We Lose Via Expectations…

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(Last Updated On: September 26, 2017)

Life goes on the way it is intended to be. Expectations never change the inevitable. Having said that, our undue expectations from people has become one of the biggest reasons for feeling negative. Therefore, it has become imperative to find out the reasons why we expect from people. 

Why do we expect and from whom do we expect?

In today’s world, we expect from people because we want them to ‘Return the Favor back.’ It is an obligation we anticipate from others in exchange for the good things we assume we did for them. It is the reason why we hope for the reciprocation from them.

Quickly, we need to understand that if we are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill our expectations, the matter of fact is that we are unreasonable and foolish.

Supremely, our expectations could be from the ones whom we love, who are important to us. It might be from the people we care for, whom we respect, the ones with whom we share a strong bond and an active connection.

Let’s say, our every expectation from people is getting fulfilled. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per our expectations.

The question is how long we will keep on getting our expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting our expectations?

The never-ending expectation process:

Let us be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge to the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth; the chain breaks down one day. Yes, our feelings get hurt one day.

Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where we tend to shift our perception of people who belong to us. By and by, we even form a negative opinion about those people.

We begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to our expectation. We start to forget the positives associated with them.

In due process, we don’t realize the value of that person in our spirits before this particular incident. Eventually, we lose that person. 

It is quite strange and ironic that we begin to blame others without realizing that there is no one else to blame except ourselves.

Time for some Happy Realizations:

Friends, there is no problem whatsoever in expecting.Of course, we can expect from the individuals for whom we radiate love and esteem. It is reasonable to expect from people whom we help when in need and hence, the anticipation of the reciprocation.

However, it is not the expectation, but the intensity of expectation, which is the cause of the problem. It is the extremity of our expectations from others, which is the reason behind the negative emotions because of the unfulfilled expectations.

A hard realization…if our unfulfilled expectation from others hurt, it implies our feeling towards them is conditional. Yes, that is why we are putting conditions to return the favor.

One thing we need to comprehend if it was our voluntary decision to do things/shed positive emotions for them, why are we expecting the reciprocation from them now? Those people are not our debtors who owe us back the same in return with interest.

Let us not increase the vigor of our expectations from people to a level where:

  1. We become totally dependent on them and we begin to lose ourselves.
  2. They begin to get strangled by our expectations from them.
  3. We attempt to take unreasonable advantage of them as we cognize that they won’t revolt.
  4. We either infuse negativity inside us or them.
  5. We lose them because of our unreasonable expectations not getting realized by them.

Summon into minds that nobody owes us anything. We look for shelters only when the foundation of your dwelling is weak and fragile. Sometimes, it raises a question on our competence to solve our problems.

Expectations cannot change the reality. Let us not lose our near and dear ones by our false and undue expectations. Let us always be hopeful but at the same time, be ready to face the wrath of the worst.

 

 

 

 

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