, until we don’t know what to do with those skills, they are good for nothing. It’s like living life without a purpose. Goals are essential to move forward in life. Moreover, they help us in harnessing our energy in the right direction. Subsequently, they result in productivity from our efforts and energy.  Goals help us realize our true potential. We come to know about where we stand today and what needs to be done to raise our standards. A goal not only helps us in measuring our progress but also helps in maintaining our focus. A goal oriented person never gets distracted.  Moreover, when we subdivide our goals into small targets, it excitingly motivates us and keeps up our motivational level. Therefore, it is vital to set a goal and work for it.